Past behaviour regrets, changing with time, age and wisdom

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So last night I couldn’t sleep, I was thinking about things Iv done in my past and how I regret some things Iv ever done or said. Not that iv done anything too dramatic or bad, but I mean behaving a certain way that I now look back at in horror.
I didn’t really mature until I was around 29/30 years old. I kept thinking about how I differently I would act now, like for example ending things with ex boyfriends or fallings out with friends. I come from a small village and I dread to think what some people think of me- do they remember me and think ‘oh she was a nightmare, she was this she was that’ and I know I shouldn’t care what people think but it’s the fact that I’m not like that now. I started down the Buddhist route a few years back and now I just seem to have a totally different outlook on life and how I treat people. I cringe at some things Iv said or acted and even though I don’t want to start going round apologising for people I do often wish I could.
i don’t know if I’m rambling abit and I’m not sure how to get across what I’m even trying to say but we aren’t our past are we? We all change and evolve and when I think about people in my past I think of them how they were then, and wonder if they think about me how I was then?and I get embarrassed.
I often think about my brothers ex gf and how I wasn’t very nice to her when they split up and I feel so bad about it now, and i often think about her and say a few prayers.
I just wondered if anyone else does this too? Or is it just me? I always think how different I was and I can hardly recognise myself now,I defo think I’m a lot kinder and a nicer person, and I suppose I just wish I had always been this person.
sorry for rambling on, I just am intrigued if anyone else reflects like this?
 
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I had a boyfriend who I liked, but for some reason I started texting someone back who I met on NYE that year, and he knew i was in a relationship but we did it anyway, it was definitely sexual, we never met up when I was with this guy but did after. The boyfriend finally broke up with me after 5 months, but to this day I don’t know if he knew I texted this other guy early into the relationship or not, but it wasn’t brought up when we broke up months later. I often think about him and I feel really bad because he was nice and fit 😂 if our paths ever crossed again I’d tell him what I did and apologise.
 
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Don't worry. Most of us do it. Past transgressions sneak up on me all the time in my head and I still cringe. I always wonder if the other people involved even remember. They'd probably piss themselves that we're worrying about completely pointless shite.
 
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Yes definitely, I understand what you mean. I think we’ve all done things as our younger selves that we regret now we’re older and wiser but what worries me is that we’re always our youngest selves, I’m not sure if it ever stops. I think I’m probably a better person than I was 10 years ago but it does worry me to think in another 10 years I’ll look back at myself now and regret or cringe at things I said or did. I guess it’s all part of the journey x
 
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Yes definitely, I understand what you mean. I think we’ve all done things as our younger selves that we regret now we’re older and wiser but what worries me is that we’re always our youngest selves, I’m not sure if it ever stops. I think I’m probably a better person than I was 10 years ago but it does worry me to think in another 10 years I’ll look back at myself now and regret or cringe at things I said or did. I guess it’s all part of the journey x
Yes I think it must be part of the journey and I suppose if we didn’t feel these things then we aren’t changing or growing up. I’d hate to think we would never change as people, and so maybe I should just accept it for what it is. But I don’t know why, Iv just been dwelling on things more lately. Xx
 
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My Facebook "on this day" memories make me regret what I've posted over the years. I'm such a dick at times.
 
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I regret many things in my life but I know without those regrets I wouldn’t be where I am today. One of the biggest regrets was staying with my ex for much longer than I should of but sometimes things happen for a reason.
 
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I have many regrets, but for now I would like to mention my time on Tattle so far. If I could go back to the beginning, when I first signed up, I would have liked to have taken my time in writing posts. I regret some of the posts I have written on here, If I could erase them I would.
As it is, Tattle is proving to be a very supportive community, right now.
 
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I regret many things in my life but I know without those regrets I wouldn’t be where I am today. One of the biggest regrets was staying with my ex for much longer than I should of but sometimes things happen for a reason.
I can relate to that, I also stayed in a relationship too long, should have left before she used me as a punching bag.
 
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I can relate to that, I also stayed in a relationship too long, should have left before she used me as a punching bag.
Finding the strength to leave an abuser is one of the hardest things to ever do! You come out of the relationship a different person. I know for me my whole outlook and view on life changed.
 
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My Facebook "on this day" memories make me regret what I've posted over the years. I'm such a dick at times.
I delete the really cringe ones, not that anyone can see them unless I share them, but I just don’t want to be reminded of my own twattery year after year😆

I’ve definitely done things in the past I regret, either because it was cringe worthy, was awful towards someone else or because sometimes I put my self in unsafe situations and I was lucky to come out unharmed. Sometimes they do keep me up at night, that worry that people only remember you for that one thing, even though you don’t see those people anymore so it doesn’t really matter. The more time goes on the less I ruminate over certain things. I do think I have grown since then and continue to grow as I go through life. I don’t think mistakes I made when I was young, naive and mostly drunk define me especially not nearing on a decade later. Even if that’s how some people remember me.
 
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I do often feel bad for how I've treated other people. In particular my in laws from my ex husband. They wasn't horrible to me at all, intact quite the opposite, they welcomed me into their home. But I found reason to think they were finding error in me. I gave them reasons to dislike me - I was outwardly horrible to them. I was very young and had come from a broken home, he was my first serious, long term relationship and it is difficult to admit but I was jealous of this close knit family full of love for not only themselves but their wider community and others that looking back no matter what I did that really should have pushed them away, they seemed to take extreme pity on me and be even more forgiving. I ghosted them when I broke up with my first ex husband, convinced they hated me as I was so horrible to them.

Fast forward 8 years of being totally removed from their lives. I never spoke to them again, when my life deteriorated beyond anyones imagination to the point where I was severely mentally unwell and unfit to care for my own children and they were the only people who could take my children even though they lived nearly 250 miles away (ALL of my children - including their grandchildrens sibling who was not theirs and was from my abusive 2nd husband of whom I escaped from and they had never met before). They did not have to do this and could have only taken their own grandchildren, especially with how I treated them when I was in their life. They recieved no financial help for 2 years and took care of them all. Things have been up for a while and they are nearly home full time to be with their youngest sibling. We have the greatest relationship now even though the one between their son and I is not and I find myself breaking down in tears just talking to them. I'm so full of regret for how I was to them in my youth. They are beautiful people and were then. I get eaten up with guilt that it will consume me often but I do try to pray for forgiveness and send lots of warmth and love their way.

If they did not do this. My children would have been trapped in the care system.
 
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For the past two months I've been struggling with something I did when I was 21 (I'm 26 now) - nervous breakdown symptoms
I was very lonely and in a dark place, and allowed someone to take advantage of/degrade me for a few months
I never told anyone about this.

Now I'm in a better place in life, I just feel really embarrassed and ashamed.
 
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I'm filled with guilt tonight, my so called best friend has rung me, first time I've spoke to her in over 2 years, really wish I hadn't answered her, have had a good day ( for me that's a bloody plus) she's just knocked the stuffing out of me, has brought up stuff I've said to her, which I've apologised for, not sure where I go with this now.

For the past two months I've been struggling with something I did when I was 21 (I'm 26 now) - nervous breakdown symptoms
I was very lonely and in a dark place, and allowed someone to take advantage of/degrade me for a few months
I never told anyone about this.

Now I'm in a better place in life, I just feel really embarrassed and ashamed.
Try not to dwell on it, we all mess up ( am alot older than you and have fucked up big time in my life)
Don't feel ashamed, try to look forward, take care xx
 
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For the past two months I've been struggling with something I did when I was 21 (I'm 26 now) - nervous breakdown symptoms
I was very lonely and in a dark place, and allowed someone to take advantage of/degrade me for a few months
I never told anyone about this.

Now I'm in a better place in life, I just feel really embarrassed and ashamed.
Don’t feel ashamed you were vulnerable. I think we all feel guilt surrounding how other people treat us. My ex partner abused me for years and never treated our son like a dad should of. For years after I thought that was my fault or it was because we wasn’t good enough!
Counselling and talking about things helps you deal with it.
 
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I wished i'd told the people who walked all over me to duck off. Also, I wish I had just walked away from some relationships rather than hoping they would improve, and not try to get girls back who didn't want me.
 
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Don’t be too hard on yourself. None of us are born perfect and what a boring life that would be. I too have made huge mistakes and said and done the wrong things over the years. My family often remind me of my past failings, bless them, they think they are perfect. 😉 We are on a journey through life. That journey will be flawed in places, but the highs and triumphs must be celebrated too. 💜
 
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I regret not spending more time with my Dad. He was always shy, hated talking on the phone, and was always happiest observing rather than being involved. When I moved away from home I just kind of stopped talking to him. Not intentionally, it just... happened. We'd talk but not often, and not for long. I've never told anyone how guilty I feel about this. 2 years on since we lost him, and I still haven't really let myself grieve properly.
 
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I've been thinking about my past all week! Not sure why. I've got tuns of regret. I work on my own quite a lot and my thoughts run away with me. I end up cringing at certain things I've said and done!

For some reason I can't stop thinking about my first ever boyfriend. I really liked him but I was 14/15 at the time and after a year or so of being with him, I wanted to be free and single and talk to other boys I guess. I remember saying to him when we broke up that I wish we'd met when we where older. Still regard him as one of the best boyfriend I've had though. Am nearly 30 now. I keep stalking him and his wife on Facebook. I need to stop 😂 really happy for him that he is happily married now but I keep thinking in my head of sceneraios where I'd bump into him and what I would say. I haven't seen him for such a long time so I'm guessing it's just curiosity and wondering 'what if' 😏
 
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