So last night I couldn’t sleep, I was thinking about things Iv done in my past and how I regret some things Iv ever done or said. Not that iv done anything too dramatic or bad, but I mean behaving a certain way that I now look back at in horror.
I didn’t really mature until I was around 29/30 years old. I kept thinking about how I differently I would act now, like for example ending things with ex boyfriends or fallings out with friends. I come from a small village and I dread to think what some people think of me- do they remember me and think ‘oh she was a nightmare, she was this she was that’ and I know I shouldn’t care what people think but it’s the fact that I’m not like that now. I started down the Buddhist route a few years back and now I just seem to have a totally different outlook on life and how I treat people. I cringe at some things Iv said or acted and even though I don’t want to start going round apologising for people I do often wish I could.
i don’t know if I’m rambling abit and I’m not sure how to get across what I’m even trying to say but we aren’t our past are we? We all change and evolve and when I think about people in my past I think of them how they were then, and wonder if they think about me how I was then?and I get embarrassed.
I often think about my brothers ex gf and how I wasn’t very nice to her when they split up and I feel so bad about it now, and i often think about her and say a few prayers.
I just wondered if anyone else does this too? Or is it just me? I always think how different I was and I can hardly recognise myself now,I defo think I’m a lot kinder and a nicer person, and I suppose I just wish I had always been this person.
sorry for rambling on, I just am intrigued if anyone else reflects like this?
I didn’t really mature until I was around 29/30 years old. I kept thinking about how I differently I would act now, like for example ending things with ex boyfriends or fallings out with friends. I come from a small village and I dread to think what some people think of me- do they remember me and think ‘oh she was a nightmare, she was this she was that’ and I know I shouldn’t care what people think but it’s the fact that I’m not like that now. I started down the Buddhist route a few years back and now I just seem to have a totally different outlook on life and how I treat people. I cringe at some things Iv said or acted and even though I don’t want to start going round apologising for people I do often wish I could.
i don’t know if I’m rambling abit and I’m not sure how to get across what I’m even trying to say but we aren’t our past are we? We all change and evolve and when I think about people in my past I think of them how they were then, and wonder if they think about me how I was then?and I get embarrassed.
I often think about my brothers ex gf and how I wasn’t very nice to her when they split up and I feel so bad about it now, and i often think about her and say a few prayers.
I just wondered if anyone else does this too? Or is it just me? I always think how different I was and I can hardly recognise myself now,I defo think I’m a lot kinder and a nicer person, and I suppose I just wish I had always been this person.
sorry for rambling on, I just am intrigued if anyone else reflects like this?