Painkiller addiction😢

[Loolie99]

This has taken some guts for me to do this, thank god I'm anonymous.
After having my second baby I was left with horrendous lower back pain , some days it would be crippling. My gp put me on 30mg co cocodamol...that was 4 years ago and within that 4 years my addiction has spiralled.
For an insider looking in you would probably never ever guess. I'm very mumsy, my children are my world etc etc.
I quickly became addicted after not really suffering with my back to warrant anymore painkillers...but I crave the way it makes me feel, a buzz really, but still able to function as normal and go about my day to day life. I began taking x5 30/500mg cocodamol in the morning, then another two at lunch and another two on the afternoon and more if I felt I needed the comfort of the euphoric warm feeling. Some times my body would tell me I've taken too much and I'd be sick, not often though.
I was given 100 tablets a month on repeat prescription which wouldn't last so I would buy over the counter lower strength to keep me going. I've even had my friends painkillers. I knew that if I didnt seek help I would end up killing myself. My doctor put me on a withdrawal programme and i am now down to 21 15mg codeine a week...but this lasts me 4 days and i am now back to buying over the counter cocodamol to get me through the last few days before i collect my prescription. I have no control. I dont know why I'm doing this to myself and I feel SO SO sad. I panic at the thought of never taking these tablets again and I don't want to tell my doctor that the weekly tablets are only lasting 4 days instead of 7.
I've done so well to wean myself down to a much lower dose but I am annoyed that I am not taking them as indicated. Please tell me I am not alone

 

[Lippy277]

Hello, I feel very bad for you. I think you should be very proud of yourself that you have managed to reduce your intake. Its very addictive. That shows you do have control. I think the best thing for you to do is be honest with your doctor. They may be able to provide further support. Otherwise the alternative may be your intake increases again. And that has so many risks in itself. Dont be scared to ask for help. Wishing you well xx

 

[BettyCrocker]

Please go back to your Dr and be completely honest with them about your situation- you have an addiction and you need help to get through it, they are there to help you so please don’t feel ashamed. It would probably also be beneficial if you had some other therapy - CBT or some form of counselling to help you develop the skills to overcome the need to take the pills. Be brave and speak out, you will beat this.

 

[SunshineDreamer]

The below post is coming from my husband who is an A&E consultant.

Please tell your Doctor. They are not here To judge. Most doctors expect patients to struggle or relapse as dealing with any type of addiction is incredibly hard and if it were that easy, you wouldn’t have seemed help in the first place. What you need to remember is you have already done the hardest part by admitting you need help. You state that your doctor has put you on a withdrawal programme but has there been any offer of phycological health or cognitive behaviour therapy? There are normally always other factors involved when it comes to any type of addiction and you may need a stronger, daily programme. Would an inpatient programme be a possibility for you? Some patients find being solely focused on their recovery and that alone is helpful. Remember, you have already come so far and although you may not feel you’ll be able overcome this last bump, you will.

 

[Raininvain]

I'd go back to the Drs and ask to be referred to the local drug/alcohol team, they have seen all this before. Its quite common. Say the withdrawal programme your on is not enough to hold you and you need to look at other options. They could put you on other substitute prescribing, get you stable then lower you down very gradually. Don't be ashamed or worried please go back. You would also get more specialist support from them like counselling etc.

 

[Definitelyme]

It’s great that you’ve worked with your Dr already, although it seems that while it has worked to an extent, you need more support to be able to stick to the plan. You don’t mention a significant other, if you have one are they aware and helping you? Would you get in touch with your local NA group? https://ukna.org/ You definitely need to make an emergency GP appointment and tell them what you’ve told us.

You know you have a problem and are looking for help. That’s a HUGE step, don’t downplay it at all. It’s the first step towards recovery.

Good luck x

 

[Cucumber and eggs]

This has happened to me, i have a history of painkiller addiction from morphine, oromorph, pregablin, oxycodeine etc... as I had x3 lots of spinal surgery. managed to wean myself off all of them. Had baby 7 months ago, like you hurt my back and now im addicted to codeine. I feel physically and mentally ill if i miss my next dose by half hour. I completely understand and would love to get off them but they honestly help me function. I dont think I even take them for back pain anymore just to stop the withdrawals and get a high from them

 

[Raininvain]

This has happened to me, i have a history of painkiller addiction from morphine, oromorph, pregablin, oxycodeine etc... as I had x3 lots of spinal surgery. managed to wean myself off all of them. Had baby 7 months ago, like you hurt my back and now im addicted to codeine. I feel physically and mentally ill if i miss my next dose by half hour. I completely understand and would love to get off them but they honestly help me function. I dont think I even take them for back pain anymore just to stop the withdrawals and get a high from them

Sorry to hear you are having difficulties as well. Could you go to the G.P and ask for some help? There is help out there for you please don't struggle alone.

 

[Lac1985]

@Loolie99 im so sorry to hear you’re going through this but well done for what you have achieved so far.
My partner unfortunately struggles with addiction, and I recently found out he’s been addicted to tramadol, over the counter painkillers and other prescription drugs (none of which were prescribed to him) for the last couple of years.
It’s taken him a while to come to terms with the fact he has a problem, because he likes taking them. Although he hasn’t been to the doctor, he has started seeing a counsellor and hasn’t touched anything for over a month now.
Although his counsellor isn’t cheap (£50/hr), it’s had a remarkable affect on him from the first session. If you’re able to go to a counsellor, or get a referral from a gp it might be useful to you too x

 

[Apple In My Pie]

Hi,
i don’t have experience with addiction but I just wanted to pass on my well wishes to you. The fact that you recognise this is an issue for you is a big step forward in and of itself, it means there‘s light at the end of the tunnel (no matter how small) - and you WILL reach it. I would recommend talking to your doctor again, they are there to help you and they will not judge you for it! I would bet that you hurt or judge yourself more over it than any doctor ever would. If you couldn’t say it out loud, perhaps you could write your thoughts down in a journal and pass it to them, or even show them this thread. They will help you manage your addiction, give you strategies to cope. Good luck!

 

[WilmaHun]

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. Whilst I can't directly relate as I've never suffered from addiction, I would feel awful if I read your post and scrolled on by without saying a thing. You've taken the first step by speaking to your Dr, and that in itself is a huge achievement which you should be proud of. Please though, I urge you to speak with your Dr again and be honest with them. They are not there to judge, they just want to help. My Dr surgery has an online system where you can write a message to your Dr on the website - could you see if yours has a similar service? It may be easier to write it down rather than tell them face to face. I wish you all the best in your recovery and I really hope they are able to help you.

 

[theghosttown]

Firstly, well done for being able to come out and talk about this, it is extremely hard to admit addiction. Painkiller addiction is so so common and something I have almost fallen into the grasp of and it’s something that my husband has suffered from. Co codamol etc are opiates and highly addictive and unfortunately are prescribed too easy and without strong enough warnings. The only difference with an opiate painkiller and heroin is that heroin is semi synthetic and your doctor really needs to give you much much more help in tackling this. You also need to take a step back and look at how much you have achieved in weaning yourself down - that is NOT easy and you are doing so well. The problem with addiction is you have to break the mental habit. It’s like with smoking, a lot of people don’t necessarily miss the nicotine but rather the habit of having that cigarette. As another poster explained CBT could be a great option for you.

I can honestly assure you that there is light at the end of the tunnel and the fact you have reached out to your doctor means you’re part of your way there. I would 100% go back to your doctor and explain to them that you are still struggling and that you feel that you need additional help. Keep us all updatedx

 

[ka1982]

I am so grateful to you for being honest and coming out of your comfort zone to post this.
I too have a problem with Cocodamol addiction. I have been prescribed 30/500mg tablets for around 15 years and I take at least 4 tablets every few hours. I put my repeat prescription in every couple of weeks and also take my mums monthly prescription too. I go through 100’s every month. I ask friends and colleagues if they have any spare if im running low. I also drive to a number of different chemists and buy packs of solphadeine plus and paramol. It’s become completely out of control for me now. I had a Heroin and crack addiction from the age of 12 years old until I became pregnant with my 17 year old. I have a very addictive personality as well as a number of mental health conditions. I really do hope that I can build up enough courage like you have to get a Dr’s appointment and tell them the truth. Over the last couple of months I’ve been getting really down about the amount of painkillers I take but I’m just too scared to see my Dr and then him just stop prescribing me the Cocodamol and me being made to go cold turkey yet again as I did all those years ago.
Please let me know how you are getting on. I honestly wish you all the best right now xxx

 

[openbook1]

Hey
I hope you are okay. You have already managed to do two amazing things, 1. weaning yourself to a lower amount and 2. reaching out to your doctor (and here). It is hard for many to realise that they need help, so the fact that you have realised that is really good.
I agree with the above with talking to your doctor again and perhaps trying a different program, as well as doing some therapy such as cognitive therapy. Addiction to painkillers is common and unfortunately, it is because doctors have been overprescribing them (not saying that is your case). I live in a country where opioid addiction is a big problem and doctors are very cautious of prescribing painkillers now, you barely get any after surgeries now.

 

[Raininvain]

I am so grateful to you for being honest and coming out of your comfort zone to post this.
I too have a problem with Cocodamol addiction. I have been prescribed 30/500mg tablets for around 15 years and I take at least 4 tablets every few hours. I put my repeat prescription in every couple of weeks and also take my mums monthly prescription too. I go through 100’s every month. I ask friends and colleagues if they have any spare if im running low. I also drive to a number of different chemists and buy packs of solphadeine plus and paramol. It’s become completely out of control for me now. I had a Heroin and crack addiction from the age of 12 years old until I became pregnant with my 17 year old. I have a very addictive personality as well as a number of mental health conditions. I really do hope that I can build up enough courage like you have to get a Dr’s appointment and tell them the truth. Over the last couple of months I’ve been getting really down about the amount of painkillers I take but I’m just too scared to see my Dr and then him just stop prescribing me the Cocodamol and me being made to go cold turkey yet again as I did all those years ago.
Please let me know how you are getting on. I honestly wish you all the best right now xxx

Hi, Sorry your going through this but please go and get some help because all the paracetamol is no good for your liver in addition to the addiction issue and the cost. What I would say to the Dr is that you would like to be prescribed a substitute to get stable and then think about reducing. If the Dr isnt up on drug prescribing they can refer you to the community drug team for your area. You will also then be able to get some further support/counselling etc. Its really common this and they will not be shocked.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

No advice but I take cocodamol everyday too but only at a very low dose. I was prescribed codeine on repeat after surgery three years ago. I asked for it to be removed from my repeat prescription but I’ve not stopped buying them since.

They shouldn’t be over the counter.

 

[Instabeg]

I’ve had this too. My mum use to get 30/500 on repeat and would give me them for my migraines, was a bit of a joke that she literally had a pharmacy in the kitchen. Unfortunately I felt the same feeling, sometimes just wanting to take them to chill me out. My mum during the day would constantly take over the counter cocodamol (fizzies), when I questioned why she was taking them she’d say ‘I’ve got an earache’ or some other minor excuses. What I noticed was if we went shopping she would buy a box of 100 literally for a different brand. She became really unwell, her body struggled to fight infections. I had a quiet word with her GP, they totally brushed it off. My mum sadly died (from a rare lung condition), could the painkillers have contributed, who knows.
Please talk to someone. I will still occasionally take 8/500 but only when I really have to.

No advice but I take cocodamol everyday too but only at a very low dose. I was prescribed codeine on repeat after surgery three years ago. I asked for it to be removed from my repeat prescription but I’ve not stopped buying them since.

They shouldn’t be over the counter.

Agree

 

[Barbie2020]

Go to your doctor they are there to help you and you will get through this. Sending lots of love X

 

[Loolie99]

Thank you for all of your lovely messages. I hate that this is controlling every aspect of my being. I hate myself for allowing myself to become so addicted. I have never taken drugs before but I can see why people do it. I've always been too scared to take recreational drugs due to a heart condition plus I've always been fairly sensible. My life is spiralling and I can honestly see no life without the codeine high. Its tragic x

 

[Valentina]

Thank you for all of your lovely messages. I hate that this is controlling every aspect of my being. I hate myself for allowing myself to become so addicted. I have never taken drugs before but I can see why people do it. I've always been too scared to take recreational drugs due to a heart condition plus I've always been fairly sensible. My life is spiralling and I can honestly see no life without the codeine high. Its tragic x

Please don't hate yourself because. You didn't allow yourself to become addicted, codeine addiction creeps up silently.

I used over the counter codeine with paracetamol or ibuprofen for years. I would need it to get out of bed in the mornings, and at night I'd need it to get to sleep. If I went out I would panic if I didn't have any with me as I needed it every four hours to feel 'normal'. Living in a city made it quite easy to repeat buy but when I moved to a small town it was so difficult as the pharmacy would always question why they were needed. I would drive miles to find new chemist shops. I felt weak and useless, then eleven years ago I broke my leg and needed surgery. I was discharged with a prescription for codeine and I thought my problems were over but of course they weren't. I seemed to need even more to help with pain and anxiety. Eventually I spoke to my GP and she wasn't concerned, she said that as I was using the codeine for pain relief it wasn't a problem. I was too ashamed to tell her about the previous years of over the counter drugs. After another year I decided that I needed to just cut it out all together if I was ever going to be free. Cutting down didn't work, as I would just keep slowly building up again.

Going cold turkey was pretty horrible. I camped out in the spare room and don't think I slept at all for three days. My legs were shaking all the time and I felt really ill. My muscles were very painful and I took about 5 hot baths a day to ease the pain, along with regular paracetamol and ibuprofen. I think the first three or four days were the worse but eventually it got easier. After the first week I began to feel better physically, although mentally I still felt I needed codeine emotionally. The thought of going through that previous week again is what helped me stay off them.

I've been codeine free for four years this month. I was lucky that I could just focus on myself, I don't know how I would have coped when my children were at home.

Sorry for the ramble, I just wanted to let you know that it doesn't have to be a life sentence.