Oversharing

[lisa94xo]

Does anyone have any tips on how to stop oversharing?

I'm a pretty open book and not a very private person at all - but oddly enough I'm also pretty socially anxious, so in certain situations I sometimes end up telling people details about my personal life that on reflection may make them uncomfortable / awkward, when that's not my intention at all... To be honest though I don't really know why I do it; for sympathy? For attention? My brain is wired to think of the worst case scenario, so it's all I can think of when put on the spot to talk about? Who knows.

 

[Lac1985]

Oh. My. God. I could’ve written this post myself! I have the exact same problem - and unfortunately I’m not in a great relationship so my oversharing is basically me bitching about my partner and making everyone feel uncomfortable.
I also find that I get a bit nervous in social situations now (never used to) and don’t know what to talk about so I end up spouting my whole tit life story/problems with my partner. Usually after a drink! I wake up the next day so mortified and embarrassed.
Sorry I couldn’t offer any advice, but I will be keen to hear what other people’s advice is! X

 

[lisa94xo]

Oh. My. God. I could’ve written this post myself! I have the exact same problem - and unfortunately I’m not in a great relationship so my oversharing is basically me bitching about my partner and making everyone feel uncomfortable.
I also find that I get a bit nervous in social situations now (never used to) and don’t know what to talk about so I end up spouting my whole tit life story/problems with my partner. Usually after a drink! I wake up the next day so mortified and embarrassed.
Sorry I couldn’t offer any advice, but I will be keen to hear what other people’s advice is! X

It's so reassuring to know I'm not alone! I hope your relationship improves xx

 

[BelleAmie]

Ugh I am so bad for over sharing, especially when I’ve had a drink. I’m still not great but I try to make it a game to tell people as little as possible about myself - try to maintain an air of mystery! If I’m struggling, I just ask people questions about themselves. People like talking about themselves and it means I’m less likely to waffle about myself.

 

[mcfeez]

Oh wow, I do this as well so I totally sympathise. I am a fairly quiet person and a bit socially anxious too, but combine that with being very blunt and I tend to just come out with certain things

One thing I would say is, if you have a little bit of anxiety, are you sure you just aren't over analysing the situation after the fact? I tend to do this, panic over things I've said in an earlier conversation and my husband always reassures me I didn't say anything odd or "too much" at all.

 

[WilmaHun]

Oh wow, I do this as well so I totally sympathise. I am a fairly quiet person and a bit socially anxious too, but combine that with being very blunt and I tend to just come out with certain things

One thing I would say is, if you have a little bit of anxiety, are you sure you just aren't over analysing the situation after the fact? I tend to do this, panic over things I've said in an earlier conversation and my husband always reassures me I didn't say anything odd or "too much" at all.

You've literally described me perfectly in one sentence!

I agree with Mcfeez. Sometimes it's so easy to let anxiety get the better of you and spend agesss overanalysing what you've said when in reality the people you said it to probably haven't even batted an eyelid!

 

[lisa94xo]

Oh wow, I do this as well so I totally sympathise. I am a fairly quiet person and a bit socially anxious too, but combine that with being very blunt and I tend to just come out with certain things

One thing I would say is, if you have a little bit of anxiety, are you sure you just aren't over analysing the situation after the fact? I tend to do this, panic over things I've said in an earlier conversation and my husband always reassures me I didn't say anything odd or "too much" at all.

That's more than likely true - I overthink & overanalyze situations a lot & get stressed & worked up very easily. I think I need to learn to 'let go' a bit if that makes sense! Thank you x

 

[Kim Mild]

I used to be an overcharge, I managed to train myself not to be.

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

Oh wow guys this is me, I do it on here, I do it in groups I’m in, I do it when I’m with people and I really hate it because I know I don’t do it for sympathy or attention, I just think that I don’t really explain things well so I say too much to explain what I mean or I’m not exciting enough so il just over share something to talk about. I’ve always hated small talk and get flustered, hated social situations and stayed quiet in groups unless I was drunk lol then I don’t quit talking. It never used to be a problem when I was in my teens and early to mid twenties but late twenties - current age of 31 I just haven’t wanted to be around people as much so when I do I find I’m over sharing. Maybe it’s cause I don’t have any super close friends that I talk to daily or something?

 

[lisa94xo]

Oh wow guys this is me, I do it on here, I do it in groups I’m in, I do it when I’m with people and I really hate it because I know I don’t do it for sympathy or attention, I just think that I don’t really explain things well so I say too much to explain what I mean or I’m not exciting enough so il just over share something to talk about. I’ve always hated small talk and get flustered, hated social situations and stayed quiet in groups unless I was drunk lol then I don’t quit talking. It never used to be a problem when I was in my teens and early to mid twenties but late twenties - current age of 31 I just haven’t wanted to be around people as much so when I do I find I’m over sharing. Maybe it’s cause I don’t have any super close friends that I talk to daily or something?

I totally resonate with you about not feeling exciting enough. I think deep rooted it's connected to low feelings of self worth and requiring some sort of validation from others, too (for me personally!)

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

I totally resonate with you about not feeling exciting enough. I think deep rooted it's connected to low feelings of self worth and requiring some sort of validation from others, too (for me personally!)

Yes I think you’re right, I’ve not had much confidence this past couple of years too which hasn’t helped. I really need to work on my self worth more, I’ve been doing so the past few months and I know it’ll take a while but I think once I actually feel content in myself il not be like that, well as much as I am haha.

 

[1001 others]

It is something that comes with age and experience (not meaning for that to sound condescending in any way).

I used to overshare everything ... possibly in an effort to be seen as an open book, and to gain peoples' acceptance? But over the years I got stung by "friends" and acquaintances ... from simple things such as sharing that I'd seen a great shirt on sale in my lunch break which I was going to go and buy after work, only for a workmate to beat me to it; to more complicated things such as sharing that I thought a boyfriend had lost interest in me, only for a "friend" to take the opportunity to swoop in and have a go.

I'm also very careful about who I chat to online - who would you really know who you're messaging with? I share loads of stuff on here but am confident nobody could ever work out who I really am (which is a nobody).