NZ Influencers #70

[magnoliab*tchin]

Long time, no post and I’m feeling like a bitch.

- Christian your hairline looks like 39 year old hearth brush.
- Maria I’ve never, ever followed you nor posted or liked any of your content. Did you pay scammy for access to her burn list?
- Hannah, in the nicest way you look like a paintbrush. I’ve seen you in real life and if it wasn’t for the stability of your lower jaw, I would think you were on a substance. Put your phone down and channel your energy into raising your cute little gal.
- Ellie. I am so sorry for your loss. Again, put the phone down. You don’t need the money as much as you think you do. Yes, share your story but also take the time to care for yourself. A screen isn’t going to heal you.
- Edna. Your teeth are too big. You scare me.
- Erin. Your child is too big. He scares me. Also you film him half naked gross.
- Rebecca your man is a dog and I’m just waiting for the day I see him on the “sis is this your man” fb page.
- Skete you’re like that fruit fly you thought you got rid of two weeks ago by throwing the mouldy mandarins out but ffs now it’s back and I’m like where the fuck is the rotten fruit cos you only seem to appear when you smell it.
- Tarryn. Please give your teenager the privacy he deserves. We are watching the generational trauma you are creating in real life. Leave the kid alone.

Okay I’m tired now. Good night.

 

[UndiesOnFirst]

This guys comment on LFYDs post is what we are all thinking

 

[kiwigal258]

Re: Sera's new man...
I may be a TC, but this is from April 2022 and it states something about an ankle bracelet for three years?!

Gosh...from diamond bracelets to ankle bracelets wtf.

 

[Peaches87]

Pomchu now have everything at 90% off. The $200 dog hair dryer that was only released a month ago is now $19. Imagine paying $200 for it to now see it on sale for $19.

 

[imunemployedanditsfriday]

Let’s start this off with Danni Duncan, arguably the biggest attention seeker of them all who loves to base her “child free” decision off what she THINKS parenting looks like.
Recently she embarked on a group child free holiday (whatever that means) which looked to be low budget, low entertainment, and borderline camping … but that’s because you can only go camping without kids, right?? And travel without kids?? And have fun without kids?? And have a successful thriving career without kid- oh wait. And be independent without kid- hmmm, nope. But you can sleep in cos you can’t do that with kids!!!! So there!


Unfortunately Ellie has shared the news that she had an ectopic pregnancy which is absolutely devastating for both her and Brent, as well as their friends and family who were so very happy for them. No snark, just sympathy and we wish them all the best while they heal.


Molly has hit a new low after posting pictures of primary school aged children having a makeup lesson, including education on hygiene which we can all collectively agree Molly is NOT the right person to learn from.
After spotting his child online, a parent asked her to take the post down which Molly refused to do because sHe HaS aN aGrEeMeNt WiTh ThE sChOoL and fuck what the PARENTS think of their kids being plastered on a random woman’s Instagram
After accusing the parent of abuse ( such an overused word by anyone who has someone disagree with them) she finally took the photos down and picked up her title of biggest influencer dickhead of the month. Congratulations you worked hard for that Molly!


Erin Simpson has had baby #2. No names or information released yet. Congratulations and we hope you are all doing well, even though lazy Zach is probably getting more sleep than you are.


SERA HAS SPLIT FROM DAN.
I felt like that needed bold capitals for all the newbies who come in and question it every few pages. They are separated. Done. And she’s now seeing someone who was jailed for raping a colleague so be outraged by that instead of her Facebook relationship status change.


Mike King has taken the top spot of New Zealander Wanker of the Year after saying that alcohol helps with mental health. Honestly just stop and step down you fucking muppet.
Real Life Wife has great chat on why this ISN’T the kōrero if anyone is interested.


Katie Hawkey has joined the chat again with outrage because she let her daughter order strawberries and it turned out to be MULTIPLE strawberries and not just one? Is that right? Because I can’t bring myself to even look at her page to know what her actual issue was with the situation. She’s the worst of them all for posting privilege between Gaza war videos.


Officially Em hasn’t really been mentioned but if I was to hazard a guess I’d say she’s still cosplaying poor (was her Halloween costume someone on a budget with a secretly bulging bank account? Oh no that’s just her every day). I’d also go on to guess that she’s still running around in her undies, still thinks her grub of a husband is lusted after by other women (wrong. Nope. Ick), still spends more time at the beach than she does with her kids, and is still scamming her followers under the umbrella of communityuntil they can no longer afford it and then they’re immediately dropped and forgotten about. Some community


Love From Your Ads recently shared their holiday (yes, another one!) where the kids spent more time in the Kids Club than they did with Dad and Dad. Christian was relieved though because it meant he didn’t have to keep one eye on the kids and one eye on his cocktails. Instead he could use that other eye for people watching and seeing what the weather is doing.


Maria is still up to fuck all with a recent post shared on The Wiggles and the energy of the tree. Something she aspires for, despite making zero effort to put down the literotica and get off her ass.
I’m also not really sure WHY The Wiggles were playing in the house of pre-teen children? Was it on for the kids, on for her, on for Phil, or is she sad enough to seek out their videos to jump on the latest trend (yes I see you Maria. Even your content is lazy considering that’s your job )


Simone Anderson has her own thread.

Boujee Baker Just Jess has her own thread.



That’s all I can think of for now

Happy Snarking!

 

[kiwigal258]

Simone Vs Pebbles is what I'd pay for!!!

 

[Starstruck500]

A girl at my work was sent this reply from the school Molly did makeup at. So they don’t give a fuck.
---
So they aren’t together anymore - she had to go get a Brazilian from some place because she can’t ask Chris to tidy her up any more - but off to a Christmas party together?

I’m parent and have given permission for the school to display photos on their Facebook page and school newsletters of my child.
This permission DOES not extend to social media influencers pages where the following is in the thousands of people not connected to said school. If I was a parent at that school, id be taking that to the Board and MoE.

 

[Blardeblarblar]

Danni thinks she can go running and read books and go to cafes during the day because she doesn't have children. No Danni you can do those things during the day because you don't have a job.

 

[shh77]

Pretty sure he has some sort of “role” at a surf club in Orewa? He is probably the beach flag

 

[stanleycupgal]

Love from your dads is surely trolling us. He can’t be serious?

Firstly coming out as some big advocate for water safety, despite nearly drowning Lulu on the daily

And now….

Posting about the harm of social media on kids?!

Is he actually serious? I know more about his kids and have seen more of them growing up than my own niece and nephews. I know where his kids live, go to school, what they like, what they don’t like, I’ve seen them sleeping, being hurt, being overwhelmed and being excited. I’ve seen them have first days, last days and sick days. I’ve seen Lulu in her underwear, Lulu being bullied about her size, Frankie being vulnerable and being demeaned by his own parents. I can describe their bedrooms, their backyard and what they all had for dinner most nights. I know about their holidays, their plane meltdowns and their tantrums.
In short, every part of their childhood has been exposed and consumed by absolute strangers. Judged, viewed and curated long before they are legally even allowed to have an Instagram account. How fucked is that, they can be stars of their dad’s show, on a platform they are not legally allowed to see.

How can they truely think this is going to play out for his kids. How can they truely think this is going to be positive for his children as they move into teenage years.
For a guy who proclaims to have such a high moral compass, he is either fucking stupid or just doesn’t care.

I see Australis is looking to introduce a law saying kids cant have SM until 16, I think there is some merit here, but truely what we need to see is a law around protecting our children’s privacy and their right to consent to being part of their parents shit shit.

I’ve even seen really great mums like Jana MacPherson say things like ‘I stopped using my kids on SM media ages ago, but now they are old enough to ‘consent and understand’ so I give them a choice - no Jana they are not! They are not mature enough to understand the longer term implications! Kids are likely to say yes, to please their parents, to be famous or to get cool stuff. They aren’t making an informed decision or understanding what they are saying yes too.

Right it’s late, time to get off my soap box and tuck up in bed!

 

[littlekiwi]

Christian talking about water safety might seriously be the most fucked thing I’ve seen on the internet in a long time from these loser Influencers. Shame on the Sleepstore for using one of the most unsafe parents around water to sell their swimwear.

Good message but from the absolute wrong person. Even some of the footage he’s used to highlight the dangers is precisely why he shouldn’t be a spokesperson. The one of Lulu probably aged 1ish falling into the water while he’s on his phone recording is the perfect example.

Also Emilywrites calling out Influencer hauls is perfection

How long will this comment last

 

[ActsOfKindnessIsMyLoveLan]

I can’t with the dust. And the sticker on the table. And the dirty makeup.

I ran here - this looks like a Friday night set up before the pub with your girlies. Everything all grubby because your bronzer broke in your make up bag, and your makeup bags been in your school bag all day because your sleeping over at a mates place tonight. A jagerbomb next to the brushes would complete the experience. Kody just fire emoji reacted to your story. Life is good.

 

[princeasherfromhobby]

Right you lot, I’ve seen 3 of you not blur out your own Instagram/fb pictures on your screenshots in the past day. I’m sick of reporting them to tattle to get them taken down lol buck up your ideas and plz make sure you are checking your screenshots thoroughly before posting them to the group or one of these dummies will catch on and dox you. TIA

 

[hereforfreestuff]

It’s super sad what’s happened to Ellie, but I find it odd to film yourself crying in your car just to post on instagram for content…

 

[iwantthetea2022]

If I’d ‘bought her a coffee’ I’d be pissed this is what the money was going towards

Her next tattoo

 

[SoDevine]

How embarrassing using all your accounts to comment on the post about a new stroller from Edward's & Co.

 

[littlekiwi]

I

I'm this close to messaging the sleep store. Because it's actually really sad they used him..they had sooo many others they could've used lol

I’ll let you know the reply

 

[ilovekmartlikedontweall]

“Them” is not wrong though. Also, might be a Tattler?

 

[UndiesOnFirst]

Imagine going all the way to turkey and spending all that time and money to have this end result

 

[Boatnectar57]

I thought the post above was a joke.
you should have been nervous to post hon, this is atrocious!!

It's giving blonde lord farquaad