Not returning to work after maternity leave.

[Moonstone]

Honestly, I wish I did this with mine. We don’t get proper maternity leave in the US (only about 6-12 weeks, unpaid ‘short term disability’ - same as someone breaking a bone or having a minor surgery), I went back after 10 weeks, lost all of my milk supply, started getting very depressed from being away from my baby, had to juggle childcare which was a disaster, ended up quitting after a couple months after returning to work and it was the best decision for our family. Went back to work once our kid was much older and in school.

 

[Kim Mild]

Update - after being on furlough for a few months, I have been made redundant. I am quite relieved .

 

[Heather343]

I went back to work full time after mat leave but my best friend didn't (our babies were born weeks apart). At first I was jealous but I love work and it was nice doing normal things again. It also caused my friend and her husband alot of arguments. He originally supported her being at home but as time went on it put alot of stress on him being the sole provider and he resented paying for everything and her basically just going to coffee shops and soft plays etc. She ended up going back a few days a week and whilst they were financially much better off after paying child care their relationship was better and she actually felt better for having a break from the baby.

 

[Swipeuplikeandshare]

I don’t know where you are In the world but in the UK it is common place to give notice, at least eight weeks if not returning from maternity leave is reasonable. I take it you’ve actually returned from maternity leave as you’re using annual leave so they will be expecting you to be operational at the end of it so normal notice period applies (unless you can agree an alternative). In terms of not getting paid at present escalate this to your HR contact.

 

[Kim Mild]

Bit of background, I've been at my job for about 5 and a half years. In this time we've been taken over by another company, took year's maternity and cut my hours and had a second year maternity leave.

This is now up and I'm considering not going back.( I don't need to pay anything back if I leave) I've had no communication from them so I don't know what's expected of me ( as procedures are different due to covid) .

I'm supposed to be on my annual leave now, but they haven't paid me . I do feel like just telling them to stick the job.

My husband works full time. His finish times can vary so that makes it difficult for childcare.

I don't know what the point of this post is , it's part rant and part asking for advice.

 

[HumphreyB]

Sometimes the thoughts of going back to work are actually worse than the going back itself.

Just don’t rush into any decisions. Think about it and make sure your both on the same page. Being home full time is not all it’s cracked up to be and being the only person financially supporting the household is a big responsibility which is why it’s important your both on the same page.
Talk through the details. How this will work, expectations of both partners etc.
I found as a family we needed to be far more flexible once our kids went to school. Mine are a little older now and it’s really only since the youngest turned 6/7 it all got so busy. Between work/school and their sports our week is full. Then game time Saturday and Sunday. I work part time now but even with that 2 nights a week my husband has to be on the road by 5 to shuttle to activities and practice. There’s a lot of consider.

 

[Octopies]

I have to say it’s really poor form they’ve not kept in touch with you whilst you’ve been on maternity leave. Even just to check in and let you know how things have changed there.

 

[Mrs Cucumber]

If your not going to loose anything and have the means to live without returning to work then go for it. I was a stay at home mum until my youngest started school and I loved it, meant we never had that juggle of childcare especially when a child was poorly. Good luck with whatever you choose.

 

[Blonde123]

Everyone is different and you have to do what’s best for you. I honestly couldn’t be a stay at home mum. I have so much respect for those who are. As much as I love my children I need to work for my own sanity and it makes me appreciate my time with them more. If you’re worried about not getting another job, maybe try to line one up before you quit. Maybe something that’s a bit better for you ie. closer to home or better hours?

 

[hypoharpy]

If your not going to loose anything and have the means to live without returning to work then go for it. I was a stay at home mum until my youngest started school and I loved it, meant we never had that juggle of childcare especially when a child was poorly. Good luck with whatever you choose.

I didn't go back until my son was 3. I feel that time together created a really strong bond .
As long as you can manage financially I don't think you'll ever regret it.

 

[Belulah]

I’m due my first in a few weeks time and originally wasn’t gonna go back to work after my maternity. I can still think about it and change my mind but we don’t qualify for any benefits really because of my husbands job so basically once my maternity is up I’ll have no money and I’m really independent when it comes to having a wee bit of money so I’m probably gonna go back 2 days a week just so I have pocket money as I don’t like the thought of relying on my husband for money for every wee thing but that’s just me personally. It’s fine if it’s something for the child but I’m talking about wee things like if I want to meet a friend for coffee or whatever I’d rather have my own money or for birthdays or Christmas I’d like to be able to contribute something and not have to ask him. We can get childcare 2 days a week though my mum can take her one day and his mum so will only be back part time. My husband works different shifts every week so he won’t be at home to watch her. If I’d no childcare though it would obviously be a different story and feel like a scrounger saying this but if I was able to claim a bit more on benefits I probably wouldn’t have went back and just got another job when she was a bit older. We only qualify for I think it’s child tax credit which is only like £20 a week. If you can afford it though and don’t have the childcare I wouldn’t be going back they can’t expect you to if you’ve no one to look after them

I think your situation sounds ideal. A couple of days away from baby to get out the house and keep your foot in the door for if you want to go back later and pocket money but no huge childcare costs or leaving baby.

 

[Ticktickmeh]

Talk to your boss/hr/payroll. If you should be paid for your annual leave there was probably a button someone didnt press a form got lost. But also ask them... they might be fine for you to do flexible hours. Wfh still? They might even be hapy to extend your mat leave unpaid (if nothing owing to you) for x time.

At least then you can say not worth and make that leap les scary to take if you dont want to go back.

 

[Ticktickmeh]

Thats ok isn't it? It gives you some extra time to think about what you want?

 

[Kim Mild]

Talk to your boss/hr/payroll. If you should be paid for your annual leave there was probably a button someone didnt press a form got lost. But also ask them... they might be fine for you to do flexible hours. Wfh still? They might even be hapy to extend your mat leave unpaid (if nothing owing to you) for x time.

At least then you can say not worth and make that leap les scary to take if you dont want to go back.

I agree, it is probably down to human error and somebody has just made a mistake.

I did ask to be furloughed, but I couldn't speak to management so I got a colleague to leave a note.

I don’t know where you are In the world but in the UK it is common place to give notice, at least eight weeks if not returning from maternity leave is reasonable. I take it you’ve actually returned from maternity leave as you’re using annual leave so they will be expecting you to be operational at the end of it so normal notice period applies (unless you can agree an alternative). In terms of not getting paid at present escalate this to your HR contact.

Yeah , I'm uk . I added full annual leave onto maternity leave so I was continually away from work . I have had an email confirming holiday.

I definitely feel like they should have discussed returning with me as our opening hours are now different so I wont be able to rock up and do the same as before.

I feel like I've been ghosted .

 

[PinkJen099]

I wish I left before my maternity was up!
Get in touch yourself with HR regarding your pay, don’t wait for a manager to do it.
If your wanting to leave you will need to work a notice. Depending on how long you have to give/holidays you have left you may be able to use holiday for the notice.
And they deffo should have been in touch about returning to you?
Sometimes, you can leave with immediate effect seeing as your ‘off’ anyway and I’m guessing they had someone step in whilst you’ve been on maternity?
Some people generally say I’m leaving with immediate effect and as long as you don’t owe anything not a lot they can say. (Yes it’s not part of the contract etc but it does happen)
Whilst I wish I was in a position to of done this I do enjoy my couple days at work, as I class them as a ‘break’ for me. We all need our own time.
Big decision to make, good luck!

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Update - after being on furlough for a few months, I have been made redundant. I am quite relieved .

Glad to read this - only seen this thread the second time round but having been through this under very different circumstances you can’t describe the relief of it. It’s like an invisible weight has been lifted off your shoulders x

 

[HumphreyB]

I have to say it’s really poor form they’ve not kept in touch with you whilst you’ve been on maternity leave. Even just to check in and let you know how things have changed there.

They cant. The only time a company is allowed make contact is to arrange a return to work chat.

 

[Kim Mild]

If your not going to loose anything and have the means to live without returning to work then go for it. I was a stay at home mum until my youngest started school and I loved it, meant we never had that juggle of childcare especially when a child was poorly. Good luck with whatever you choose.

Childcare costs were the reason I cut my hours after my last maternity .

We get a small amount of tax credits, the online calculator predicts this won't change.

I think choosing to leave of my own accord is a big , scary step.

 

[Kim Mild]

Apparently I am being furloughed as there isn't enough work to have all the staff in . No mention of the wages I was meant to receive in January yet .

 

[Kim Mild]

Thats ok isn't it? It gives you some extra time to think about what you want?

Yeah , I suppose it's ideal for now