Niomi Smart #15 Felt cute, might spread Covid later

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My 94 year old mum spent the night calling for her parents and talking non stop in a panic. She's asleep now. 'Quite an achievement for a Wednesday'. 😏
 
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Wow she must be trolling us, if painting nails on a Wednesday afternoon is an achievement she really has to hurry up and find a rich husband to finally be a trophy wife, she’s not ready for a real world.
And of course this nail polish is gifted what a surprise! She has such a sad life, from one ad to another.
 
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I wonder if Joe read stuff like that and thought, wow she won’t give a BJ because she’s tired herself out painting her nails.

Tone deaf, yet condescending yet again. She has the unique ability to be arrogant and stupid at the same time.
 
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Imagine your day being brightened by a company sending you flowers just to keep you buttered up so you keep pushing their products, in order for them to sell stuff.

instead of by, I don’t know, someone you have a genuine human connection with.

its fascinating to me lol
 
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If a "normal person" with a full-time job they were still doing from home wrote that, it would be funny. When Niomi does it, it's only rubbing in how she had LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE TO DO ALL DAY and no obligations whatsoever.
 
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If a "normal person" with a full-time job they were still doing from home wrote that, it would be funny. When Niomi does it, it's only rubbing in how she had LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE TO DO ALL DAY and no obligations whatsoever.
I really just wonder wtf she does all day, nail painting takes what, 5 minutes? a walk, then some yoga... that is what, about 2 hours? She must be so bored?
 
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I really just wonder wtf she does all day, nail painting takes what, 5 minutes? a walk, then some yoga... that is what, about 2 hours? She must be so bored?
Especially in her own company.🤪👺
 
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I'm sure some people do it more slowly, but when I'm just painting a solid color on my nails (I usually do nail art too) it takes me 20 minutes for both hands, because I switch to painting my right hand while my left hand is still wet. That would be something I did really quickly after dinner, not something that I'd even think to joke about being "an accomplishment." Also with the mascara, many people truly didn't wear makeup for MONTHS this year, but influencers like her have been wearing makeup regularly for videos and other content. It shouldn't be that noteworthy in her mind that she put on some mascara, but she's trying to make "relatable" jokes that aren't even funny to her.
 
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It's a puzzle how the influencers are all so bad at doing their own pr. They used to mingle with prs yet have picked up nothing. She could be doing a recipie a day from eatsmart. Still could be doing her smart skin stuff if she must.

With influencers it still seems to be full steam ahead with getting their viewers to buy buy buy. You're stuck at home? Buy loungewear coz your old stuff won't cut it, new pricey make up so you look cute in zoom, a coffee machine as you're not going out and a new TV for the same reasons! use my links.

Who is advising her? Why can't she see any if this for herself?
 
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I really just wonder wtf she does all day, nail painting takes what, 5 minutes? a walk, then some yoga... that is what, about 2 hours? She must be so bored?
- Gets up
- Goes on a run or has a home yoga session
- Smoothie bowl time (or sorry, is it porridge bowl weather now?)
- Does some morning skincare and makeup (but forgets the sunscreen apparently)
- Opens a bunch of PR packages
- Takes pictures of the freebies for her stories (gotta tag these brands!)
- Reads some Whatsapp messages and has a "festive" freakout about the 45 mins worth of work she's going to need to do at some point this week
- Spends an hour homecooking the saddest looking lunch ever (maybe some boiled asparagus with a bunless plant-based burger patty)
- Pops by the shops to buy some "essentials" (two or three notepads)
- Spends another hour giving her hair some "natural waves" with a flat iron
- Takes a bunch of selfies for the grid
- Goes on a long walk with the dog
- Time to cook up another meal (roasted veg perhaps? also make sure to throw some nutritional yeast somewhere in there)
- Another yoga session
- Evening skincare
- In bed by 9 PM

Quite the achievement!
 
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I just saw that and came here to comment on it. Is she a full time troll by this point? I don't understand how else anyone would think that's a funny/witty/remotely okay thing to say in the middle of a pandemic, a third lockdown for the UK, etc.

ETA the screenshot: She really does love herself, look at her facial expression, thinking she's so damn precious, when really, she's a tone-deaf idiot. View attachment 387322
Niomi forgot to mention she also put a beauty filter on the picture before uploading it to IG.
 
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You’re all so right. And the worst part is, it’s not even just that she isn’t entertaining her followers with this content. She clearly isn’t even able to entertain herself.
 
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She seems like the type of girl that would have one glass of wine and feel out of control so resorts to water and forces her bf to go home before 10pm with her
Also I’m new to the whole relationship breakdown, I only realised I followed her when she popped up on my feed and I wondered who it was, what happened there?
 
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She is infuriating. By the way, I have that mascara and it sucks. Clumpy, messy and the wand is the strangest, most difficult one to use that I’ve tried. Just a warning to you all not to be influenced like I was :LOL:
 
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- Gets up
- Goes on a run or has a home yoga session
- Smoothie bowl time (or sorry, is it porridge bowl weather now?)
- Does some morning skincare and makeup (but forgets the sunscreen apparently)
- Opens a bunch of PR packages
- Takes pictures of the freebies for her stories (gotta tag these brands!)
- Reads some Whatsapp messages and has a "festive" freakout about the 45 mins worth of work she's going to need to do at some point this week
- Spends an hour homecooking the saddest looking lunch ever (maybe some boiled asparagus with a bunless plant-based burger patty)
- Pops by the shops to buy some "essentials" (two or three notepads)
- Spends another hour giving her hair some "natural waves" with a flat iron
- Takes a bunch of selfies for the grid
- Goes on a long walk with the dog
- Time to cook up another meal (roasted veg perhaps? also make sure to throw some nutritional yeast somewhere in there)
- Another yoga session
- Evening skincare
- In bed by 9 PM

Quite the achievement!
- Eye fucks herself in the mirror x 10
- Stalks Joe on Insta
- Write some kind of vague 🧚‍♂️dreamy✨ insta caption
 
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