New Job Support

[hashbrown123]

Hi,

just wondering if anyone has any words of wisdom as I’m feeling a little lost. I suffer massively from the fear of disappointing people as a bit of context so don’t always think through decisions enough at the time and kick myself after!

I’ve been doing a masters degree the last year (still got my dissertation to do) and am really interested in the subject. I got a full time graduate job which I started a few weeks ago leaving a job I’ve worked in for many years, but I am just not sure about it for several reasons. Feel like it’s managed through fear, there’s not loads of support and management unapproachable. As well as being a long commute having to leave at 8 and getting home at 6 and sit in traffic.


it’s not at the point where I hate it and I’m getting upset but I am unsure if it might get there, i do dread going, do I stick it out for a bit longer? Is it too early to be making these decisions? any advice for new job starters or stories that may help reassure me it’s going to be okay? (Or not okay?)

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Hi,

just wondering if anyone has any words of wisdom as I’m feeling a little lost. I suffer massively from the fear of disappointing people as a bit of context so don’t always think through decisions enough at the time and kick myself after!

I’ve been doing a masters degree the last year (still got my dissertation to do) and am really interested in the subject. I got a full time graduate job which I started a few weeks ago leaving a job I’ve worked in for many years, but I am just not sure about it for several reasons. Feel like it’s managed through fear, there’s not loads of support and management unapproachable. As well as being a long commute having to leave at 8 and getting home at 6 and sit in traffic.


it’s not at the point where I hate it and I’m getting upset but I am unsure if it might get there, i do dread going, do I stick it out for a bit longer? Is it too early to be making these decisions? any advice for new job starters or stories that may help reassure me it’s going to be okay? (Or not okay?)

I think it’s too early to be thinking of leaving. You need to give it time, say at least 6 months before you are fully settled in. Sometimes it does just take time for you to warm up to a job and the new people and the same for those you work with. I’m guessing your old job was somewhere you’ve felt very comfortable, knew everyone etc

what do you mean when you say it’s managed by fear? And that management are not approachable??

Also - leaving home at 8am for work and getting home for 6pm really isn’t a long commute at all - it’s actually very normal!!! Infact, if you are home by 6 every night, that’s really early!!!

 

[BigMavis]

My advice was going to be speak to management but I see they're not very approachable. They absolutely should be though especially to a new employee as these sorts of issues are very normal.
Sometimes it can be difficult to adjust to a new working environment but it may settle.

And also remember you would not have got the position if they didn't think you were up to the task.
Employers want the best candidate as rehiring is a ball ache.

 

[hashbrown123]

I think it’s too early to be thinking of leaving. You need to give it time, say at least 6 months before you are fully settled in. Sometimes it does just take time for you to warm up to a job and the new people and the same for those you work with. I’m guessing your old job was somewhere you’ve felt very comfortable, knew everyone etc

what do you mean when you say it’s managed by fear? And that management are not approachable??

Also - leaving home at 8am for work and getting home for 6pm really isn’t a long commute at all - it’s actually very normal!!! Infact, if you are home by 6 every night, that’s really early!!!

I think you’re right - think I’ve allowed myself to get into my own head really it is too soon. A lot of the issue was the fact that my old job was the only career I’ve had I haven’t worked anywhere else other than weekend jobs! So don’t really know anything else.

In terms of being managed by fear - feels as if the response to having done anything wrong or if you’re unsure of what you’re doing is to be scared to speak up and try and avoid the both, feels like the response to both is quite hostile from management.

The commute thing does bother me but I recognise I’m in the luckier side of most, but again I’ve come from a 15-20 mins commute time with no traffic. I think I’ll just have to give it time and reassess when it’s been a bit longer and I have more to go off. Thank you for taking the time to reply to me and giving me some clarity!!

My advice was going to be speak to management but I see they're not very approachable. They absolutely should be though especially to a new employee as these sorts of issues are very normal.
Sometimes it can be difficult to adjust to a new working environment but it may settle.

And also remember you would not have got the position if they didn't think you were up to the task.
Employers want the best candidate as rehiring is a ball ache.

I’ll give it a bit more time, hopefully as I get more comfortable I’ll also be a bit braver to approach as like you say they really should be approachable. Or how can they expect things to not get hidden/brushed under the carpet and coming back to bite them. Thank you for your reassurance I really appreciate it!!

 

[BigMavis]

You're welcome. Good luck with your dissertation, having that hanging over you could be adding to your stress. Remember everyone takes time to adjust its not an age thing. If it doesn't settle for you, communicate, if its easier to put it into writing do so.

 

[hashbrown123]

You're welcome. Good luck with your dissertation, having that hanging over you could be adding to your stress. Remember everyone takes time to adjust its not an age thing. If it doesn't settle for you, communicate, if its easier to put it into writing do so.

Aw thank you. Definitely don’t think it helps- it’s the next priority to get that done! Thank you I will

 

[Captainmouse]

I think it’s too early to be thinking of leaving. You need to give it time, say at least 6 months before you are fully settled in. Sometimes it does just take time for you to warm up to a job and the new people and the same for those you work with. I’m guessing your old job was somewhere you’ve felt very comfortable, knew everyone etc

what do you mean when you say it’s managed by fear? And that management are not approachable??

Also - leaving home at 8am for work and getting home for 6pm really isn’t a long commute at all - it’s actually very normal!!! Infact, if you are home by 6 every night, that’s really early!!!

If your leaving at 8 that’s really late.

 

[hashbrown123]

If your leaving at 8 that’s really late.

Yes I recognise it’s probably a good situation compared to others- but for my whole working career so far I’ve never had to commute or had traffic, it was just a 15 min drive so very new situation for me!

 

[Keikochan]

I also agree you should stick it out for longer, 6 months to a year then reassess.
I've worked a few jobs were managers rule with fear. It's pathetic. They obviously just want to feel powerful cos they don't have control elsewhere in their life & they have so much anger. They shouldn't be taking that out on anyone & shouldn't be managing people. My advise is to keep calm & speak with confidence. If you have to ask a question, do so straight forwardly. You know your job & how to do it. You were hired bc of that.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

It’s always difficult to go from being an ‘old hand’ to being the newbie. But it is still early days. Maybe set yourself 6 months to see how you’re doing? It’ll take that long to not compare everything to your previous job (that’s not a criticism at all, I would be exactly the same

The being scared to speak up, is that your experience there or is it the vibe you’re picking up from your colleagues?

The fact that it’s an area you’re interested in and you’ve been recruited in that field, I would say stick at it

 

[hashbrown123]

I also agree you should stick it out for longer, 6 months to a year then reassess.
I've worked a few jobs were managers rule with fear. It's pathetic. They obviously just want to feel powerful cos they don't have control elsewhere in their life & they have so much anger. They shouldn't be taking that out on anyone & shouldn't be managing people. My advise is to keep calm & speak with confidence. If you have to ask a question, do so straight forwardly. You know your job & how to do it. You were hired bc of that.

You’re so right. It’s a shame people treat others that way! I will thank you- it’s not easy but I’m going to really focus on not letting it get to me. I have to remember that it is a job and there’s many more aspects of life that are more important! (Not that it’s easy but I’m going to really try!!)

It’s always difficult to go from being an ‘old hand’ to being the newbie. But it is still early days. Maybe set yourself 6 months to see how you’re doing? It’ll take that long to not compare everything to your previous job (that’s not a criticism at all, I would be exactly the same

The being scared to speak up, is that your experience there or is it the vibe you’re picking up from your colleagues?

The fact that it’s an area you’re interested in and you’ve been recruited in that field, I would say stick at it

I think you’re right with 6 months that’s what I’m going for initially because I am comparing it big time too! (Glad it’s not just me haha). It started off as a vibe then has slowly been more and more confirmed from my own interactions with them! Fingers crossed I’m proven wrong but 6 months wouldn’t hurt at the very least to give it a fair chance- thank you for your reply I really appreciate it

 

[lozzapaloozza]

Bumping this thread to see if there’s anyone else struggling with the anxiety of a new job