Need to stop feeling so broody!

[Youre a wizard Harry]

I am 27, married for a year and I want to have a baby so much. I’ve had times in the past where I have felt broody but the thought of childbirth and actually bringing up a child would put a stop to it. This feels completely different now. I can’t stop thinking about it, I even have moments where I’m in a situation and think about what it would be like if the baby was there, what it would be doing. But my husband has said he doesn’t want kids until we have bought a house (which is probably about 4/5 years away by the time we save for a deposit) and is very insistent. Although I haven’t told him how I feel at the moment.
I have the implant which is due to be removed in November and I want it taken out now anyway and go back to taking the pill as I’m having periods every 2 weeks
There’s a part of me which knows now isn’t a good time because of COVID, and my husband is being sensible as saving for a deposit for a house would be a lot harder.
I’m not really sure why I’m writing this but needed to vent thanks for reading xx

 

[HoGi]

I have felt similar over the years. I too often imagine walking down the road holding hands with my "child" or sitting on the sofa cuddling them. I'm 31, married for 6 years, and owned our house for nearly 3 years. But money and time has never been right for us.

But I see so many people younger than me having kids and I get a bit upset even though i know having a child now would be disastrous.

I lost my dad last year too and I really struggled with the fact he would never meet my kids

 

[BoxedGinger]

oh girls. I’m sorry you both feel like this. But just a bit of reassurance..... my baby wasn’t planned and he’s the best think that could of happened to us. We’d been together 2 year and we’re saving to move in together and it just happened and we had to make do with our situation. Which wasn’t a bad one. We just got a smaller house than we were hoping and sooner than we’d of liked but we’re 5 year on and planning our next baby. Still in the same flat we were in when we had our son. Covid has stopped us having another at the min as the drs can’t take my implant out as they’re not doing face to face bone emergency appointments yet.
There’s no perfect time for a baby I believe. We’ve been putting the second off for a couple of year really wanting to move etc and before Christmas I just thought bugger it, I’ll get my implant out after Christmas then all this started so I’m kicking my self now wishing I’d of just done it.
Talk to your hubbies explain how you feel don’t hold it in or it will eat away at you and you might end up resenting them xx

 

[HoGi]

oh girls. I’m sorry you both feel like this. But just a bit of reassurance..... my baby wasn’t planned and he’s the best think that could of happened to us. We’d been together 2 year and we’re saving to move in together and it just happened and we had to make do with our situation. Which wasn’t a bad one. We just got a smaller house than we were hoping and sooner than we’d of liked but we’re 5 year on and planning our next baby. Still in the same flat we were in when we had our son. Covid has stopped us having another at the min as the drs can’t take my implant out as they’re not doing face to face bone emergency appointments yet.
There’s no perfect time for a baby I believe. We’ve been putting the second off for a couple of year really wanting to move etc and before Christmas I just thought bugger it, I’ll get my implant out after Christmas then all this started so I’m kicking my self now wishing I’d of just done it.
Talk to your hubbies explain how you feel don’t hold it in or it will eat away at you and you might end up resenting them xx

We have had a couple of conversations and we are both on the same page, I just wonder "what if" probably more than I should.

We are going to start trying next year after we refix our mortgage, hopefully at a good rate for 5 years

I think part of my problem is I never wanted to be an "old" mum as my parents were well into their 40s when they had me and I'm the oldest! I know I'm only 31 but I feel the older I get the less I will be willing to give up my lifestyle.

 

[Youre a wizard Harry]

I have felt similar over the years. I too often imagine walking down the road holding hands with my "child" or sitting on the sofa cuddling them. I'm 31, married for 6 years, and owned our house for nearly 3 years. But money and time has never been right for us.

But I see so many people younger than me having kids and I get a bit upset even though i know having a child now would be disastrous.

I lost my dad last year too and I really struggled with the fact he would never meet my kids

Sorry for your loss I can’t imagine how difficult that is to come to terms with

 

[HoGi]

Sorry for your loss I can’t imagine how difficult that is to come to terms with

Thank you xx

 

[Youre a wizard Harry]

oh girls. I’m sorry you both feel like this. But just a bit of reassurance..... my baby wasn’t planned and he’s the best think that could of happened to us. We’d been together 2 year and we’re saving to move in together and it just happened and we had to make do with our situation. Which wasn’t a bad one. We just got a smaller house than we were hoping and sooner than we’d of liked but we’re 5 year on and planning our next baby. Still in the same flat we were in when we had our son. Covid has stopped us having another at the min as the drs can’t take my implant out as they’re not doing face to face bone emergency appointments yet.
There’s no perfect time for a baby I believe. We’ve been putting the second off for a couple of year really wanting to move etc and before Christmas I just thought bugger it, I’ll get my implant out after Christmas then all this started so I’m kicking my self now wishing I’d of just done it.
Talk to your hubbies explain how you feel don’t hold it in or it will eat away at you and you might end up resenting them xx

Thank you for your response . I’m going to talk to him when I know when I will be able to have my implant taken out and have a timescale I can work towards. I think COVID and lockdown has made me realise what is important to me.

 

[HoGi]

Thank you for your response . I’m going to talk to him when I know when I will be able to have my implant taken out and have a timescale I can work towards. I think COVID and lockdown has made me realise what is important to me.

Honesty is definitely the best policy. I think my hubby was worried I wanted them right now and when we had a frank conversation we realised we are on the same page and set some timescales to work towards etc.

Doesn't stop me looking and babies and getting gooey though!

 

[Pixipoppy]

Spend some time with small children or just go to a shopping centre on a Saturday morning (maybe not at the moment). That will soon cure your broodiness! Also talk to people who recently had kids - they will tell you all sorts of horrifying tales that will put you off for life!!

In all seriousness though I do envy you slightly - the older I get the less I want a child. I used to be a bit more like you but the closer I came to actually having a kid the worse the idea sounded! Now I literally can’t think of anything worse than having a baby.... but my partner still wants 3... hmmmm.

You’re still so young I don’t see the harm in waiting a couple more years? There’s so much more to see and do in life before settling down - you want to be financial stable and not regret having a baby too early in the future.

 

[allforthegram]

I am 27, married for a year and I want to have a baby so much. I’ve had times in the past where I have felt broody but the thought of childbirth and actually bringing up a child would put a stop to it. This feels completely different now. I can’t stop thinking about it, I even have moments where I’m in a situation and think about what it would be like if the baby was there, what it would be doing. But my husband has said he doesn’t want kids until we have bought a house (which is probably about 4/5 years away by the time we save for a deposit) and is very insistent. Although I haven’t told him how I feel at the moment.
I have the implant which is due to be removed in November and I want it taken out now anyway and go back to taking the pill as I’m having periods every 2 weeks
There’s a part of me which knows now isn’t a good time because of COVID, and my husband is being sensible as saving for a deposit for a house would be a lot harder.
I’m not really sure why I’m writing this but needed to vent thanks for reading xx

Sometimes it just helps to get it off your chest especially in a place like this where we are all anonymous, I see both sides of your predicament I completely understand how you feel, but I can also see where your husband is coming from, if you have your own house your setting up for your own little nest.
my husband and I have had our house for almost 5 years married just over 1,Even though we Had our own house we were finding that every moment ‘wasn’t the right time’ There was always something else that was going to swallow up the money. We had a bit of a surprise during lockdown and 2 are becoming 3.
I think what I’m trying to say Is sit down and talk to your husband Tell him how you feel, listen to how he feels. Voice your concerns and listen to his, but there will always be something to make it ‘not the right time’ so do what you need to do girl!!
Good luck x

 

[Suzesnooze]

Our first baby was unplanned and happened a few months after we had bought our first house and back then you didn't get a years maternity leave so there was a lot of stress about money and how to pay the mortgage then the cost of childcare when I returned to work but we managed. When I was pregnant with my second 'planned' baby, I took redundancy then was a SAHM for years and had a third baby. We just made sacrifices along the way. We don't holiday abroad and we have an old banger for a car but I like to think our kids are happy and haven't missed out. We don't have any debt and will pay our mortgage off this year.

However, I do understand your husband thinking you should own your own house first and it's harder now for young people to get on the property ladder but I think you should tell him how broody you are feeling.

 

[Bec3007]

I can’t understand the broody side but just to give a different perspective on things. I had my son at 22. Now at almost 25 we are looking to buy a house. I’ve also been a SAHM the whole time. A baby doesn’t always put a stop to these things or even slow them down. It’s very much doable if you’re good with money and bills. There will never be a right time for having children and a bought house doesn’t mean it’ll be any easier. X

 

[HoneyBee29]

I got married September last year and we’ve been together nearly 8 years and have wanted kids for a while we both have always talked about having kids from we first got together but weren’t in any rush. We are currently in the middle of saving for a house and I came off birth control in January of this year. I was on the pill and had been on it from I was 21 I’m currently 29 and I just no longer wanted to be on birth control and had planned on just using a different form of protection for a while. At first we had decided to save for a house then have kids later but the last few months our opinions have kind of changed, we aren’t actively trying to have a baby but we aren’t preventing it either we’re more just in the frame of mind of letting nature take its course and if it happens it happens. Many people I have talked to that have kids tell me there is never a ‘right time’ to have kids and you can’t really ‘plan’ it. We would like to have at least two I don’t feel under pressure to have them right now but we’re now just like whatever happens, happens. As long as the child is being cared for is loved and looked after it doesn’t matter whether you live in a bought house or are renting. I used to be put off having kids as well as people had pretty much made out once you’ve kids your life is over you can’t do things you did previously which you defiantly can it’s just different because you’ve a child to think about. Being a parent and having a child won’t be easy but many have told me how amazing and rewarding it is and any child is a blessing

 

[Mrs McCarthy]

We got married September last year as well, and I feel really broody!
we have been in a long distance relationship for a long time and hubby wants us to have some time for ourselves and enjoy life before we get dogs and kids (or kids and dogs!) And my rational side agrees with him, this is the wrong time because of job security, money, etc, but I just really want a baby. Or a puppy at least