Will have to read this thread properly. Just wanted to add I’ve found the videos of
Dr Ramani and Lisa Romano on YouTube a huge help! I’m doing therapy but can’t talk about much stuff because the focus is on me and not my mother, but I watch videos on the gaslighting/“crazy-making” and trauma bonding in childhood. It’s incredible. I have a narcissistic ex hence the reason for watching this stuff but have ended up looking at my childhood again because I believe my mum is a covert narcissist.
Re the silent treatment, my mum would always say “
I’m finished with you” and ignore me for up to a week or longer, as a small child. I have Aspergers that was diagnosed in adulthood so you could imagine how literal I’d take it. She’d get my stepdad to ignore me in the house, too. Talk about walking on eggshells.
She called me, hysterical and drunk, a fortnight ago because my SIL (I don’t speak to any family) said she’d be there at 4:30pm. It was 4:45pm so she put their stuff on the step, locked up and was going to bed. I told her she was being unreasonable and she screamed about everyone treating her like crap and hung up. I had to call 111 due to her history but SIL turned up and her grandson was upset in the background. Two days later she text she was very worried about
me, brushing over her outburst. I called her and said I’m not able to deal with her issues. She got offended I’d established a boundary.
Called her again the next day about Mare of Easttown to check her mood, she spent 5 minutes viscerally ranting about how small towns are horrible and the people are all bastards
so I shortened the call because I could feel my energy depleting. She’s not text or called since then, as usual, she is waiting for me to. Probably carrying out another smear campaign with anyone who will listen. Anyway, I empathise with everyone who has to deal with a narcissist in any capacity.