Coffee Moaning for Wednesday, hump day
. Before you know it, it will be Friday. The title is "Weather moaning, BAN smoking Lloyd Webber risks jail, ketchup and Crazy G7 Art."
Okay, I have had to load the bloody page twice because it was telling me it was taken down. There is Nads and Laughing Boy.
They are asking if we can see them. YES! Nads does the newbie spiel. Apparently they were doing a song and danced and no one saw it because of the technical difficulties. Every cloud eh?
So they show us the sculpture, come ornament, come dust collector that some of the subs cobbled their money together to get N&M for their anniversay. I don't know what the medium is, but it has 2 hearts. Even Moodie said it was a good piece, so I guess the subs will be thrilled. "We love it, we are just looking for the right place to put it, it's so beautiful." (They haven't found a place for their YouTube sub thingy and that has been over a year!) Mark says they have thanked everyone elsewhere. (Is this true? Come on Tattle Detectives!
) ESP talk about what Mark is thinking about. (I wouldn't go in his mind, I might pick up an STD or something.
) Nads has a word for those who gave Mark a jar of Nutella. NAUGHTY! It is one of those personalized Nutella jars. Nads says he should put it up on his shelf as a reminder to never eat a whole Nutella jar again. (Even in the throws of PMS I still wouldn't eat a whole jar of Nutella.) Ruth is driving back from Cornwall. They are well jell.
Guess what? More condiment chat, but Claire and Ella get thanks for a box of
crap bits and bobs. Mark says not to apologize for spelling as they have family members with dyslexia too.
How many ailments does one family have? Sharon O'Keefe gets a SHAWT OAWT. Sharona asking about stuff she has sent. (Have they cleared out the PO box recently or closed it?) Happy birthday Anne Blatt. Just when you thought they were going to talk about condiments, no. They are talking about Tommy Cooper, Mark is wearing the t-shirt. Who liked him, who remember's him and are you too young? (My sib was watching him with our Nana when he dropped dead on live TV
) "He was my kind of magician" says Mark. Now Les Dawson. They both loved Les Dawson. "Yes my yoga pants did arrive!" Ava has a birthday and gave birth yesterday. Nads is so thrilled for her. Nads asks if they are talking about ketchup. Mark says later, there needs to be a build-up.
No they didn't see Gogglebox.
Weather chat. Nads says Brits moan when it isn't sunny and then moan when it is too hot. (Summer is always hazy, hot and humid where I am.) Nads says we should embrace it.
Thanks mother earth. Prof. Mark says that Brits as a race,
, as a people need something in common to talk about, to connect with others. Mark says with Europeans its family, as does Nads' Middle Eastern family. Nads figures the weather talk is OTT, because what we really want to say is my husband is driving me mad and I don't know what to do. Mark:"Why did you choose that as an example? Nads: "Because I knew that you would go 'Why did you choose that as an example' in a really paranoid fashion."
Many a true word is spoken in jest. Someone reference the exercise routine from last night's Hometime. They only did it the once, because Nadia 1 series commission Sawalha. Nadia said as an instruction Mark was "quite rubbish."
Nadia said he wasn't encouraging. Mark said after the first exercise she said she was bored. Nads was expecting a bit of JOE WIIIIICCKKSS! Someone says Mark teaching Nadia anything is a recipe for disaster. Nads says that is a good title for a series.
Mark goes down media memory lane about a pilot with Nads in called Hard Graft. Nads was a manageress in a pub in Wandsworth. Nads says find it and put it on the channel. She didn't like having the keys. Back to the weather chat, someone suggests with Mark sorting out his mental health, he might start liking the sun. Nads hopes so "I've had 16 years of him going 'Oh God'." Mark:"I like the sun where it's meant to be."
(It's in the sky, what more do you want? What does that even mean? He's so dense.) Oh get this, the sun in morning reminds him of having a hangover. "But you haven't got a
bleeping hangover!" says Nads. She tells him to let go, he hasn't had a drink in 16 years allegedly. "
You know this morning what he said to me? 'You know about this weather, you wake-up and you go urgh' Yeah, but you're NOT HUNG OVER, so get out of bed, it's sunny and go in the garden and you will feel better." Mark has this expression on his face of yeah yeah I know, I don't want to hear it. (He should consider himself lucky he has a garden he can stand his feet on grass and what not.) Anne says the sun is intimidating.
What? Does it menace you for money or something? Mark being a dick, saying that Nads is a half full person, I think he means glass. I swear he enjoys being miserable. Starts bitching about the sun has got its hat on song. Nads starts singing.
Someone
witches about the sun giving them hayfever?
What is with these people? Patrick has hay fever. Rachel tells them they need to go for a walk. Newsflash! Nadia spent the past 3 days cleaning out the hot tub, which she makes a cold tub in the summer. MPs want to raise the age of coffin nails from 18 to 21, do you think they should? (21 is a bit old. In my province it is 19, because that is the legal drinking age. Cigarettes and Alcohol, am I right?
) Mark and Nadia thought the age was 16. Okay 1. Have you been under a rock and 2. Is that what Maddie told you? Talk about smoking ban. Nads says what about alcohol? Nads said she did her heaviest drinking at 14!?! (I can see her now, being one of those narsty teens smoking and boozing in the kiddie park after hours.) Mark talks about moving from drinking to smoking. Leggy Blonde is a smoker and wants to be left alone. Mark and Nads say how they both smoked and Nads LOVED smoking. Eww. "I still miss it." Nads says she doesn't judge people who smoke and is actually jealous when she sees someone smoking a fag.
In the same breath she says she looks at them and is grateful she doesn't have the worry of it. In case you were wondering, Mark hasn't taken Maddie to the pub yet because, you know, MENTAL CRISIS.
Deep scalp scratching from Nads.
Mark says this is a great story.
Andrew Lloyd Webber "who I have had the privilege of interviewing twice" says Mark and talks about how sharp he is. (But did he ever meet him in a lift?
) If they extend the June 21st deadline, he will sell tickets regardless. Nads says he won't do well in prison. ALW says come and arrest us. Nads says what does he mean by us? "Who else is he offering up to be arrested?"
Elizabeth says he will be eaten alive. Mark says ALW has mortgaged his home for the theatres. They won't read out what Jane has said so I will.
Jane Dolby says i've heard he is well-endowed, his cell mate Bubba will think it's his birthday. Shannon got her job thanks to the advice from Nads she got the job she wanted, so Nads can be useful. Todd the Bunny was diagnosed with PTSD and is not agoraphobic.
Ketchup, in the fridge or out. Nads keeps it in the fridge, but hates it cold. Vicki says the bottle is to put it in the fridge after opening. Postman is here! Someone says the ketchup is supposed to be thrown out after 8 weeks. Nads says bollocks and I have to agree here. Who does that? Second question: Glass or plastic bottle? (Prefer glass, but really don't care.) Mark says there is a number on the Heinz bottle that serves as a marker to when you hit the bottom of a glass bottle to dislodge the ketchup. (I checked and unfortunately Mark is right.) Argument ensues over the bottle thingy. Nads says he is making it up and he is being annoying. They ask why 57, that is because Heinz had 57 different products.
Nads wants to know the weirdest thing you put ketchup on. Nads says a friend in primary school would put ketchup on iced buns. Eww. She is in a fit of laughter and she says she was going to run away and make a cheese and ketchup sandwich. They talk about drinking with friends in their teens and 20s and then suddenly running away. Paul has ketchup on a pot noodle. Nads wants to know if someone puts ketchup on their pizza. Eww. Another's son puts it in their milkshake at McDonald's.
Mark liked ketchup as a boy, but not now. HIT THE THUMBS UP. Elizabeth says on biscuits. Jane Dolby has never had ketchup or salad creme. Weird. (I put ketchup on mac and cheese.) Mark says how KP crisps did a tomato ketchup flavour. (Ketchup flavoured chips are de rigueur in Canada) Katie's nephew would put ketchup on dry Rice Krispies.
My stomach.
Nads has never had anything other than Heinz. (Heinz is banned in our household, see a previous post on that one.)
Sachets of ketchup. "Hate them. Why are they so fuckin small?" says Nads. Deborah rolls the sachet to get it out. Sandra demands an HP sauce convo. Mark mentions piccalilli and that the last time he saw something that looked like it, was in Kiki's nappy.
"Why do you always have to be so disgusting? Why do you always have to be a 7-year-old child." Nads is excited to tell us her brown sauce story tomorrow and says she has got to go. Mark mentions Mt. Recycle More as he adjusts the camera. Buffering and potato quality picture. All the G7 leaders made out of electrical waste. Nads tells us it is "very ,very clever, but an utter eyesore." They are trying to ID the leaders and doing miserably. They ID Trudeau as the Spanish leader, even though Spain is NOT a G7 country.
Nads says she wouldn't be able to id the Spanish leader if he hit her with a wet kipper. In case you want to know, the original recipe for ketchup had egg whites, mushrooms, oysters, grapes, mussels, amongst other ingredients. Talk of Worcestshire sauce and how Nads can't say it. Faith mentions the tomato shaped ketchup bottles. Nads remembers the very first time she held one of those at Wimpy's and she couldn't believe it. Nads is lamentiing about her children's experiences, they have never had anything rare.
Not even a steak? Sarah Eliot says macaroni and cheese with ketchup and Nads says YES, YES, YES!
COAMP is landing Friday regarding privacy with your kids. LOTS OF LOVE, HIT THE SUBSCRIBE AND NOTIFICATION BELL! SWIMMING WITH THE COUSINS MEL W. HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMILY LEWIS. GROUP HUG FOR XANDER. BYEEEE! I am going to have a strawberry and kefir popsicle now. Later all!