Porn is grand and normal so long as it doesn't interfere with the relationship or someone depends on it ! Omg celebs ? Haha ewMassive no from me too. Interested what people think to their partners / husbands watching porn? Or searching celebs in raunchy underwear obviously for their wank bank during time of the month?
The women in those films are human beings who are most of the time abused (and often not even paid) so there’s nothing normal in that. You should perhaps research the realities of the industry.
I know the realities of the porn industry. A few of my patients where in porn. I'm just saying it isn't cheating to watch porn not getting into the Morales
If “a few of your patients were in porn” then I assume you would have a pretty good insight into mental health consequences most women in porn and prostitution suffer in the course of the career that has a higher incidence of ptsd than even front line combat veterans. So my reply to you was not about “Morales” but about your claim that porn is “grand and normal” which it isn’t. And cheating or no cheating, any man who can consume such material on a regular basis risks losing empathy toward women, including his own partner, which is one of the reasons most women are uncomfortable with it, Anyway, I can usually spot a colleague from a mile off and something isn’t quite right here. Go well IrishGryffindor
I have to deal with lots of different types of situations and people daily. I'm working a 50 hour week atm. I know on a whole porn is bad and yes as an industry it's dangerous for women. I'm saying I'm speaking of it lightly cause a man masturbating to porn isn't cheating and it's a normal thing to do. That's what I meant that I'm not getting into the Morales of it online on a gossip forum ! Feel free to message me if you want to talk about it likeIf “a few of your patients were in porn” then I assume you would have a pretty good insight into mental health consequences most women in porn and prostitution suffer in the course of the career that has a higher incidence of ptsd than even front line combat veterans. So my reply to you was not about “Morales” but about your claim that porn is “grand and normal” which it isn’t. And cheating or no cheating, any man who can consume such material on a regular basis risks losing empathy toward women, including his own partner, which is one of the reasons most women are uncomfortable with it, Anyway, I can usually spot a colleague from a mile off and something isn’t quite right here. Go well IrishGryffindor
just adding I'm no prude. I've fucked myself on webcams to multiple dildos without being exploited. I feel sick with myself now for doing that (years ago) and I made that decision based on my own free will, so I can only imagine what some of the previously exploited women who didn't consent/consented out of desperation must feel.Ok Christ this is a gossip forum. I look on here when I'm on my breaks and I don't check my spelling my phone broke 2 months ago and I have my dad's old phone which is like a Samsung 5 and is shite! I havent had time cause of work to get a new one and actually most of my mates who are doctors too have shite spelling.I hate the idea that "porn is normal"! No it isn't!!
It's exploitave of ALL women. It's an industry that despises women. It's desensitized so many people (men and women) to intimate relationships and sex.
I'm sorry, I don't believe for one second you're a doctor with "patients who've worked in that industry"...whether you're discussing "morales" (I'm guessing morals?) or not.
There's no way in hell a doctor of any kind could be ignorant to the deeper, underlying issues of that industry to just come out and say its all OK. What about the physical damage done to the women's bodies? The mental health damage? The way thousands of men and women have a warped sense of reality of sexual behaviours due to the porn industry.
I have friends who have been married, now divorced and have dipped back into the dating scene. Sometimes on their first sexual encounter with their new found lover, they are having their hair pulled by men or being choked by men who thing 'all women love this' in sex. Erm.....porn has educated them wrongly. Either that or they're being pounded like a jackhammer on steroids.
Porn is showing men having unprotected sex with women, putting their dicks into one women then another....or a vagina then an anus then back to the vagina, or even the mouth. The health risks that come with that have consequences, is that still "all grand"?
Porn is giving a false reality to impressionable young and old adults (breaks my heart, but even children). It's sterile, aggressive and degrading. I know women who work in porn and will say "oh I love working as an actress in this industry" to then turn around five-ten years later to confess she'd been bullied into that admission, or she was so drugged up she didn't realise how deeply embedded into something so grim she was. Or she will turn around and say how she now realises she was exploited. Porn stars who've once claimed to love the industry have contacted the press and the police years later to report incidents of work related rape, only to be laughed at. How the heck do you think that would make them feel? Belittled? Unbelieved. Worthless.
So people who claim the "women are consenting" so it's all good, really need to look at the bigger picture, because consent really isn't black and white. Of course I'd say yes to making a quick dollar for having sex on camera if I was so desperate, be it for food for my children or drugs if I was an addict, but that consent would come from desperation, not a desire or free choice. Needless to say, the majority of the poor women in this industry are reliant on drugs. Usually to get them through the physical and mental pain of performing. Again, something a doctor would consider "grand and normal"?
And of course, some men in the industry are exploited too.
And of course, some men and women in the industry do just do it for the thrills and it's nothing to do with the money (like me with the webcams). This will never be commercial pornography though, it'll likely be amateur porn, unpaid, self uploaded.
But for a "doctor" to say it's "all grand" has just bewildered me. For a female to ever say porn is okay also bewilders me. Have we been conditioned by the patriarchy that much that some of us believe this is normal and okay?
Our daughters are going to have sexual partners who's majority of education when it comes to sexual acts is learned from this male dominated, women hating industry. I don't want my daughter (or my sons) thinking its normal to stick a penis in a mouth so hard that the woman vomits and chokes. I don't want them normalising hitting and smacking and hair pulling in sex....as a norm. Fair enough if that is what people want to do, then all good, but their needs to be a discussion on their preferences, not just having this preconceived mindset that "this is how it's supposed to be because this is how they do it in porn".
Then there's the preconceived ideas that women should have loud multiple orgasms with every sexual encounter...then when it doesn't happen the woman feels she's not normal or the man feels he's inferior. Some people genuinely don't believe porn is acting (including acting orgasms). This is damaging to their sexual mental health.
There's the men with the 'grip of death' who become so desensitized to sex in general that they find it difficult to either gain an erection, hold a prolonged erection or climax during sex. If you were a doctor of any kind you'd understand this because in society it's becoming a larger problem than ever before. Research claiming it's due to regular porn consumption. But "it's all grand and natural" hey, that people are seeking medical intervention due to porn industry ruined sex lives. It's all OK men in their 20's are seeking out Viagra to assist them due to their desensitisation. It's OK that some men see the aggressive nature of porn and then believe it's natural so then become aggressive in their own sexual behaviours, resulting in women needing surgery to correct the damage done to them?
Sorry but it's not OK. No *commercial* porn is OK. Amateur, possibly, but you can not be certain, but you can never, ever purchase consent. Sex isn't a commodity.
And the idea that men wanking to porn is OK is absurd. I appreciate men are visual creatures, but honestly, do with give them that little credit that we believe they 'need' or 'deserve' porn?
God, if you made it to the end of this dissertation well done
Okay, I'll quickly address this but I won't be making any further comments or read any further responses on this thread as I think we have derailed it enough (sorry OP).
So well said, both of your comments. And thank you for spelling out so clearly the reality of this industry. I was tempted to go on a rant, but then I realised whatever I said would fall on deaf ears so I disengaged instead. I could speculate further about what’s going on, but the timeline and vocabulary alone make no sense. She stated elsewhere that she is a “doctor of psychiatry” and 30 years old. First of all, the term is a psychiatrist. “Doctor of psychiatry” would be a psychiatrist who completed a PhD. If medical school is 6 years, internship 2 years, psych training 3-4 years and PhD 4 years, one would have to start med school at 14 to get to the level the poster is claiming to be on at 30. And you are right, doctors, like most other professionals, don’t go around advertising their profession on forums, unless it’s really relevant, and they certainly shouldn’t go around saying “I had patients in porn” in order to justify claiming “porn is grand”. This really upset me because it uses real people, who were very likely victims of abuse, as ego fodder.Okay, I'll quickly address this but I won't be making any further comments or read any further responses on this thread as I think we have derailed it enough (sorry OP).
Firstly, I never said anything about your spelling, so getting defensive about that is just odd.
I said in my post that I assume you meant morals rather than morale, which incidentally you'd used in two separate posts so wasn't even a spelling error, it's a word use error. Either way, I wasn't knocking it, I was just clarifying what you meant, as morals and morale are two completely separate concepts.
Secondly, you didn't state "wanking isn't cheating", which I doubt anyone would think anyway. Masturbation is perfectly normal and healthy. What you said, and I quote was...
"Porn is grand and normal so long as it doesn't interfere with the relationship or someone depends on it ! Omg celebs ? Haha ew"
My response to you was that porn isn't grand and normal. You're now implying myself and a PP have misinterpreted you, which we haven't. If you wanted to say masturbation is perfectly normal, then why not just say that? But you didn't, you said porn is normal. It's not.
And I agree with the PP. You can usually (granted, not always) tell by the mannerisms and writing style and what is written of someone to establish if they're a fellow colleague. I agree with that user. Plus medical professionals a) rarely ever disclose their profession online ESPECIALLY on a gossip forum like this, though I'm sure being a doctor you'd know all about professional misconduct and would yearly training on this. Part of that covers social media (like this site) and how you need to act with caution about even so much as implying you're a doctor, let alone explicitly telling people! .... and b) medical professionals rarely ever refer to themselves a doctor anyway. Usually would refer to themselves as GP or oncologist or whatever-ologist they are. It differentiates them (and rightly so, medicine is bloody hard) from people like me who've got an doctorate, who can also officially call myself a doctor, but I have no clue in anything medicine...
Aside from all that, whether you're a "doctor" or not would be completely irrelevant to this thread and I have no idea why you'd even come on to a thread about webcams models and say you are?! Even if you genuinely are, which you may be, who knows. People do frequently lie online, so implying that doesn't happen is foolish.
Anyway to the OP, I genuinely hope you're okay. It's up to YOU and you only what you consider cheating in a relationship. Some people will tell you they're fully accepting of their partner watching porn/visiting strip clubs/watching web cams/using prostitutes on stay parties, some will tell you they're not. It's up to YOU to define what constitutes as cheating in your relationship. It's up to you if you want to be with a man who is happy with degrading women to sex objects or not. One thing I will add, is when I did webcams, there was always the option of Cam to Cam, where he'd be on camera too. Does your partner do this? I remember men always wanking on those for me "to get turned on to", and telling me that their wives and girlfriends didn't want to have sex with them anymore. Usually they'd be in their family living rooms late at night and be surrounded by photos of their kids on the wall etc. It was sad. They'd slate their partners for not dressing like how I was dressed (literally they would assume I was wearing agent provacteur 24/7)! Little did they know that I spent the majority of my off camera time looking like a hobbit! But I found it sad how they would slate their women when they could have been spending the money spent online taking her out, treating her to lingerie or the time spent online doing things to make her life easier, which may have an impact on improving their own sex lives and intimacy.
Then you'd get some men who were absolute dicks who'd say stuff like she won't duck me anymore because she's a selfish fat witch. Would have loved to have said to them that I can see why she won't go near you, you look like you haven't washed in five years and your attitude stinks more than you.
But, so you don't get any financial consequences you just had to pretend that the guy you were interacting with was a sex god!! Then I think they get addicted to the ego stimulation. The webcam industry definitely exploits the customers (knowing what their weaknesses are) as much as the women performing.
10000% this. Especially the line that many of us end up hurt by it in one way or another! So true!!So well said, both of your comments. And thank you for spelling out so clearly the reality of this industry. I was tempted to go on a rant, but then I realised whatever I said would fall on deaf ears so I disengaged instead. I could speculate further about what’s going on, but the timeline and vocabulary alone make no sense. She stated elsewhere that she is a “doctor of psychiatry” and 30 years old. First of all, the term is a psychiatrist. “Doctor of psychiatry” would be a psychiatrist who completed a PhD. If medical school is 6 years, internship 2 years, psych training 3-4 years and PhD 4 years, one would have to start med school at 14 to get to the level the poster is claiming to be on at 30. And you are right, doctors, like most other professionals, don’t go around advertising their profession on forums, unless it’s really relevant, and they certainly shouldn’t go around saying “I had patients in porn” in order to justify claiming “porn is grand”. This really upset me because it uses real people, who were very likely victims of abuse, as ego fodder.
Also my apologies to the OP for the derailment. But I do think it’s important to discuss the reality of sex industry in the context of the original question, because most women are pressured by popular culture to be “cool with it” even though so many of us end up hurt by it in one way or another. I do hope things work out for the best for you. xx
I know I said I wouldn't comment again but it got the better of me as something just didn't feel right. Just read through her other posts on tattle, she's many different doctors / consultants / registrars in different fields etc (dependent on post topicSo well said, both of your comments. And thank you for spelling out so clearly the reality of this industry. I was tempted to go on a rant, but then I realised whatever I said would fall on deaf ears so I disengaged instead. I could speculate further about what’s going on, but the timeline and vocabulary alone make no sense. She stated elsewhere that she is a “doctor of psychiatry” and 30 years old. First of all, the term is a psychiatrist. “Doctor of psychiatry” would be a psychiatrist who completed a PhD. If medical school is 6 years, internship 2 years, psych training 3-4 years and PhD 4 years, one would have to start med school at 14 to get to the level the poster is claiming to be on at 30. And you are right, doctors, like most other professionals, don’t go around advertising their profession on forums, unless it’s really relevant, and they certainly shouldn’t go around saying “I had patients in porn” in order to justify claiming “porn is grand”. This really upset me because it uses real people, who were very likely victims of abuse, as ego fodder.
Also my apologies to the OP for the derailment. But I do think it’s important to discuss the reality of sex industry in the context of the original question, because most women are pressured by popular culture to be “cool with it” even though so many of us end up hurt by it in one way or another. I do hope things work out for the best for you. xx
) and has mentioned being one on literally every post mentioned. All by age 30 too... Great sleuthingI know I said I wouldn't comment again but it got the better of me as something just didn't feel right. Just read through her other posts on tattle, she's many different doctors / consultants / registrars in different fields etc (dependent on post topic
Just please STOP.
Really ridiculous behaviour. I have ignored her now.
