“Rebecca loves to travel”...... on gifted Neilson holidays. If not, she doesn’t travel.
“Sharing rural life in Aberdeenshire” ..... aka a walk in the woods out the back of her house that look like something from the Blair witch project.
“Over time....Rebecca has attracted attention from brands”.... Aka Over time Rebecca has been dropped by nearly every feckin brand she’s worked with!
“Her followers are deeply admiring of her honesty and openness” Where have these people been for the past two years, are we talking about the same person here? ...... oh bloody hell. Who writes this shit? It gets worse.
“Mrs Meldrum is at one with her audience” aka she has mastered the art of selling absolutely anything & perfected her most popular phrase “so so so many of you have asked where (said product) is from.” If you want someone who’s a master at selling any old tat and taking your hard earned money for doing fuck all then Rebs is your girl!
“A wonderful choice to work with your brand or campaign”. No, Just NO! Like what’s her face from Jurassic park says...... Ruuuuuunnnnnnnn!
“Her videos support families with maternal advice”..... aka calling her children feral, shutting them in their rooms and advising other parents to definitely NOT have a third child....among many of her little nuggets of valuable parenting advice. Honestly. Don’t quite know where I’d be without her valuable information on how to be maternal.
“Rebecca gave birth to Florence live...”
Don’t ever do this. It’s just a really really bad idea. Keep your Jamaican accent for your three children, Nanny (aka husband) and horse. Don’t let your children be mortified that their entrance to the world has been viewed by thousands of strangers. It’s just weird.
The end.