Mrs Hinch #558 we can't smell your kitchen Sophie, but we can smell the bull....

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Mrs Hinch 558 - we can't smell your kitchen Sophie, but we can smell the bullshit
Winning title by @Erica24


After the revelation that she couldn't be at Stacey's hen do because she wasn't invited her cousins hen party is also, coincidentally, this weekend, she went to sleep clawing her neck in the dog bed and dreaming up ways to draw the attention back to her.
Teeny Peeny Thursday is usually the cleaners day and Sophs day off. Not this week! Thursday morning she was up and online with a bit of validation from the faithful sheep, thanking them for being absolute morons.
Gary the kitchen fitter summed up Tattles collective attitude towards Hunch. We see how tired you are of her tit Gary, we see you.
There was the usual child endangerment as we saw Ronald feeding the Maldon 3. It's begging for trouble and concerning that she doesn't see it. We also had Soph reminding herself that only she needs to understand her life choices. Don't put it out on Instagram if you don't want anyone questioning it then hunaaaaaay.
She's also good at having fun, showing us that she don't need no stinky Solomon hen party in a private villa in Mykonos to crack herself up. So she reminded us of the time she played shops as a fully grown adult in a supermarket. That's right. One of her funniest memories is playing shops, alone, as an adult. Oh dear.

Her dreams also came true on Thursday when Janine got a penis enlargement the wood burner was fitted. Where was it fitted, you may ask. The living room? The snug? A cosy nook in the kitchen? Oh no, in the fully glazed and wood framed orangery of course! Where the duck else would one put a burning hot bit of metal?!
Of course the fitters outed her pre-record by letting us all know it was installed on Wednesday, not Thursday. Oh Soph. Get your contractors in line!

Then a final story for the day, containing a wordy quote to remind us of all the last times with little ones. Whilst cuddling a one year old who I'm sure will need many more cuddles over the coming years.

Friday was apparently pirate day at nursery for little Ronald. Except it wasn't, because it was an excuse to post an Amazon affiliated link and to do another unsafe and questionable play tray. Gotta make those freebies worth it!

Then, with our crunky snacks and coke at the ready, it was off to the hen party. What exotic climes and hijinks were planned? A cheap looking escape hotel 10 miles down the road in the ever glamorous Burnham-On-Crouch, that's what. SS must be seething with jealousy at such a decadent hen party.
A lovely shot of the hens and Hunch was shared by the venue on Saturday morning. At least, we think it was her. With all her faces it's sometimes hard to tell.
And despite not having read Tattle since the great library of Alexandria went up in flames, she posted a little story addressing how the hen do had to be put off for three years (despite COVID only happening 2 years ago) and was so long awaited. Despite the coincidence of it falling on besties hen weekend too. Just admit you weren't invited Soph.
Finally she settled into a jacuzzi bath with an appletiser, asking the sheep whether they have their own sex swamp in the garden. She does know her target audience right? Safe to say, there's one being installed as we speak.

Now, wind your necks in and #bekind you nusty hens.

For newbies:
Wiki is the pink button at the top. Give it a read, it's great. Thread 500 is also a Pulitzer prize winning read.
Hunch/Bet Hinch/Sopha - our lord and saviour, Saint Sophie Rose of Maldonia
Jimbob/Teeny Peeny/Janine/Inch - Jamie, Sophie husband
Fiddle/Freda/Ma Barker - Sophs mum
The Maldon 3 - the alpacas. Who seem to be featuring a little less lately.
Chicken Strip/FatDog Slim - the dog, Henry

Thread title suggestions marked with "thread suggestion" and from page 30 please. I forgot to say last time - no swears please! Managed to get around it this time but keep them clean please! And short!
 

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Having sex in a hot tub or anything similar is a great way to get a UTI or thrush due to the amount of bacteria they can harbour and develop....now I don't like to wish bad on anyone but if I was going to....👀
 
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Could the installation of the hot tub just be an excuse to get the Poolguy at Llama lodge?
The poor man looked a bit tense when SS started teasing him with the Cola song. Bet he'll run for his life when sex starved Sofa starts with her double entendre. 😆🤭
 
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My very own thread title; I never thought this would happen to little old me from the little town of Devon. I would like to thank all the lovely nusty trolls that voted for me and for Sophie Rose for being such a twit and making it all possible. X
 
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Where is she that has that hot tub?

we always rent holiday homes with hot tubs (novelty factor) and as much as we like them on holiday, we just know we wouldn’t use it enough if we installed one at home.

you just know she’s already had one installed though 😂 she’ll have that red revealing swimsuit at the ready for pervy Jamie to film her 🤢
 
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Having sex in a hot tub or anything similar is a great way to get a UTI or thrush due to the amount of bacteria they can harbour and develop....now I don't like to wish bad on anyone but if I was going to....👀

Ever since my boyfriend called them ‘hot people soup’ I’ve never been in one 🤣🤣🤣🤣
 
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Ever since my boyfriend called them ‘hot people soup’ I’ve never been in one 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I like the term ‘Sex Pond’.

Should definitely get one. Great investment. Absolutely worth all the hassle.

if you read here Mrs H.Do it… ;)

 
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Someone posted on the last thread about Hinch being the stalker at SS hen do and I'm absolutely craving a scccchhhpppeecial pic from one of you nusty hens 🤣 hinch hiding behind a rock taking pics because she can't stand the fact that she's missing out!! Reckon she's got major FOMO this week
 
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Where is she that has that hot tub?

we always rent holiday homes with hot tubs (novelty factor) and as much as we like them on holiday, we just know we wouldn’t use it enough if we installed one at home.

you just know she’s already had one installed though 😂 she’ll have that red revealing swimsuit at the ready for pervy Jamie to film her 🤢
It's at the hotel from then hen do last night
 
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She doesn’t want a hot tub, she wants a photo of a hot tub, surrounded by Hinch x Teshco rubbish with fields and a sunset in the background to post on her grid
 
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I've noticed ever since she was outed for plagiarism, she's named every single quote since... the power of Tattle🤣🤣🤣
 
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She doesn’t want a hot tub, she wants a photo of a hot tub, surrounded by Hinch x Teshco rubbish with fields and a sunset in the background to post on her grid
THIS ☝ absolutely EVERYTHING these "influencers" do is always for the gram and it's getting so boring now 🙄 even the ones that seem to be relatable or show the "reality" of things, even that is fake as duck
 
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Someone posted on the last thread about Hinch being the stalker at SS hen do and I'm absolutely craving a scccchhhpppeecial pic from one of you nusty hens 🤣 hinch hiding behind a rock taking pics because she can't stand the fact that she's missing out!! Reckon she's got major FOMO this week
Just come here to find out why she hasn’t gone ? What is the gossip ! Surely Stacey invited her ?x
 
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Follow your authentic path 🤣 do me a favour you're the most unauthentic thing on the planet! The only path she follows is the one to the bank 💰 follow the yellow brick road of MONEY that she's fleeced from the sheep 🐑 and don't even get me started on the hard work paying off 🥱
 

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