Mrs Hinch 558 - we can't smell your kitchen Sophie, but we can smell the bullshit
Winning title by @Erica24
After the revelation that she couldn't be at Stacey's hen do becauseshe wasn't invited her cousins hen party is also, coincidentally, this weekend, she went to sleep clawing her neck in the dog bed and dreaming up ways to draw the attention back to her.
Teeny Peeny Thursday is usually the cleaners day and Sophs day off. Not this week! Thursday morning she was up and online with a bit of validation from the faithful sheep, thanking them for being absolute morons.
Gary the kitchen fitter summed up Tattles collective attitude towards Hunch. We see how tired you are of her tit Gary, we see you.
There was the usual child endangerment as we saw Ronald feeding the Maldon 3. It's begging for trouble and concerning that she doesn't see it. We also had Soph reminding herself that only she needs to understand her life choices. Don't put it out on Instagram if you don't want anyone questioning it then hunaaaaaay.
She's also good at having fun, showing us that she don't need no stinky Solomon hen party in a private villa in Mykonos to crack herself up. So she reminded us of the time she played shops as a fully grown adult in a supermarket. That's right. One of her funniest memories is playing shops, alone, as an adult. Oh dear.
Her dreams also came true on Thursday whenJanine got a penis enlargement the wood burner was fitted. Where was it fitted, you may ask. The living room? The snug? A cosy nook in the kitchen? Oh no, in the fully glazed and wood framed orangery of course! Where the duck else would one put a burning hot bit of metal?!
Of course the fitters outed her pre-record by letting us all know it was installed on Wednesday, not Thursday. Oh Soph. Get your contractors in line!
Then a final story for the day, containing a wordy quote to remind us of all the last times with little ones. Whilst cuddling a one year old who I'm sure will need many more cuddles over the coming years.
Friday was apparently pirate day at nursery for little Ronald. Except it wasn't, because it was an excuse to post an Amazon affiliated link and to do another unsafe and questionable play tray. Gotta make those freebies worth it!
Then, with our crunky snacks and coke at the ready, it was off to the hen party. What exotic climes and hijinks were planned? A cheap looking escape hotel 10 miles down the road in the ever glamorous Burnham-On-Crouch, that's what. SS must be seething with jealousy at such a decadent hen party.
A lovely shot of the hens and Hunch was shared by the venue on Saturday morning. At least, we think it was her. With all her faces it's sometimes hard to tell.
And despite not having read Tattle since the great library of Alexandria went up in flames, she posted a little story addressing how the hen do had to be put off for three years (despite COVID only happening 2 years ago) and was so long awaited. Despite the coincidence of it falling on besties hen weekend too. Just admit you weren't invited Soph.
Finally she settled into a jacuzzi bath with an appletiser, asking the sheep whether they have their own sex swamp in the garden. She does know her target audience right? Safe to say, there's one being installed as we speak.
Now, wind your necks in and #bekind you nusty hens.
For newbies:
Wiki is the pink button at the top. Give it a read, it's great. Thread 500 is also a Pulitzer prize winning read.
Hunch/Bet Hinch/Sopha - our lord and saviour, Saint Sophie Rose of Maldonia
Jimbob/Teeny Peeny/Janine/Inch - Jamie, Sophie husband
Fiddle/Freda/Ma Barker - Sophs mum
The Maldon 3 - the alpacas. Who seem to be featuring a little less lately.
Chicken Strip/FatDog Slim - the dog, Henry
Thread title suggestions marked with "thread suggestion" and from page 30 please. I forgot to say last time - no swears please! Managed to get around it this time but keep them clean please! And short!
Winning title by @Erica24
After the revelation that she couldn't be at Stacey's hen do because
Teeny Peeny Thursday is usually the cleaners day and Sophs day off. Not this week! Thursday morning she was up and online with a bit of validation from the faithful sheep, thanking them for being absolute morons.
Gary the kitchen fitter summed up Tattles collective attitude towards Hunch. We see how tired you are of her tit Gary, we see you.
There was the usual child endangerment as we saw Ronald feeding the Maldon 3. It's begging for trouble and concerning that she doesn't see it. We also had Soph reminding herself that only she needs to understand her life choices. Don't put it out on Instagram if you don't want anyone questioning it then hunaaaaaay.
She's also good at having fun, showing us that she don't need no stinky Solomon hen party in a private villa in Mykonos to crack herself up. So she reminded us of the time she played shops as a fully grown adult in a supermarket. That's right. One of her funniest memories is playing shops, alone, as an adult. Oh dear.
Her dreams also came true on Thursday when
Of course the fitters outed her pre-record by letting us all know it was installed on Wednesday, not Thursday. Oh Soph. Get your contractors in line!
Then a final story for the day, containing a wordy quote to remind us of all the last times with little ones. Whilst cuddling a one year old who I'm sure will need many more cuddles over the coming years.
Friday was apparently pirate day at nursery for little Ronald. Except it wasn't, because it was an excuse to post an Amazon affiliated link and to do another unsafe and questionable play tray. Gotta make those freebies worth it!
Then, with our crunky snacks and coke at the ready, it was off to the hen party. What exotic climes and hijinks were planned? A cheap looking escape hotel 10 miles down the road in the ever glamorous Burnham-On-Crouch, that's what. SS must be seething with jealousy at such a decadent hen party.
A lovely shot of the hens and Hunch was shared by the venue on Saturday morning. At least, we think it was her. With all her faces it's sometimes hard to tell.
And despite not having read Tattle since the great library of Alexandria went up in flames, she posted a little story addressing how the hen do had to be put off for three years (despite COVID only happening 2 years ago) and was so long awaited. Despite the coincidence of it falling on besties hen weekend too. Just admit you weren't invited Soph.
Finally she settled into a jacuzzi bath with an appletiser, asking the sheep whether they have their own sex swamp in the garden. She does know her target audience right? Safe to say, there's one being installed as we speak.
Now, wind your necks in and #bekind you nusty hens.
For newbies:
Wiki is the pink button at the top. Give it a read, it's great. Thread 500 is also a Pulitzer prize winning read.
Hunch/Bet Hinch/Sopha - our lord and saviour, Saint Sophie Rose of Maldonia
Jimbob/Teeny Peeny/Janine/Inch - Jamie, Sophie husband
Fiddle/Freda/Ma Barker - Sophs mum
The Maldon 3 - the alpacas. Who seem to be featuring a little less lately.
Chicken Strip/FatDog Slim - the dog, Henry
Thread title suggestions marked with "thread suggestion" and from page 30 please. I forgot to say last time - no swears please! Managed to get around it this time but keep them clean please! And short!
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