Mrs Hinch #430 A child is for life not just for content!

Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
Mrs Hinch #430 - A child is for life not just for content!

Winning thread title by @F the dust. 🥳

(Thread titles taken from page 40 onwards guyshh! ATV👍)

Sunday morning started off with Hinch revealing what medication she was on for her anxiteeeee guyssshhh. She’s had her dose upped (cue tiny violins) and is suffering side effects so decided to ask the huns for advice. Call your GP they might be better qualified to help rather than asking some cotton wool brained, pink stuff sniffing moron.
She’s ramping up the sympathy vote which means we must be getting closer to Soph having to move to a mansion with a tend farm for her to play in. She deserevessshhhh it guyshhhh. She needs a life of complete luxury and tranquility for her mental health.
After she visited Stacey’s country pile she did tell us she'd stop at nothing to get the same for her family. Given she hasn’t done a days work since, and is just posting the same crap I think we can assume stopping at nothing means gaslighting the sheep into thinking she’s so ill she needs to move for her own health.

She asked the huns how they were feeling after the kids have gone back to school, presumably they all replied to her. She ignored them and it was never mentioned again.

She said she had BBQ with BOTH their families on Saturday. No evidence of this was posted but Tattle had been asking where Jamie’s family are so thanks for clarifying bubs.

She jumped on the autumn insta trend bandwagon and started putting white and grey pumpkins all over the house, her mantelpiece display looks like a giant cock, which is ironic given she’s married to Jamie, short for James.
She tried to do a Stacey by getting crafty with some shhhhhtrinnnggggg but it just made it look worse. She also copied her chum Mario with an autumn tray ... what? Don’t we all have an autumn tray? ... out on the coffee table, just perfect for someone with little kids and a dog. Just proves Ron can’t move in that house “I shhhhheeeeedddd NO!” She literally begged her sheep to buy autumnal crap and tag her in. Is someone getting a tad desperate?

Yet again she stayed home with Len whilst Ron was at Baby Ballers with his dad and her niece. Given the level of gallivanting she’s been doing she can hardly say she can’t cope with going out. She claims to be heartbroken Ron’s at nursery but she could be with him at his footie club and chooses not to.
It was his turn to take home the toy mascot, you know the routine mum and dad have to think up fun adventures for “Bobby” and note them down. Well of course Hinch couldn’t cope with Ron having a toy so he was trained to give it to a Henry immediately who ran off with it in to the garden before it was also snatched off him and thrown in the washing machine. Got to keep it on brand!

Then she decided to do some cleaning. She just couldn’t wait to clean her under sink Narnia...yes it was another ad. Every time she cleans now it’s just to push the products on to everyone. This time she wasn’t even using the products she was just zooming in on them all as she put them back in. She also “forgot” to #ad most of them including her own Tessssshhco range.

After that everyone was off to Freda Fiddle Fingers for her roast dinner. Jamie laaaavs it guyssshhh. He spends all week drooling at the thought of dipping his meat in Freda’s gravy.
Henry was also treated to a bowl full of unnecessary calories too, the poor bugger and Jamie accidentally posted a photo of Hinch’s un-Photoshopped arm putting his bowl down.

To round the day off Gretel came out in full force. The board games were back out and Soph was in a right strop. She must have spotted the photo Jamie or did you sneak off to the garage after dinner?
I’m not sure the point of these evening spent playing board games when you're supposedly a knackered mum of a baby and toddler but it’s probably an audition to go on Family Fortunes. Just apply hun, because I doubt the producers are watching you for the celeb version.

Monday was a quiet day. The huns were supposed to be fretting she’s unwell after the antidepressant name drop. She forgot she then spent the day decorating pumpkins, running ads, having roast dinners and playing silly games (which is her speciality).
She arrived back peak engagement time with another photo of a strange woman who bore no resemblance to Soph holding Leonard for a photo, with a quote wittering on about how she’s buying a mansion and she doesn’t give a tit what Tattle think. Well that’s basically what it translates to anyway..
It also had nothing to do with the fact that Stacey and her sister had been doing a photoshoot for In The Style. It was purely a coincidence!
Hinch is sooo happy for bubs and not jealous or trying to steal the attention at all. At. All. Ok?

Tuesday and she’s back cos today feels so autumn. I think the award winning “orfur” meant autumnal. She did an ott, totes emosh, video of her perfickkkk famileee minus little Ron and has dressed herself in her Hinch loungewear at last. She’s also photoshopped herself to be three sizes smaller than she really is. Not going out with Henry and the baby for a walk or collecting Ron from nursery then? Just straight in to the loungewear and on to the sofa for the day.

This afternoon we were treated to a manic and desperate advert for Scrub Daddy who seem to be the only brand other than tessshco she’s pushing at the moment.
It was a double whammy as she decided to use a scrub mommy on one of her upcycling projects, a shelving unit that we saw about a fortnight ago.
Her family were all there cheering her on as she gave it her usual make over with chalk paint and sandpaper and she dropped the usual little hints about needing a workshop and moving to the new mansion.
The weather also didn’t seem “so autumn” in the grounds of Castle Greyskull in fact it looked rather dry compared to the rest of Maldonia...I can’t wait to see how else she manages to convince her shoppers that they MUST buy ten quids worth of plastic scrubbers and what inspired uses she comes up with to showcase them. Maybe she should could put some on the autumn tray with the rest of the useless crap?
 

Attachments

Last edited by a moderator:
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Heart
Reactions: 154
Dipping his meat in Freda’s gravy!! 😂😂😂 hinch really is Denise royle and freda is Barbara, dopey james is Dave, only decent meal Dave ever got was at Barbara’s to! this might be my fave recap!
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: 70
She’ll be speaking like this soon:
Good morning, how are you all? WE’RE just having breakfast. Jamie has just been MOVING some bits around in the garden to pretend that Ronnie’s been allowed out to play. I stayed in the HOUSE though as I’m too anxious to leave the sofa unless it’s to visit Victoria’s Secret, the theatre or go to my best bub’s sickfest. Anyway it’s a day that ends in Y so I’m going to have a day off my stories guys and I’ll speak to you TOMORROW 😉 where things might look a bit different. I’m so excited to share it all with you even though I’ve been dropping tit hints since we broke lockdown to drive around looking at houses in the snow 👍🏼
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: 99
Literally been torrential rain all day but she's managed to wreck another piece of furniture out in the garden with her dad.

Does no one in that family have a day job??
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 45
She desperately want the SS life. She wants her show and the tend arguing her and inch do. Just like SS & JS. Just for content. Such a copycat 🤣🤣
 
  • Like
Reactions: 30
I can’t always catch up on the thread as it moves so fast sometimes and I have to actually get my ar*e off the sofa unlike the queen of castle greyskull… but I always come and read your recaps Bunnykins as they always make me laugh! You are such an amazing writer 🤣♥
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 26
Hilarious recap! Well done!! Is Maldon the only place in the whole south to not have had any torrential rain today? She’s trying to flog those sponges, she must be low on cash
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Heart
Reactions: 24
Mrs Hinch #430 - A child is for life not just for content!

Winning thread title by @F the dust. 🥳

(Thread titles taken from page 40 onwards guyshh! ATV👍)

Sunday morning started off with Hinch revealing what medication she was on for her anxiteeeee guyssshhh. She’s had her dose upped (cue tiny violins) and is suffering side effects so decided to ask the huns for advice. Call your GP they might be better qualified to help rather than asking some cotton wool brained, pink stuff sniffing moron.
She’s ramping up the sympathy vote which means we must be getting closer to Soph having to move to a mansion with a tend farm for her to play in. She deserevessshhhh it guyshhhh. She needs a life of complete luxury and tranquility for her mental health.
After she visited Stacey’s country pile she did tell us she'd stop at nothing to get the same for her family. Given she hasn’t done a days work since, and is just posting the same crap I think we can assume stopping at nothing means gaslighting the sheep into thinking she’s so ill she needs to move for her own health.

She asked the huns how they were feeling after the kids have gone back to school, presumably they all replied to her. She ignored them and it was never mentioned again.

She said she had BBQ with BOTH their families on Saturday. No evidence of this was posted but Tattle had been asking where Jamie’s family are so thanks for clarifying bubs.

She jumped on the autumn insta trend bandwagon and started putting white and grey pumpkins all over the house, her mantelpiece display looks like a giant cock, which is ironic given she’s married to Jamie, short for James.
She tried to do a Stacey by getting crafty with some shhhhhtrinnnggggg but it just made it look worse. She also copied her chum Mario with an autumn tray ... what? Don’t we all have an autumn tray? ... out on the coffee table, just perfect for someone with little kids and a dog. Just proves Ron can’t move in that house “I shhhhheeeeedddd NO!” She literally begged her sheep to buy autumnal crap and tag her in. Is someone getting a tad desperate?

Yet again she stayed home with Len whilst Ron was at Baby Ballers with his dad and her niece. Given the level of gallivanting she’s been doing she can hardly say she can’t cope with going out. She claims to be heartbroken Ron’s at nursery but she could be with him at his footie club and chooses not to.
It was his turn to take home the toy mascot, you know the routine mum and dad have to think up fun adventures for “Bobby” and note them down. Well of course Hinch couldn’t cope with Ron having a toy so he was trained to give it to a Henry immediately who ran off with it in to the garden before it was also snatched off him and thrown in the washing machine. Got to keep it on brand!

Then she decided to do some cleaning. She just couldn’t wait to clean her under sink Narnia...yes it was another ad. Every time she cleans now it’s just to push the products on to everyone. This time she wasn’t even using the products she was just zooming in on them all as she put them back in. She also “forgot” to #ad most of them including her own Tessssshhco range.

After that everyone was off to Freda Fiddle Fingers for her roast dinner. Jamie laaaavs it guyssshhh. He spends all week drooling at the thought of dipping his meat in Freda’s gravy.
Henry was also treated to a bowl full of unnecessary calories too, the poor bugger and Jamie accidentally posted a photo of Hinch’s un-Photoshopped arm putting his bowl down.

To round the day off Gretel came out in full force. The board games were back out and Soph was in a right strop. She must have spotted the photo Jamie or did you sneak off to the garage after dinner?
I’m not sure the point of these evening spent playing board games when you're supposedly a knackered mum of a baby and toddler but it’s probably an audition to go on Family Fortunes. Just apply hun, because I doubt the producers are watching you for the celeb version.

Monday was a quiet day. The huns were supposed to be fretting she’s unwell after the antidepressant name drop. She forgot she then spent the day decorating pumpkins, running ads, having roast dinners and playing silly games (which is her speciality).
She arrived back peak engagement time with another photo of a strange woman who bore no resemblance to Soph holding Leonard for a photo, with a quote wittering on about how she’s buying a mansion and she doesn’t give a tit what Tattle think. Well that’s basically what it translates to anyway..
It also had nothing to do with the fact that Stacey and her sister had been doing a photoshoot for In The Style. It was purely a coincidence!
Hinch is sooo happy for bubs and not jealous or trying to steal the attention at all. At. All. Ok?

Tuesday and she’s back cos today feels so autumn. I think the award winning “orfur” meant autumnal. She did an ott, totes emosh, video of her perfickkkk famileee minus little Ron and has dressed herself in her Hinch loungewear at last. She’s also photoshopped herself to be three sizes smaller than she really is. Not going out with Henry and the baby for a walk or collecting Ron from nursery then? Just straight in to the loungewear and on to the sofa for the day.

This afternoon we were treated to a manic and desperate advert for Scrub Daddy who seem to be the only brand other than tessshco she’s pushing at the moment.
It was a double whammy as she decided to use a scrub mommy on one of her upcycling projects, a shelving unit that we saw about a fortnight ago.
Her family were all there cheering her on as she gave it her usual make over with chalk paint and sandpaper and she dropped the usual little hints about needing a workshop and moving to the new mansion.
The weather also didn’t seem “so autumn” in the grounds of Castle Greyskull in fact it looked rather dry compared to the rest of Maldonia...I can’t wait to see how else she manages to convince her shoppers that they MUST buy ten quids worth of plastic scrubbers and what inspired uses she comes up with to showcase them. Maybe she should could put some on the autumn tray with the rest of the useless crap?

In other news a Hinch superfan went rogue, changed her username to remove Hinch and went on a rant about how she’d been brainwashed into buying shitloads of pointless crap that made Mrs Hinch and the cleaning product companies rich and left her in debt.. you’d think she’d seen the light but she’s obviously still thick as tit as she would rather blame us “Tattle c#nts” than her messiah. We didn’t make you spend a fortune hunaaaayyy. It must hurt that we were right 💅
Even so it must be a bit of a shock to the goddess, still thinking all your sheep will be ok with with that new mansion hun? ...
Bloody brilliant 👏👏 gave me a laugh after such a crappy day ❤❤
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 13
Literally been torrential rain all day but she's managed to wreck another piece of furniture out in the garden with her dad.

Does no one in that family have a day job??
Big Al is a professional mourner. For a tenner he’ll sit mysteriously at the back of the crem crying into his hanky. Must of been a quiet day
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 77
@Bunnykin Dipping his meat in Freda's gravy I literally snorted out loud, my family think I've gone mad! Great recap, wonder if she ever reads them and laughs. Probably not she has no sense of humour. I'm fank oo
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: 22
Jeeeezzzzzz I’m tending to the pups and we have a new thread ffs 😂😂😂
So inch has a cheesy knob and sofa slob has ditched the white washing for a scrub daddy......
Has Ron gone to Ron people yet, has he been back to nursery, has fiddle declared her love for Jim Bob no job and does Lennie and Ronnie rhyme
I have so many questions
As you were 😂😂
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: 22
' After she visited Stacey’s country pile she did tell us she'd stop at nothing to get the same for her family. Given she hasn’t done a days work since, and is just posting the same crap I think we can assume stopping at nothing means gaslighting the sheep into thinking she’s so ill she needs to move for her own health.'

ain't that the truth!

Fredas gravy 😂 😂
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Heart
Reactions: 28
Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.