I know exactly what you went through. I had 16 months between my first 2, I was a teenager and my partner worked away all week.
The baby had problems feeding and would scream constantly then the toddler would scream.
One day they were both screaming, I was sobbing my heart out thinking I cant do this anymore. Then my neighbour came in, took both kids and said have a bath, put your makeup on and when you feel ready come to mine, take as long as you need.
I honestly think she saved my life that day!
Thank god there was no social media in those days because I dread to think the effect that seeing the perfect, disney family has on new parents.
Glad you’re coping better now but dont ever feel ashamed to tell someone that you’re struggling because you arent alone, thousands of mums are struggling too