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Nikkijj

Active member
Saw someone wrote a song about Hinch. I can't write songs. So I wrote a rhyme.


She'll call you friends, she'll call you guys,
Your ears will bleed from the constant lies.
From door-knocker earrings to garden tables
She'll sell you tat while she wears labels

She's pretends to be sweet and real and relatable
But if she's ever honest is really debateable.
She gets out of bed then gets out her phone
Sprays chemicals around her immaculate home

She's selling the dream, and SELLING's the word
But even her Kermit can't polish a turd!
She names all her cloths cos it makes her seem sweet
Then tidies the house that's always so neat

The products she's pushing are always in view
Whether eating her porridge or cleaning her loo
She's sly and dishonest, behind filters and hair
She's a caricature but her shoppers don't care

They copy, they follow, they love and adore her
While diluting our rivers with spring fresh zoflora
They don't mind the dangers or harm to their health
They just feed her ego, her conceit and her wealth.

She laughs at them all, she thinks it's so funny
And the tabloids won't touch her because of the money
So she carries on with her best life goals
And writes off her critics as bullies and trolls

But take heart dear tattlers, this too shall pass
She'll soon fall from grace and land on her ass.
And when we all witness the change to her luck
Will we hold back from gloating? Haha will I fuck!
 
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Qwerty6337

Chatty Member
Just quickly mai hinchers, I’ve had my little dorgeous handsomes. Can you believe it, he’s a real baby. I’m a first time mum, I’m still learning but he likes milk. I’m so shocked. I was gonna send him to my mums for a roast but apparently he can’t do that yet. And the amaaazing nurses and midwives and surgeons who do an excellent job told me I shouldn’t dilute zoflora and put it in his bottles, even if the erm. What’s it called. Oh I’ve forgotten HA. What am I lyk.. dilution that’s the one, dilution on the box, which is important for you to do, always read the label
 
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Ozilla

Well-known member
New to all this and I’ve been a lurker!! But seriously??? I am NOT a hincher but I feel it’s rather sad how these threads have become - I’m all for calling her out for her lack of #tags/paid for/aff whatever, but to comment about her and how she looks/how her husband looks/how the bloody dog looks is taking things a bit too much- so what is she doesn’t have a nursery - I didn’t!! Babies don’t need to sleep in a separate room
I always stop reading at “I am not a Hincher but”. Rolls my eyes into the back of my head and I know we’ll hear some thing we’ve heard a million times before.
 
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Nikkijj

Active member
Have my problems, and I'll take yours, and I promise you I will not cry.
I wanted to treat this with the contempt it deserves and ignore it but its such a ridiculous invitation I have to respond.

Thanks for listing your problems but it isn't a competition. Lots of us have lost loved ones to cancer, been through care system etc. Not relevant to my original response to your shaming comment. I too found my real mum and got to speak to her once over the phone, she died before I got chance to meet her. My grandparents who brought me up died while I was still young and not a day goes by when I don't miss them like crazy. I was in an RTC when I was 9, suffered awful injuries and am scarred for life. But worse than any of this is my beautiful amazing and sweet little baby girl died aged 2 and I relive the moment I walked in her room and found her every day of my fucking life.

You don't know what problems others have so think on. You shamed people for crying over their looks which is not cool.

And before you repeat you're stupid it's not personal mantra you made it personal when you invited me to swap problems with you.

You're a nasty bitter person who likes to belittle others and act superior. Well you're not so fuck you.

Thanks everyone else for supportive comments earlier. I'll leave tattle now, end of rant.
 
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Nikkijj

Active member
New to all this and I’ve been a lurker!! But seriously??? I am NOT a hincher but I feel it’s rather sad how these threads have become - I’m all for calling her out for her lack of #tags/paid for/aff whatever, but to comment about her and how she looks/how her husband looks/how the bloody dog looks is taking things a bit too much- so what is she doesn’t have a nursery - I didn’t!! Babies don’t need to sleep in a separate room
"I'm not a hincher but..." 🙄🙄 here we go again!

1. We'll talk about how she looks cos she's putting herself out there to 2m people, hiding behind filters or sharing pics of professional photo shoots while at same time pretending to be real and relateable.

2. We'll talk about how the dog looks because while he's a dorgeous handsomes mans he doesn't look to be living his best life or particularly happy.

3. We'll talk about how Jamie looks cos he's fugly.

Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
 
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Sozhun

VIP Member
New thread suggestion:
SwipeUpSophie becomes tattle's puppet, still in the hinch army you must be a muppet!
 
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raynorxo

Well-known member
I love watching my wedding video ....
Backwards ..
Dancing all night at our party ,then taking my ring off and walking back up the aisle and leave with my family and friends for a champagne breakfast!
 
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Hinchthebinch

Chatty Member
Does anyone else think she'll keep her birth entirely private? She won't ever say whether it was a section or not. Most we'll get is a black and white photo of her, jamie, and baby moneymaker in a hospital bed, obviously with her cannulas on show.
A foot or a hand wrapped around a finger... So predictable

Oh and then we will see a video 59 Million times of a black and white video sad song and it will be Mrs hinch reaction to seeing the baby
 
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Zoflora_It_All

Active member
“I’m gonna wake up in the morning and a plane could of landed on this runway strip”

And she wants tattle closing down? Where would you get your “one liners” from Soph if we weren’t here?
 
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Nikkijj

Active member
Well I was expecting her to talk about being trolled, but that wasn't the reason. She said she was crying because, and I quote, 'ever had one of those days that no matter what you do, you just look terrible'. I can hand on heart, NEVER cried over looking terrible lol But maybe because I don't give a rats ass what I look like, and I know I scrub up okay, just like everyone else. I have cried over family's health, the loss of someone or a pet, you know, real issues. She's sat there in her new gifted clothes, in her new gifted fake hair, with an entire make up room filled to the rafters with all the best products, she needs to do one.

So nothing to do with other people wearing her down.

She's just a vain twunt! And like I said, her content is terrible! She's a role model for nobody. She doesn't accept her looks one bit. She's constantly using filters, refusing to film her face (that clip in IKEA of just her body talking was ridiculous) and now crying over her looks. Goddamn lol
You're very fortunate to never have felt so low about your own appearance or felt so self-conscious and inferior that it's reduced you to tears.

I have cried, many many times over how I look, I've stayed in the house for weeks and months because of how I look.

And I'm not vain I'm just fat and ugly and it isn't vanity that causes my tears it's fear. So afraid to go out in public where people will point or stare or whisper as I walk by.

So maybe you've never cried over looking terrible, I'm happy for you, but some of us do.
 
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nineteenninety3

Active member
Does anyone else think she'll keep her birth entirely private? She won't ever say whether it was a section or not. Most we'll get is a black and white photo of her, jamie, and baby moneymaker in a hospital bed, obviously with her cannulas on show.
 
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Meg78

VIP Member
The only thing that bugs me about these threads are the bitter comments about money, “she doesn’t need the gifted item she’s a millionaire, I worked 87 jobs and I’d have killed for freebies, the company should send it to someone who needs it makes me so angry” etc etc. First of all.... who doesn’t love a freebie?! I’d be ridiculously excited to try out new gadgets, whether I could afford them or not! Bear in mind that girl won’t be anywhere near a millionaire yet, higher rate tax, management and agent fees etc will wipe decent chunks out of her deals, don’t get me wrong I know she’s not exactly on the bread line but she won’t be WAG rich either, if she’s being advised sensibly she’ll be storing as much away as possible to cover them for decades, that’s what I’d do, so if she decides to keep the £100 prep machine instead of giving it away then buying her own, I see it as being sensible with money. Also, companies gift to the large accounts for exposure, advertising at a fraction of the cost, handing out their stock to those less fortunate is an ethically wonderful idea, but the companies aren’t sharing their goods for ethical reasons, it’s financial. So if you can get a women’s shelter or a baby bank up to 2 million followers with a high engagement level, then brilliant news brands will come knocking, but until then, they’ll continue the soulless advertising practices. I understand the point of view that so many of you think it’s unfair she receives free items when she could afford them, but to bitterly compare it to the situation you were in yourself isn’t fair either, yes it’d be lovely if she shared links to baby banks or hygiene banks, highlighted the need for donations, suggested giving them a follow, and it’d be even more amazing to see a selfless act of donating the gifted baby items and buying her own identical copies herself, but be realistic, I can’t see anyone doing that! Name one influencer who gave away their gifted baby freebies and then rebought it themselves, be a bit of a kick in the teeth to the brands, as it’s been pointed out before she’s a business, no way is she going to piss off the ones who write the cheques! I have my own ideas on what I would have done in her situation, perhaps asked that instead of her usual fees, they gift 30 machines to a local baby bank as well as the one for her to use, but I doubt they’d agree to it without advertising they’d done it, and then we’d all moan she’s trying to act like a saint by sharing it publicly, should have done it in private etc, but then how would it appease the mob with pitchforks if she did it privately, seems like a lose lose situation, there’ll be bitterness no matter what she does!

Fully expecting a lynching for having a different opinion now, aaaand back to quietly grumbling about ASA rule flouting I go!
 
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Cupcakemum

VIP Member
Dust hunt ✔
Salad ✔
Mentioned a run way ✔
Reiterated £2 lights ✔
Face with no filter ✔
Show yourself to be a massive cock ✔✔✔
Also featuring..
Showing the dining room table ✔
Sitting on the big patio furniture ✔
Mentioning Jamie walked Henry ✔
Hanging washing out ✔

Next episode ..
Washing a few baby bits
Visiting the storage container
Visiting the garage Narnia
Whipping out Dave for a clockwise clean

Never to be seen..
Honesty
Something funny
Something interesting
Something informative
Safety advice
The use of #ad #gifted used properly
 
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Katya

Well-known member
Can someone pleaseeeee just fill us in on what's happening so the thread doesn't get flooded with "add me to chat" "what's the tea?" and "inbox me hun x"
 
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GossWhore

VIP Member
My friend still follows Mrs Hinch and was wondering
"Do you think she'll talk about the elections today"

I wanted to laugh SO MUCH
Theres no swipe up for the European elections so it's a hard NOPE
 
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raynorxo

Well-known member
Gosh her hinchers must have X-ray eyes as that kitchen drawer hasn’t been opened since last October . A lot of you have been asking where this slidey plastic drawer thingy is from ............
Really ? 🙄
 
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Qwerty6337

Chatty Member
Sometimes it’s not criticism though, sometimes it’s really personal. I do agree with a lot on here, but I tend not to read much anymore as a lot of comments have turned nasty and spiteful 😕 ps. I don’t know what you’ve posted on here so this isn’t personally aimed at you just in general.
There is a lot that is out of bounds because it’s not relevant. Yes some people do discuss things that perhaps don’t relate to what she’s doing but I can guarantee That on at least one occasion everybody in the world has discussed the appearance of about people they know. It’s exactly the same, the only difference is this is on a public forum. That being said, you put yourself in the public eye you open yourself up to scrutiny. She wants to be a celebrity, she has to take the shit that comes with it. People slagged Susan Boyle off for her appearance, people have criticised Katie Price. Why is that okay but poor soph just the hairdresser from Essex gets to heavily filter everything that goes out in the media? Have you not noticed most articles include butterfly selfies taken from her stories? Or fucking Gretel. Anything that she doesn’t like that exposes her as, believe it or not, an actual human being with a proper face without symmetry is removed. She asked for this

As much as I don’t agree with some of the speculation, the same stuff has been said about celebrities. Meghan Markle for example. All the conspiracy articles about her fake bump. These things have already been discussed about celebrities on a much more public basis ie newspapers. It’s celebrity life I’m afraid and if it offends her so much, perhaps she made the wrong choice when she decided to go public to make her millions
 
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Katya

Well-known member
Threads like these turn to absolute shit when we start shaming women for having issues that society has made them have.

We're here to discuss the bad actions of a person, not the problems she will face being a woman.
 
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Qwerty6337

Chatty Member
That tacky garden is like Blackpool bloody illuminations. Surprised she hasn’t set them all up to spell Hinch
 
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