So is today the day the dynamic duo return from their holiday, full of promises of hope, strength and love? Will the adventures of Ron and Hen - Ron in his pyjamas running about in a field, and Hen running about in a field, made possible because he's free of his personalized backpack - continue apace, keeping the sheep locked in their pens as they gaze in wonder at their incredible brotherly bond? Will there be jus-rol, spinach and eggs? Will any ebayers have come fru in Her Ladyship's absence?
Will the loft have been converted into a superior master suite complete with monochrome accessories and an ensuite that will soon be lost in a sea of Flash bathroom?
Or will the radio silence be maintained, thus causing the further decline in the physical and mental health of her followers?
When I was just a little girl, I asked old Freda what will I be?
Will I be pretty, will I be rich?
You'll have to wait and see....
"Oh I'm rich, I'm rich
and I am a lying
witch
You could say I'm Maldon's witch
Oh I'm rich I'm rich!
Then I grew up and married Vest
I sliced his balls off the night we were wed
He doesn't need them, not anymore
That is what my mum said
" Oh I'm rich I'm rich
and I am a lying
witch
You could say I'm Maldon's witch
Oh I'm rich I'm rich!
Now I have children of my own
They ask their Mummaazzz
What will we be?
Will we pimped out for Instagram?
Sold out to all who see
Yes but I'm rich I'm rich
Handsnomes I'm rich I'm rich
Your mummaazz a nasty
witch
but she's rich she's rich
If you Tattling Bastards aren't singing this all day long, I swear I'm going to Home Bargains to buy every last drop of Rose Wonderpiss and I'll bloody drink it!