Poor old Jamie has had a right tit bank holiday hasn’t he . She’s had him running round like a blue arsed fly . Trellis , pub , petrol , garden centAHHH , mow this jet wash that , spray the fence (black over silver birch cuppprynol twice ) pick up dog tit when dorgeous did poo poo for mommas . Up at the crack of dawns arse to get Veruca Salt her golden goose , golden egg chair ,) Jesus did you not know Soph needed B&M on Sundee you could of resurrected from the dead another day) she’s had to wait a day for something , hello! he’s watered fake plants and zoflora’d the real ones , hes
Built a ginormous parasol which looks like it’s hanging by a thread , bet he’s hoping it will drop on her head when she’s sat there thinking what else she can wrap fake ivy round while chugging a delicious filling toad in the hole slimfast shake for breakfast , hung 987 solar lamps and raided the local Chineses’ bins for those two shat lanterns . He just cracks on with it with only a few yes babes , yes mates , a couple of all the bests while awaiting his NHS appointment to surgically remove those bloody buff tings off his feet . She’s all moaning cos she’s covered in paint (cue LOUD laugh) (2 spots of it on her cheek) and she so needs a shower , as sitting crossed legged swinging in an egg chair nibbling dry lucky 25,000 E numbers stars , reading her I love you Sophie dm’s while barking orders must be real hard work . Has spending all that cash this weekend worn you out princess , get your wax melts lit and get cosy in an off the shoulder lounge suit , snuggle down under your 7 #gifted chunky knit merino wool throws , cos you love a night in and who would want to be having fun with friends on a beautiful sunny bank holiday anyway
