Where to start this morning!
Here's a thought Sophie - your kitchen is small but you could take Ronnie in there with you and put him in his high chair so you can see him and talk to him, give him safe things to play with?
Maybe ask Jamie his opinion first on big decisions that involve knocking walls down in the house? Although knowing you, you've already got a kitchen company #gifting you a new one which you will delight in gloating about! ( unlikely there'll be much smell from mugshots though so knock yourself out)
You say you know
you need to cut the grass - a few days ago you had no clue that Jamie was using an ice scraper to clean up bird mess so it's unlikely you'll know what to do with a strimmer and a lawn mower.
Leaving your colouring book open on the page where you've written "Valentine's Day" and "My 30th Birthday" is typical of you and your desperation for attention . No doubt your cretins will be flooding your Instagram account and your mail box with declarations of love, praise, adoration and "you deserve this so much" and the like.
Quite what you've done to deserve it is frankly beyond me. You are first and foremost a con artist. Secondly you're a piss artist, playing nice in your #gifted house and shrieking at your son while you slide down your #gifted stair carpet.
You're a joke. You're the face of P&G and you're an absolute joke.
All the best