Move to Spain, Brighton or where?!

[Likkleone]

Ok, so we have officially sold our house. We made the decision to sell as I have never loved this area and we only moved here due to my partner’s work. He has now worked remotely for 3 years so we’re in a great position to discover somewhere new. We have a 7 month old baby and a large dog.

we have a few options:
- move to Spain with a year’s visa (cannot be guaranteed more than this) so may have to come back after. I don’t speak Spanish although lived there a few years ago. My worry is I’ll be isolated with a baby as I won’t have the baby groups / activities without a barrier. I’m already VERY lonely in this area and would hate to make it worse.

- move to Brighton and settle in but purchase a house whilst prices are still too high and miss out on a potential bargain property in a location we like. We recently saw a property we loved but it was well over priced and the sellers took it off the market as they couldn’t get the price they wanted. (Showing a slow down in market but also that sellers are wanting top money) plus side, I will have plenty to do with little one and we can set some roots down, although is that even needed at this age?

*added dilemma* we’ve really struggled with our dog since baby came home. He’s unfortunately been aggressive towards me Even just a few weeks ago and it’s put me in a position where I cannot begin to trust him with our baby near. If we go to Spain, he’s a long haired big dog and will struggle in the heat. And many rental places do not allow dogs. If we stay in the U.K., we could look at reconfiguring the house to give us more space for the baby to roam and keep the dog separate, as well as look at getting help on his behaviour - we did everything in the book to prepare him, we also did a lot of work whilst she was young but is not dealing with the jealousy well. He is absolutely a part of our family but I have scars from him being too rough with me - I can’t just ignore that….

what would you do in our situation? Spain sounds so obvious but the isolation worries me…

HELP! p.s this is a case of thinking around in circles for weeks now so please be honest

 

[yankydoo]

Will you be lonely in Brighton? Where are your friends and/or family based?

 

[judgejohndeed]

Doesn't sound like either of them are great options if I'm honest, why is it Spain or Brighton? Do you have any links to either of these places?

 

[Likkleone]

Will you be lonely in Brighton? Where are your friends and/or family based?

Hmm I actually don’t know many people in Brighton, but there’s just a bit more I can get involved with in order to meet people. Family nearish me now but they’ve not been very involved with baby so i wouldn’t want to move closer to them.

friends are in london!

Doesn't sound like either of them are great options if I'm honest, why is it Spain or Brighton? Do you have any links to either of these places?

I know… there are way more positives but I’m focusing on the negatives as these are the concerns. But Spain because we are into cycling (lol) and where we would move to is known for this and we love the sun and being outside. Brighton because of the culture and life and there’s WAAAAY more going on than where we are now as well as places to ride not too far away.

we’ve been to both places and love them both! Maybe I’m just worried about being up in the air with a little one!

 

[Pinhead Larry]

Depending on where in Spain you go, it might not be too hard to find other ex pats or people who speak English.
I moved abroad alone for a short while and ended up speaking more with locals who have been taught fluent English in school and were happy to finally use it. On the downside I did move home because it was isolating, but I was completely alone, no partner or kids and i craved some familiarity.
It might be good if you know it’s only going to be for a year or so and it gives you time to properly think about what you want going forward long term. I’m sure you’d have family and friends keen to come over and visit too

I’ll be interested to see other peoples opinions and what you will do in this situation as I find myself in a similar one right now.

 

[Rosie glow]

Re the dog would you want to rehome ? I was bitten by my aunts previously placid dog when I was very young as it was jealous I was getting attention and he wasn't I'm 43 now and still scared if a dog jumps up or runs towards me. Doesn't matter how well trained a dog is they can be unpredictable

 

[Notworthy]

I'd definitely consider abroad now while baby is young just for the experience although I'd do a bit more research. Personally if you like outdoors I'd suggest Austria or Italy but then I'm a massive fan of Austria anyway. Brighton is OK but think there are better options. Horsham is a lovely town or Chichester/West Wittering. Alternatively Broadstairs or somewhere on the coast. There is now a fast train into London from Ramsgate and Broadstairs
ETA My mum had to hand her dog to my grandparents when I was born, Danny hated me and it wasn't worth the risk given my mum owned a stable yard and had to get on with work so couldn't stand over me or the dog the entire time. Danny was part of our childhood still though

 

[rainbowlemon]

I would go with Brighton, as your friends are based in London. It’s only 1.5 hours away. You do need support too in the form of the all groups.

 

[Clickbait]

It would be helpful for you to consider what you’re looking for from the move. If you were to buy somewhere would it still be a temporary move for example? Otherwise you’ll need to consider nursery and school catchment areas.

Renting somewhere you have not lived before is often a good idea because you can find whilst somewhere is great to visit - often in Summer with good weather and friends - it is a different experience to live there. I’d put Brighton into this category personal

If you want to try living abroad now is a good time, although worth investigating if there will be more issues with Brits moving to/living there post-Brexit in terms of documentation, finances etc. Also do you think you’ll actually get much time to go cycling with a young baby if you have no babysitting support over there? Likewise spending lots of time outside.

Understanding your motivators, your budget and the practicalities and timescale will help focus you on whether Spain or Brighton are actually suitable.

 

[yogiessexdubs]

I would re-home the dog and go to Brighton (I'd prefer Hove personally speaking).

 

[laughing]

Brighton is not as nice as it used to be.

Have a look at Eastbourne

 

[Former_Antelopee]

I just want to say with people saying you should rehome the dog. You seem very sensible with regards to the dog situation so don’t know why people automatically say he should be rehomed. If the behavioural help doesn’t work then at least you tried it. But also if you choice rehoming then I also don’t see an issue with that if it’s through the right methods. I hate when people get hate for rehoming animals when it’s best not only for the owner but the animal. I’d rather someone rehome an animal that can go to a better suited home than waste the animals short life living somewhere that’s not suited to it. I rehomed my Guinea pigs after a few weeks of having them as I found I didn’t have the time I thought I did to look after them. I felt bad but they went to a lovely lady who has had Guinea pigs for years and are going to be in a massive enclosure with some other Guinea pigs. I know they’ll have a better life there than what I could’ve given them.

Would you be able to go to Spain for say a few weeks/a month to see if you like it there before you decide to move?

 

[nachoproblem23]

We've been in the situation with an aggressive dog with a young baby in the house and it's not fun so I definitely feel for you. That being said, we did not feel comfortable keeping the dog and rehomed. It honestly was a massive relief. I know that's not a popular take and had we not had kids, we would have made more of an effort to retrain the dog. But we do have kids and it wasn't worth the risk of one of them being attacked to us.

 

[Fizzwhizz2020]

I’ve got family and friends in Spain and it’s so easy to meet people out there, especially with young children. My best friend is from the UK and she had both kids there and they go to school/nursery and it’s a real melting pot of nationalities. There’s loads for them to do too. Even simple things like going to the pool/beach etc. I’d give Spain a go as it’s a lovely way of life. Plus, you can pick up the language relatively quickly when you’re there x