Money related - Home Deposit - Bank of Mum and Dad/ self-earned/ inheritance

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I've never told anyone this (IRL)- but here's my story.
I bought my detached house in 2015. On my own.
It was £153k.
I paid in cash.
All my own money- I didn't have (and refused) a penny from anyone. If that makes me sound smug and superior, read on.....

I'd lived all my life at home with my mother. She had chronic post-natal depression with me, so much so that my dad walked out, she had blamed me for it and since that age I had been the "man of the house" (I'm male BTW). I was never "allowed" to go on a holiday, buy clothes, even buy food for myself as it would send her into a depressed state. But I put up with it as it was all I'd ever known.
Had my first nervous breakdown at 17. Went to Uni (local as I wasn't "allowed" to move out) and got a job. After a few years I had a decent salary (£45k at one point, less now). I literally had no life though- no friends, nothing to spend money on (I remember buying a £4 kebab one night on my way back from work and mum crying as I had "no idea about money"- I was paying her rent and food costs, didn't sped any other money).
If I wanted clothes I was expected to buy them from a charity shop. I was a manager at work and expected to wear suits/ smart clothes.

Anyway- after having another breakdown in 2015 (a bad one- I ended up in A&E after seriously suicidal thoughts and exhaustion) I decided that I would move out. It had never been discussed, and I was 36 at this point. My entire life was about what my mother wanted. The counsellors I had after my breakdown described it as domestic/emotional abuse.

So long story short- yes, I saved enough money over 10 years to buy a house outright, but my God it cost me a lot. And I wish I'd have moved out 20 years earlier and struggled.
💜💜. Wow, you’ve been through so much but also achieved so much! You should feel proud about overcoming such horrendous obstacles. Resilience is such a wonderful thing to have and you will have it in spades! Hopefully you’ve found some peace now.
 
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I've never told anyone this (IRL)- but here's my story.
I bought my detached house in 2015. On my own.
It was £153k.
I paid in cash.
All my own money- I didn't have (and refused) a penny from anyone. If that makes me sound smug and superior, read on.....

I'd lived all my life at home with my mother. She had chronic post-natal depression with me, so much so that my dad walked out, she had blamed me for it and since that age I had been the "man of the house" (I'm male BTW). I was never "allowed" to go on a holiday, buy clothes, even buy food for myself as it would send her into a depressed state. But I put up with it as it was all I'd ever known.
Had my first nervous breakdown at 17. Went to Uni (local as I wasn't "allowed" to move out) and got a job. After a few years I had a decent salary (£45k at one point, less now). I literally had no life though- no friends, nothing to spend money on (I remember buying a £4 kebab one night on my way back from work and mum crying as I had "no idea about money"- I was paying her rent and food costs, didn't sped any other money).
If I wanted clothes I was expected to buy them from a charity shop. I was a manager at work and expected to wear suits/ smart clothes.

Anyway- after having another breakdown in 2015 (a bad one- I ended up in A&E after seriously suicidal thoughts and exhaustion) I decided that I would move out. It had never been discussed, and I was 36 at this point. My entire life was about what my mother wanted. The counsellors I had after my breakdown described it as domestic/emotional abuse.

So long story short- yes, I saved enough money over 10 years to buy a house outright, but my God it cost me a lot. And I wish I'd have moved out 20 years earlier and struggled.
Thats really tough - I hope you've found happiness ❤
 
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I live and work in London since I moved here 20 years ago. You would be surprised how many people are well paid in City of London to be able to afford properties. I dont doubt for a second that many had help from families and many properties in London are owned by old money but for what i know, 90% of the colleagues have more than one property in London and mostly through their own salary/saving. The average salary before bonus in City of London is now 70K meaning a couple should be able to buy a 500K flat after a few years saving. And this is not high flying industries like bankers or lawyers who could buy faster.
I received 20k when my grandma died last year so am putting that towards a deposit. We are putting down a 10% deposit and had an offer accepted last week on a 167k property however we have spoken to 2 mortgage advisors this week and they both told us not to bother 😫 both said the market is so bad with 10% deposits and we should continue to save and buy next year. Now we don't know what to do.
Sorry to hear that. It definitely would be frustrating but keep saving and you’ll get there.
I’m not looking to move but I did do a nosy and noticed that RBS/Natwest all appear to be looking for 20% deposits 😳😳 When we bought it was 5% deposit but not the mad “government owns a slice of your property” ones. Very fortunate timing as 20% deposit would have killed us.
 
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We bought our 3 bed new build 2 years ago for £135,000 using a 5% deposit which we saved ourselves by living with parents and help to buy equity loan. Although we did have to move 30 mins out of the city we live and work in and commute. My grandparents also gave us 5k to buy flooring, appliances, etc
After a 16k inheritance last year and saving we now have enough to pay off help to buy and we are looking to upgrade to a 4 bed detached property.
 
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We bought our 3 bed new build 2 years ago for £135,000 using a 5% deposit which we saved ourselves by living with parents and help to buy equity loan. Although we did have to move 30 mins out of the city we live and work in and commute. My grandparents also gave us 5k to buy flooring, appliances, etc
After a 16k inheritance last year and saving we now have enough to pay off help to buy and we are looking to upgrade to a 4 bed detached property.
Where do you live?! o_Oo_Oo_O
 
We got our first property when I was 21 by my partners parents remortgaging their property. They brought a 3 bed ex council house with the proceeds. We then paid them 'rent' on this and we did all the renovation work on it ourselves, and then when it was sold when we wanted to move, we were gifted the profit made (£80k) as we had paid over £25k in rent + reno costs. We had car finance on two cars plus a small loan so we paid them off and have put down the rest : £50k (27.5%) on our 4 bed detached house, the mortgage is over a very long term though so that we have low monthly payments for now and can keep saving, so that we can hopefully pay big chunks off every time we have to renegotiate.
 
Has anyone bought their council house?
We hope to buy ours in a few years time.
The longer you are a council tenant the bigger the discount. A colleague of mine bought his council house and as he got a large discount he didn't need a deposit with his bank as the discount was effectively the deposit.
I'm from the South and our council's rules state that if you were to sell the property within a fixed period (less than 4 years i believe) then we would have to sell it back to the council.
 
We hope to buy ours in a few years time.
The longer you are a council tenant the bigger the discount. A colleague of mine bought his council house and as he got a large discount he didn't need a deposit with his bank as the discount was effectively the deposit.
I'm from the South and our council's rules state that if you were to sell the property within a fixed period (less than 4 years i believe) then we would have to sell it back to the council.
Thank you. I’d heard you didn’t need much of a deposit.
I’d get maximum discount as been a tenant for more years than I care to remember!
I would be able to afford the rent but don’t think I would get a mortgage on my salary?
 
Thank you. I’d heard you didn’t need much of a deposit.
I’d get maximum discount as been a tenant for more years than I care to remember!
I would be able to afford the rent but don’t think I would get a mortgage on my salary?
Thats exactly the same with me, my rent is low for a 3 bedroom terraced but I wouldn't be able to get a mortgage on my salary. It'll happen but not just yet 😒
 
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Thats exactly the same with me, my rent is low for a 3 bedroom terraced but I wouldn't be able to get a mortgage on my salary. It'll happen but not just yet 😒
I know nothing about mortgages. I wonder if they would take the equity into account when deciding if you could afford the repayments? Massively regret not buying years ago but circumstances were different then
 
Rented since I was 18, over 9 years.
Never been in the position to buy and I don't have any inheritance from grandparents, my mum and dad aren't around either so no handouts.

I missed out on a lot in my early 20s as my friends lived at home and were not paying keep etc and I've had to prioritise at least half my wages on rent and bills before I could even think about socialising 😂 depending on the job I had I'd end up with nothing left after payday.

Been in a good job for a couple of years now. My boyfriend and I are steadily saving to buy however this isnt going to happen overnight as he lives at home and his parents aren't in the position to be gifting money so probably going to take around 3-5 years for us to get a solid deposit.

It's hard not to feel a little jealous of my friends who have been gifted deposits but we're using our journey as an adventure and it'll all be worth it in the end! The house that I rent is nice but I now understand why people want somewhere to call their OWN and I cant wait for the day we get a set of keys to a forever home! (We're on rightmove like every other day manifesting 😂)
 
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I’m lucky enough to have parents living on the outskirts of London. I moved back in with them after university at 21 when I started my graduate job in the city and paid them £500 a month for rent and keep as agreed and saving circa £300 a month. After three years I had just over £10k saved from my own money and my parents told me they had held the rent I’d been paying them in a separate account and had always planned to return it to me as part of my deposit. Bought a one bed shoebox sized flat in an ‘up and coming’ (ie very dodgy but on the edge of a good area) bit of London in Zone 2 and lived there for 11 years. It was a horrible flat but I never really cared!

Thanks to gentrification and years of repairs and love I sold it three years ago for nearly double what I paid for it. Now live in a lovely big flat in a suburb 10 minutes from my parents and am forever grateful to them for their generosity!
 
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Where do you live?! o_Oo_Oo_O
South wales!
House prices are cheaper than London, obviously :LOL: but not as cheap as some places. My best friend lives in north england and they bought their first home for £100k last year and its bigger than my new build!
 
South wales!
House prices are cheaper than London, obviously :LOL: but not as cheap as some places. My best friend lives in north england and they bought their first home for £100k last year and its bigger than my new build!
I’ve yet to ever see a new build (or any!) 3 bedroom house for that cheap where I live :cry: Different areas even in SW vary massively as well - in the valleys I’ve seen some houses for as little as £80k!
 
I gifted my son his deposit, have told him it’s an advance if his inheritance.

I saved my own deposit years ago and bought a 2 bed that was falling to bits, my son has been able to buy a new build semi. I only have 1 child and didn’t want him to struggle, he is really grateful and knows he has been lucky.
 
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Age 40 here and husband 47
We live South west city so quite expensive
4kids.
Brought house nearly 2 years ago.
Had income single of 48k a year but between paying rent and the kids and paying off old debts from last recession we could never save.
Mil died 5 years ago we kept a massive chunk aside in savings.
Brought a new 2nd hand car as last one was on it last legs.
Took 1st family holiday abroad
Issue we had mortgages was most we could borrow was 190k in principle.
You can't buy a flat for that here.
We put down 22% deposit 54k and brought a doer upper which wiped out our savings.
We so glad we brought it's 40 quid more than previous rent but a lot less than new details In same postcode 3 bed rentals here 1000pcm plus.

We estimate by end 2020 we would have spent 10k on renovations/ decorating, landscaping non-existent garden, new ceiling and wall. New guttering? Fascia as and fencing it's been more costly than we thought.
Thankfully we been able do most of worm ourselves and cash flow from salary.
We quite frugal we hardly ever go out.
Takeaways a treat
We only run 1 car
We shop at aldis/ lilds , meal plan batch cook and shop from scratch.
We shoo around best deals and 90% clothing 2nd hand.
Despite all that we would not have been able save up decent deposit and our age was going against us .
We felt very lucky and wonder how people do it.
We cant afford to move so hope yo remortage and extend.
Need to start proper savings account for the kids.
 
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My partner and I saved for our deposit in London, we have a 2 bed new build flat. We also had a help to buy ISA which we used for 3 years and we got about 4k from the bonus from that too which was helpful.
I am probably in the wrong part of London 😭 can I send you my CV 😂 😝
LOL me too - I defintely do not earn 70k 🤣
 
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I bought my house as a solo buyer around 3 years ago. I’m really lucky with the area that I live - got a 2 bed semi with a decent sized garden for £118K, new build so got the 5% deposit through the help to buy scheme.

One chunk of my deposit came from a fairly sizeable tax rebate after being shafted by the tax man, another chunk was savings for a trip I changed my mind on, and the rest I saved myself. Didn’t have any help from parents for the deposit, fees etc, but they did help me out with furnishing the house. I’d always lived with them so didn’t have any furniture whatsoever and it’s fairly expensive to furnish a house from scratch!
 
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