MOD & FOD #33 Bots a plenty, we're under attack. Don't blame me I've been hacked hacked!

[FrannyGallops]

They can’t retire... what will I do in my evenings during lockdown?!

Yes, exactly! I can’t see how he can come back from this, but I hope he does. The OD’s were my very first IG hate watch.
Call me evil, but I want to see FOD going slowly mad, looking older and more and more harassed as his IG goes on the inevitable downside.

 

[Spoke]

I want to witness him performing to a solo Texas hun who’s forgotten her password and can’t unfollow him

 

[Howdy]

Doubt they'll quit Insta, they are too arrogant and addicted to it, it's a massive part of their life or at least still his. What would he do with himself if not writing long over egged and unsophisticated metaphors?! They won't ever admit defeat even if they lose all dignity.

 

[Pocahontas]

Every night on FOD’s insta for his one remaining Texas hun.

 

[Bizziebody]

omg I'm betting it's a multi picture slideshow accompanied by inspiring story about being a teenage father and how it's taken him 10+ years but he's finally settling into his truest formation of blissful fatherhood perfection. Starts with thoroughly monetisable baby pics of him and the twins, throw backs to the glory days on ££ holidays with the work horse children, and final slide his current day self with ~inspiring picture of token BAME hockey/bike club member who he's never spoken to before.

OR he'll go rogue ala house de la clunge and just post a picture of the racist missus and the furloughed kids having surprised him with new spindles.

OR it will be a picture of HIM beavering away on the spindles with the little Earners larking around with an electric sander or drill behind him.

 

[Emmadale]

He’s got to be making a come back cos why else is he buying more bleeping followers! Social blade is showing he’s lost 52 followers in the last 24 hours. I checked earlier today and he was over 100 down (which is bull tit) in the last 24 hours! The desperate twit is coming back

That will be the hackers buying them surely?!

 

[Titfer]

oh god, is it bad I actually feel quite sorry for them... Like I imagine you'd have to be quite a small town soul to find anything about that family aspirational, *especially* now?

Also I'm probs 20 pages too late, I've loved reading the thread and catching up during my many many late night wees, but read that pink thread article and it struck me how...really sad and pointless my life would feel if I pursued the ~you can have it all expensive wallpaper AND kids AND be cool~ narrative?

This is probs hypocritical because I'm not a buddhist monk I obvs do want for things and am a snob about a lot of things myself so may ye without sin caste the first stone nd all that. But what struck me reading her interview is...the pursuit of stuff for stuff's sake? The wallpaper because it's been seen in this hotel's loos / is £140 a roll / their friends will pose in front of it and put it on insta, like items aren't valued on their own merit or utility it's just super status orientated - like being at school?! It seems super unhealthy and not a very 'present' way of living, like constantly yearning for the next hype item to outshine everyone else.

Yes! As a parent of teens (and a wee one) I understand the pressure they feel to conform to the expectations and I must admit I do indulge it a wee bit, because my parents couldn't!

The freedom of being older and liking/buying things because you genuinely love them and not having to follow the crowd. And mostly having to buy things because we need them.

 

[Axatogrind]

I made a gif of Clemmie's flounce, just testing to see whether this works

 

[Consumerism_fatigue]

I’m actually full of suspense now for tomorrow to see if he posts....!

My bet is that he’ll have a photo of him and the kids (photo by Glen) looking blissful, with a long caption about how with all the awful things goings on it the world and the necessary changes in society, he’s been grateful to take this time in lockdown to TRULY be there with his family. He’s stepped away from social media and put down his phone. They’ve had difficult family conversations about racism, Corona virus and sponsorships. He’s realised what’s important in life and guess what, they’re in that room with him right there. His whole world. And how in this time he’s also mastered how to be an effective ally to ALL minorities AND has become an interior designer. OH AND a bot warrior. On a solo mission to beat the hackers.

 

[washyourhands]

I’m actually full of suspense now for tomorrow to see if he posts....!

My bet is that he’ll have a photo of him and the kids (photo by Glen) looking blissful, with a long caption about how with all the awful things goings on it the world and the necessary changes in society, he’s been grateful to take this time in lockdown to TRULY be there with his family. He’s stepped away from social media and put down his phone. They’ve had difficult family conversations about racism, Corona virus and sponsorships. He’s realised what’s important in life and guess what, they’re in that room with him right there. His whole world. And how in this time he’s also mastered how to be an effective ally to ALL minorities AND has become an interior designer. OH AND a bot warrior. On a solo mission to beat the hackers.

.....and then, in the comments, he’ll feck it all up again by referencing clunge or something

 

[Bigmouth_bigpants]

FOD will be the last man standing on Instagram.

In 2052, as they prepare to cease running the platform, it’s programmers find one solitary account still producing content.

They log on to find a selfie video of a bedraggled pensioner, talking in tongues, his burton Jorts around his ankles, cuddling a ball of his children’s hair bands that he has affectionately named Clementine.

His face resembles a walnut. His hands withered and crooked from decades of smartphone usage. He resides in a derelict, draughty pile of bricks on the Kent coast and spends his days pacing the dimly lit rooms, filming himself as he goes, wailing into the void as he yearns for days gone by.

He is a sad shell of a man. He is without the comfort and warmth of close friends and family. He is destined to live out his final lonely days in an ex-Dentist’s surgery.

He is... Father of Daughters.

 

[frostily]

FOD will be the last man standing on Instagram.

In 2052, as they prepare to cease running the platform, it’s programmers find one solitary account still producing content.

They log on to find a selfie video of a bedraggled pensioner, talking in tongues, his burton Jorts around his ankles, cuddling a ball of his children’s hair bands that he has affectionately named Clementine.

His face resembles a walnut. His hands withered and crooked from decades of smartphone usage. He resides in a derelict, draughty pile of bricks on the Kent coast and spends his days pacing the dimly lit rooms, filming himself as he goes, wailing into the void as he yearns for days gone by.

He is a sad shell of a man. He is without the comfort and warmth of close friends and family. He is destined to live out his final lonely days in an ex-Dentist’s surgery.

He is... Father of Daughters.

Then, at the last few minutes of the video, a twin will come in, and gently walk him away, before turning off the video.

FIN

 

[Pocahontas]

What about future Glen in the year 2052.

Well, she’s found a new career in farshan and bewdy:

 

[Titfer]

We see you FOD

 

[Affiliatemebaby]

I’m actually full of suspense now for tomorrow to see if he posts....!

My bet is that he’ll have a photo of him and the kids (photo by Glen) looking blissful, with a long caption about how with all the awful things goings on it the world and the necessary changes in society, he’s been grateful to take this time in lockdown to TRULY be there with his family. He’s stepped away from social media and put down his phone. They’ve had difficult family conversations about racism, Corona virus and sponsorships. He’s realised what’s important in life and guess what, they’re in that room with him right there. His whole world. And how in this time he’s also mastered how to be an effective ally to ALL minorities AND has become an interior designer. OH AND a bot warrior. On a solo mission to beat the hackers.

This is basically his post. He’ll be making furious notes as he reads.

 

[Consumerism_fatigue]

This is basically his post. He’ll be making furious notes as he reads.

I don’t think I’ll ever come up with a good thread title so ghost-writing terrible captions might be my calling

 

[Motherthreebeige]

@Axatogrind that gif is gold. I am lying in bed without my glasses. Thought the white couch thing was the bathtub in the backyard.

 

[Mangofruity]

I made a gif of Clemmie's flounce, just testing to see whether this works

It's begging for a caption!

 

[Bizziebody]

Sadly by 2052 I expect I will be pushin up daisies or to old to care about the demise of poor old f0dster, but something to look forward to.

 

[AmeliaFatFace]

Still buying bots so it’s a long old slog down again, but we will get there...963k for now...small victories

Back up to 964k now