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caitlinbullen

VIP Member
Yay she replied and my comment it got 30 likes! Yes...I am Katie Stobbart and yes that's my real name, and yes I am happy to share it because whatever I say on this forum I would say anywhere...because I'm NOT a troll, I'm NOT abusive and actually if my posts appeared in a google search to a future employer do you know what I think they'd reflect who I am anyway- clever, articulate, wickedly funny and really really modest 😆🙋‍♀️
 

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Slatternly

Chatty Member
Fod must be sitting on his hands at the moment what with the possibility of being outnumbered in a quarantine situation. These are my content predictions for when he comes back.

1. A serious post about looking after ones loved ones and taking pleasure in small things during these hard times.

2. A picture of a deserted b and q which will allow for all manner of fod dancing.

3. A kitchen disco featuring the twins to while away the minutes.

4. Mother’s Day. A lovingly prepared tray to take to mod. Except she won’t feature as she’s in the attic rocking backwards and forward mumbling.

5. A serious post about intelligent, middle class ways of entertaining your middle class children. This will feature wooden board games and books.

6. Isn’t it useful to have gousto now the shops are all shut?


Have I missed any?
 

captainhelix

Well-known member
Can you imagine him sitting with his private school career advisor when he was 16; “What are your career plans; your aspirations for the future?”

Well Sir, I‘d like to be filming myself in public places and sharing it with strangers, generally arsing about in exchange for free gifts. I would like kids as well, so that I can use them in my silly videos in exchange for loads of money. Ultimately Sir, I’d like ’To be big in Iran.’ “
Next thread title- MOD and FOD: Big in Iran
 

MarmiteExtract

VIP Member
Anyone else think Fods new cover photo looks like he’s emerging from a vagina? 10cm dilated! Maybe this is the subtle Clammie come back and she’s stood this side just waiting to catch him 🤔
Your comment has reminded me of that time he filmed himself crawling out of a cupboard, pretending he was a baby being born. And Clemmie was there having to pretend to deliver him and looking like she wanted to die. Sometimes I remember the surreal shit the two of them posted and I can’t quite tell if it’s real life.
 

Slatternly

Chatty Member
No, that’s Boris’ method 😅


Yes to this, FOD is a big babied dullard! My kids are also having a massively privileged upbringing compared to mine and my husband’s, but I don’t want them be characterless twerps! I want them to have a bit of sauce about them. I try not to lean on all of the new found comfort of our lives, and give them a bit of grit. They’re told no, they’re told there are no alternatives, they’re told to find out for themselves. I can just imagine a pampered kid-FOD, having no clue about the way people live in the real world, buying fisherman pants in Thailand and thinking he’s worldly. I blame the parents!

OMG Yes!!! He is soooo Thailand! I can imagine him on his gap year in Thailand in fisherman’s pants, vomiting at a full moon party with his hooray Henry friends with names like ‘johnno.’ Desperately trying time be cool by experimenting with magic mushroom pizzas. You can tell all this just by observing the fact he wears a beanie hat. I have an irrational hatred of men who wear beanie hats.

Can you imagine if someone appeared on here saying ‘I shagged fod in ko Samui in 2003. Ask me anything.’
 

Slatternly

Chatty Member
14. It’s 2007 and Fod goes speed dating in the city. Top class banter ensues ‘I never go north of the river me.’ (Not realising the city is north of the river. ) I just love the vibe in south London: Brixton I just love, so many cool bars.’ ‘I love France and used to go there every summer as a child’ ‘ I loved uuuuuuni’ ‘I love garage, jungle and hard house and have my own decks’ ‘I just love women. I get on really well with women’ and then he gets drunker and drunker....he wakes up naked on a traffic island and someone has stolen his phone and mini disc player containing all his home DJ sets.
 

Dogmuck

VIP Member
They pretend to despise it but really they love it. Mine has started to ask what the latest fuckwittery fod has been up to..
I’d gone to bed at 8pm last night (Coronavirus) and woke at 3am...couldn’t get on to Tattle, Googling the shit out of things, on twitter on Facebook...nothing. When my hubby came down about 8am, first thing I said “they’ve closed down Tattle” like Id just found out I’d been sacked or had to have my foot amputated. I was surprised he started on about how disgusting it was as this was censorship of free speech. He then googled and found that it hadn’t been shut down...but I was quite chuffed he cared...especially as most of the time he’s talking to me I’m ignoring him and writing on here...just like now 😂😂😂
 

Cabbagepatch

Chatty Member
I’m so confused. How do people find this funny, entertaining, light relief?
Ooh this is so hilarious. It’s made my day. My kids will be off school for 6 months, my friends and family are becoming ill, possibly dying, we have no pasta and using The Sun to
Wipe our arses. Our holiday is cancelled. Probably not covered on insurance. But thank FOD for you FOD! All my cares and worries have now vanished thanks to you and your dazzling whit.
 
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I also fell into an Alice hole. Look what she wrote in response to a comment on how gross the thoughts of her and FOD going at it was !

She pretends shes making fun of the OPs typo (writing organisms not orgasm) but what if it was a cry for help?

Maybe she was trying to tell us that everytime FOD goes for a nibble downstairs that hes too busy blowing whistles into her lady garden and draping it in Christmas lights to achieve the desired result?!
 

Slatternly

Chatty Member
I fucking hate jo wicks too. I can’t bear the thought of 3 months of instakiddies doing this shite and the mummies banging on about how much they hurt the next day. Covid19 insta mummy bingo:

1. It’s 3pm time for wine!
2. This is what a teacher told me about home learning, don’t be so hard on yourself.
3. Jo fuvking wicks
4. A meme with a lockdown poem on it


This is all I’ve got so far. I love the fact they’ve been starved of content like a virus during lockdown.
 
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