Miscarriage

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Pink Sparkle

*possible trigger *
Hi
At Christmas I had a miscarriage. Unfortunately there was no heartbeat and still haven’t passed everything. I’m due back to work this week but do not feel at all ready. I work for children’s services and the thought of speaking to families and sorting their problems out is making me feel incredibly anxious.
how long did people take off if they experienced this? I know it’s a everyone’s different situation, I just need to confirm to myself that’s it’s ok to take some time to recover! Thank you x
 
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Lulu Goss

So sorry to hear that, I would definitely take time off if you’re not ready to go back to work yet. Could you get signed off by a GP who knows what’s happened? I haven’t experienced it myself but managed someone who went through similar, she ended up being off for about a month before she was ready to return to work
 
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awreader

Sorry for your loss. If you're not ready to return - then don't. It will affect your quality of work and you will feel resentment towards those who have children and don't treat them well etc (more so than normal). I had a late loss and returned to work after 2 weeks - although I should have waited longer, I felt 2 weeks of repair physically was enough to get me back into work and take my mind off it. x
 
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Countrygirl321

Oh I am so sorry to hear this hun. There is no way you are ready to return to work especially if you have not passed everything yet. Unfortunately I’ve been there 3 times before, first and 2nd times I carried on and didn’t take any time off. I had a miscarriage on 11th November and still don’t feel ready to go back to work. I really hurt my back passing the sac - I was about ten weeks along and the sac was measuring big. I let my body do everything without intervention but in hindsight I should’ve went to the hospital because I really hurt myself. Emotionally I’m a wreck and so full of anxiety. I just don’t feel ready to face the world. I hope you are ok, if you need to ask any questions please don’t be afraid. Just take your time. Put yourself first. Try not to worry about work and hopefully they will be sympathetic and understanding. Sending you some strength for the days ahead.
 
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Mountrushmoor

I’m so sorry you are going through this, it is the single most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever gone through in my life and I don’t think the grief of this kind of loss gets spoken about enough. I miscarried in April 2019 after bleeding for 11 days and was given a 50/50 chance of successful pregnancy. It took me so long to come to terms with it. I took four weeks off work in total. I work for a mental health charity so they were very understanding and even offered me therapy which helped, looking back I probably should have taken more time off but after a few weeks I felt like I wanted the structure and normality of work. You need to take the time to grieve and your body needs to recover - physically and mentally. Don’t go back until you are ready - only you can know when that is, like you say, everyone is different. Take your time and don’t be afraid to seek help and support if you need it.
 
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Blonde123

I’m so sorry. There is nothing like losing a baby .
Keep an eye on the physical side of things. I hadn’t passed everything straight away, altogether it took about 5weeks for me and I ended up getting an infection and having to go into hospital twice until it all got sorted. I was off work until just after this as didn’t want to bleed at work. First day back in work someone brought their newborn in and it felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. Never experienced anything as difficult. You will get through this and it’s ok to take some time off. Look after yourself and speak to someone if you feel like you want some extra support, sending you lots of love x
 
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Rosie878

I lost at 13 weeks last year and took 2 weeks off. I wouldn’t take any less than 2 weeks. I needed a week for physical and then a week to process it emotionally (although obvs it took a lot longer...) that was with a v supportive work environment and no triggers of working with children/families.

I’m so sorry for your loss xxx
 
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Tui

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my first pregnancy in April and it was the most devastating experience of my life. I had just over 2 weeks off from the onset of bleeding, although the miscarriage wasn’t diagnosed until I had a private scan on day 9 as the EPAU refused to see me. This was in the first lockdown. Part of my reason for going back was that I was home alone all day in lockdown with nowhere to go and no one to see, where I work there are no children/babies and the pregnant women were all WFH so I felt safe enough going back. If it was now I’d probably have taken longer. Definitely do not go back until you feel very ready to, going back too early will be a very difficult experience
 
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xoxo GG

I’m so sorry. Not a miscarriage but I did have a stillbirth so I was entitled to my maternity leave. Out of my entitlement I did only take two months and I definitely rushed back for so many different reasons but I wasn’t ready whatsoever.

Not only are you going to be grieving but you are also going to go through a long and difficult time physically and as such need to give yourself time to recover. It is absolutely ok to take some time away from work, I think especially given that you still haven’t passed everything that it would be better to be at home over experience it at work.

Only you know what is right for you. Don’t feel any pressure to return to ‘normality’ until you’re ready to face it. Sending you all my love x
 
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Definitelyme

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Many years ago I had a miscarriage, found out on the Friday and tried to go back to work (as a teacher) on the Monday. I broke down during the day and sobbed to my principal, and took the week off. I felt OK to go back after that, but everyone is different. Take the time you need, because it’s too much otherwise.
 
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Lollipop2123

Hi. So sorry to hear this. I only had a few days off and I massively regret it. I needed and still need more time. Take as long as you need - it's a huge shock mentally and physically. X
 
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Pink Sparkle

Thank you to everyone who reached out. I’m so sorry that you have also been through this. I really didn’t realised the physical and emotional toll it takes on somebody.
my doctor has signed me off for two weeks and my manager was an absolute star about this. Now I can see I do need this time and not rush back into chaotic life. Thank you everyone X
 
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Sticky One

Im really sorry for your loss. I’m glad you have some time off. Look after yourself xxx
 
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Niamhm

I'm sorry for your loss! I took 2 weeks off and that was right for me. Glad work are so understanding, take this time to grieve and feel all the feelings
 

Macmama

I am so sorry for your loss. I had two weeks off, and even then it was a push, but I did feel better once I was back at work. Please take care of yourself
 

Tui

I’m glad your boss has been understanding - mine was too and it makes the world of difference. It is a real bereavement and the grief process can be pretty brutal and isolating at times so be kind to yourself and take all the time you need
 
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Blonde123

Sending you lots of love. Be kind to yourself and take your time xx
 
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