Miscarriage/Baby Loss

[watermelon sugar]

Hi, I just came across this thread and was hoping for some comfort / advice.

I recently had an early miscarriage at 8 weeks, only myself, my fiancé, a friend and his mother knew. The pregnancy was a shock, we weren’t trying as our wedding and festivities are coming up in 2023. (We’d probably try soon after)
Although, this baby wasn’t planned and it wasn’t the best timing I cannot help but feel so empty and upset.
My mother has passed away so no comfort from her but my fiancés mother has been so unhelpful and hurtful, stating that this baby would have been an inconvenience, it wasn’t really a pregnancy as it was such an early loss, I shouldn’t be feeling this way etc.
I know I will be better soon and maybe it wasn’t the right timing but I just don’t understand her comments!
Has anyone else had to deal with this sort of thing? I’m not sure how to approach it or to just ignore from now on in? I just wish my mother was here right now.

hi, I’m so so sorry for your loss 🤍 no matter how early it may be you grow so attached and wonder and pine for the life that may be.
i recently went through a miscarriage in May then I had a second in August exactly 3 months apart. My MIL has been a bit crappy with her reaction, similar to yours, when she found the news out she said ‘maybe you shouldn’t have even bothered trying’ and (I’ve already got one child) ‘I wouldn’t want another grandchild anyway because (child number 1) is my favourite’ she’s just been completely insensitive and quite hurtful with her comments. Having a miscarriage at anytime is grieving and if someone isn’t helping, distance yourself away from them, I’ve found that that’s what’s helped. I’ve just let my partner go and see her whilst I’m still struggling because her comments don’t help me at all.

i hope you’re ok, baby loss is so hard, go easy on yourself 🤍 xxx

 

[CallMeHollywood]

So glad I’ve found this thread. I’m going through my second chemical at the moment and I feel empty. It was only just under 4 weeks but it felt like a lifetime.
I’m putting it down to being overweight and 35.

Nhs appears to not be worried unless you’ve got a lot of bleeding, which I’m kind of done with now, so I don’t plan to get a checkup. I hadn’t even called me book an eight week scan.

I need to be levelheaded about this but I feel almost angry. I just wish things were easier.

 

[watermelon sugar]

So glad I’ve found this thread. I’m going through my second chemical at the moment and I feel empty. It was only just under 4 weeks but it felt like a lifetime.
I’m putting it down to being overweight and 35.

Nhs appears to not be worried unless you’ve got a lot of bleeding, which I’m kind of done with now, so I don’t plan to get a checkup. I hadn’t even called me book an eight week scan.

I need to be levelheaded about this but I feel almost angry. I just wish things were easier.

Sorry to hear that lovely, have you spoken to the nhs and found out whether they can investigate as it’s been 2 now? I’m not sure what the rules are with a chemical though. Hope you’re doing ok, it’s hard and being angry is a totally normal reaction x

 

[CallMeHollywood]

Sorry to hear that lovely, have you spoken to the nhs and found out whether they can investigate as it’s been 2 now? I’m not sure what the rules are with a chemical though. Hope you’re doing ok, it’s hard and being angry is a totally normal reaction x

I’ve not spoken to anyone - I hate making a fuss if I can handle it myself. Nhs website doesn’t say much about chemicals so I’m guessing no investigation.

 

[Gossipgirl79]

I’ve not spoken to anyone - I hate making a fuss if I can handle it myself. Nhs website doesn’t say much about chemicals so I’m guessing no investigation.

They started investigations for me after 3…2 of which were chemicals, so they definitely count. Thinking of you, it’s awful.

 

[CallMeHollywood]

They started investigations for me after 3…2 of which were chemicals, so they definitely count. Thinking of you, it’s awful.

Thanks for the info. Did you call the nhs line or speak to your surgery?

 

[Gossipgirl79]

Thanks for the info. Did you call the nhs line or speak to your surgery?

It was through the Early Pregnancy Assessment Clinic at my local hospital as they diagnosed my first chemical, monitored my second pregnancy (lost at 10 weeks) I didn’t go to them for my third as I knew it was another chemical and how to manage myself but I rang them so it would be on my notes. I also rang my doctors surgery each time to make sure it was on my records. My third loss was start of May, I got my letter for my recurrent miscarriage clinic appointment in July. In the meantime I went private (for my sanity) and got really good advice…progesterone pessaries, daily aspirin, daily fragmin injections, my BMI is a few points over 30 so advised to eat healthy, exercise regularly, I’m 33. I didn’t attend the clinic in July as I fell pregnant again before then. I know it’s hell, was the worst year of my life. So glad I didn’t give up though. You will get through it. Sending love and strength.

 

[unidentified]

Hi, I just came across this thread and was hoping for some comfort / advice.

I recently had an early miscarriage at 8 weeks, only myself, my fiancé, a friend and his mother knew. The pregnancy was a shock, we weren’t trying as our wedding and festivities are coming up in 2023. (We’d probably try soon after)
Although, this baby wasn’t planned and it wasn’t the best timing I cannot help but feel so empty and upset.
My mother has passed away so no comfort from her but my fiancés mother has been so unhelpful and hurtful, stating that this baby would have been an inconvenience, it wasn’t really a pregnancy as it was such an early loss, I shouldn’t be feeling this way etc.
I know I will be better soon and maybe it wasn’t the right timing but I just don’t understand her comments!
Has anyone else had to deal with this sort of thing? I’m not sure how to approach it or to just ignore from now on in? I just wish my mother was here right now.

Sending you lots of love. Please reach out to Sands or Tommy’s, they have help lines available and are amazing.

 

[aac_124]

Why does seeing pregnancy announcements hurt so bad I know I should be happy for people but just stings

 

[watermelon sugar]

Why does seeing pregnancy announcements hurt so bad I know I should be happy for people but just stings

i know the feeling, it hurts doesn’t it, hope you’re ok xx

 

[aac_124]

i know the feeling, it hurts doesn’t it, hope you’re ok xx

That’s why I commented here because I don’t feel like anyone else wouldn’t understand

I never really grieved as such because when I lost them I didn’t even know I was pregnant but I feel like suddenly it’s just hit me

 

[disillusionedbythegram]

Why does seeing pregnancy announcements hurt so bad I know I should be happy for people but just stings

It really does hurt, im sorry you’ve had to see it. I found that ‘hiding’ people on social media who announced their pregnancies shortly after my loss, or who had announced just before I found out I was pregnant (so a similar stage of pregnancy to me) helpful because it meant all the future scan pictures, gender announcements and birth announcements didn’t trigger those same thoughts again x

 

[aac_124]

It really does hurt, im sorry you’ve had to see it. I found that ‘hiding’ people on social media who announced their pregnancies shortly after my loss, or who had announced just before I found out I was pregnant (so a similar stage of pregnancy to me) helpful because it meant all the future scan pictures, gender announcements and birth announcements didn’t trigger those same thoughts again x

Thank you for this idea someone had actually posted someone’s pregnancy announcement on another thread I follow and it hurt so much more than I thought it would x

 

[watermelon sugar]

Thank you for this idea someone had actually posted someone’s pregnancy announcement on another thread I follow and it hurt so much more than I thought it would x

it does hurt a lot and little things hurt as well, like just seeing a newborn etc can be very triggering but what you are feeling is grief and the sad and negative feelings is perfectly normal at this time, so don’t be hard on yourself and let yourself feel how you are feeling x

 

[aac_124]

it does hurt a lot and little things hurt as well, like just seeing a newborn etc can be very triggering but what you are feeling is grief and the sad and negative feelings is perfectly normal at this time, so don’t be hard on yourself and let yourself feel how you are feeling x

Thank you so much I just don’t know how I’ll be able to deal with this x

 

[aac_124]

Sorry to post here again I’m just not sure anyone else will understand but I was at a football game tonight and there was a lady sitting infront of me I’d say she was maybe 7/8 months pregnant and i wanted to cry I just don’t understand these feelings I’m having x

 

[strawberrypineapple]

Sorry to post here again I’m just not sure anyone else will understand but I was at a football game tonight and there was a lady sitting infront of me I’d say she was maybe 7/8 months pregnant and i wanted to cry I just don’t understand these feelings I’m having x

It’s so hard and your feelings are completely valid It’s a process. I’m almost a month past my due date that I lost at 12 weeks and I’m still not there. Be kind to yourself and don’t try and invalidate your feelings, you need to let yourself go through the process to heal healthily

 

[lastdis]

Think I’m having another loss at 5 weeks, that’s in a year , I just feel like crawling away and hiding for a while

 

[watermelon sugar]

Think I’m having another loss at 5 weeks, that’s in a year , I just feel like crawling away and hiding for a while

bless you, I don’t want to read and run. Are you sure it’s that? Have you spoken to your EPU? Hope you are okay and post here if you need to xx

 

[lastdis]

bless you, I don’t want to read and run. Are you sure it’s that? Have you spoken to your EPU? Hope you are okay and post here if you need to xx

Ill be fine, no point they dint see you really, I had to fight to be seen with my pregnacy after a tfmr, I had a prvaite scan which found a mass on my tubes and they were awkward about seeing me, when I phoned with my first chemical they said if it’s bad go a&e if not keep doing tests and they should go negative , if they stayed the same call back