Mental Health Days & Work

New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
I just wanted to start this thread to get anyone’s stories about how their workplace have handled mental health or if they’ve not been able to tell their employers etc.

I spoke to my employer today to tell them I needed today and tomorrow off work to deal with my anxiety disorder (which they knew about) which has been massively triggered by stress at home. The response was surprising - initially they didn’t even respond and then when I prompted them they just said ‘all received, thank you’.

my last boss (literally same company just diff department) was the opposite when I told him and spoke to HR to see what he could do to help me and he reassured me not to worry etc.

im tempted to speak to the head of our team on Monday to suggest some mental health training for management as our company offers this but was wondering what your guys experiences were if any?
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1
I've experienced both extremes during my time. A corporate organisation I worked for a number of years ago paid for me to have 6 sessions of private counselling to help me on the road to recovery, they treated me really well. On the other hand, a large NHS hospital I worked at a few years ago sent me to Occupational Health, monitored all my sick leave and made me feel I was being constantly watched. It was awful. My parents had both died within just over a year of one another, all our jobs were changed and we had to reapply for our own jobs, I was being bullied by my manager and several colleagues and in the end I had a breakdown and ended up self-harming. You'd think a hospital would show more compassion wouldn't you, but that place was a bed of vipers.
 
  • Like
  • Sad
  • Wow
Reactions: 10
I've experienced both extremes during my time. A corporate organisation I worked for a number of years ago paid for me to have 6 sessions of private counselling to help me on the road to recovery, they treated me really well. On the other hand, a large NHS hospital I worked at a few years ago sent me to Occupational Health, monitored all my sick leave and made me feel I was being constantly watched. It was awful. My parents had both died within just over a year of one another, all our jobs were changed and we had to reapply for our own jobs, I was being bullied by my manager and several colleagues and in the end I had a breakdown and ended up self-harming. You'd think a hospital would show more compassion wouldn't you, but that place was a bed of vipers.
That's really awful, I hope you are in a better place health wise now, I've heard it's not unusual in the NHS workforce ie staff treated badly. I worked for a corporate organisation and they had an in-house counsellor whom we were actively encouraged to see and they treated their staff incredibly well. A colleague's son sadly died while he was out of the country and the company immediately stepped in and did everything in their power to help her, including arranging and paying for flights etc.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 2
Agree with the above. NHS as an employer were not supportive. Was off with stress due to issues at home, was harassed constantly to see when I'd be back. Starbucks also lack support in that department.
 
  • Like
  • Sad
Reactions: 7
I've experienced both extremes during my time. A corporate organisation I worked for a number of years ago paid for me to have 6 sessions of private counselling to help me on the road to recovery, they treated me really well. On the other hand, a large NHS hospital I worked at a few years ago sent me to Occupational Health, monitored all my sick leave and made me feel I was being constantly watched. It was awful. My parents had both died within just over a year of one another, all our jobs were changed and we had to reapply for our own jobs, I was being bullied by my manager and several colleagues and in the end I had a breakdown and ended up self-harming. You'd think a hospital would show more compassion wouldn't you, but that place was a bed of vipers.
I can relate to this, I used to work in the primary school and the teachers were nasty, spiteful bullies. I was on sick leave for mental health reasons and the head kept ringing me asking when I'd be back.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 5
I’m sad to see that there are quite a few stories like mine where employers are still just so ignorant to mental health issues. So much still needs to be done!!

im particularly surprised about NHS and schools though as you’d expect them to know better and have stricter policies around that sort of thing!!
 
  • Like
Reactions: 3
My work place has always been amazing. Work for the CPS and it can be extremely high stress and they’ve always been accommodating with both home and work stress from employees. Whilst I’ve never had to call upon the help, others have nothing but praise.

In contrast my husband works within the NHS and he has seen employees bullied and pushed regarding mental health and he cannot wait to leave the bully culture created by the management in the NHS.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 5
I think it’s a really hard thing to balance. From a managerial point of view especially. Firstly there are guidelines to follow- I too would also have to refer to occupational health to see how I could best support you. (As whilst I could approve the leave, that isn’t necessarily going to resolve anything. So if you continuously did this I’d need to evidence how I’ve supported you and tried to reduce this level of absence) But mainly because it isn’t sustainable for the service we provide for someone to need two days off so suddenly. BUT I also get you can’t help with when your mental health is triggered so it’s a really difficult situation seeing it from both sides.

i don’t know that with any level of training it’d get much better. Whilst you can widen your knowledge of mental health/the struggles people actually live with/how to reduced their stress of anxiety levels, it doesn’t change the process of absence monitoring and the hoops senior level staff have to jump through to prove they’re trying to run a safe service whilst supporting staff and also keeping an eye on things. It’s a tough one!
 
  • Like
Reactions: 6
Could be worse. You could work for an agency that couldn’t give a rats ass you or about mental health days and would just replace you at the drop of a hat.
 
  • Angry
  • Sad
  • Like
Reactions: 3
Could be worse. You could work for an agency that couldn’t give a rats ass you or about mental health days and would just replace you at the drop of a hat.
🙄 Of course it could be worse but that’s one of the reasons why I am in permanent employment - for the security. It’s all relative...

I appreciate not everyone is the same but that’s why I posted asking for peoples experiences?
 
  • Like
Reactions: 5
🙄 Of course it could be worse but that’s one of the reasons why I am in permanent employment - for the security. It’s all relative...

I appreciate not everyone is the same but that’s why I posted asking for peoples experiences?
So why are you eye rolling? My comment was meant in a ‘think positive and appreciate what you have’ kind of perspective 🤷🏻‍♀️ I mean, if everyone could ‘choose’ permanent employment then I’m sure they would.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 2
My employer, as an organisation, is dealing with MH issues well. Anxiety is listed as a reason to call in sick. On the other hand, my dept is a bit behind. They (the management) are trying to be understanding and sensitive about the issues, but they are reluctant to allow flexible working or working from home. It's bad, because people could work from home even on 80% of their abilities, but instead they call in sick and get paid for sitting at home, where they could work if they wanted to
 
  • Like
Reactions: 2
So why are you eye rolling? My comment was meant in a ‘think positive and appreciate what you have’ kind of perspective 🤷🏻‍♀️ I mean, if everyone could ‘choose’ permanent employment then I’m sure they would.
Because there doesn’t always need to be a ‘well, others have it worse!’ kind of comment. It’s different for everyone and actually a lot of comments on here are positive & saying how much their employers do for them. Just because others have it worse doesn’t mean that it’s still not tit for someone on another level...

My employer, as an organisation, is dealing with MH issues well. Anxiety is listed as a reason to call in sick. On the other hand, my dept is a bit behind. They (the management) are trying to be understanding and sensitive about the issues, but they are reluctant to allow flexible working or working from home. It's bad, because people could work from home even on 80% of their abilities, but instead they call in sick and get paid for sitting at home, where they could work if they wanted to
that’s really interesting! My employer allows 1 WFH day a week which I utilise and find incredibly helpful but it’s a shame your org doesn’t allow people the chance. Sometimes it’s not about needing to sit at home doing nothing but even just working from home can be beneficial and give our minds a rest from manic offices etc! Hopefully they will work towards that and make it an option in the future.

I genuinely believe remote working is the future for the majority of employers that could utilise it and that are applicable.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 2
I worked for the nhs a few years ago and during that period I ended up going to work one day with blood pouring down my face and finally admitting to being in a violent relationship. I know if I didnt go to work that day and subsequently a&e I would not of told anyone the truth.
My grandparents also passed away while I worked there and I really struggled with having horrible memories all around me.
I dont think I admitted to how much I struggled with things to my employees. I ended up with PTSD anxiety and depression and in the end took redundancy from my job as they was relocating and the commute wasnt logical for me.
I then started working for a charity and was open to how I felt about things and what I went through and they have been nothing but supportive in allowing me to go to counselling etc and looking after wellbeing.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 3
Because there doesn’t always need to be a ‘well, others have it worse!’ kind of comment. It’s different for everyone and actually a lot of comments on here are positive & saying how much their employers do for them. Just because others have it worse doesn’t mean that it’s still not tit for someone on another level...



that’s really interesting! My employer allows 1 WFH day a week which I utilise and find incredibly helpful but it’s a shame your org doesn’t allow people the chance. Sometimes it’s not about needing to sit at home doing nothing but even just working from home can be beneficial and give our minds a rest from manic offices etc! Hopefully they will work towards that and make it an option in the future.

I genuinely believe remote working is the future for the majority of employers that could utilise it and that are applicable.
It's not my organisation, but my department specifically. I am currently in the process of requesting wfh when I need to. I find office and the commute quite overwhelming at times and my anxiety causes me to have a psychosomatic symptoms :(
 
I currently work for the local authority in a school related environment and while I’ve not had issues I know that they are quite closed to staff having mental health issues. Which is incredibly worrying as one of the things the pupils come to us for is mental health.
When my mental health was at its worst I was working in the NHS as a midwife and it was awful. No help or support, just battling against being warned about disciplinary action for too much time off etc.
My friends husband works for a large USA IT company but here in the UK and they are huge supporter of mental well-being. Rooms for rest and planned but not forced activity such as yoga. Staff gym, healthy snacks for free plus plenty of outdoor space etc. Oh and good pay as well which can be a major factor in some people’s mental well-being.
 
  • Sad
Reactions: 1
I've never worked in a job where there was leeway for mental or even physical health issues, largely because i worked for small businesses (where the boss would crawl into work no matter what) or small charities who expected me to want to sacrifice myself on their altar. I struggle with chronic illness and also generalised anxiety and PTSD. The constant stress of forcing myself to go in or face the phone calls and even door knocks by my boss and having colleagues report that they'd seen me buying groceries while I was "supposed to be ill" (hello, who else was going to do it? My fairy godmother?) was awful. But I do understand - a business can't necessarily deal with long term or sporadic, unexpected absences but the way I was treated was frankly abusive.
 
  • Sad
Reactions: 1
My work place has always been amazing. Work for the CPS and it can be extremely high stress and they’ve always been accommodating with both home and work stress from employees. Whilst I’ve never had to call upon the help, others have nothing but praise.

In contrast my husband works within the NHS and he has seen employees bullied and pushed regarding mental health and he cannot wait to leave the bully culture created by the management in the NHS.
Completely agree. I've worked for the nhs for nearly 20 years. I've seen bullying and unfair treatment of staff happen many times in different hospitals I've worked in. It's often quite low level so not always obvious to others.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 2
I've experienced both extremes during my time. A corporate organisation I worked for a number of years ago paid for me to have 6 sessions of private counselling to help me on the road to recovery, they treated me really well. On the other hand, a large NHS hospital I worked at a few years ago sent me to Occupational Health, monitored all my sick leave and made me feel I was being constantly watched. It was awful. My parents had both died within just over a year of one another, all our jobs were changed and we had to reapply for our own jobs, I was being bullied by my manager and several colleagues and in the end I had a breakdown and ended up self-harming. You'd think a hospital would show more compassion wouldn't you, but that place was a bed of vipers.
I had the same experience as you in the NHS. I had a very bad mental health breakdown and when I explained what was happening, I was told to toughen up.
 
  • Like
  • Sad
Reactions: 2
I had a bad breakdown last year, went to the doctors and was signed off for two weeks, my work begrudgingly accepted it but i was still hassled every other day asking if i was “well yet“ or if i knew when i was coming back, even though they had my form from the doctors. When i went back after the two weeks my managers response (who was SO horrible) was “put a smile on your face and try to cheer up or you can just leave today if you want, we need happy people in this company” i did leave a while after that.
 
  • Wow
  • Sad
  • Like
Reactions: 7