Menopause anger out of control

[Annie101]

Hi Ladies,

Where to start... Sudden hot flushes, my waist (oh why didnt i appreciate it while i had one) disappeared and i am left with a Goodyear Tyre around my waist. Lets not start with the thinning of my hair, my brush is not my friend. That with my lack of patience, and an apparent zero tolerance policy. Tears about something that happened 10 years ago, or a dream, and please dont judge me...tears as a put down ant killer, as if i changed into a serial killer.

Old mild-mannered me having a serious meltdown after my husband accidentally painted my bedroom wall a grass green instead of the tranquil emerald green i asked for. Now i am sleeping in a flipping rain forest. i used to bite my tongue if i didnt like something, suddenly i want to challenge everything, a permanent raised eyebrow even if i do botox. What the hell is happening???

Every past resentment or wrongdoing is high on my list of worries, and now i expect apologies, and not just one blanket apology, i want a step by step apology for any sin/heartache/transgression that was done, (this is not happening of course, but expected) and i am ready to give a few Hail Mary's and forgive. I listened daily to my mom's latest list of illnesses or complaints and now i just ignore her, no time for crap. And my husband that is an alcoholic in recovery (bless his soul), that is still working on changing his alcoholic behaviour, expects me to be ever so grateful that he stepped up his game and stopped drinking, but man!!! i took so much crap from you during the years, you want me to be grateful - no i want you to apologies.

Will this pass? Does HRT help, will it get rid of the tube i am carrying (oh please say yes to that one).

 

[Suzesnooze]

I feel your pain! I haven't tried HRT as yet but it seems to help a lot of ladies. Menopause Matters has a good forum with some good info.

Not sure how far you are into peri menopause (which can last 10 years)? I felt like you early on in peri and glad to say it has eased a bit but is then just replaced with other symptoms.

The weight gain has been a pain in the arse! Find it very slow going trying to lose weight.

 

[ScrambledEggs]

I'm so glad I've seen this. I'm experiencing hot flushes, weight gain, mood swings, dryness (makes me cringe saying it), anxiety, trouble sleeping, forgetfulness...it goes on . What do I do ? Do I see anyone ? Change my diet ?

 

[Annie101]

I'm so glad I've seen this. I'm experiencing hot flushes, weight gain, mood swings, dryness (makes me cringe saying it), anxiety, trouble sleeping, forgetfulness...it goes on . What do I do ? Do I see anyone ? Change my diet ?

well dryness sounds better than "moist" . True insomnia and not concentrating well. Hope some of the ladies have solutions

 

[MrsD2608]

I'm so glad I've seen this. I'm experiencing hot flushes, weight gain, mood swings, dryness (makes me cringe saying it), anxiety, trouble sleeping, forgetfulness...it goes on . What do I do ? Do I see anyone ? Change my diet ?

Go and see your GP, I found my female GP was a lot more helpful. I've been on HRT for nearly 10 years now after finding out age 34 I was going through menopause. HRT is not an exact science, it takes a while to get right so the sooner you start the better

Meant to reply to you both

 

[Cannoteven]

Definitely speak to a dr. I had horrific mood swings and forgetfulness- genuinely thought I had early onset dementia it was so severe. Initially misdiagnosed as stressed - as I was only 39, so had about 18 months on different anti depressants, which obviously didnt do anything.
I went back to my Dr and broke down, listing all my symptoms - horrendously dry down there and my skin after showering (I use Tropic so it's not soap related) my mood was awful - I was shouting at the kids over nothing and my husband told me if I didnt stop I'd have to move out, flushes, night sweats, disturbed sleep. Id had our son at 38 and my cycle never recovered properly, very dilute consistency. Luckily my Dr listened and sent me for blood tests.
I'm 3 years on HRT now and it's the best thing I ever did. I'm only 44 and they were worried about my getting osteoporosis due to the oestrogen drop at such a young age.
Please go talk to someone, you are not going mad!

 

[Annie101]

Definitely speak to a dr. I had horrific mood swings and forgetfulness- genuinely thought I had early onset dementia it was so severe. Initially misdiagnosed as stressed - as I was only 39, so had about 18 months on different anti depressants, which obviously didnt do anything.
I went back to my Dr and broke down, listing all my symptoms - horrendously dry down there and my skin after showering (I use Tropic so it's not soap related) my mood was awful - I was shouting at the kids over nothing and my husband told me if I didnt stop I'd have to move out, flushes, night sweats, disturbed sleep. Id had our son at 38 and my cycle never recovered properly, very dilute consistency. Luckily my Dr listened and sent me for blood tests.
I'm 3 years on HRT now and it's the best thing I ever did. I'm only 44 and they were worried about my getting osteoporosis due to the oestrogen drop at such a young age.
Please go talk to someone, you are not going mad!

will it take away the newly formed tube around my waist?

 

[MrsD2608]

I'm not sure of the rules about advertising, so have any of you seen the Jenny Eclair adverts that people complained about being shown at tea time? Great products!

 

[Suzesnooze]

I'm so glad I've seen this. I'm experiencing hot flushes, weight gain, mood swings, dryness (makes me cringe saying it), anxiety, trouble sleeping, forgetfulness...it goes on . What do I do ? Do I see anyone ? Change my diet ?

Dryness was why I went to the GP. She prescribed me a lubricant (sylk). I didn't like it that much so now just use durex lubricants but YES is also a good one for dryness. She offered me HRT but I said I would consider it. So far, I've decided not to try it but reading Menopause Matters, it is successful for many women but one Dr said to me that as soon as you come off it, you're symptoms will return but I've read of women still on it into their 70's whereas years ago they made you come off it a lot younger.

I've had/have all your symptoms. I did change my diet and noticed a difference. I'm actually sleeping better now I'm furloughed and not working. I used to get quite a lot of anxiety around working due to hot flushes. I've actually felt a lot better while I've been off.

Another symptom I have is migraines.

Just to add, anyone who goes through early menopause (before age of 45) is advised to take HRT to protect heart and bones because of the loss of oestrogen.

 

[ScrambledEggs]

Thank you everyone for replying. I'll call the GP & read menopause matters. I'm almost 47. Xxx

 

[Suzesnooze]

Thank you everyone for replying. I'll call the GP & read menopause matters. I'm almost 47. Xxx

Also, hormone tests are unreliable so my Dr just said they go by symptoms. I started with symptoms around 46/47...6 years later still going through it

 

[Cannoteven]

will it take away the newly formed tube around my waist?

It's actually made mine worse. I'm quite a healthy eater usually, but crave junk now. Mainly sugary rubbish. So I've absolutely piled it on round my waist and gone up almost a dress size.

Dryness was why I went to the GP. She prescribed me a lubricant (sylk). I didn't like it that much so now just use durex lubricants but YES is also a good one for dryness. She offered me HRT but I said I would consider it. So far, I've decided not to try it but reading Menopause Matters, it is successful for many women but one Dr said to me that as soon as you come off it, you're symptoms will return but I've read of women still on it into their 70's whereas years ago they made you come off it a lot younger.

I've had/have all your symptoms. I did change my diet and noticed a difference. I'm actually sleeping better now I'm furloughed and not working. I used to get quite a lot of anxiety around working due to hot flushes. I've actually felt a lot better while I've been off.

Another symptom I have is migraines.

Just to add, anyone who goes through early menopause (before age of 45) is advised to take HRT to protect heart and bones because of the loss of oestrogen.

I suffered migraines in my cycle due to the hormone imbalance anyway - I've had less on HRT but they're big buggers when I do.
My cycle is also regular now - it's similar to being on the pill, every new box I'll have a bleed which is frustrating as I just want them to go away tbh.
And my anxiety is irrational - I was a Burlesque performer, now its almost like I daren't go places, which is ludicrous considering the Burlesque. And I had to give up teaching Burlesque as the meniscus in my knees is wearing away - I'm unsure if this is linked to menopause or not

 

[Upintheair83]

If your mum had menopause early does it mean you will? I’m absolutely terrified that’s the case because I want a baby xx

 

[Suzesnooze]

If your mum had menopause early does it mean you will? I’m absolutely terrified that’s the case because I want a baby xx

It does seem to follow this pattern. I’m certainly following my mum’s pattern as are my sisters.

How old was your Mum? If she had an early menopause before 45 it can be down to other medical reasons.

 

[Upintheair83]

It does seem to follow this pattern. I’m certainly following my mum’s pattern as are my sisters.

How old was your Mum? If she had an early menopause before 45 it can be down to other medical reasons.

She was 40, Im 36. Xxx

She was 40, Im 36. Xxx

I do know she had problems with my brother during her pregnancy, whether that had anything to do with it I’m not sure. But my nan never had early menopause. I’m just so worried because she only told me this year when I came off the depot injection. Luckily my periods have come straight back to Normal so IM extremely happy and lucky with that. Xx

 

[Suzesnooze]

She was 40, Im 36. Xxx


I do know she had problems with my brother during her pregnancy, whether that had anything to do with it I’m not sure. But my nan never had early menopause. I’m just so worried because she only told me this year when I came off the depot injection. Luckily my periods have come straight back to Normal so IM extremely happy and lucky with that. Xx

Did she have a hysterectomy and her ovaries removed as that is a surgical menopause?

Ask her if she went into a natural menopause? If she did then it may be worth speaking to your Dr about the chances of you following suit if you would like a baby in the next few years?

 

[Upintheair83]

Did she have a hysterectomy and her ovaries removed as that is a surgical menopause?

Ask her if she went into a natural menopause? If she did then it may be worth speaking to your Dr about the chances of you following suit if you would like a baby in the next few years?

I don’t think so, we don’t really talk about things like that but I will ask her as it’s been really playing on my mind. I feel abit let Down that she never told me this before. X

 

[Suzesnooze]

I don’t think so, we don’t really talk about things like that but I will ask her as it’s been really playing on my mind. I feel abit let Down that she never told me this before. X

It seems to be very common that mothers don't talk about it. I'm my mother's youngest child and she had me in her 30's, so I can remember her menopause and how she got moody and was having hot flushes. She was then put on HRT but then they thought it might cause breast cancer so her Dr took her off it and then her symptoms came back again and as I was even older, I remember that time more. She was always crying over everything and moody!

When she speaks about it now that me and my sisters are going through it, the only thing she mentions are hot flushes and tells us to go on HRT!

 

[Upintheair83]

It seems to be very common that mothers don't talk about it. I'm my mother's youngest child and she had me in her 30's, so I can remember her menopause and how she got moody and was having hot flushes. She was then put on HRT but then they thought it might cause breast cancer so her Dr took her off it and then her symptoms came back again and as I was even older, I remember that time more. She was always crying over everything and moody!

When she speaks about it now that me and my sisters are going through it, the only thing she mentions are hot flushes and tells us to go on HRT!

I don’t understand why mums do that! But it must be more common than I thought. Iv never been in the position to want or have a baby until now but if mum had told me earlier I may have planned abit more for it. It makes me sad but there is nothing I can do about it now. I just pray I can conceive in the short window I may have left xxx

 

[Suzesnooze]

I don’t understand why mums do that! But it must be more common than I thought. Iv never been in the position to want or have a baby until now but if mum had told me earlier I may have planned abit more for it. It makes me sad but there is nothing I can do about it now. I just pray I can conceive in the short window I may have left xxx

I tell my daughter all about it!

Good luck, I had my last child age 39 and a lot of friends had them in their 40’s, so don’t lose hope x