Melanie Murphy #5 - 1.1 Diploma in Google search, distinction in dangerous medical advice

[Oohthedrama]

How are yeeee me Internet famileeeeee.

Sure tis’int it a grand ole day here in oir-land, sure I missed the rolling green hills of home when I lived in LA....
that one week

youse all probably know I’m back to work this week, after 5 weeks maternity leave, this means I get up at 10.30 instead of 11.45, and it’s been a shock to the system,

I’ve taken to putting stool softeners into mammy O’s porridge, it gives me a good 40 min to set up the tv with a film, put the baby on the sofa and take a photo for the Instagram, however the dogs have taken to hiding since I waved my tits at them that one time, clearly they were only out for my patronising and condescending as duck Instagram story but the dogs got scared.
Clearly weren’t breastfeed which had made them uncomfortable with my narrative

things haven’t been great with Thomas,
not since he insisted on trying to tell the truth about my natural both story....
and the medical professional that....
safely delivered my baby....and in doing so....ruined it all IT SOUNDS MORE DRAMATIC AND HORRIFIC IN MY HEAD

That doctor clearly didn’t read my notes, which stated I HAVE A DEGREE IN EDUCATION THEREFORE CAN DELIVER MY OWN BABY USING JUST ONE PAIR OF FABLETICS LEGGINGS AS A SLING!!! (With one to spare 2 for 1 #ad)

We’ve been talking about baby number 2 a lot lately, but we’re gonna hold off until 2022, mammy O said if we do we can maybe put a cot in the utility room and I’ll be aloud use the first floor bathroom once nobody else needs it, and once they don’t know might even get a second cupboard in the kitchen

I've unfortunately had to fire a member on my social media team this week, Emma Duffy, it just wasn’t working out
**do you want to rename your Instagram account**
But I’m sure I’ll be rehiring soon enough **yes**

Im gonna leave youse with this new thread, as I said earlier I’m back to work...
So in the next hour I’ll need to take a photo of Milo with a cushion over his head #creative and lecture the sad fuckers who read my posts and take me seriously

love yeee meinternetfamily.
And thanks to @oicheliath for the new thread title

 

[Dearreader]

That doctor clearly didn’t read my notes, which stated I HAVE A DEGREE IN EDUCATION THEREFORE CAN DELIVER MY OWN BABY USING JUST ONE PAIR OF FABLETICS LEGGINGS!!! (With one to spare #ad)

You can just FEEL the chaotic vibes oozing from this one.

You really did it this time.

So much clean prose too unlike that peasant, Tolkien.

Congrats @oicheliath

 

[monga]

She’s finally made the big time

 

[Dearreader]

She’s finally made the big time View attachment 304090

Not to tit on the artist - I'm presuming it's a dramatic interpretation for two reasons.

Melanie squats in an attic.

The above ombre is seamless.

Artistic liberties were taken, for sure.

ETA - the cheek of the artist to not at the very least, bestow officer baldie with a aerlingus pilot hat.... because if you didnt know already HE'S A PILOT.

 

[monga]

I see she's been to see her dad ,she said even though he's vulnerable his heart attack made him realise how much he wants to see his family so he's decided to take the risk..

 

[Chinese_whispers]

Just commenting so I get notifications. This week is mad for me, but we all know I can’t help myself and I’ll be back happy new thread, lads. Jesus the old one went fast.

 

[NerdyBeauty87]

@HoneyBee29 ''After the age of 35 your classed as high risk as your at a higher risk of having certain complications which is why personally I wouldn't have anymore after 35. I know a few women that have had babies in their mid 30s though''

A little insensitive but let me clear something up for you. You don't suddenly become high risk once you turn 35, that number is as old as the research on the decline of fertility, based from the 17-1800's. Yeah. It starts to decline slightly after 35, but by 40 it goes significantly down, and that is where the risks become high. Pregnancy comes with risks anyway, from any age, medical conditions, the baby, conditions that may arise. This whole 35 thing is really outdated, and women with PCOS have better chances as they age because of their hormones changing.

Sorry, but what you said is why so many young and women in their early 30's panic, like Melanie did, and yet, even though Melanie was a young 30 year old, she still had complications with bleeding and a large child, as she didn't expect, so no, 35 doesn't mean you will immediately go from safe pregnancy to high risk, theirs a risk with all pregnancies, and that is why we have state of the art hospitals and doctors and nurses of the modern era to help us because before that, many women of all ages died, or lost their children just due to the nature itself of childbirth.

It's very frustrating, because women feel pressure because of things like this said, that if they didn't meet someone then tough luck sweetheart, you'll just have to do without that child you want. Or if she has issues, or he has issues, that you better not try after 35, because it's too risky, when in reality it's not some cliff edge that you fall off of.

Just please think before making statements like that, it's the same insensivity as Melanie uses when she talks about how easy it was for her to get pregnant after blatantly lying that she had PCOS. It really affects other women of all ages that its all hopeless for them, when it really isn't.

 

[RafaelaGoltsman]

@HoneyBee29 ''After the age of 35 your classed as high risk as your at a higher risk of having certain complications which is why personally I wouldn't have anymore after 35. I know a few women that have had babies in their mid 30s though''

A little insensitive but let me clear something up for you. You don't suddenly become high risk once you turn 35, that number is as old as the research on the decline of fertility, based from the 17-1800's. Yeah. It starts to decline slightly after 35, but by 40 it goes significantly down, and that is where the risks become high. Pregnancy comes with risks anyway, from any age, medical conditions, the baby, conditions that may arise. This whole 35 thing is really outdated, and women with PCOS have better chances as they age because of their hormones changing.

Sorry, but what you said is why so many young and women in their early 30's panic, like Melanie did, and yet, even though Melanie was a young 30 year old, she still had complications with bleeding and a large child, as she didn't expect, so no, 35 doesn't mean you will immediately go from safe pregnancy to high risk, theirs a risk with all pregnancies, and that is why we have state of the art hospitals and doctors and nurses of the modern era to help us because before that, many women of all ages died, or lost their children just due to the nature itself of childbirth.

It's very frustrating, because women feel pressure because of things like this said, that if they didn't meet someone then tough luck sweetheart, you'll just have to do without that child you want. Or if she has issues, or he has issues, that you better not try after 35, because it's too risky, when in reality it's not some cliff edge that you fall off of.

Just please think before making statements like that, it's the same insensivity as Melanie uses when she talks about how easy it was for her to get pregnant after blatantly lying that she had PCOS. It really affects other women of all ages that its all hopeless for them, when it really isn't.

Thanks so much for this!
I'm 35 and planning to have a baby in 2-3 years. Not really comfortable seeing or reading discriminating and scare mongering comments about pregnancy connecting to age.

 

[HoneyBee29]

@HoneyBee29 ''After the age of 35 your classed as high risk as your at a higher risk of having certain complications which is why personally I wouldn't have anymore after 35. I know a few women that have had babies in their mid 30s though''

A little insensitive but let me clear something up for you. You don't suddenly become high risk once you turn 35, that number is as old as the research on the decline of fertility, based from the 17-1800's. Yeah. It starts to decline slightly after 35, but by 40 it goes significantly down, and that is where the risks become high. Pregnancy comes with risks anyway, from any age, medical conditions, the baby, conditions that may arise. This whole 35 thing is really outdated, and women with PCOS have better chances as they age because of their hormones changing.

Sorry, but what you said is why so many young and women in their early 30's panic, like Melanie did, and yet, even though Melanie was a young 30 year old, she still had complications with bleeding and a large child, as she didn't expect, so no, 35 doesn't mean you will immediately go from safe pregnancy to high risk, theirs a risk with all pregnancies, and that is why we have state of the art hospitals and doctors and nurses of the modern era to help us because before that, many women of all ages died, or lost their children just due to the nature itself of childbirth.

It's very frustrating, because women feel pressure because of things like this said, that if they didn't meet someone then tough luck sweetheart, you'll just have to do without that child you want. Or if she has issues, or he has issues, that you better not try after 35, because it's too risky, when in reality it's not some cliff edge that you fall off of.

Just please think before making statements like that, it's the same insensivity as Melanie uses when she talks about how easy it was for her to get pregnant after blatantly lying that she had PCOS. It really affects other women of all ages that its all hopeless for them, when it really isn't.

I’m sorry if it came across as offensive I didn’t intentionally mean for it to come across in that way and I do agree with you that women do feel pressure to have kids before they hit 30 or once they hit 30 they feel like the chances of them having kids is very slim if they aren’t currently in a relationship. I’ve had a few friends that have been there. Again I’m sorry if it was insensitive. I’ve been someone who’s felt pressure as well over the years to have kids and honestly wouldn’t have said what I said with intention to cause any offence to anyone

 

[spiderontheceiling]

@Oohthedrama, thanks, you're the best!

 

[monga]

Thanks so much for this!
I'm 35 and planning to have a baby in 2-3 years. Not really comfortable seeing or reading discriminating and scare mongering comments about pregnancy connecting to age.

I can confirm women can have very successful pregnancies over the age of 35 ,myself being one of them ,My friend didn't have her first child till she was 42 ,my mum had my sister when she was 43 and another friend had her last child at 41 .40 is the new 20 for having kids many woman choose to have kids at a later age and carry on with their career first .I wouldn't think twice about trying for a child over the age of 35 there's no guarantee you'll have a healthy pregnancy or outcome at any age my neighbour had a DS child at 22, it's the luck of the draw ..The only thing is the risk of having multiples increases with age so you all better watch out

 

[Elle]

How're yeeee. I live for these recaps.

What will Melanie do next (WWMDN)? She's 6 weeks postpartum and now in a routine because life with a newborn is so easy and Milo has fallen into a routine so easily! He's just very advanced for his age and good at pencilling things into his diary!

Thomas handwashes everything and feeds Melanie oat bars and ready meals and his parents look after Milo while Melanie squats in the attic and spreads misinformation about covid and everything via the Internet.

She'll soon be in PEAK PHYSICAL FITNESS once again and ready to craic on with baby no 2.

 

[monga]

Yeah that's right she's getting 2hrs of unbroken sleep ,instead of 1

 

[Elle]

Yeah that's right she's getting 2hrs of unbroken sleep ,instead of 1

No, Milo actually sleeps 12 hours per night. He also gets himself off to sleep. Then awakens afresh in the morning and asks 'Mammy, can I go on the tit awhile?'.

 

[monga]

No, Milo actually sleeps 12 hours per night. He also gets himself off to sleep. Then awakens afresh in the morning and asks 'Mammy, can I go on the tit awhile?'.

Our you sure you're not getting him and Thomas mixed up

 

[Elle]

Our you sure you're not getting him and Thomas mixed up

Oops! My mistake!

 

[laceandgold]

it's weird that her reasons for wanting to space out having children are all about her body and not being "old". it's fine to have a a bigger gap but if shes only planning this because of her health anxiety that messed up. Theres no guarantee that shes going to go back to her peak fitness regime either before she had a baby she could focus all her time and energy into so it would really be helpful for her to go back to therapy and sort out all her hang ups. she seems constantly wound up and really serious about everything.

 

[Chinese_whispers]

Honestly I couldn’t do night feeds and school runs simultaneously after 30, never mind 35. Pregnancy knackered me and babies are no joke. My kid will be in secondary school by the time I’m 40 and will be independent-ish of me by then so I can still focus on my career etc. Id understand far more if that was her reasoning against having kids “old” () other than focusing on her body again.

 

[HoneyBee29]

it's weird that her reasons for wanting to space out having children are all about her body and not being "old". it's fine to have a a bigger gap but if shes only planning this because of her health anxiety that messed up. Theres no guarantee that shes going to go back to her peak fitness regime either before she had a baby she could focus all her time and energy into so it would really be helpful for her to go back to therapy and sort out all her hang ups. she seems constantly wound up and really serious about everything.

She won’t have the time or energy to workout as much as she would have prior to having a baby. Not saying you can’t fit exercise in when you have kids you certainly can but she’s not gonna be hitting the gym 4/5 days a week the way she maybe used to she may have to change her fitness routine as in incorporate more walks or run/jog with the baby in the pram

 

[Oohthedrama]

She won’t have the time or energy to workout as much as she would have prior to having a baby. Not saying you can’t fit exercise in when you have kids you certainly can but she’s not gonna be hitting the gym 4/5 days a week the way she maybe used to she may have to change her fitness routine as in incorporate more walks or run/jog with the baby in the pram

but remember she has 4 other adults living with her, and Cappie Baldie isn’t flying at the moment, she has a dream life for a new mum!!