Marriage problems

[Choco88]

I’d love some advice please if anyone can help.

We’ve been married coming up to 4 years now and if I’m honest it’s been stale for at least the last two years.

We have children with special needs so obviously that’s a big strain on us, we’re constantly physically and mentally exhausted. The only time we’re affectionate with each other is when we have sex (once a week if that).

He can also be really selfish, today for example I’ve got both kids home as they are isolating so it’s been hard work. Not only is he off to play football with the lads after working ten hours, he’s also stopping for a pint too.
Bed times are difficult so I could really do with another pair of hands.

I’m honestly sick of it all and don’t want to try anymore. How can I get him to leave? I have no car or anywhere to stay so he needs to go really. His parents are separated and they both have spare rooms so he could stay with them. We jointly own the house so not sure if I can make him go.

 

[Kim Mild]

I’d love some advice please if anyone can help.

We’ve been married coming up to 4 years now and if I’m honest it’s been stale for at least the last two years.

We have children with special needs so obviously that’s a big strain on us, we’re constantly physically and mentally exhausted. The only time we’re affectionate with each other is when we have sex (once a week if that).

He can also be really selfish, today for example I’ve got both kids home as they are isolating so it’s been hard work. Not only is he off to play football with the lads after working ten hours, he’s also stopping for a pint too.
Bed times are difficult so I could really do with another pair of hands.

I’m honestly sick of it all and don’t want to try anymore. How can I get him to leave? I have no car or anywhere to stay so he needs to go really. His parents are separated and they both have spare rooms so he could stay with them. We jointly own the house so not sure if I can make him go.

Is he aware of how unhappy you are? I think the first step would be to talk to him. Men can be quite selfish and leave their partner to deal with the kids while they piss off out .

Would him being gone solve your problems?
Not sure how you could make him leave without going through a splitting up process.

Your situation sounds like a fairly typical family dynamic to me . Are you sick of all the frustration that comes with kids/ house /everything or do you think your relationship has run it’s course?

 

[Begborrowsteal]

Theres obviously lots built up over the stale 2 years.

Talk to him, get it all out in the open and see how you feel then

 

[StrawberryCream]

Does he know how you feel or are you keeping it to yourself? I don’t think him going to play football and having a pint after is that bad (in my opinion) definitely not grounds for divorce anyway. Are you still in love with him / attracted to him? Mabye mundane day to day life is just getting in the way, which I think it does for a lot of marriages especially when you have kids, I have definitely had moments where my husband irritates the hell out of me and I just need a break, the best thing to do is to be honest with him, it’s likely he doesn’t even know you feel this way

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I’d love some advice please if anyone can help.

We’ve been married coming up to 4 years now and if I’m honest it’s been stale for at least the last two years.

We have children with special needs so obviously that’s a big strain on us, we’re constantly physically and mentally exhausted. The only time we’re affectionate with each other is when we have sex (once a week if that).

He can also be really selfish, today for example I’ve got both kids home as they are isolating so it’s been hard work. Not only is he off to play football with the lads after working ten hours, he’s also stopping for a pint too.
Bed times are difficult so I could really do with another pair of hands.

I’m honestly sick of it all and don’t want to try anymore. How can I get him to leave? I have no car or anywhere to stay so he needs to go really. His parents are separated and they both have spare rooms so he could stay with them. We jointly own the house so not sure if I can make him go.

Have you expressed how unhappy you are to him?

going for a game of football and a pint is pretty normal behaviour which he should be allowed to do and equally you should also be able to do things for yourself on your own in the same way.

if you are having sex once a week as standard that’s good going - lots of couples cant say the same!!!!


i think you need to be able to have some time with him to just talk - talk it all out, Tell him everything and See what he says?

do you still like him/fancy him/enjoy his company etc?

 

[Nebbymoo]

It reads like your frustration is more with life. The demanding children and routine. What I got from reading your post was resentment at your husband having a life outside of the home. If that's the case then maybe you need to do more outside the home too? You cant blame him for wanting some time with his friends at football/pub. Just make sure to make time for yourself too with your friends where you can.
Hope things improve for you soon