Lydia Millen #52 Flopmas with the MGs, Hermès bag for her majesty, needs a f*kn dictionary

[missmousey]

I know, it's just worrying because now she has all this tit so even if she goes to the breeder and see's it's clearly a puppy farm or terrible, terrible breeder there is no way she can walk away without a puppy.

Lots of people with small dogs have reported them stolen. Thieves are brazen enough to break into houses when people are up/watching tv. Dogs that feature on IG or FB are easy targets as easy to find out where owners live. If she’s out with Ali and there’s no one home and she posts on IG, the would be thieves will know and strike at the opportunity.... I don’t condone this sort of thing but she’ll be putting the dog at a much higher risk of being nicked from the upcoming poochie shots and bragging she’ll be doing.

 

[Themoomoo]

S’me...

Just to let those with a Fur Baby(s) in our Panto know - so that you can go and raid your wardrobes in plenty of time - that you will need to get dressed up to the nines on the night of 23rd of December. Why...I hear you ask? Well, there are no tier 4 structures in our Panto - that’s why! So no fabulous Christmas frock needs to go to waste because you will be on stage with your Fur Baby at the Grand FINALE! This will be a glittering occasion. A night to remember. I have booked Lana Ginpour from ‘Dogue’ magazine (some of you may remember her) and given her a front row seat so that she can give a running commentary on all of your outfits for a special broadcast going out live to the nation on the night. I have to tell you that (be still my beating hormones) we have a very special GUEST - I repeat a VERY special GUEST who will be presenting each cast member with an Oopsie to commemorate their stunning theatrical performance. No - I’m afraid I am NOT allowed to tell you who our GUEST is. No - sorry...just can’t...you’ll NEVER guess the GUEST! . The Final Curtain on the show will be coming down on 22nd. The Grand FINALE on 23rd will be the awards ceremony where the Fur Babies will take their final bow and you will be there with them...On stage in yer frocks. I’ll be the Bag Lady gifting programmes in the Foyer on the night. Glitter everyone...GLITTER!

Ooooh now this is exciting Bring on the 23rd and thank you for taking the time to give many of us feeling low today something to look forward to. I lost my mum to lung cancer days prior to the first lockdown in March. My mum was first diagnosed this time last year so Christmas last year was a blur. My little fur baby Lula has kept me sane this year and your play is just adorable so thank you. You will truly never know how much it means. It’s been a very hard year and hence when the lady of the manor aka LMG moans about her hard year I do get angry!! Although I have lost my mum and my mother in law this year I know there are others out there who have had it just as hard, if not harder than me. I am just thankful for what I do have which is priceless and that is my health and my family (furry and non furry)

Hi Tattlers

I've now uploaded my final reel of 2021. They call ME the queen of reels, not Tamara. Quality over quantity, Tamara! I'm not saying she's a slut. I'm just surprised Facebook hasn't made her vagina a place to 'check in' yet. Can you believe Josie revealed my study desk first? My study desk that I bought for my husband for my third anniversary for my perfect gentlemen's study that I like to sit in. Sorry, I couldn't find any medication for that psychotic stalker condition she has. But, I hope she makes Charlie happy. And by happy. I mean gives him syphilis. Speaking of Josie and Charlie, did you see that tit my husband served me? They'd throw a fit. He may have the most popular personality type, but he's a worthless sack of tit to me. But, even a sack of tit can be used as a fertiliser and serve a purpose. Who even wants a plate full of vegetables? I'm not a bleeping rabbit.

Those trolls commenting on whether Karen Millen has employed a trans model is so below my new Hermès belt. My husband will tell you I'm all woman where the sunshine's. As long as he doesn't have a headache, or is stuffed, or has house elf duties, or is...well whatever. My life coach who I employ amongst my other staff told me to just ignore the haters. I don't have an attitude. Just a rare personality no-one can't handle. I really ought to take his advice though, as I've got such weak wrists from all the fanging back at them in the comments section. But, what does my life coach know. He's such a stoopy moo moo. Get back to me when you learn the rest of the alphabet. At least I never step on anyone to achieve my success. Bots don't have feelings. I don't do anything that conflicts with my core beliefs. Although I am averse to buying things with my own money, but there's always one exception.

I'll be so glad to see the back of 2020. I've had many ups and downs. My own resilience inspires me more than anything. I totally deserve that membership at Soho Farmhouse. If only just for putting up with Josie for a whole year. I almost found my festive spirit...in the liquor cupboard. I would wish you all a Merry Christmas, but I won't. My personality type is borderline introvert. I'm just very good at figuring out who's worth talking to. Most of you aren't. Cawwee said I remind her a lot like Santa Claus; I work only one day a year and spend the rest of it judging her. She says that like it's a bad thing.

Love Lydia xx

Just perfect!!

 

[Fluffy81]

She is in Tier 4 and still walking to the pub ????????

 

[heather1563]

i do wonder, what does Julien see in her?

Julien is an insecure Mama’s boy, in reality they’re the perfect match. She’s a woman who lives to please her man (to keep that family money flowing) and he’s a man who really couldn’t do any better. He has control bc without his family, Claire wouldn’t have 1/10 of what she has. For me, that’s why that article is such BS.

 

[Greedy Grubby Grabber]

A suggestion for the next thread title...

#53 Gentlemen’s study full of books we can’t read, on the border of Buckinghamshire but we’re in tier 3

Title thread suggestion: Slight adaption but quoting the original suggestion from @wanderlust73
#53 Gentlemen’s study books just for show, still competing with FROW, Tier 4 nowhere to go

 

[Chart86]

I goes down the Bay in Barry like just to avs a go on Nessa's slots like innit (You will have to have watched Gavin and Stacey to get the joke).... Fellow Welshie here hahaha xxx Merry Xmas to all our NHS warriors during this demanding time xxx



This is a "real" response from someone who obviously loves their dogs but can see the harm that this gifting is doing to real people and charities at this difficult time .. I applaud you xxxx

Thanks @Stefano - I can cope with a lot of her tit but when she brings the dogs into it I just can't deal. Sad thing is butternut won't care they've lost a proper customer...they'd rather get some of her minions who will use her code then promptly cancel as soon as her lady ships freebies run out so she moves on to pedigree chum or similar. Painful.

 

[AmaliaLana]

Notice she doesn't show a photo of them both, only her, because in her universe she is the only one that does matter, no one else, not even her best friend or God forbid, her husband!

Someone should ask under the picture whom she has married. Because we don't get them to see.

 

[Lollylola]

She’s just posted that they are off to the local pub.

 

[HoneyBee20]

I do understand companies gifting free stuff to influencers. It can be much more effective way to reach potential customers and it costs only a fraction of, let's say advertising in magazines or on tv. BUT in this case it's just disgusting and Lydia is perhaps one of the worst influencers to use! She doesn't show any gratitude to companies who sponsor her, in most cases she doesn't even follow them back in Instagram. She's so lazy. Also Lydia isn't trust-worthy in product recommendations; we've seen many times that she recommends and advertises anything that brings money on her bank account, or at least free stuff.

100% but I sometimes feel companies don’t do their research and it puts my off buying from them all together. Anyone that’s privileged to earn as much as Lydia should never be accepting free food (farmers hamper) and the company should be more creative in thinking of ways to promote their business. Butternut box are just giving Lydia dog food before she even has a dog while we are in the middle of a pandemic and charity’s need all the help they can get. Butternut seem pretty successful so is it just greed on their part?

 

[Julia123]

She’s just posted that they are off to the local pub.

Sooo I thought she was in lockdown? Or has it not started yet?

 

[Socks221]

Sooo I thought she was in lockdown? Or has it not started yet?

It suits her now bucks is in tier 4 to live in Northampton

 

[EleanorA]

Who goes to a pub in the middle of a global pandemic? I knew these two are no Einsteins, but can you really be this dumb?

 

[MrsA1234]

She is in Tier 4 and still walking to the pub ????????

Now she’ll have to admit she actually lives in Northamptonshire which is only in tier 2. seems stupid for her to have posted that and made it so obvious she lies about where she lives

 

[Miscanthus]

She is in Tier 4 and still walking to the pub ????????

Lydia is in Northamptonshire.....tier 2. Buckinghamshire, where she claims to live, is tier 4.
Josie is Warwickshire... tier 3.
If you travel to a higher tier you have to behave as if you were from that higher tier. If you travel to a lower tier you have to behave as if you were in your own higher tier.

 

[Upintheair83]

FUR BABIES IN THE WOOD.


ACT 9.

Scene 2. Courtroom. Bedhamptonshire. Day. (Second day of trial - first day of trial post 897)

As the lights come back up we are back in court for day 2 of the trial. As Judge Drools suspected the press have got a whiff of it and reporters are jammy-packed squashed on the Press Benches. Judge Drools has sent his 2 witches out shopping so that he can concentrate without adjournments. He plans to put this to bed quickly. No doubt this will enhance his fearsome reputation even further. Things have been zooming along. All the Rescuers have been given their sworn accounts of exactly what happened. Araminta Arden has given testimony to the condition of Beggy and Grammy when she took them in. Ma Pastry looked after them both for the short time Araminta was needed in court. Sir Peregrine Otter-Hound has put a powerful case forwards for the Prosecution. To the grave surprise of Judge Drools Elle Belle has been uncommonly quiet in her defence of the Prisoner. Each time a witness was due to be cross examined by her she has announced that she has no questions for them! In many ways this has suited the Judge’s purposes as he wants this done and dusted by 4 o’clock because he has an appointment with his Chiropodist at 5 p.m. He has been in court on many previous occasions and has always admired her for her quick wittedness and incisive court-room techniques. He is starting to wonder to himself what her motives may be by displaying this unaccustomed silence. Sir Peregrine has completed his final summation to the Jury urging them to find the Prisoner guilty as charged for causing untold suffering to many hundreds of puppies and their parents. This is a heinous crime and should carry a long custodial sentence...in his humble opinion. Judge Drools has now directed Elle Belle to give her final summation to the Jury. She rises quickly and placing her thumbs in the lapels on either side of her gown she approaches the Jury and stares at them for a somewhat uncomfortable period of time. She points to the Prisoner who is scratching his chest and chewing gum again. He gives her a thumbs up sign...and another gap-toothed grin.

Elle Belle. Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury. Like you, I have listened intently to the Prosecution put forward a very powerful case against my client. I agree with every word. Yes he is a vile heap of Shuttlecock. Yes he is a detestable, weak excuse for a degenerate farce-mole. He is a complete and utter Barstool Ladies and Gentlemen. A Barstool in the fullest sense of the word Barstool. Never has such a Barstool appeared in this court. I have not offered a word in his defence because there is no word to defend him. He is indefensible and his nose is shoved so far up his Asparagus that I am here today to defend him to the very worst of my considerable ability. This heap of Shuttlecock deserves the very best of sentence that His Honour can bestow upon him. My learned friend Sir Peregrine is bang on right, members of the Jury! (she faces her client and gives him a hard stare) Knock, knock Prisoner! Who’s there? Frock! Frock who? Frock YOU! This odious miscreant is one tent away from a frocking circus, members of the Jury! I will never rest easy until I have picked every last stick from his Asparagus Patch and shoved it up his Sphinx on that plateau at Giza. If he wore socks I would instruct them to rotate just slightly until they became uncomfortable. I want to destroy his life with the truth. He frocking well deserves no better for the suffering he has caused both to Fur Babies and to their parents. I would draw this monster a picture of the monster he is if only I had brought my crayons! I have two answers to the question IS HE GUILTY? My first answer is YES! My second answer is HELL YES! He sits there in this court imagining he is full of interestingness! If `I could have karma like packages delivered straight to his front door I frocking well would! It’s not that I don’t like him - wait - yes...yes it is. How about a big cup of shut the frock up you devious, egregious, pusillanimous little Scrawncrawler? I used to believe in evolution before I heard all the evidence at this trial. I don’t know what makes him so stupid but whatever it is - it’s really working! He’s a grimy little Booshbag! And this is how many frocks I don’t give if he ever sees the light of freedom again. (She holds up both hands displaying no fingers - she pauses whilst she waits for this to sink in as the Jury think about it. She then assumes what can only be described as a Churchillian stature and with great flourish she delivers her final call to arms in summation to the Jury)

We will fight them on the beaches
We will fight them tooth and nail
We will never rest our gallant quest
Until he’s put in jail
You can keep my wretched bundles
You can shove them in my lockers
We will not rest in this great quest
Until we’ve nailed these FROCKERS!

The Fur Babies and indeed the Jury are sooo tempted to applaud Elle Belle; but they can’t because they may well be found in contempt of court. So they wriggle in their seats in appreciation of her oratory. His Honour really would like a little nap to recover from this compelling diatribe however, he is aware that the Press are present. Very present. So he forges on.

Judge Drools. The Prisoner will please stand! He will now be granted the opportunity to speak for himself. What have you to say? What would you say to all the puppies that have passed through your hands over the years?

The Orchestra strikes up with ’Sorry - Blame It On Me‘ (remix) by AKON. (Incidentally Akon wanted to be here but he’s presently on Tour with Gwen Stefani...). You can listen to it on YouTube if you don’t know it and sing along if you would like to...The Prisoner sings in a somewhat unremarkable scrawny voice...

Sorry for the Puppies that I chose to breed
Sorry all my focus was on greed not need
Sorry for the problems when I sold bad health
Sorry my intentions were for grotesque wealth
Sorry that your mother was over-bred
Sorry that I kept her in a cold dark shed
Sorry that I didn’t love her constantly
Sorry that you’ll put the blame on me

Sorry for the horror of my puppy farm
Sorry for the fear and all the sheer alarm
Sorry that the heartless one was really me
Sorry for conditions you will never see
Don’t expect an honest pedigree
Just give all your hard earned cash to me
Sometimes I will quote The Kennel Club
With documents I bought down at the pub

I understand that I’m the problem
The cash I needed caused despair
I didn’t stop to check his welfare
I didn’t even stop to care
Yet he still wagged his tail to see me
And I ignored his eager eyes
I was too busy making money
There was no room for compromise

And you can put the blame on me
Said, you can put the blame on me
Said, you can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me

Sorry that I had to cage your dad
Sorry that I stole him and he felt so bad
Sorry that I didn’t care how he would feel
Sorry there was no bowl for his meal
Sorry there was food thrown on the floor
Sorry that I never once shook his paw
Sorry that I had to tie him to a fence
Sorry that his suffering was so immense

Maybe Puppy Farms should all be made
A very good example of illegal trade
If you pull together you could make a stand
To stop the suffering on a scale so grand
If you saw the places pups are bred
You’d maybe lose your mind
And you might lose your head
I don’t have the time for any empathy
So you can put the blame on me

I sell the puppies to my dealers
Who sell them online from their home
As they become the bad-deal sealers
Pretending that the pup’s their own
Why don’t you ask to see the parents?
Why would you order dogs online?
When all my dogs are in such bad health
And all the negligence is mine

So you can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me

Sorry for the poor health that I’ve sold
Sorry that your pup might not grow old
Sorry for the problems with their ears and bones
Sorry there’s no answers on my mobile phones
Sorry for infections some of them will get
Sorry for the heartache and the way you’ll fret
Sorry for the misery you’ll never see
Sorry that the misery was caused by me

Sorry for the red flags that you missed
Sorry for the noses and the heads you’ve kissed
Sorry for the weakness of a feeble heart
Sorry they all suffer from the same bad start
Sorry for the itchiness of shedding fur
Sorry for the standards that were never there
Now you know the awful things I’ve tried to do
Maybe there’s some blame attached to you

So when you know the the things I do
A bit of blame must hang with you
A bit of blame must hang with you
Within your heart you know it’s true
But you can put that blame on me
You can put that blame on me
You can put that blame on me
Said you can put that blame on me



After this wanton display of ‘couldn’t-care-less‘ Judge Drools looks at the Foreman of the Jury. The Foreman looks at the other 11 members and all signal the judge with a thumbs down sign. Judge Drools bangs his gavel:-


Judge Drools. Guilty as Charged! Send him down!





CURTAIN







Copyright 2020

Love it!!

 

[Peppypoopar]

Now she’ll have to admit she actually lives in Northamptonshire which is only in tier 2. seems stupid for her to have posted that and made it so obvious she lies about where she lives

See Lydiot you aren't in Bucks

 

[Sofie]

COVID/soppy rant.... Well, blow me, we’ve gone into immediate lockdown....thankfully I finished my Christmas shopping etc this morning (nothing gifted in this household). Shout out to my fellow nurses across the world (I’ve seen a few of you on here....we’ve got this!!!) and a bigger shout out to front line workers and anyone else who’s working their ass off personally and/or professionally but having a tough time....we got you!!! I’m a lead nurse and my colleagues and I are suffering but we’re rolling up our sleeves and getting on with it, doing the best we can. My better half is the kindest, most lovely man in the world who happens to be ‘old bill’ and regularly keeps me in check I want to say a huge Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all the fabulous ladies and gents on here. I seriously don’t know why any influencer would be pissed to have a thread on here...it’s hilarious! No death threats (Lydia) ...Just honest opinion and banter and the funniest people on the interweb. If I don’t get a “SHE FANGS” @Elle Belle T-shirt from Santa there’s going to be some difficult conversations in my non grade II listed house over the festive period. I know you’re a fabulous lawyer but you have to get published! @Oops 😬 you are a literary genius, I don’t know you personally but you remind me of someone I work with who has the purest, kindest, selfless heart and for that I thank you....we need more people like @Oops 😬 sweet Jesus I hope I’ve tagged the right person I’m horribly clumsy in my day to day life and on anything remotely tech. Finally, @AmaliaLana and @K18 you are my spirit animals. Everything I want to convey, you two say it to perfection with added aplomb which makes me regularly snort out my uncomfortable morning coffee I loves you all (as we say in Wales) xxxxxx

Thank you so much for your kind words. I work in a Pharmacy as a Dispenser and to say this year has been tough is an understatement. However, I have seen so much kindness and compassion from patients and for that I am grateful. Am sending you lots of love and do hope and pray you don t get too overwhelmed with work and thank you for everything you do. Merry Christmas and peace on earth to you all.

@Elle Belle you are a genius and very, very funny X

 

[Peppypoopar]

Little giggle

 

[Queenc]

It suits her now bucks is in tier 4 to live in Northampton

I came here exactly to say something along these lines but you savvy ladies are on the ball! Makes her home bio all the more cringe.

 

[ach0902]

I love how Ali says 'luckily we fell into an area that falls into tier 2'

No Ali you didn't fall into anywhere, you LIVE IN NORTHAMPTONSHIRE WHICH IS IN TIER 2.