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Elle Belle

Chatty Member
Vlog - Monday 13.07.20 (Glóby post-apocalyptic launch. Aftermath unknown. Enter at your own peril. Preferably with a face mask on).

- Strong open. JK. A full 10 minutes of her peahead
whilst driving. She's decided 'the Aston is not designed for her to talk to us on camera'. Neither is the Highway Code Lydia. But who cares about rules.
- She acknowledges her week off. Not because she was drowning her sorrows and sacrificing the new girl's blood. We've obviously been way too cynical, but everything going on in the world right now finally took it's toll on her. Her 'brain gets tired from all the thinking'. She says she's damaged her brain apparently. Not a coincidence this was straight after Glóby's fuck up of a launch. Lydia, you speak fluent shit.
- She mentioned the long lost house again. She states she couldn't live there anyway. Neither could Lumi. She's a fucking cat. Not a princess. I like the way you try not to be bitter though Lydia.
- She loves vlogging. Everytime she went somewhere last week, she 'thought oh I wish I was vlogging this'. She's very active for someone suffering from brain damage. Is that home-grown watercress for medicinal purposes?
- She doesn't know what's going to happen in this vlog, she's not planned anything 'so we shouldn't expect nothing groundbreaking'. I'm actually jealous of all the people who haven't watched one of her vlogs.
- She acknowledges don't ever listen to what she tells us for Covid advice. She admits she doesn't have a clue. She has a feeling it's getting back to normal. Oh the deep chat's gone...she got distracted...by a hedgehog on the side of the road. Somewhere out there is a tree is tirelessly producing oxygen for you, Lydia. I think you owe it an apology.
- Oh she's back. She simultaneously eye rolls and states we can go to pubs, but she can't get her nails done. I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the earth revolves around the sun not you, Lydia.
- She highlights she looks so tired, but she's not actually tired at all. That'll be because you've had a week off, Lydia. Then again petulant sulking can take it out of you.
- She's an avid hiker, as well as an avid runner now. She was out of breath climbing the stairs though. Must be another symptom of said brain damage. She's purchased a backpack. She's still a cheese and pickle sandwich short of a picnic.
- We see her wearing a face mask for approximately 0.173 seconds. Blink and you'll miss it. Listen and you'll hear her say 'oh I forgot to take my face mask off'. Silly moo. Maybe take your receipt back for said face mask, Lydia. Because I'm not buying your bullshit.
- More greenhouse talk. She informs 'you regret going too small'. Not a reference to Ali's tripod though. We get a sneak peak of her courtyard garden. 2 orange trees, I mean they're lovely orange trees, but not quite a courtyard or a garden. She's paying for her water feature. She doesn't specify with money, dignity or sexual favours however.
- She shows us all her PR packages in the corner, but she's not going to show us. The trolls find it distasteful, you know during the still ONGOING pandemic. Keep calling us trolls. We've been called worse. Your followers.
- Ali Titchmarsh points out a baby bird on his new nuts. Lydia chirps in 'aww where's the baby Lumi?' Lumi is a lot of things, a twat of a cat being the top of the list. She's definitely not a bird though Lydia.
- She addresses the gifted farmer's hamper. She's aware she could have paid for it herself, but by promoting the company, once, she's literally saving no less than 7 soon to be drowned puppies, 31 CEO jobs, half of the British royal family, the economy of 87 developing countries, and the entire free world...she likes to consider these things before they come in (AKA before reading on Tattle).
- She gets a HB card from a new follower called John. That's where her fan mail starts and that's where her fan mail ends. Lydia, you're about as important as a white crayon.
- Her stories of her makeup for By Terry took her all morning. Your face here is fine Lydia, I'll even go so far as to say quite pretty, but you might need to put a bag over that personality.
- She shows us a sneak peak of her new top she was saving for the next vlog. First the front door now this. You do spoil us Lydia.
- She vlogs a telephone call to a premium greenhouse company. She advises the lady was so lovely. It's definitely going to be gifted. She doesn't compliment for free.
- She can't wait 14 weeks for a greenhouse to be built however. But she could wait 2 years for a back mitt from China.
- She's lying on the couch, looks down and says to Lumi 'are you having a sniff?' Wow, she's actually skankier than she looks post #381 fake tan application.
- Her workday tomorrow consists of going to garden centre #745 and getting ready for her 'work shindigaroo'. Don't get too excited, that's all in the next vlog. Even though it happened last week. Confused. Me too. Maybe we have brain damage also from all the thinking.
- She stops mid-sentence as she's noticed a smudge on the camera. She apologies for it being irritating. Maybe you can address the shit stain smudges under your cheekbones next please?
- She ends the vlog by concluding she's lived a sheltered life until she made her own chutney. Keep rollin eyes Lydia, you might find an actual brain back there.
 
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BeccaBanana

VIP Member
View attachment 176663
oh, come on Lydia! Stop being so overdramatic! 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

This whole Glóby thing failed, no need to start quoting “Dear John” by Nicolas Sparks
FFS stuff like this gives me the rage!! She acts like she's gone through the most heartbreaking/life changing/ traumatic experience and its a fucking insult to those that have!!

Lydia has the most privileged life, where everything, literally is HANDED TO HER ON A GIFTED PLATE; she has a bungalow she likes to redecorate every week, a nice car, wardrobe full of designer clobber, a husband, a (paid) best friend, food on the table, no money worries, a job that enables her to be the most lazy cow ever, all her days free to get ready then beg for greenhouses, spends all day with her husband and best friend and she comes out with shit like this??!

The most traumatic thing thats ever happened in her sad little materialistic life is her cat (that she didn't even like) going missing. Something that was partly their fault for letting a bengal out to roam wherever it wanted when surrounded by farmers and livestock who have the right to shoot it (but nothing is every Lydia's fault is it). And she acted like a close family member had been brutally murdered.

She tries to RIP OFF her loyal followers and just because they didn't fall for it and her pride has been dented, she posts this shit. Fuck off Lydia, seriously, when you have actually been through life-changing traumatic experiences that you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy, then post this stuff. Not because no-one will buy your over priced Chinese tat and you're sat sulking.

Rant over :)
 
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Elle Belle

Chatty Member
Hi Tattlers

So you've all seen that my Gló independent tool kit (that's my brand, that belongs to me) has now been restocked. They asked we silenced listened. I was obviously only listening to the million dollar question of 'when can I buy one?' though. All the other questions by the trolls such as 'what does it do?' and 'where is it made?' do not count. I know you're all cynical about how we restocked so fast. Well, I made all the Chinese factory workers work day and night. They nearly worked as hard as me. It's not called a sweatshop for nothing. The courier boats were going to take weeks and weeks to ship the tool kits over. Well, as I stated, we listened to our future customers, intently, so like a bougie boss I said to Mr Chinese factory boss, 'no'. So we agreed, that given all the bats have been out of action during the pandemic, they would be pulled out of cuisine retirement to fly the tool kits over. Carrier bats, how innovative is that, just like my back mitts. And before you say you've never seen such a thing, they flew at night duh!

I'll be honest with you, as long as you still promise not to look in my basement toilet lower ground powder room, I did lose my mojo for a bit. I had to take a walk in the Peak District to get my zen back. I was one with nature. I got to see some real life moo cows too. Their skin was looking a bit patchy though. I started to do my Gló sales pitch on them, but one look at my leather Louis Vuitton bag and they ran off. I almost sold another 3 independent tool kits as well. Anyway, to make up for this I told my husband I want my very own Peak District. Our woodland grounds are definitely big enough. Ali and Cawwie kept making me walk close to the edge of the cliffs for some reason. Don't they already know I'm close to the edge? Because of personal problems. Not because of Gló. Regardless, I'm fully recovered now, I've learnt to only catch funds not feelings. Ali brought me some lavender to cheer me up. It brought tears to my eyes. Ali thought he'd won husband of the year. He hasn't. They weren't happy tears. I want a greenhouse, not lousy lavender. Although he did call me a 'hot piece', well only after I told him to write it on my post. I had to help with the spelling obviously. Did you see the glamour shots he captured though? I bet Hef was turning in his grave that he didn't sign me up. The tripod comment was all Ali's though. I haven't seen his micropenis for years, however. Oh no, I tell a lie, I recently caught Ali and George practicing sword fights over the toilet.

Anyway, I can't believe my beg desire for a greenhouse all started with my sproutling seeds. I'm obviously a natural gardener you see. It helps that I talk to them. I get more intellectual conversation out of them than Ali, to be honest. I can't be held back anymore. I need a greenhouse. To grow my own vegetables, not just to copy Josie. All you Tattlers do is nitpick that I only eat beige gluten food and can't even roast potatoes, so I'll prove you otherwise. On the subject of nits, I don't have them by the way, it was definitely only dandruff and now you've ensured that I can't even eat that anymore. At least I'll not have to keep paying to have my size 4's taken in. I'm that skinny if you didn't realise. Anyway back to the greenhouse, subtly doesn't work. You have to post at least 87 times to show you're keen. Companies are a bit stoopy and don't get it at first, they're not all boss babe CEOs like me. @griffinglasshousesltd will hopefully gift me one pronto. I don't think I could cope with the trauma again, what with previously not being gifted a four poster bed or outside office. They've clearly not heard of #bekind or #payitforward. Or maybe @griffinglasshousesltd CANNOT READ THAT I HAVE 882K FOLLOWERS!!! Right I'm off, I'm going to have to tag them in some more inspirational quotes now. And if that doesn't work, I'm going to get Cawwie to email them with a 'I know you said to Tattle you don't know who I am, but do you still not know who I am?' speech.

Love Lydia (founder of Gló by Lydia Elise Millen, my own brand, in case you didn't know already)

P.S. @griffinglasshousesltd don't forget to kindly gift me a greenhouse. I'll regift you a Gló independent tool kit in return. At half-price. Without the St Tropez freebie.
 
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Elle Belle

Chatty Member
'Bullying' is such a strong accusation. Of course it's a subjective concept, but we're all entitled to an opinion. And this is a gossip site last time I checked. I just find it hypocritical to call people out for bullying Lydia. Isn't calling someone a bully especially based on limited evidence 'bullying' also? And surely even reading on this site you're inadvertently complicit in this misconceived bullying. And using an example of 'dumb bitch'; lemme tell ya, this girl has literally just vlogged that she thinks she has brain damage from over-thinking because she had to take some much needed time off to lick her wounds after her launch bombed. Because she tried to flog over-priced tat from China to her loyal followers and then silenced them all when they questioned this. I can think of a lot of adjectives to describe this, especially during a global pandemic, and guess what 'dumb' is up there. I understand we all make flippant comments in the moment, I definitely do 🙋🏼‍♀️, but this is Lydia's job so she should be more accountable. Plus, her vlogs are not live, so her team have the luxury most of us do not, in editing any of her comments or actions that could be misconstrued.

My intention is never to offend anyone on here. And I've not come across anyone on these threads who are intentionally spiteful. I can't account for other threads as I only read Lydia's. I understand some comments, mine included, can be in jest, maybe even uncomfortable to read at times. But do we just not call out her fraudulent behaviours? Shall we just ignore all crime, racism, sexism and so forth in general, because it's uncomfortable and may offend someone?! Of course with Lydia it's personal, but that's because her job revolves around her entire life. She has control and ownership over what to and what not to put online. There are both positive and negative ramifications to this, as there are with every job. I receive death threats, hold guilt if 'I've done enough' during prosecution, and so on, but working in the criminal justice system I have to expect this. If I don't like it, then it's my prerogative to fuck off and change my career, just as it is Lydia's. I'll always be an advocate of mental wellbeing, but I also think sometimes we all just need to grow a set.
 
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Elle Belle

Chatty Member
Now this is the story all about how
My Tattle Life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the tattler of thread despair

In southern England born and raised
In the courtroom I spend most of my days
Cross-examining, maxing, representing all cool
And shooted some lines outside of law school
When an influencer named Lydia, was up to no good
I got in one little pickle and Tattle admin got scared
And said 'you're now thread creating impaired'

I whistled for a cab but when it came very near
I thought no I'm gonna carry on posting on here
If anything I can't say VIP status is rare
I thought nah, back to well-known Elle, is more than fair
I pulled up to the thread today at around seven or eight
And I yelled to Lydia 'yo, Glóby smell you later'
Looked at Lydia Tattle Kingdom I was finally there
To sit on my throne as princess Elle-Belle-Air


Basically, if you want to create a new thread, just don't wing it like I did, and read the thread guidance first. Or you'll get banned. Don't do drugs either ✌🏽

P.S. I'm super bored. My bf is on shift. And I've already done a zoom group workout and face mask.
 
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Oops...

VIP Member
Today is the great unveiling of...wait for it...The Front Door...I have to tell you I am like a coiled spring of fervent anticipation for this World Premiere. I have hired the glitzy frock from ‘Glitzy‘ - frock hirers to the terminally excited. So, here I am, perched on the end of my tether (a spiky and somewhat uncomfortable piece of useless furniture) waiting for this tumultuous occasion. Will it really be F&B Pigeon - will it...will it? Or, will she have changed her mind and had The Front Door removed completely and had a flying buttress from Hermes fitted instead? The tension is mounting (along with the laundry pile) and I can barely contain my retainer...or is that retain my container? Anyway, I am here, ready and waiting and will report back to you the minute the birth is announced.

Bitsy Whottsits - News at Ten - Towcester.
 
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Oops...

VIP Member
...Well viewers we now go over to Towcester and our reporter Bitsy Whottsits for further information on the earth-shattering news that a British woman has given birth to a Front Door...Bitsy what’s it like there today after the furore this news caused yesterday?

...Thank you Felicity in the studio. Weeeeerrrll...You will be delighted to hear that mother and baby are doing well. We are thanking God and all concerned. The baby weighed in at a healthy 400 kilograms and is adjusting to it’s canopy very well. As you know; the World’s press has been focussed on this event since nothing else has even vaguely mattered for quite some time. I managed to speak to Henry Kissinger yesterday as he insisted on stopping off on his way to a World Summit. He told me that it was necessary for him to see for himself so that he could speak in an informed manner. He admitted to being a Wheelbarrow and Fall aficionado himself yet he registered surprise that she had used Pigeon when Mole’s Breath was most certainly the best colour for a new addition to the family, in his ironic humble opinion.

The Pope, who felt compelled to take an enforced sabbatical from Sunday has been to the shrine himself today. He brought with him 4 Cardinals, a creased linen frock and a bottle of Rose wine. Holding his wine glass by the stem in the correct manner His Eminence blessed the suburban property but refused to comment on the W&F colour. I did however overhear one of the Cardinals mutter something about a travesty and that Dead Salmon would have been a much better choice.

And finally; I did manage to get a very quick response from Her Majesty the Queen who had chosen this event as her first public appearance after her enforced furlough. She said: My courtiers and I were considering giving her a gong in recognition of her monumentally profound contribution to the Covid pandemic. However, this is now entirely orf the cards because she didn’t use Spaniel’s Spit. We are not amused....

Bitsy Whottsits - News at Ten - Towcester.
 
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Sage245

VIP Member
Hi everyone. Longtime lurker, first time poster... love these threads - I’m sick of influencers and the fact this is how marketing and advertising is evolving :( can’t believe the amount of sheep there are and that I know personally who buy stuff because someone was paid to say it’s good (no offence to anyone here who did or still does that)

Anyway, I’ve been told by a friend whose husband works at Haddonstone that they’re making a lot of staff redundant soon - including her husband - as they’ve struggled with lockdown so they’re taking the p*** if they then gift Lydia hundreds or thousands of pounds worth of work or products! Her husband has worked there for over 10 years and they’ve got two children to support so it’s just not on if they’re willing to do that to loyal staff members then give away products to twats who can afford to pay for it themselves and who fudge the number of followers/engagement etc to make it seem like they’ve got a bigger reach than they do. I really hope they don’t give her anything
I’m a former journalist with a lot of friends still in the industry. I’d definitely relay a story like this to them to see if they’d cover it. It’s a disgrace while people are struggling financially and losing jobs that people like Lydia get stuff for free. She’s the worst of the lot because she actively begs for it, I’m sure others don’t and just get sent stuff, but Lydia is always after the big ticket items, like green houses and home offices. It’s a joke.
 
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Jessie98

VIP Member
Sorry I've drank half a bottle of wine and I'm on a roll here.

Lydia throwing Carrie and new girl out of the bungalow after the Glo launch goes wrong

c88e2d3910e7c10e9cf9fba58ce75852.jpg
 
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Kat

Member
That's the approach that I used with the company.. I don't think they have had the opportunity to read all of her tattle threads. I wanted to get their attention.
Hi everyone. Longtime lurker, first time poster... love these threads - I’m sick of influencers and the fact this is how marketing and advertising is evolving :( can’t believe the amount of sheep there are and that I know personally who buy stuff because someone was paid to say it’s good (no offence to anyone here who did or still does that)

Anyway, I’ve been told by a friend whose husband works at Haddonstone that they’re making a lot of staff redundant soon - including her husband - as they’ve struggled with lockdown so they’re taking the p*** if they then gift Lydia hundreds or thousands of pounds worth of work or products! Her husband has worked there for over 10 years and they’ve got two children to support so it’s just not on if they’re willing to do that to loyal staff members then give away products to twats who can afford to pay for it themselves and who fudge the number of followers/engagement etc to make it seem like they’ve got a bigger reach than they do. I really hope they don’t give her anything
 
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Sage245

VIP Member
‘Everything that’s going on in the world got to me’ - errrr you mean your attempts to scam your followers failed and you got backlash, which you couldn’t handle? She is awful. I can’t believe she won’t address it all. She deserves everything she gets and for her ‘career’ to blow up in her face
 
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Upintheair83

VIP Member
I’m totally confused! So I thought she was having a bespoke oak porch done? Wasn’t she in talks with someone to do that? I’m sure she mentioned it over lock down? Have they decided against it?
If not, why have they painted the front door? Won’t it get chipped/ messed up if they are having a new porch? Why can’t they just wait until it’s finished? I don’t get it.
Also I’m a VIP member now; just want to take this time to say thanks to all you guys for helping me achieve this tattle milestone! And thank to Lydia for giving me hours of inspiration by being a complete lazy idiot and giving me tons of reasons to post on here, thanks also to Covid for giving me the time to be furloughed and spend time on here! Thanks let me take a bow! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
 
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6DC307A7-8BC8-47E8-8EE1-143DBB047145.png

oh, come on Lydia! Stop being so overdramatic! 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

This whole Glóby thing failed, no need to start quoting “Dear John” by Nicolas Sparks
 
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Miscanthus

VIP Member
Can you imagine the weekly team meeting?
Lydia:
"Now girls...and Ali....just so you know...this week...
I'll be pretending I'm really ill/ I've taken the week off as it's sunny /it's my period.
...I'm redecorating the kitchen/study/living room
.....I need you to delete comments containing the word Glo/ greenhouse /sproooooutling
....Remember I'm 5'8" and Ali is 6'1"
.....I'm begging for paint/orangery/kitchen
......keep me up to speed on what the Tattlers are saying and let me know if they have any good ideas
....don't even think about correcting my English
.....don't mention Globy or I'll have a hissy fit
That's all, try and keep up! "
 
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muffintop13

Chatty Member
So people living for the weekends are wishing their life away? No Lydia it's just that most of us actually do work every week and so the weekend is our time to spend with our partners, doing things we want to do but can't in the week such as travel, go out to eat, veg out watching box sets etc etc. Every single day of your life is a weekend, you do nothing, so carry on drinking out of those hideous £90 mugs and give us a break from your clueless twaddle 🖕
 
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rbhatt

Member
Screen Shot 2020-07-13 at 3.01.33 PM.png


Ali's last vlog -- Am I mistaken or is it supposed to be VENTURE out, not.. ADVENTURE out.... .. . ..
I'm Indian and I've always thought British people knew how to speak English well - I suppose not all do :unsure:
 
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