So that last thread was a bit hefty wasn't it? I have learnt a lot of big words on here recently. I like that our learning is reciprocal though. In turn I've taught you all how to add up to 50. I don't know why you all keep trying to give me marketing advice though. You silly moos. Glóby has been successful beyond my wildest dreams. A total sell out at precisely 8.24am BST time. I'm laughing all the way to the bank. I was receiving so much positive feedback over on the Glóby account, I had to deactivate all the comments. It just wasn't fair to any other businesses launching who could have felt inferior in comparison. Not only do all my followers and peers appreciate the luxe behind this 4 hard-working tool kit, but now the actual government does also. If you didn't already know, they're now removing UK quarantines from all major European destinations to allow you all to make use of your Glóby travel tool kit. I'm grateful that BoJo shares my mission to empower all women everywhere. Well the ones who line my pocket at least.
I'm not gonna lie (for once) I was pretty livid that I had to upload a story to actually explain the concept behind Glóby. I always said my followers were stoopy, it's not a reflection on me obviously. And on a Saturday too. I'm so hard-working during the week, I have to take weekends off to recuperate you see. Sometimes Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Sometimes Fridays too. Depending if I'm on my daily period or you know just need a break. I think you've all underestimated my creativity however. It's obviously got lost in translation. Good things come to those who wait you know. I had 30 back mitts to test after all. Some actually came with 2 gloves so that took even longer. It takes time when you only shower once every 8 days. None of you are clearly as sustainable as me. It's very important to conserve water you know. I also can't help but feel you've being a little critical of late. But if I can tame wolves, then I can easily tame a few haters. I only block people for their own good. It's all about empowering people. And that Elle Belle telling me how to do my job, doesn't she know I have a marketing degree and been in the business for 8-9 years. And pretending to wish me a happy birthday, not genuine at all, she didn't even send me a birthday present.
I don't just empower people, but whole countries too. China has been losing lots of business after this pandemic fiasco so I'm only helping them out. I don't know what the issue is? I've made the back mitts out of black plastic not black bats. And because I bought in bulk from China, I qualified for free P&P. Well that isn't fair on Royal Mail is it? I like to give back to the economy so I've ensured I've charged you all inflated delivery costs, even if you only live down the road in Buckinghamshire like me. I'm not discriminate.
And I don't know why you all keep disrespecting Cawwiee's career. She won't find a boss babe as creative, innovative or hard-working as me. I even let her use our kitchen, not her own, to make us lunch. And didn't you know I saved up all my pennies to buy her a Gucci bag? Her very own. I'm surprised she doesn't sleep with it at night, especially after I drove Where's Wally away. She's not for sharing. Anyway she won't dare leave me. She knows I wouldn't write her a glóing reference (told you I was innovative) if she did. I'd sabotage her new job. Or get Lumi to do it. On this note, St. Tropez have also outed me by sending extra freebies to other influencers. Why didn't I get all the freebies? I tan too. Well to show them who's boss I've unfollowed them on insta and started promoting By Terry's new instant tan instead. It's a wash off version. I obviously want to be conscious of not wasting product so I'll leave it on for six days. Minimum. I like to thoroughly test products, as you know with my luxe back mitts.
Anyway I've got to to go now. My proud husband has my pasta and whispering angel ready downstairs. We're celebrating did you know? Don't forget to swipe up and hit buy. Oh scrap that. I forgot Glóby's sold out now. To real customers. So there! Stay tuned...