Lydia Millen #21 I'm a copycat, a bit of a tw*t, I'm no fox but I'll copy your Glowbylydia beauty box

[Elle Belle]

And the bit about looking at a new bed but emailing the company to see if it’s sturdy - you mean trying to get it for free - you think that the company will come back and be like no love it’s flaky as shit you couldn’t even sit on it basically it’s like a waterbed

To Bed Company

I am very interested in owning one of your four poster canopy beds (note I said owning, not purchasing but we’ll come onto that later). Firstly, I have an important question, is the bed like you know sturdy? It doesn’t have to stand the test of time as it’ll be replaced with something bigger and better in 3 months. But it needs to be sturdy. Really sturdy. There can be quite a lot of late night bedtime antics you see. Not marital sexy time, don’t be silly, my husband put a stop to that a long time ago. My bengal cat, the alive one, Lumi often brings me rats in the middle of the night. She’s such a little poppet bringing me gifts. It’s the most excitement I’ve had in ages. Well with the exception of gifted deliveries to the manor of course.

Anyway I digress, I do this all the time, I’m such a silly little sausage. I’m sure you obviously already know who I am. I am the best influencer, not only in Buckinghamshire but probably the whole of the UK, just look at my stats, stats don’t lie, just don’t look at tattle though. I am also a bougie boss bitch. Everyone keeps saying how well I’m doing during this pandemic, I’m the top of my game. I’m living the dream. Even my husband says how proud he is of my amazing progress. I need constant validation you see because I’m a delicate little flower. I don’t really like talking about myself if you hadn’t noticed, but with that said I would like to propose a deal. How about you give me the bed for free and I’ll advertise the crap out of it to my followers? I have 57 Instagram accounts so lots of followers. I’m trying to swap some of these accounts at the moment but the Instagram boss is saying no, it’s fraud or something, but what does he know, he’s just a troll, I’m going to block him for sure after all this gets sorted. Not everyone can be a bougie boss bitch like me. Anyway followers equal pounds signs did you know. They’re so gullible too, sometimes I hide the AD sign and sometimes I don’t even declare it haha. Think of all the sales, you’ll be a rich man, every one needs a bed, well maybe not paupers but as they aspire to be me I’m sure I can flog them one, maybe even two. I’ll ask my husband to promote the bed too. He’s an influencer also, not as popular or creative as me though. At a price of course. As mentioned before, he won’t sleep in the bed, but sometimes in the morning just as I’m about to vlog he sneaks in. We’ve so good at fooling our followers that we have a happy married life. They’re such dimwits.

Anyway I’m looking forward to hearing from you but more so to receiving the bed. I don’t mind if you throw in any extras also. I’m nice like that. Just to note we have two guest suites we’re currently redecorating too. They need beds also *wink wink*.

Yours Sincerely

Lady of the Manor, CEO, Business Owner, Lydia Elise Millen


Dear Lydia Elise Millen, Husband, Lumi and Rats

This is the third draft response I’ve attempted whilst trying to emit profanities. I’ve come to the conclusion that this must be a prank? Pauly D is that you? If not, are you fucking for real? We’re in the middle of a global pandemic for Christ’s sake. Our sales have plummeted because people are losing their jobs and income or dying so you know not being frivolous with their money right now. Sadly it’s a no to your proposal for now (and every other time for that matter).

Yours Sincerely

Director of Company (not a bougie boss but a real boss nonetheless)

 

[Wazabi]

That's it, I've created a @globylydia IG account Fuck you, Millen, you're so stupid you haven't even registered the brand name! Good luck with that!!

P.S. Dear Lydia, you and your entourage are obviously blocked, don't waste time trying to find it!

 

[Georgeeee]

Who's ready for this over-photographed 'entrance PORCH' being the new window?
Wonder what mug's providing the freebie?

Lydl's pretentious translations:

Front entrance porch=front door
The pantry=kitchen cupboard
The courtyard=basement light well
Guest suites=spare bedrooms
Cloakroom=downstairs bog
Our land= Back garden
The hamlet=village/estate her bungalow's in
Private road=lane
My husband=Ali
Bengal=cat
Working=deleting comments & blocking
Editing=photoshopping hole out of nose

 

[overthinkingit]

I thought that typeface looked familiar...

she will say it was "inspired"

 

[Lame]

Her trademark application for globeautyco has been withdrawn as of yesterday. Looks like someone filed an opposition notice forcing her to withdraw her application. She didn't succeed in registering the trademark. As a lawyer, it was a big mistake to announce the name before the trademark application had gone through. She should've waited for 2 months for the opposition period to end before announcing the name. Bad legal advice on her lawyer's part.

 

[Oohthedrama]

Her quote to live by is

“Be the reason someone clicks on that affiliate link...
so you can make a profit from them”​

and nothing else.
idiot

 

[Alfresco]

Just watched the latest vlogs from each of them, here are some key bits.

Wow, she loves the sound of her own voice. The faux posh accent is In overdrive, probably assuming she’s going to have some new followers and wanting to impress. Whilst it was on, my fella (definitely not watching) said “God she gets on ....ing nerves”.

She bought (?) a tray for the island thingy in the dressing room then cluttered it up with too much stuff including some weird coloured nylon flowers which don’t suit the room. They’re getting the front of the house tarted up. Apparently they had a “brainstorming” session about it. Ali got her some pink suede gardening gloves which I’m sure won’t look like that after the first use and they get wet. I fast forwarded the AD about something or other, looked like lard going on her hair.

A recycled wooden step turned up that she’s going to use in the kitchen. She mentioned this the other day, she’d seen one on “Goop” but they were too expensive. I’ve never heard her mention Goop before but Josie got some Barbie style wine glasses from there recently so nuff said. Goop sell a candle called “This smells like my vagina” so watch out for that being copied. Rest of it was waffle, didn’t listen.

His was mercifully shorter. He got a new bike, didn’t say what was wrong with the one he already had, wanted one like hers. His has a little bell on it though, cute. They’ve nearly run out of posh cat meat so a crate will probably be turning up soon. He went through all the faults in his room and the changes he’s going to make then they went out to a posh grocer’s on their bikes to buy a £5 cabbage (I made up that bit about the cabbage). He calls everything “bad boy” which gets on my wick but thankfully tonight he didn’t say his all time most annoying catchphrase “let’s do this”.

WTF am I doing with my life?

 

[Mewmins1]

So do we know what her product is yet?
I’ve been m.i.a for a few days my brother passed away on Sunday I’m struggling to sleep so thought I would come here for some escapism/anxiety relief
hope everyone is doing ok xx

 

[Wazabi]

As a qualified professional in the field, I am very annoyed at Lydia referring to INTERIOR DESIGN as her hobby.

Bitch, what you do is (bad) interior DECORATING. You are not an interior designer (and never will be, thankfully). It takes years of school and many certifications to be have that title.

It's like calling themselves a dermatologist for enjoying popping pimples!

 

[Lonelylondon]

So I watched some of Lydias old videos yesterday whilst I cooked dinner, and its not often you can see someone seemingly 'do well' for themselves or become more 'successful' and... feel sad for them? The videos I watched were from when she had between 100k-200k subscribers, before the engagement, before the wedding, before the big house.. One was when she went shopping in London with some friends (Alex (not the nail girl or the Scottish girl) and Kerry.. what happened to them? are they still friends?) and she went to Summer in the City, another one was when she went to Bodypower with Ali, then another where her and Ali went to the Cotswolds etc and I actually enjoyed watching them, heck I actually found myself smiling at some points!

This was back when she just seemed like a normal, nice, pretty, girl-next-door kind of girl who wore Asos and Boohoo but mixed in some luxury brands as well. She had good style that was unique and not copying every other blogger, she also dressed like a normal young woman. She lived in a small but nice house that she had put loads of effort into turning into a nice space, lived with her boyfriend, had a cat, drove a modest car, actually ate more than just pasta, hung out with people other than Carrie and Ali, and you know..actually did stuff!? She genuinely seemed happy and content back then.. she was humble and seemed genuinely appreciative of small things, like she seemed to appreciate and get excited over small everyday things, which i found kind of endearing.. she also used to do a mix of vlogs and favourites and try on hauls, compared to now where it seems like only vlogs, with the odd try on within in vlog.

Compared to now, where her and Ali seem to only ever eat pasta, sauce and cheese? I mean, don't get me wrong, I love pasta, but I'm not having it every day. Ali also looks sooo much less healthy compared to back then. They never go out and do anything (I know they can't really right now, but for the last 2 years they haven't really gone to many places or filmed themselves doing much), they NEVER go on holiday, and I mean a proper holiday, they work for themselves and all they need is an internet connection, they could literally work from anywhere..I get some people are home bodies but the occasional holiday once or twice a year is definitely feasible. I also don't really get this sudden interior designer that shes become, I get that it is fun to decorate and buy home stuff for a bigger house, but she never was like this when she lived in their small house, it would of actually have been quite nice to have seen how she changed and freshened up a smaller space, but anyway..

It just seems like shes gone from being a humble sweet girl who had friends, a nice relationship, ate a more varied diet, went out and did things, appreciated the small things, to someone who always wants more more more, doesn't seem to have many friends, eats pasta everyday, doesn't appear to appreciate anything that she has, nothing seems good enough, her house doesn't seem good enough anymore etc etc etc its just kind of sad to me..

She also needs to get layers back into her hair and get her old nose back which was sooo much better, but thats just my opinion and I don't want to focus on her looks too much! shes still pretty, just I think looked better with her natural features.

From what I see of their lifestyle/what they show genuinely makes me wonder if they are poor? lol I mean they have the million pound house and (gifted) designer gear, but to put it into perspective, me and my boyfriend collectively earn roughly £70k between us, live in London, rent a flat for £1900 a month (including bills), we eat a healthy varied diet (Aldi is the best) and don't have pasta every day, we spend money on commuting, we buy our own clothes (although tbh we don't really go shopping very often), we save every month, and we still manage roughly 2 nice holidays a year (or maybe 1 longer haul holiday), weekends away with eachother or friends and family. I'm not saying this to brag as my life is pretty average lol but I just mean.. they appear to have a lot more money that what I have, but they don't do any of these things?

Anyway, sorry for my long post lol

 

[Potatoes]

Trololololo. Even their 'own creative process moodboards' aren't theirs.





Oke I'll stop for now, I think the point is proven. Elementary Brands is faaaaaaaaaakeee.

 

[Georgeeee]

If Lydl released her own wine...

 

[Elle Belle]

So after all that, she’s only unveiled a box. A cardboard box. This is the most drawn out launch. Ever. It’s like being on death row with the faint hope of appeal. Or faking orgasms to save your partner’s ego in the hope it gets better (we’ve all done it ladies ). Or continuing to drink in the hope of hair of the dog. Basically these are not good things that come to those who wait. Who is actually going to buy her shit? Apart from the girl who self-professed she would buy actual shit. But we can discount her. I think the men in white coats will be calling her soon.

And Ali, whilst I appreciate a heart-felt sentiment especially in these uncertain times hun, have you actually lost your mind? No, really? There’s more than enough white coats to go around. The progress that no one else has seen? Lydia documents her entire bungalow life. Everything. We know every regurgitated beige meal, every calendar date she’s suffering from PMT and every time something minor has inconvenienced her. We’d even have the lowdown on the size of your manhood, well if she actually saw it that is. Pipe down old boy, that pampas grass you’ve tenderly photographed has shown more growth and progress.

 

[Santana]

Not sure I heard this right but when she was in her bedroom explaining why she was changing it, she mentioned the new four poster bed she wanted and said she was going to e-mail the company to see if it was "sturdy"???
What a strange thing to ask..Why doesn't she just say "I am going to ask if they will give it me for free because I am a professional begger and really good at my job" Lyds the Liar you are fooling no-one you pile of

 

[Tat_TEA_anna]

Why would you face plant pampas grass View attachment 123762

Lydia hiding in the bushes outside Josie's house to spy on their landscaping projects

 

[Elle Belle]

I vote Cawwieee is back in the bungalow UK Gov guidance now states you’re allowed a maid and nanny into your home. That pretty much sums up Cawwieee’s whipped job role in a nutshell...

 

[langwidere]

Oh god I got chills watching that scene in Ali’s vlog where he’s taking invalid geriatric lisping Lydia for a walk in their backyard. It’s like he’s gunning for Josie’s fiancé’s role...both of their limp-boned female breadwinners lisping and babytalking while their men talk down to them on camera. Got some inspo from your fellow beta dwarf on how to reassert your fragile masculinity hey?

I generally quite like Ali (I will regret saying this) because for all Lydia’s whimpering she still comes across as a domineering shrew—not to say that her pretending she’s some kind of sexpot baby isn’t setting back gender equality by decades. Make up your mind, Lidl. Are you a proud difficult woman? An alpha wolf who leads the pack? Why are you talking like that to Ali? He’s 5’2, at least make him stand on a stepladder before encouraging him to talk down to you! Oh, and it’s not cute to totter around your five square metres of lawn like a shrivelled lobotomy victim in a dressing gown. What the heck.

All of the British Youtubers are like this. Desperate to prove they’re girlbosses. What it really means is they want to compete with other women, and never men. I’d respect them more if they were tackling gender inequality in the workplace proper, rather than putting down other women while simpering, “Pick me, pick me!” to men.

 

[Elle Belle]

I mean we’d prefer it if you didn’t, but because I’m in a good mood I’ll help a girl out.

Antiques Road-Hoe

Look at my rusty dusty all the way from China steals, please buy to keep me in fauxtiques, white linen and beige meals

 

[Wophie]

Lol I love "we skipped buying a house"

Me too hun, but because I have no fucking money for one right now. I have also skipped buying a sports car, holiday home, yacht....

 

[chanandlerbong]

Braindump incoming: Even though it's obvious to everyone I can really sense how unhappy Lydia is in life as I went through a similar phase myself. I was out of work a few years ago and became obsessed with online shopping, constantly trawling the internet for random clothes, home wares or other shite I had seen on the internet, spending more money than I did when I was working on a never ending stream of orders. I stopped when I realised that I was only doing this because I was bored and lonely and obsessively searching for these things gave me a sense of purpose in my day, and waiting for the deliveries excitement - pathetic! To see Lydia's obsession with constant consumerism - redecoration, buying shit, begging for more shit - really reveals the state of her life and mental health. How does she have time for all this? Why would she not rather spend her life doing something fulfilling? Why is she actually so unhappy?

Also, her sudden 180 on having kids that has so clearly stemmed from narc jealously of her friends really disturbs me. It would be another hilarious example of her manic, greedy, competitive narcissism if it wasn't so tragic for any potential child they bring into that toxic household. Do we genuinely think she will go through with it? Just watching those two makes me feel awkward, the thought of bringing a child into their false, monetised marriage is so unfair