Lydia Millen #134 Paint the whole house Mizzle to get its value down to nizzle!

[Miscanthus]

Thanks to our @shiroyagisan for the brilliant thread title with 60 votes!

Lidl and Aldi are in the Maldives island of Fari, courtesy of Ritz Carlton hotels and Ali's manifesting, bringing into stark contrast the difference between influencer 'holidays' and our holidays......

* They beg a holiday. We book one.
* They don't pay. We save up our hard-earned money.
* It was on their bucket list "for years" since they saw Frow holiday there last month. We saw it on TripAdvisor.
* They do a 'pack with me vlog' (don't they?) while we get on with it.
* Pre flight lounge for them. A Prêt sarnie for us!
* They say they won't be 'working' on holiday then tell us it wasn't a holiday because they were working. We try not to do work...that's why it's a holiday!
* They wear a white linen dress and belt on a ten hour flight. We wear something comfy.
* Short haul holidays don't count as real holidays for them. A day off is a holiday for us.
* They guzzle champagne on the flight. We drink bottled water #hydrated
* Their in flight entertainment is The Botanist book. Ours is three films in a row.
* They travel business class. We turn right.
* They take a Hermès Birkin and mini Kelly and make sure they are in every photo. We take a beach bag and a clutch bag for evening .
* They wake up early to enjoy the sunrise. We have a lie in because we don't have to go to work (and we have jet lag).
* They eat lobster with a spoon #engagement. We use a knife and fork #manners.
* They have their photo taken in profile to show off their new boobs. We know profile shots are best avoided as our tummy is bloated from breakfast.
* They worry there is no internet to post excerpts from the hotel brochure. We worry there is no internet to read Tattle.
* They wear white shorts, a Hermès twilly around their wrist and take the Birkin to pose on a boat trip. We wear a sarong and bikini ready to swim.
* They meet 'fangirls' wearing #metoo Hermès sandals. We pray we don't meet anybody who knows us.
* They post their photo on Instagram with the caption "Beauty and Brains". We couldn't risk our mates taking the piss.
* They pose in orange and compete with the sunset. We pose in orange and look like we've been Tango'd (UK) / are an escapee from Guantanamo Bay (USA).

In other news
#clickbaitgate The backlash against Lidl's clickbait title "Moving Out" rumbles on, with 1.9k likes against a comment calling her out. She screens the word 'dishonest'.
#partygate Lidl's feet are too wide for her Valentino Rockstud sandals prompting her friends husband to bend down and tuck her toe back in ....euwwww!
#dressingroomgate
* The dressing room is now green, including the ceiling and handles. It's more 'her'.
* She loves it, except we know she's doesn't. It only cost her some paint...er...what about Ken's payment?
* She can't resist throwing the Heritage Wardrobe Company under the bus...again.
* Thankfully Lidl has given up on the faux beams in the dressing room!

* She did a shoot for Karen Millen in Chichester...or 'Haute Bohemia', as she calls it.
* She models a hat last seen in 2008.
* Lidl continues to stomp around the countryside, through fields of lambs and a farmer's newly planted crops.
* She's finished reading A Year In Provence. It took 18 months.
* In the car to London for her birthday meal Ali poured rosé from a Lidl's thermos. She hadn't cleaned it since her drunken hike and scum came out....gross!
* "Good things happen to good people" she quotes..... #hairgate #globygate...just saying!
* Now she's happy with her body she's not afraid to wear a good amount of colour, she says, wearing a pale peach dress.
* After thousands of comments about her stirrups she says they are the right way round....just like Her Majesty the Queen's! Wrong! @MissMidnight has the receipts.
* On holiday she's flogging the Rodial product that "nearly got her cancelled". No Lidl, you were caught using the blurring tool!
* Claire Chanelle is working with a huge range of clients and was pictured in the multi coloured Oasis dress that Lidl flogged.

 

[Milking Keynes]

Fantabulous recap! Hilarious and oh, so, true!

 

[Lola Faith]

Fantabulous recap! Hilarious and oh, so, true!

Agreed, and from now on Lady Lydiot of the Bunga shall be known as Her Travesty!

 

[MissMidnight]

Spectacular recap as always, @Miscanthus!

You have no idea how much I needed this laugh!

 

[Fauline]

Yes I agree 100 per cent.

Sorry, called Amber Amanda…all a bit confusing. I really think he is a troubled soul however, he is NOT a deliberately unkind or violent man. That sequence when he was slamming the kitchen doors (that she SO conveniently filmed) was the day he lost an absolute fortune. His anger was not directed at her. She tried to make out it was. She is just terrifying and being round her must feel so awful to whoever she is with.

For what its worth, Johnny Depp can come and swing backwards and forwards with me on my washing line any day of the week if he would like to. He can play his lovely guitar non-stop and forever more with no admonishment and he might enjoy the humour and conversations chez nous - who knows. Also, he is most welcome to come and share Teddy Bears super-comfy bed…I can offer free bed and board and all the mackerel he can eat - and then there’s the cellar…I mean what’s not to like?

Oh, I wasn’t mocking you about her name or anything of the sorts! Please don’t apologize - I was having a laugh because everyone on the Internet has been referring her to as “Amanda” since no one knew who she was before Aquaman.

Oh my, how lovely a scenario like that would be. He seems like the kind of friend you can sit in silence with and you both just enjoy one another’s company. No awkwardness. He reminds me so much of my father (in the best way). My main occupation is Photography and I would love nothing more than to do a photo shoot with this man. Let him find his peace after this trial, and have him do a follow up article on his new found freedom and self love. A sort of rebirth after the fire, like a Phoenix. He would pick a location that brings him nothing but happiness, calmness, and nostalgia, and he could be playing his guitar.

VOGUE Johnny Depp: A Stillness Beyond the Storm.

 

[Oops...]

Oh WOOOOOOOOW! WOW! Oh MY GOODNESSSSSSSSSSS! ANOTHER spectacular recap or RECAPULAR as I we should now call it. Every week it just keeps on getting better. Thank you sooo much dear @Miscanthus . I laughed out loud so many times this time! A year in Provence - took 18 months to read, on their bucket list for years since they saw it last week. Guantanamo…I could go on…

Also @shiroyagisan has given us our shiny new title and we can pat her on the back right here…

Here…

and HERE.

Also, if no-one minds, may I take this opportunity to introduce 3 of my closest acquaintances who have recently clamoured to join us? May I welcome;

Molly Deeves (Moll), Chanteuse and Pastry Cook extraordinaire.

Archie Pelican, Popeye understudy, can‘t spell his own surname (Peligo)

Tulip Von Amsterdam - Minx and all round good egg.

 

[Ms.Chanandler Bong]

Thanks to our @shiroyagisan for the brilliant thread title with 60 votes!

Lidl and Aldi are in the Maldives island of Fari, courtesy of Ritz Carlton hotels and Ali's manifesting, bringing into stark contrast the difference between influencer 'holidays' and our holidays......

* They beg a holiday. We book one.
* They don't pay. We save up our hard-earned money.
* It was on their bucket list "for years" since they saw Frow holiday there last month. We saw it on TripAdvisor.
* They do a 'pack with me vlog' (don't they?) while we get on with it.
* Pre flight lounge for them. A Prêt sarnie for us!
* They say they won't be 'working' on holiday then tell us it wasn't a holiday because they were working. We try not to do work...that's why it's a holiday!
* They wear a white linen dress and belt on a ten hour flight. We wear something comfy.
* Short haul holidays don't count as real holidays for them. A day off is a holiday for us.
* They guzzle champagne on the flight. We drink bottled water #hydrated
* Their in flight entertainment is The Botanist book. Ours is three films in a row.
* They travel business class. We turn right.
* They take a Hermès Birkin and mini Kelly and make sure they are in every photo. We take a beach bag and a clutch bag for evening .
* They wake up early to enjoy the sunrise. We have a lie in because we don't have to go to work (and we have jet lag).
* They eat lobster with a spoon #engagement. We use a knife and fork #manners.
* They have their photo taken in profile to show off their new boobs. We know profile shots are best avoided as our tummy is bloated from breakfast.
* They worry there is no internet to post excerpts from the hotel brochure. We worry there is no internet to read Tattle.
* They wear white shorts, a Hermès twilly around their wrist and take the Birkin to pose on a boat trip. We wear a sarong and bikini ready to swim.
* They meet 'fangirls' wearing #metoo Hermès sandals. We pray we don't meet anybody who knows us.
* They post their photo on Instagram with the caption "Beauty and Brains". We couldn't risk our mates taking the piss.
* They pose in orange and compete with the sunset. We pose in orange and look like we've been Tango'd (UK) / are an escapee from Guantanamo Bay (USA).

In other news
#clickbaitgate The backlash against Lidl's clickbait title "Moving Out" rumbles on, with 1.9k likes against a comment calling her out. She screens the word 'dishonest'.
#partygate Lidl's feet are too wide for her Valentino Rockstud sandals prompting her friends husband to bend down and tuck her toe back in ....euwwww!
#dressingroomgate
* The dressing room is now green, including the ceiling and handles. It's more 'her'.
* She loves it, except we know she's doesn't. It only cost her some paint...er...what about Ken's payment?
* She can't resist throwing the Heritage Wardrobe Company under the bus...again.
* Thankfully Lidl has given up on the faux beams in the dressing room!

* She did a shoot for Karen Millen in Chichester...or 'Haute Bohemia', as she calls it.
* She models a hat last seen in 2008.
* Lidl continues to stomp around the countryside, through fields of lambs and a farmer's newly planted crops.
* She's finished reading A Year In Provence. It took 18 months.
* In the car to London for her birthday meal Ali poured rosé from a Lidl's thermos. She hadn't cleaned it since her drunken hike and scum came out....gross!
* "Good things happen to good people" she quotes..... #hairgate #globygate...just saying!
* Now she's happy with her body she's not afraid to wear a good amount of colour, she says, wearing a pale peach dress.
* After thousands of comments about her stirrups she says they are the right way round....just like Her Majesty the Queen's! Wrong! @MissMidnight has the receipts.
* On holiday she's flogging the Rodial product that "nearly got her cancelled". No Lidl, you were caught using the blurring tool!
* Claire Chanelle is working with a huge range of clients and was pictured in the multi coloured Oasis dress that Lidl flogged.

View attachment 1228111View attachment 1228112View attachment 1228113

Whimsical recap! Well done! Also, good thing the poll has an option to tick multiple choices. Because she has done so much more than just one thing!

 

[Miscanthus]

Oh WOOOOOOOOW! WOW! Oh MY GOODNESSSSSSSSSSS! ANOTHER spectacular recap or RECAPULAR as I we should now call it. Every week it just keeps on getting better. Thank you sooo much dear @Miscanthus . I laughed out loud so many times this time! A year in Provence - took 18 months to read, on their bucket list for years since they saw it last week. Guantanamo…I could go on…

Also @shiroyagisan has given us our shiny new title and we can pat her on the back right here…

Here…

and HERE.

Also, if no-one minds, may I take this opportunity to introduce 3 of my closest acquaintances who have recently clamoured to join us? May I welcome;

Molly Deeves (Moll), Chanteuse and Pastry Cook extraordinaire.

Archie Pelican, Popeye understudy, can‘t spell his own surname (Peligo)

Tulip Von Amsterdam - Minx and all round good egg.

Thank you, dearest @Oops...
Of course, I know you turn left and don't travel in tracksuits but I had to generalise
Lovely to meet your friends!

 

[Ms.Chanandler Bong]

Agreed, and from now on Lady Lydiot of the Bunga shall be known as Her Travesty!

YES! Should we get it TMed, I wonder?

 

[Oops...]

Oh, I wasn’t mocking you about her name or anything of the sorts! Please don’t apologize - I was having a laugh because everyone on the Internet has been referring her to as “Amanda” since no one knew who she was before Aquaman.

Oh my, how lovely a scenario like that would be. He seems like the kind of friend you can sit in silence with and you both just enjoy one another’s company. No awkwardness. He reminds me so much of my father (in the best way). My main occupation is Photography and I would love nothing more than to do a photo shoot with this man. Let him find his peace after this trial, and have him do a follow up article on his new found freedom and self love. A sort of rebirth after the fire, like a Phoenix. He would pick a location that brings him nothing but happiness, calmness, and nostalgia, and he could be playing his guitar.

VOGUE Johnny Depp: A Stillness Beyond the Storm.

I am BEYOND inspired! What a truly amaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzziiinnnggg experience that would be

 

[Miscanthus]

Whimsical recap! Well done! Also, good thing the poll has an option to tick multiple choices. Because she has done so much more than just one thing!

I couldn't make you choose just three! That would be cruel!

YES! Should we get it TMed, I wonder?

Are you Meghan?

 

[K18]

@Oops... I just did a little google and read that BPD is a cluster b personality disorder, @MissMidnight would you agree?

 

[happyforest]

I literally gave myself a headache trying to find the AD. Rather DISHONEST, no?

 

[Michelle05]

Why does he even bother to put the AD when it’s almost undetectable?! I know he’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer but still? This just tells me he really really wants to hide it for some reason.

 

[Miscanthus]

Why does he even bother to put the AD when it’s almost undetectable?! I know he’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer but still? This just tells me he really really wants to hide it for some reason.

I CAN'T see it!

 

[Ms.Chanandler Bong]

I couldn't make you choose just three! That would be cruel!


Are you Meghan?

Wait, what did I miss? Did that Murican hag have another go at it?

 

[lannx]

I CAN'T see it!

1st on the left next to the word reply
2nd and 3rd on the right under the arrow.

Sneaky bastard!

 

[Sage245]

1st on the left next to the word reply
2nd and 3rd on the right under the arrow.

Sneaky bastard!

Does anything happen when we report them to the ASA? I’m happy to do it, but I don’t want to waste my time if it’s pointless

 

[slipperfluff]

I literally gave myself a headache trying to find the AD. Rather DISHONEST, no?

View attachment 1228209

View attachment 1228210

View attachment 1228211

I can’t see “Ad” anywhere on those. Can anyone point them out to me?

 

[Milking Keynes]

Oh, I wasn’t mocking you about her name or anything of the sorts! Please don’t apologize - I was having a laugh because everyone on the Internet has been referring her to as “Amanda” since no one knew who she was before Aquaman.

Oh my, how lovely a scenario like that would be. He seems like the kind of friend you can sit in silence with and you both just enjoy one another’s company. No awkwardness. He reminds me so much of my father (in the best way). My main occupation is Photography and I would love nothing more than to do a photo shoot with this man. Let him find his peace after this trial, and have him do a follow up article on his new found freedom and self love. A sort of rebirth after the fire, like a Phoenix. He would pick a location that brings him nothing but happiness, calmness, and nostalgia, and he could be playing his guitar.

VOGUE Johnny Depp: A Stillness Beyond the Storm.

I know - I could have cried when Johnny said ‘I have lost nothing less than everything.’