A VERY BAD part of me wanted the punchline to be THE GROPER WAS... OMRI had my ass groped in Paris once.
I worked there for a year in my late 20’s ( thats actual work, not influencing).
Anyhow, my boyfriend at the time, came over to visit one weekend and we did loads of shizzle around the city. We were on the metro thing and it was rammed. I kept feeling my ass get squeezed, some might describe it as “significant gropage” , which I naturally assumed was my boyfriend.
However after a few minutes I realised that I was actually holding one hand of my boyfriend and his other hand was on the roof handle things.
So who was feeling me up???The weirdy lurking Pervy Mcperverson standing behind me is who! Well.
Quite the highlight of my 20’s that’s for sure.
(See, mamma TIT had a life once, too)
Lorna Luxe #16 Still needs a shower but she's busy photoshopping the Eiffel Tower
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I hope that part about the influencer passing wasn’t insensitive with @RaspberryCheesecake husband still being in hospital. I was just highlighting how these people are out here behaving like idiots thinking they are above everything and meeting their fate.
I was actually going to write that it was him as the faux ending to my bum groping story for a little comedy value.
The ‘predatory pourer’ still makes me quake with mirthI was actually going to write that it was him as the faux ending to my bum groping story for a little comedy value.
Emanuel was my betI was actually going to write that it was him as the faux ending to my bum groping story for a little comedy value.
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‘luggage’s’ was offensive on many fronts, not least the erroneous apostrophe..Not at all
Erm... "Luggage's", according to her Q&A
can anyone fill me in on this? Is it not a before and after pic?
She made a huge (paid) song and dance about the pk products making a difference to her weedy tresses, but basically had her hair dyed as the ‘after’ shot so of course it was going to look visually thicker as the roots were darker again. Ever since the original fine hair situation has been obvious as captured in numerous tattle screen shots. Just another paid for long con basically. Plus ca change
So the pic of her as wee girl she looked like Annie! And assuming she’s naturally ginger thats why her hair fades so fast! She’s just a pure fraud and can’t accept who she really is.
She had the same hairline then too ..and has probably straightened curly hair for years no wonder it’s like bits of string now . I’ve got long curly hair and I’m not a big fan of the PK elastiser.def couldn’t use it daily
With as much money as they have I’m really looking forward to seeing the pics of the private jet back from France!
Just in time for the next national lockdown.
We need to thjnk up some content ideas for Lorna cos she’s going to be struggling like buggery to find AT LEAST one month of content.
I’ll issue my predictions then we can do some lockdown Lorna bingo. Yay!!
* Giveaway
* Charity sale ( John will sort it all because she’s so lazy and needs a big old rest from doing absolutely duck all, all year )
* GRWM ( with or without filters?? )
* Online shopping “ I bought , I bought , I bought”
* Another Giveaway as her numbers really plummet when she’s not twatting around street corners getting photographed near bins.
* A live chat with either Penhaglions / BLM influencer ( she won’t have researched any content for this and will most likely be day-drunk with neck at a jaunty angle to disguise unfiltered face)
* More Online shopping because she really likes to shove her “ wealth” in the faces of the nation when they’re mainly struggling.
* A guest Q/A from Whipping boy whereby she asks the same questions to herself as she has done for the last 2 years
* Relentless posting of Parisian apartments and dining rooms that don’t belong to her
* Relentless posting of skinny women’s nipples and HERMAYS Birkins ( Black / GHW)
* No mention of lockdown / covid / economical / mental health struggles (although I will caveat this... there will be no mention of it UNLESS her numbers REALLY dwindle and she will bring up HER eating disorder and somehow make it ALL about her)
* Giveaway
* Reminder to everyone that she did have a job as an air hostess once. 2 decades ago.
Just in time for the next national lockdown.
We need to thjnk up some content ideas for Lorna cos she’s going to be struggling like buggery to find AT LEAST one month of content.
I’ll issue my predictions then we can do some lockdown Lorna bingo. Yay!!
* Giveaway
* Charity sale ( John will sort it all because she’s so lazy and needs a big old rest from doing absolutely duck all, all year )
* GRWM ( with or without filters?? )
* Online shopping “ I bought , I bought , I bought”
* Another Giveaway as her numbers really plummet when she’s not twatting around street corners getting photographed near bins.
* A live chat with either Penhaglions / BLM influencer ( she won’t have researched any content for this and will most likely be day-drunk with neck at a jaunty angle to disguise unfiltered face)
* More Online shopping because she really likes to shove her “ wealth” in the faces of the nation when they’re mainly struggling.
* A guest Q/A from Whipping boy whereby she asks the same questions to herself as she has done for the last 2 years
* Relentless posting of Parisian apartments and dining rooms that don’t belong to her
* Relentless posting of skinny women’s nipples and HERMAYS Birkins ( Black / GHW)
* No mention of lockdown / covid / economical / mental health struggles (although I will caveat this... there will be no mention of it UNLESS her numbers REALLY dwindle and she will bring up HER eating disorder and somehow make it ALL about her)
* Giveaway
* Reminder to everyone that she did have a job as an air hostess once. 2 decades ago.
Right. Let’s report bungle and zippy to the cops and get all there fake clobber and give it to the homeless appreciation society.
I see another benny hill sketch coming on.
It will be like ‘ hi-ya .. hope you’re all having a good day. John and me are in this very swanky jail. With her wearing her luxe prison robe. Has 4 walls and Chuck Norris in the corner. You duck wit Lorna luxe
And she won’t be getting any ‘cheeky champagne’ in prisoner cell block H.
I’m gonna throw in
* pics of gifted bottles of rose .
* slathering of a new gifted beauty Brand that she’s always used and loved !
* Unwrapping of a surprise present from OMR cos she’s feeling fed up.
How about:
*Ten minutes of drivel from the bedroom floor about how much she's missed Boo
*Lots more camera reel pictures of the Louvre from different angles, accompanied by lines of text about how much she loved Paris
*Images of her gazing wistfully out of the window, waiting for the Tesco/Fortnum & Mason delivery
*The car has been vandalised while they were away
*Images of the gifted Le Bristol bathrobes draped artfully over the spare bed.
*An image of a naked OMR in front of the oven wearing only the gifted Le Bristol pinny
(You're welcome.)
*Ten minutes of drivel from the bedroom floor about how much she's missed Boo
*Lots more camera reel pictures of the Louvre from different angles, accompanied by lines of text about how much she loved Paris
*Images of her gazing wistfully out of the window, waiting for the Tesco/Fortnum & Mason delivery
*The car has been vandalised while they were away
*Images of the gifted Le Bristol bathrobes draped artfully over the spare bed.
*An image of a naked OMR in front of the oven wearing only the gifted Le Bristol pinny
(You're welcome.)
@AllAboutTheMayhem feels like dejavu
Yes yes you say your skin has “never looked so good” about every bleeping freebie you get, no one cares anymore.
Don’t count on that poor little bastard being allowed anywhere near one of their trips before he dies
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