I understand what you mean but, having experienced a couple of the things I mentioned in my other post, the best therapy for me - and others that I’m friends with - has been working with other people whose current needs are greater than my own. I worked with the homeless and I felt incredibly grateful that, despite my experiences, I have a roof over my head and if something was to go wrong there, probably a sofa at a mates’ house that I could sleep on. It really balanced me out and I came home feeling much better about my own life.
Gratitude goes a long way in supporting good mental health and sometimes you have to take yourself out of your privilege and change your perspectives to see your blessings.
It’s not unusual for people to have nobody to turn to. Lily has a positive relationship with her mum now by the sounds of it (though not perfect). She has a good friend in Miquita and probably others. She’s luckier than many in that respect. Not to harp on at length about my friends again but my closest friend lost both her parents and she has no siblings and only a couple of good friends and can’t afford therapy - that’s what not having anybody looks like.
I just can’t sympathise with Lily as much as she sympathises with herself, she really hasn’t had it that bad comparatively.
‘The homeless’
‘I helped A homeless woman’
‘ Gratitude goes a long way in supporting good mental health and sometimes you have to take yourself out of your privilege and change your perspectives to see your blessings.’
‘ You get an enormous sense of reward from genuinely helping people to have greater wellbeing and the secondary benefit is that you get a very real sense of just how bloody lucky you are in the wider scheme of things.’
‘ I’ve been reflecting on all the people I know who have had traumatic experiences - which quite frankly make Lily’s experiences pale into comparison (I’m talking about people who have, between them, experienced gang rape, parental bereavement at an early age, childhood violence, incestuous rape, abusive relationships and other extreme traumas) and they don’t self-indulge like Lily does over her childhood and marriage breakdown’
‘ Lily seems to struggle more than most with similar disadvantage’
I hope you don’t say all this to the people who make you feel so much better about your own incredibly lucky life.
You sound very naive and blinkered for someone who has witnessed so much ‘actual trauma’ amongst your many ‘resilient’ friends.
How you know exactly what trauma lily has or hasn’t experienced?
How do you know what is trauma to each individual and how each person’s experiences shape them and how they experience events and feelings?
Praising people for how ‘resilient’ they are is not the compliment you think it is.
I hope you are not teaching any of this attitude to vulnerable or traumatised people, what a way to make others feel bad about how they handle their pain whilst you pat yourself on the back for being better off than ‘the homeless’.