Letting kids play out?

[shadowcat5]

It’s interesting how you’ve all seen similar things but very sad too. I’ve kept him in today and I half felt really mean when they knocked for him and half not mean because we can see from our home that they all ended up playing with a kid who tried to get one of the girls to drink piss the other week and used a spray bottle to put it along the fence where they all climb. Even typing that out makes me think why the fuck did I let him play out again with them after that incident I think I was desperate for him to have a chance at playing out like I did but maybe it’s just not as safe these days.

fucking hell. I don’t mean to be unkind but that is feral beyond feral

 

[Blair-Waldorf]

Sorry but I would not be letting my child associate with kids who are trying to make other kids ‘drink piss’

What the fuck

 

[CrystalWench]

I used to play out as a kid and as the above poster said you’d get the odd kid go home and tell on you or be sulking but our parents never got involved. Not because they didn’t care but they knew we’d all be friends again in an hour etc.
Fast forward to when my son was younger and I let him play out thinking it would be the same as when I was young, it wasn’t, kids generally seem a lot more vile and aggressive. Of course we would say the odd swear word but not as blatant or disgusting as now. My son was treated horrifically at times as well as subject to some casual racism, I stopped him playing out and made the effort of inviting his school friends over and now have moved to where there isn’t children playing out, it’s sad but he’s a lot happier. So no, I’d keep them in the garden and unfortunately get control over who they mix with. It’s definitely a very different world and very sadly not for the better.

 

[FlipFlop0706]

Tricky one but I’d relegate to the back garden! Invite kids round but only those whose behaviour is appropriate and where you can keep an eye on them more closely.

It’s a shame as playing out used to be quite tame, you’d get the odd kid who would flounce off home to tell his mum if you didn’t play his game, but threatening your child with being twatted by an adult is a completely different story!


Frankly I wouldn’t want my kid exposed to it if I can help it for fear of it rubbing off on them!

 

[Happyvalley]

This sounds very similar to the street we live in, at first it seemed great, a big group of kids all playing out like I did when I was younger and I was happy my kids were outside in the fresh air and off the computer.

But then very similar to what you are describing, lots of swearing and arguing began, some of the kids were extremely nasty and also their parents did not seem to care what they were up to. I used to end up feeding them snacks and drinks, I might as well have been a shop. In the end my youngest was constantly being bullied by them and one kid took a hammer to my child’s remote control car thing and smashed it. Their parents weren’t bothered in the slightest that it was broken and my child was heartbroken. I stopped the playing out after that and kept them in the garden. It was really hard at first and they used to gather outside my home, I’d end up closing the curtains all the time! Eventually it all fizzled out as the arguing and fighting got too much between them all and my kids are happier and safer in the garden.

 

[PinkBogeyBreath]

It’s interesting how you’ve all seen similar things but very sad too. I’ve kept him in today and I half felt really mean when they knocked for him and half not mean because we can see from our home that they all ended up playing with a kid who tried to get one of the girls to drink piss the other week and used a spray bottle to put it along the fence where they all climb. Even typing that out makes me think why the fuck did I let him play out again with them after that incident I think I was desperate for him to have a chance at playing out like I did but maybe it’s just not as safe these days.

 

[PinkBogeyBreath]

It’s awful isn’t it. There’s a few of them that are lovely and then the others are just vile. But there seems to be this undercurrent of you can’t just play out with a couple of them, it has to be all of them, because that’s when the threats of getting parents because you’re being mean etc start coming.

I’m so glad I posted though because you’ve all knocked some sense into me.

 

[FlipFlop0706]

It’s quite sad really how some parents literally don’t give a shit. If my kid had purposely broken someone else’s toy then I’d be marching them down straight down there to apologise to both the child and their parents and then purchasing a top of the line replacement out of their own pocket money!

 

[shadowcat5]

It’s quite sad really how some parents literally don’t give a shit. If my kid had purposely broken someone else’s toy then I’d be marching them down straight down there to apologise to both the child and their parents and then purchasing a top of the line replacement out of their own pocket money!

I was wondering this. I’m quite appalled at what I’ve read on this thread tbh. We always had the odd asshole but there was nothing like described! yeah there were the odd disagreements but it was just standard kid stuff. I’m not surprised no one wants their kids to play out if that’s what’s going on.

Question for everyone, why has it got worse?Theres always been negligent parents. Is it cause now we can’t tell off other people kids? Is it the social media? I’m just baffled at how it’s come to this because I can’t remember it being that bad

 

[Sunflower91]

Growing up, I lived in a back to back terraced house where the gardens met to a bit of a closed off pavement area. For the most part, I’d play out with a nice group of kids but we did get a couple of families move in with kids that were pretty feral. I remember twice having to stick up for myself/ hit someone back which resulted in having the parents come over and try and resolve things in a really unhelpful way. A brother and sister on the street were out all day- sun up to sun down, no matter the weather because their mother wanted them out of the house so she could do drugs. Another of the kids was allowed to get away with anything- swearing, stealing, fighting. The parents just really didn’t care. Looking back it’s really sad- I can’t fathom how these people just really didn’t care about their kids, I know eventually the ones with the drug addicted mother ended up separated and in the care system, the girl ended up/ had been being sexual abused.

Me and my sister eventually wanted to distance ourselves from them on our own. Even as kids we kind of knew that the trouble makers were different and it wasn’t something we wanted to associate with/ aligned with how we were being brought up. I think after a few bad interactions with the kids causing trouble, yours might make up their minds themselves to form a group of the nicer kids. Which makes things for you a little easier because then it’s not coming through as something you’re enforcing.

 

[PinkBogeyBreath]

I’ve not long started letting the eldest play out on our street with a group of (seemingly nice at first) kids in a range of ages from 5 - 10. It varies who is out on any given day but some of them... over time their behaviour has genuinely shocked me and now I’m not sure whether eldest should be out with them at all now or whether it’s just what kids are like these days when they think parents can’t hear. I’m not new to kids swearing but hearing a five year old call his sister a dickhead and a nine year old screaming YOU FUCKING CUNT at another kid is a bit much. The other day we had them right out front of our house and the five year old punched his older sister and ran off, she was sobbing so I went out to check on her and then ten mins later he’s back telling the kids that his mum told him if they were nasty to him and won’t let him play, he should be nasty back and then he starts swearing at them again. Meanwhile the other kids are like erm you punched her not the other way round, you can play if you don’t punch her. And then another parent who was probably earwigging like I was came out and comforted the five year old and reassured him to ignore the other mean kids and her kid would play with him when he came home. He was the mean kid!

Yesterday we had the same little girl who was sobbing, get pissed off that they wouldn’t play her game and she threatened my eldest that she would go home and get her dad to come and twat him for being mean to her!

But anyway, ramble aside, are we just unlucky with the kids/families nearby or is this what the kids allowed to be roaming out all day tend to be like?

Eldest has really enjoyed playing out with them (swearing aside) but after that threat yesterday, I’m wondering if he needs to be relegated to the back garden again! What do you all do with your kids?

This is all new to me because we’ve never lived somewhere they could actually play out before and it’s like a series of shocks every time he plays out

 

[shadowcat5]

How long has it been going on for and how many kids play?

I wouldn’t say it’s all kids there is always one that’s a bit of a bugger wherever you go but honestly, kids will often ignore it/carry on playing together without them and they eventually stop, especially when there is a big group playing. kids learn quickly that being a dick/grass/bully/selfish/spiteful etc. means no one wants to play with you.

Do you know the kids’ family? Is it possible that their dad would come round causing problems or is it all talk? I ask cause I had a neighbour like that but whether they told their family member or not I’ll never know but no one ever came around to tell us off. Kids are kids at the end of the day.

that said, if you’d feel safer keeping them out the back then do that. You know the situation better and I don’t blame you for not wanting your kids around that

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

How old is your child?

i think I’d stick to the back garden personally. I used to play out as a kid, but I generally played out on my own and stayed away from the other kids as they could be nasty. This was in the 00’s, but I did grow up in a rough area!

 

[FlipFlop0706]

Question for everyone, why has it got worse?Theres always been negligent parents. Is it cause now we can’t tell off other people kids? Is it the social media? I’m just baffled at how it’s come to this because I can’t remember it being that bad

In my opinion, there has been an erosion of basic parenting. Children require time and a hell of a lot of patience. When I was growing up, I was fortunate that my mum was a stay at home mum. She instilled her values and disciplined us when we needed it. Now, both parents need to work and children are packed off to childminders or grandparents. Parents are knackered when they get in and let’s face it by the time they finish work it’s tea, bath and bed with zero quality time with their children.


in addition, if you are getting paid shit money/looking after lots of kids or looking after your grandkids for free then you are going to take an easy life when they are having a tantrum. You are not going to wait it out or discipline them. Simply, they are not your problem longterm. Anything for an easy life.

I’ve seen it with my friends niece. Her mother in law looked after her little girl and it was horrendous watching it as someone with a background in education. The times she needed a telling off instead were spent merely bribing her to behave or ignoring her behaviour until she ran out of steam.

I also think the rise in tech hasn’t helped. We’re all guilty of being on our phones too much. It’s distracting us from what’s going on around us.

Social media also plays a part. I can guarantee that drinking piss is a tik tok prank. Kids are getting exposed to things much earlier now without the capacity to fully understand it.

I also remember growing up and you’d never hear an adult swear especially around a child. Now it’s every other word. I was in asda the other day and saw this mother clearly at the end of her tether shouting at her kids- stop being a c*** or you’re going back to the car! Fuck off, you ungrateful s***” There was zero shame about talking to her kids like that.

 

[DOLLY DIMPLE]

I’ve not long started letting the eldest play out on our street with a group of (seemingly nice at first) kids in a range of ages from 5 - 10. It varies who is out on any given day but some of them... over time their behaviour has genuinely shocked me and now I’m not sure whether eldest should be out with them at all now or whether it’s just what kids are like these days when they think parents can’t hear. I’m not new to kids swearing but hearing a five year old call his sister a dickhead and a nine year old screaming YOU FUCKING CUNT at another kid is a bit much. The other day we had them right out front of our house and the five year old punched his older sister and ran off, she was sobbing so I went out to check on her and then ten mins later he’s back telling the kids that his mum told him if they were nasty to him and won’t let him play, he should be nasty back and then he starts swearing at them again. Meanwhile the other kids are like erm you punched her not the other way round, you can play if you don’t punch her. And then another parent who was probably earwigging like I was came out and comforted the five year old and reassured him to ignore the other mean kids and her kid would play with him when he came home. He was the mean kid!

Yesterday we had the same little girl who was sobbing, get pissed off that they wouldn’t play her game and she threatened my eldest that she would go home and get her dad to come and twat him for being mean to her!

But anyway, ramble aside, are we just unlucky with the kids/families nearby or is this what the kids allowed to be roaming out all day tend to be like?

Eldest has really enjoyed playing out with them (swearing aside) but after that threat yesterday, I’m wondering if he needs to be relegated to the back garden again! What do you all do with your kids?

This is all new to me because we’ve never lived somewhere they could actually play out before and it’s like a series of shocks every time he plays out

Worrying. X