Lauren Goodger #69 Time to put down your phone and walk away, instead take Larose to the park to play.

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Thanks for the votes on my winning thread title, there were some other worthy contenders but mine was perhaps a little more toned down and we’re still in a strange place with knowing what tone to take.

It’s really been a rollercoaster over the last few weeks. The last thread came after news of the incident post-funeral broke, this thread comes after the funeral of her ex Jake was held.

She turned up sporting a black eye and wearing an all whitE ensemble (as requested via the dress code) which someone suggested looked like an unmade bed. She brought along, or shared a flower arrangement with a friend featuring a photo of her and Jake together. That should have been where it stopped.

Sadly she then decided to make not one but two photo montages with inappropriate music featuring Big Loz the skinnier years and Jake from newspaper and magazine articles and some of her private collection. It struck me as a statement of her place in the pecking order of Jake’s harem - a pretty big group of women all claiming some kind of love story with him - along with a clear FU message to Chaz.

We are still waiting to see if any further action will be taken against Chaz re: assaulting Loz. They do not appear to be together, he has not been banished from Essex, she may be moving from the bungalow.
 
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Recap in short as the last thread has hurtled by.

BYG and Ch'arge have parted ways after fight causing 'alleged broke eye socket' downgraded to huge bruise on the night of Baby Lorena's funeral.
Bit of timeline displacement as usual from the Daily Faily who state he was arrested at midnight on the Weds but only released early Fri morning. Can't see the police having the time or space to keep him remanded for 30 hrs.
Some reports state Loz was arrested too and released on Bail but that seems to have been skipped.

Loz asking for Ch'arge to be removed from Essex as she is seen tossing his clothes out of the Dormer window of her bungalow. She then goes into 'hiding' in fear of her life.

No photos in the media for days and lots of discussions about the details of the attack and how she was sent home from hospital despite having an apparent broken eye socket. Many thought backgrid would surprise us with a photo of her return to hospital after this horrific attack. Lots of sympathy for Loz again and no one excuses anyone hitting anyone else. Ch'arge apparantly wants his side of the story to come out and he rang the Scum about it but nothing has been published so far.

Loz has appeared in exclusives with the Scum newspaper sporting a huge bruised eye and in the DM with sunglasses that suddenly aren't needed despite the blazing sun so said bruised eye can be seen by all.

Supposed Pap walk showing Loz walking dressed as the Pilsbury Dough boy in a flattering full body baby grow in polyester, reaching the parts other beers can not reach and almost transparent in tight places. Camel toe on show, areolas like huge chocolate buttons. Larose.x facing mum in the pram who is glued to her mobile as Larose desperately tries to get any one's attentions.

Obscure photos of Loz's self love with her new hair style and Ch'arge is photographed leaving the barbers after receiving his self love haircut. He seems to be displaying his own signs of some type of attack even though the photos sometimes show bruises and other times don't.

Next day more self love for Loz as she's photographed with Sharpied eagle wings, I mean eyebrows dyed to match her mood. Many questions about when Larose will get herself loved in all of this.

Next day Loz is photographed at Jake's funeral wearing white as requested but her outfit again looks creased and grips the wrong parts of her soft pretty body. She is described as looking like an unmade bed (eat your heart out Tracey Emin). Eagle wing sharpied eyebrows look uneven and very close together, great photos supplied by the ever impressive Pom.

She later reveals her floral tribute to Jake which looks like a flower bearers cushion at a wedding covered in dog wee, but she and Chloe have added photos of themselves with Jake. Rumours asunder about Jake's secret girlfriend in attendance at the funeral and speculation about whether this is Loz and this prompted the fall out with Ch'arge.

More photoshopped pics of Larose.x with now dark blonde hair as Loz picks up the baby's ashes and takes them back home.

Things seem to be getting back to normal with the Scrunchies (he a bike, she a ball) after a few minor disagreements about Loz's actions and newbies asking who is moleman? or what does BYG mean? have been prompted to read the Wiki page.

Both have been regularly on OF so they must be desperate to earn more cash or to entertain themselves in their grief.

Sorry if I've missed owt. Took mi Mam to Southport for't day so knackered with the drive and the boring day.
 
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Thank you @Clickbait for the new thread and brilliant title 👏🏼 👏🏼

Lauren is a world away from the person she was when she was dating Jake, physically she’s like a woman twice her age (and a lot of those are in better shape). She just spent a year and a half pregnant and she looks like she’s had 100 acid peels too many and the brows and fillers well… 🤷🏻‍♀️

She sells seedy pics of herself for cash and there’s nothing she won’t do to to get into the papers. Basically she’s at the bottom of life’s barrel and has been for years. Why would anyone want to have a secret relationship with her? What would the appeal be? I’m all for showing her support and encouragement to change her life etc, but let’s keep it realistic. She isn’t about to swept away by a knight in shining armour is she.
 
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She hangs on to these previous relationships, doesn’t she? Think she’s just never got over the ones she was (or seemed to be) happiest with.
She’s having a low period right now, she’s spiralling. Still savvy enough to try to make a quick buck though!

someone said it a few threads ago, I think we’re all invested in her really - we all wish she wasn’t such a car crash, right? I’d like to see her sort her life out a bit and turn things around, but she gets lower and lower in a weirdly calculating way.
 
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Thanks for the votes on my winning thread title, there were some other worthy contenders but mine was perhaps a little more toned down and we’re still in a strange place with knowing what tone to take.

It’s really been a rollercoaster over the last few weeks. The last thread came after news of the incident post-funeral broke, this thread comes after the funeral of her ex Jake was held.

She turned up sporting a black eye and wearing an all whitE ensemble (as requested via the dress code) which someone suggested looked like an unmade bed. She brought along, or shared a flower arrangement with a friend featuring a photo of her and Jake together. That should have been where it stopped.

Sadly she then decided to make not one but two photo montages with inappropriate music featuring Big Loz the skinnier years and Jake from newspaper and magazine articles and some of her private collection. It struck me as a statement of her place in the pecking order of Jake’s harem - a pretty big group of women all claiming some kind of love story with him - along with a clear FU message to Chaz.

We are still waiting to see if any further action will be taken against Chaz re: assaulting Loz. They do not appear to be together, he has not been banished from Essex, she may be moving from the bungalow.
thanks Clicky!
 
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She hangs on to these previous relationships, doesn’t she? Think she’s just never got over the ones she was (or seemed to be) happiest with.
She’s having a low period right now, she’s spiralling. Still savvy enough to try to make a quick buck though!

someone said it a few threads ago, I think we’re all invested in her really - we all wish she wasn’t such a car crash, right? I’d like to see her sort her life out a bit and turn things around, but she gets lower and lower in a weirdly calculating way.
She’s hanging on to this one in particular right now because it brings her attention and she can spew hundreds of old photos all over social media and increase her exposure ever more to keep bringing in the cash.

BYG is only ever 1 bad month away from signing on or a job at a supermarket checkout*

Ergh and just noticed she’s opened up her child’s IG to the public, so anyone can follow her. Sick, just sick. Poor kid hasn’t got a say in any of this.

*no shade to checkout staff, I did this job once. Bloody loved it. Poorly paid though.
 
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The DM trying to imply Loz was the secret girlfriend. 😅 He wouldn't look at her twice now but he's also not here to deny it himself so she can make up whatever she wants. Shameful.
 
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The DM also said she watched his funeral parade , and therefore not attend the funeral, yesterday.

God this is turning into a car crash I never envisaged either way!
 
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The Daily Mail love to rehash the same article with a tidbit of new information. So they create a whole article about ‘bringing Lorenas ashes home’, which in reality is one photo and then the whole story about Jakes funeral again.

Thanks @Clickbait for setting up the new thread and thanks to everyone who recapped. The last thread went by so fast!
What will this one bring…
 
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Recap in short as the last thread has hurtled by.

BYG and Ch'arge have parted ways after fight causing 'alleged broke eye socket' downgraded to huge bruise on the night of Baby Lorena's funeral.
Bit of timeline displacement as usual from the Daily Faily who state he was arrested at midnight on the Weds but only released early Fri morning. Can't see the police having the time or space to keep him remanded for 30 hrs.
Some reports state Loz was arrested too and released on Bail but that seems to have been skipped.

Loz asking for Ch'arge to be removed from Essex as she is seen tossing his clothes out of the Dormer window of her bungalow. She then goes into 'hiding' in fear of her life.

No photos in the media for days and lots of discussions about the details of the attack and how she was sent home from hospital despite having an apparent broken eye socket. Many thought backgrid would surprise us with a photo of her return to hospital after this horrific attack. Lots of sympathy for Loz again and no one excuses anyone hitting anyone else. Ch'arge apparantly wants his side of the story to come out and he rang the Scum about it but nothing has been published so far.

Loz has appeared in exclusives with the Scum newspaper sporting a huge bruised eye and in the DM with sunglasses that suddenly aren't needed despite the blazing sun so said bruised eye can be seen by all.

Supposed Pap walk showing Loz walking dressed as the Pilsbury Dough boy in a flattering full body baby grow in polyester, reaching the parts other beers can not reach and almost transparent in tight places. Camel toe on show, areolas like huge chocolate buttons. Larose.x facing mum in the pram who is glued to her mobile as Larose desperately tries to get any one's attentions.

Obscure photos of Loz's self love with her new hair style and Ch'arge is photographed leaving the barbers after receiving his self love haircut. He seems to be displaying his own signs of some type of attack even though the photos sometimes show bruises and other times don't.

Next day more self love for Loz as she's photographed with Sharpied eagle wings, I mean eyebrows dyed to match her mood. Many questions about when Larose will get herself loved in all of this.

Next day Loz is photographed at Jake's funeral wearing white as requested but her outfit again looks creased and grips the wrong parts of her soft pretty body. She is described as looking like an unmade bed (eat your heart out Tracey Emin). Eagle wing sharpied eyebrows look uneven and very close together, great photos supplied by the ever impressive Pom.

She later reveals her floral tribute to Jake which looks like a flower bearers cushion at a wedding covered in dog wee, but she and Chloe have added photos of themselves with Jake. Rumours asunder about Jake's secret girlfriend in attendance at the funeral and speculation about whether this is Loz and this prompted the fall out with Ch'arge.

More photoshopped pics of Larose.x with now dark blonde hair as Loz picks up the baby's ashes and takes them back home.

Things seem to be getting back to normal with the Scrunchies (he a bike, she a ball) after a few minor disagreements about Loz's actions and newbies asking who is moleman? or what does BYG mean? have been prompted to read the Wiki page.

Both have been regularly on OF so they must be desperate to earn more cash or to entertain themselves in their grief.

Sorry if I've missed owt. Took mi Mam to Southport for't day so knackered with the drive and the boring day.
Detailed and factual , well done 👏 as u were scrunchies ❤
 
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The DM trying to imply Loz was the secret girlfriend. 😅 He wouldn't look at her twice now but he's also not here to deny it himself so she can make up whatever she wants. Shameful.
On the Yas thread I have seen some screenshots of comments that Loz has made and she has said she met the current girlfriend at the funeral
 
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I am new to this thread, I have never really liked Lauren but do feel terribly sorry for her. I reckon she still loves/loved Jake regardless if she was back in contact with him before his death. The Daily Mail said they were back together in some calibre up until 2020, her life is in ruins, she's lost her baby girl, her fella apparently attacked her, maybe she is reminiscing on the good time she and Jake had and it's helping her. I do deffo reckon she is trying to piss Charles off though it is a bit too public for me but maybe he was her one that got away.
 
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So, they got together in 2012, split by 2013, back together in 2014, split again before BB - hence her “tuna” meltdown - the tuna reference during her Laorse pregnancy was still one of the best Lardy moments on tattle 2021.
Back briefly in 2015, split in 2016

how the duck is that a 5 year “solid relationship?

she’d show “unconditional love” for her dustbin man if he had a love island body and showered her with 5 mins of compliments

she clings to men like barnacles cling onto humpback whales
 
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So, they got together in 2012, split by 2013, back together in 2014, split again before BB - hence her “tuna” meltdown - the tuna reference during her Laorse pregnancy was still one of the best Lardy moments on tattle 2021.
Back briefly in 2015, split in 2016

how the duck is that a 5 year “solid relationship?

she’d show “unconditional love” for her dustbin man if he had a love island body and showered her with 5 mins of compliments

she clings to men like barnacles cling onto humpback whales

Awight gorgeous, your profile pic is so BEWTIFUL xxx
 
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I am new to this thread, I have never really liked Lauren but do feel terribly sorry for her. I reckon she still loves/loved Jake regardless if she was back in contact with him before his death. The Daily Mail said they were back together in some calibre up until 2020, her life is in ruins, she's lost her baby girl, her fella apparently attacked her, maybe she is reminiscing on the good time she and Jake had and it's helping her. I do deffo reckon she is trying to piss Charles off though it is a bit too public for me but maybe he was her one that got away.
What about her stalking MW then? She also said he was the love of her life too 🙄
 
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