Calling all lowlife’s (sic) and jealous hatters (sic) of Disney’s very own first-class-flying monkey, Kyle Pallo! Come and join us as we roast him for his continuing adventures in insulting his viewers’ intelligence, delusions of grandeur, shady grifting for easy money, sleazy thirst-baiting, tasteless click-baiting, ignoring his subscribers and in general being entitled, brash, petulant and obnoxious.
Stop Press: it appears Kyle’s antics are beginning to get media attention!
https://www.sfgate.com/news/article/disney-world-vloggers-hurricane-videos-17484223.php
Title by @curious_penguin – congratulations!
Our previous episode opened with Kyle at Walt Disney World deep-throating a giant pickle, and things went downhill from there – and we aren’t talking about the hurricane headed straight for Kyle and his family during their visit to Orlando. (So there is a God.)
At EPCOT our hero took time out to tell us he’d considered not vlogging every day but he realized he might as well continue becausehis life is so empty, shallow and meaningless that he can’t think of anything else he could do on his days off in the vacation capital of the entire world.
Then it was off to Tampa to see a Packers game (because all us Disney fans are fascinated by football, right?) with new found friend Anthony, who managed to impress some of us with his smoldering good looks and myself by not being an insufferable bony phony like Jojo. The next day Kyle informed us he stayed overnight in Tampa so perhaps it wasn’t only the Packers that scored!
With hurricane Ian headed for Disney Kyle spent a few hours at Animal Kingdom to film Disney doing hardly anything to prepare for the storm and told us he expected low crowds on Wednesday and Thursday, which for once made perfect sense because Disney had already decided to close the parks. Oh no! Kyle’s family had to cancel their trip due to the wind! Well, Kyle did eat that plate of spicy beans the other day.
Then the storm arrived and our hero hunkered down at Pop Century for a couple of days with a mystery camera-person, wine and enough junk food to feed an army; but he was sure to get the last meal kit just in case he got hungry. Many people thought it was incredibly selfish of him to take up hotel space instead of staying at his apartment ten minutes away, and told him so in every comment section imaginable on the Internet, but on the other hand that would have meant him spending two days locked up with Jojo and Jete, so perhaps pissing everyone off was the better of two evils.
The storm passed causing death, destruction, desolation and despair for thousands, but on the bright side Kyle got to jump around in some puddles, so yay, go Kyle! Whilst surveying the catastrophic storm damage (a few twigs) Kyle discovered a waterlogged, abandoned baby bunny, congratulated it on surviving, advised it to go and live its best life, and then completely failed to dry it off and take it to a wildlife rescue center – it’s not as if Disney have their own people for that kind of thing. Oh, wait, they do. But yay, cute half-drowned bunny for content! Go Kyle! No, seriously, GO. We’ve had enough of your narcissism and glaring lack of compassion for anyone or any living thing.
Oh dear, we went too far. Over on Twitter obsessive Kyle stan and Tattle-lurker FaridaPhoneNumber called us all nasty, vile, toxic bullies and sick individuals full of hatred. I mean, she says that like it’s a bad thing! SMH. She seems to have failed to notice that many of us used to be supporters of Kyle ourselves and only turned against him due to his appalling behavior towards us or others. It’s ironic that someone accusing us of being bullies and trolls should be using an anonymous Twitter account (from which she has never made a personal tweet) to witch about us over the garden wall. People in glass houses shouldn’t throw black pots and kettles, Annie Wilkes, you dirty bird.
It’s EPCOT’s 40th Anniversary, so Kyle spent a morning there filming lines of unprecedented lengths, and when he’d finished with his wrinkles he showed us lots of people waiting to buy merchandise. Being such a dedicated, hard working Disney vlogger he just couldn’t wait to get into a store to film all the shiny new stuff - so he didn’t wait, went home and told us to look stuff up on the Disney Store website instead. And he wonders why his subscribers and views are shrinking even faster than his hairline!
Then it was off to lunch with Sam whom he hadn’t seen in months, except we are pretty sure she was the mystery girl with white fingernails in his recent videos. Oh, no, that was another mystery girl, allegedly. Sorry, Kyle, but you lie so much we’re no longer believing a word of it.
Next up Kyle took us to Halloween Horror Nights at Universal. He just couldn’t wait to film inside the houses, again, literally, so he didn’t. Just as well considering he didn’t have a media invite with permission to film inside. He went with a group of people that he decided to keep off-camera, presumably because they were imaginary friends and not even they like him. The night itself seemed dull, the most horrific thing being the booger up Kyle’s nose clearly visible when Miss White Fingernails was feeding him carbs-on-a-stick. Perhaps she’s not Sam after all! Sending her our thoughts and prayers for being roped into his creepshow.
WAIT! Kyle entitled a video I made a mistake. Has he finally grown big enough balls to admit and apologize for his Covid isolation lies? For his distasteful ‘mental health struggles’ bullshit? For his hurricane clickbait, puddle-jumping and monetization? For his whining about expensive medication but spending thousands on VIP tours, an overpriced car, and a first class flight? For his deletion, blocking, and mud-slinging at fans who dared suggest he might not be perfection incarnate? Don’t be silly, he’s just click-baiting again to troll us hatters, claiming he screwed up a ride reservation.
What a relief, if he’d done the right thing for the first time ever we might be more inclined to go back to liking him and we’d have to find someone else to take the piss out of...
At EPCOT our hero took time out to tell us he’d considered not vlogging every day but he realized he might as well continue because
Then it was off to Tampa to see a Packers game (because all us Disney fans are fascinated by football, right?) with new found friend Anthony, who managed to impress some of us with his smoldering good looks and myself by not being an insufferable bony phony like Jojo. The next day Kyle informed us he stayed overnight in Tampa so perhaps it wasn’t only the Packers that scored!
With hurricane Ian headed for Disney Kyle spent a few hours at Animal Kingdom to film Disney doing hardly anything to prepare for the storm and told us he expected low crowds on Wednesday and Thursday, which for once made perfect sense because Disney had already decided to close the parks. Oh no! Kyle’s family had to cancel their trip due to the wind! Well, Kyle did eat that plate of spicy beans the other day.
Then the storm arrived and our hero hunkered down at Pop Century for a couple of days with a mystery camera-person, wine and enough junk food to feed an army; but he was sure to get the last meal kit just in case he got hungry. Many people thought it was incredibly selfish of him to take up hotel space instead of staying at his apartment ten minutes away, and told him so in every comment section imaginable on the Internet, but on the other hand that would have meant him spending two days locked up with Jojo and Jete, so perhaps pissing everyone off was the better of two evils.
The storm passed causing death, destruction, desolation and despair for thousands, but on the bright side Kyle got to jump around in some puddles, so yay, go Kyle! Whilst surveying the catastrophic storm damage (a few twigs) Kyle discovered a waterlogged, abandoned baby bunny, congratulated it on surviving, advised it to go and live its best life, and then completely failed to dry it off and take it to a wildlife rescue center – it’s not as if Disney have their own people for that kind of thing. Oh, wait, they do. But yay, cute half-drowned bunny for content! Go Kyle! No, seriously, GO. We’ve had enough of your narcissism and glaring lack of compassion for anyone or any living thing.
Oh dear, we went too far. Over on Twitter obsessive Kyle stan and Tattle-lurker FaridaPhoneNumber called us all nasty, vile, toxic bullies and sick individuals full of hatred. I mean, she says that like it’s a bad thing! SMH. She seems to have failed to notice that many of us used to be supporters of Kyle ourselves and only turned against him due to his appalling behavior towards us or others. It’s ironic that someone accusing us of being bullies and trolls should be using an anonymous Twitter account (from which she has never made a personal tweet) to witch about us over the garden wall. People in glass houses shouldn’t throw black pots and kettles, Annie Wilkes, you dirty bird.
It’s EPCOT’s 40th Anniversary, so Kyle spent a morning there filming lines of unprecedented lengths, and when he’d finished with his wrinkles he showed us lots of people waiting to buy merchandise. Being such a dedicated, hard working Disney vlogger he just couldn’t wait to get into a store to film all the shiny new stuff - so he didn’t wait, went home and told us to look stuff up on the Disney Store website instead. And he wonders why his subscribers and views are shrinking even faster than his hairline!
Then it was off to lunch with Sam whom he hadn’t seen in months, except we are pretty sure she was the mystery girl with white fingernails in his recent videos. Oh, no, that was another mystery girl, allegedly. Sorry, Kyle, but you lie so much we’re no longer believing a word of it.
Next up Kyle took us to Halloween Horror Nights at Universal. He just couldn’t wait to film inside the houses, again, literally, so he didn’t. Just as well considering he didn’t have a media invite with permission to film inside. He went with a group of people that he decided to keep off-camera, presumably because they were imaginary friends and not even they like him. The night itself seemed dull, the most horrific thing being the booger up Kyle’s nose clearly visible when Miss White Fingernails was feeding him carbs-on-a-stick. Perhaps she’s not Sam after all! Sending her our thoughts and prayers for being roped into his creepshow.
WAIT! Kyle entitled a video I made a mistake. Has he finally grown big enough balls to admit and apologize for his Covid isolation lies? For his distasteful ‘mental health struggles’ bullshit? For his hurricane clickbait, puddle-jumping and monetization? For his whining about expensive medication but spending thousands on VIP tours, an overpriced car, and a first class flight? For his deletion, blocking, and mud-slinging at fans who dared suggest he might not be perfection incarnate? Don’t be silly, he’s just click-baiting again to troll us hatters, claiming he screwed up a ride reservation.
What a relief, if he’d done the right thing for the first time ever we might be more inclined to go back to liking him and we’d have to find someone else to take the piss out of...
Stop Press: it appears Kyle’s antics are beginning to get media attention!
https://www.sfgate.com/news/article/disney-world-vloggers-hurricane-videos-17484223.php
Title by @curious_penguin – congratulations!
He’s such a leech and a parasitic creep. 
