Well done to @RitaSueBobtoo for the thread title suggestion and @TheGhostofShirleyBallas for the inspiration.
The shitshow goes on..
The Edinburgh trip continued with a very quiet Sunday. Maybe due to the fact she was hanging out of her arse after her pub crawl with Olive. Maybe because she was on the train back for most of the day because Delo didn’t fork out for a two night stay.
When she ‘got back on Monday’ she proved all her trolls wrong by showing us how she had actually entertained Olive for half an hour by taking her to touch lights covered in Covid.
The cringe was off the scale when she treated us to not one, but two reels that were about as well put together as her ankles after she’s attacked them with photoshop. Reel 1 asked us to imagine a world where she isn’t a winnet. Hard to do, I know. Reel 2 showed us that her lip sync skills and lyrical knowledge are as good as her make up tips when she got the words to a Spice Girls song wrong..
She put a Power Pony in, had her make up done by someone else even though her surname is ‘make up’ and then did a Q&A during which she asked and answered her own questions about trolls.
Made a comment about working/non-working mums and then deleted it when she realised how much of twit she sounded.
Did her back in. Has blamed the lifting of Olive in her car seat. Has failed to see the irony in the fact her daughter shouldn’t still be curled up like a Quaver in said car seat.
Despite being a make up artist and having a make up brush range, she has posted duck all about make up.
The birthday bonanza began with Olive spilling sweet chilli sauce all down herself and then being left in the dress for the rest of the day. They went for a Cream Tea at the Hilton (the same Hilton NatWest Val uses to grind against bathroom mirrors and the like) but hear this trolls, SHE IS STILL IN HER CALORIE DEFICIT.
She discovered a light up ‘29’ surrounded by the local primary school’s harvest festival display in her room. Even though it was a surprise, she still managed to tag all the companies involved. She and Diddy Delo then spent a romantic evening taking photos of Kate looking like Bubbles Devere in front of the giant number 2 and then editing her legs to look like ladles, scrolling through Instagram, and sharing beauty blender posts.
Olive finally got a day off from the fuckwits and after she’d been given a mini box of cornflakes off her Ma’s seventeen course breakfast tray, she was dropped off so Daddy could treat Mummy to a Groupon deal at a spa that he’d managed to snatch up before lockdown one.
At this present moment she has shared approximately 14,302,476 happy birthday posts. Most are off her cousin and her neverending list of ‘besties’. She’s proper been done dirty on a few of the pictures but as we and Matt all know, she doesn’t even filter her pictures anymore, so it must be the bad angels making her look like a cross between Matt Lucas and the wardrobe off Beauty and the Beast.
As always, READ THE WIKI.
The shitshow goes on..
The Edinburgh trip continued with a very quiet Sunday. Maybe due to the fact she was hanging out of her arse after her pub crawl with Olive. Maybe because she was on the train back for most of the day because Delo didn’t fork out for a two night stay.
When she ‘got back on Monday’ she proved all her trolls wrong by showing us how she had actually entertained Olive for half an hour by taking her to touch lights covered in Covid.
The cringe was off the scale when she treated us to not one, but two reels that were about as well put together as her ankles after she’s attacked them with photoshop. Reel 1 asked us to imagine a world where she isn’t a winnet. Hard to do, I know. Reel 2 showed us that her lip sync skills and lyrical knowledge are as good as her make up tips when she got the words to a Spice Girls song wrong..
She put a Power Pony in, had her make up done by someone else even though her surname is ‘make up’ and then did a Q&A during which she asked and answered her own questions about trolls.
Made a comment about working/non-working mums and then deleted it when she realised how much of twit she sounded.
Did her back in. Has blamed the lifting of Olive in her car seat. Has failed to see the irony in the fact her daughter shouldn’t still be curled up like a Quaver in said car seat.
Despite being a make up artist and having a make up brush range, she has posted duck all about make up.
The birthday bonanza began with Olive spilling sweet chilli sauce all down herself and then being left in the dress for the rest of the day. They went for a Cream Tea at the Hilton (the same Hilton NatWest Val uses to grind against bathroom mirrors and the like) but hear this trolls, SHE IS STILL IN HER CALORIE DEFICIT.
She discovered a light up ‘29’ surrounded by the local primary school’s harvest festival display in her room. Even though it was a surprise, she still managed to tag all the companies involved. She and Diddy Delo then spent a romantic evening taking photos of Kate looking like Bubbles Devere in front of the giant number 2 and then editing her legs to look like ladles, scrolling through Instagram, and sharing beauty blender posts.
Olive finally got a day off from the fuckwits and after she’d been given a mini box of cornflakes off her Ma’s seventeen course breakfast tray, she was dropped off so Daddy could treat Mummy to a Groupon deal at a spa that he’d managed to snatch up before lockdown one.
At this present moment she has shared approximately 14,302,476 happy birthday posts. Most are off her cousin and her neverending list of ‘besties’. She’s proper been done dirty on a few of the pictures but as we and Matt all know, she doesn’t even filter her pictures anymore, so it must be the bad angels making her look like a cross between Matt Lucas and the wardrobe off Beauty and the Beast.
As always, READ THE WIKI.
go ed queen Barb! Winning at life!!
bespoke hubs that it needs the option to inbox here cause can u imagine the scream everyone would have if there was a meet up! 
