Jake Quickenden #40 At the NTA’s and he’s kissing males, dressed as a vulva with painted nails

[plattyjoobs]

@bluecups has knocked @Lucyxxxx off the top spot this time with a brilliant title.

Old thread here

Jake Quickenden #39 Even in Dubai couldn't turn it down a notch, wife was in the corner flossing her crotch

So she said she’s in Manchester Tues & Weds this week and he’s in Aberdeen Thurs, Fri & Sat. I wonder who is looking after Spud because there’s no way he’s going to solo parent for two days and manage to get himself ready for his ‘work’ trip at the weekend. They’ve obviously had to come back...

tattle.life

Quick recap, feel free to add:
- Fakey went to the NTA’s as Doph’s plus one, got ignored by his management and ushered off the red carpet.
- Started wearing makeup hoping to get some good trolling content, but forgot to switch accounts before creating said content.
_ Did his much anticipated live with the Freakmans, doling out advice none of them are qualified to give.
-Remembered that Freddie existed and took him to see Man Utd and bought him some football boots, buyt not the ones he actually wanted.

 

[bluecups]

Thank you Platty! I still think it sounds weird, like the vulva has painted nails

 

[Wodge887]

For those worried about the SSS title deletion I think it was the suggestion that her children shouldn’t exist what was a step too far particularly around the time of baby loss awareness. Im pretty sure recognising Fakey looked like a vulva is safe

 

[Philimena cunk]

For those worried about the SSS title deletion I think it was the suggestion that her children shouldn’t exist what was a step too far particularly around the time of baby loss awareness. Im pretty sure recognising Fakey looked like a vulva is safe

He's the biggest bleep on tattle, by a cuntry mile ......

 

[bargainhunt99]

Thank you Platty! I still think it sounds weird, like the vulva has painted nails

Congratulations on the new title. Mine was quite similar but I wasn't copying. Honest.

 

[Lucyxxxx]

Thank you Platty! I still think it sounds weird, like the vulva has painted nails

*aims coke bottle directly at you*

 

[bluecups]

*aims coke bottle directly at you*

*catches coke mid air and adds to a large brandy*

Ah you're just still sore I got to meet Chris Lilley!

Your thread titles are still the best, I see them all over Tattle and they crease me

 

[Lucyxxxx]

*catches coke mid air and adds to a large brandy*

Ah you're just still sore I got to meet Chris Lilley!

Your thread titles are still the best, I see them all over Tattle and they crease me

*In my Richard Richard voice*
This isn't some sort of a joke you know, these are MY thread title suggestions!!!

I am so jel you got to meet the one and only Chris. I always imagine he is just like Mr.G in real life

 

[bluecups]

World's worst photo editing strikes again


Sneak preview of Jake and Sophie's outfits for the next formal occasion.

 

[CrazyBaldhead]

It's not like Fakey to have such a radio silence? Do you reckon he's necked too many gummies?

 

[bluecups]

Lucy, he was absolutely lovely. Very sweet and a bit shy. I travelled 150 miles to London beause he was doing a signing at HMV Oxford Street. MASSIVE queue that got cut off two people in front of me. Gutted. Went for a fag out the front of the shop and saw his tour manager also having a fag. Told him what happened and he said if you go round to the side door in an hour he'll be coming out. But don't tell anyone cos if there's a crowd he'll use another door. So I waited and met him. Here’s a pic I took of him. Happy days!

Back on topic. Where’s Fakey? Could be driving back to Colchester I suppose but this radio silence is very unlike him. What’s he up to?

 

[Glitterbelle]

I know it's un-pc now, but this always cracks me up and I think it's a song Peter Andre would have made up back in the day

 

[Lucyxxxx]

I know it's un-pc now, but this always cracks me up and I think it's a song Peter Andre would have made up back in the day

I remember on Summer Heights High when Jonah lied about his dad touching him to get out of class and they called his dad in to discuss it

 

[shysod90]

Not Jake getting a new thread and now he’s nowhere to be seenthis is unprecedented!
Oh well back to House of the dragon for me

 

[stargirl23]

Maybe fakeys been given a ban, he must be necking those gummies like they’re going out of fashion

 

[Cocobaby09]

*catches coke mid air and adds to a large brandy*

Ah you're just still sore I got to meet Chris Lilley!

Your thread titles are still the best, I see them all over Tattle and they crease me

I love Chris Lilley, Summer Heights High still a favourite.

 

[PrincessJeanie]

I reckon the fact there is silence from him, Flappy and Zelda, they are either still at his mums or on their way home. They’re not going to advertise if Fred’s off school today when they made such a big deal about the reason he wasn’t in Dubai was cos he had to go to school. I know it was for longer but surely they shouldn’t be keeping him off school because of a footy match on a Sunday? Other thing could be, the fact she does all the driving anyway, good chance that Flappy has brought Fred back by herself and left Fakey & Spud at Zeldas so he’s got help with childcare whilst she’s in Manchester tomorrow & Wednesday. We all know he’s incapable of looking after spud by himself so that also sounds pretty plausible

 

[shysod90]

I reckon the fact there is silence from him, Flappy and Zelda, they are either still at his mums or on their way home. They’re not going to advertise if Fred’s off school today when they made such a big deal about the reason he wasn’t in Dubai was cos he had to go to school. I know it was for longer but surely they shouldn’t be keeping him off school because of a footy match on a Sunday? Other thing could be, the fact she does all the driving anyway, good chance that Flappy has brought Fred back by herself and left Fakey & Spud at Zeldas so he’s got help with childcare whilst she’s in Manchester tomorrow & Wednesday. We all know he’s incapable of looking after spud by himself so that also sounds pretty plausible

Yeah it’s a giveaway when they’re all quiet, he’s definitely still there with Leo and Flaps whizzed back to Colchester so Freddie could go to school! There is no way he went back with her leaving him with King Spud and Freddie for two days!

 

[#noinfluencer]

14:09pm and he's STILL nowhere to be seen.... Has a silence as long as this been known before?

 

[PrincessJeanie]

Yeah it’s a giveaway when they’re all quiet, he’s definitely still there with Leo and Flaps whizzed back to Colchester so Freddie could go to school! There is no way he went back with her leaving him with King Spud and Freddie for two days!

Wouldn’t be surprised if him & Spud stay with Zelda until Flappy has finished in Manchester. Then she’ll pick Spud up and take him home and Fakey will go straight from his mums to Aberdeen on Thursday. Could be totally wrong though and he’s silent just so he gets loads of messages asking if he’s ok. He needs to do something to claw back his ever decreasing insta engagement rate