Jake Quickenden #26 in his head he's Aston Kutcher. Wearing jewellery like that he's more Pat Butcher!

[stargirl23]

Well done to @CrazyBaldhead for the winning thread suggestion with 43 likes.

I had to share the amazing poem our @bluecups wrote for fakey, it’s brilliant


Jake is being far too dull, this is very disappointing. I have written a prayer in this time of need, I hope it reaches him.
Let us pray


Our Jake who art in Dublin,
Quickenden be thy name,
Thy stag do has come,
Please do something some fun,
In Temple Bar as it is in Marbella,
Give us this day our daily bantz,
And forgive us insulting Warwick,
As we forgive you for nearly suffocating him,
Lead us not into the temptation of other z-list threads,
But deliver us from boredom,
For thine is the Turkey teef, the fake shoes and the earring,
Forever and ever

Amen, bro

Can anyone do a recap please?

last thread :

Jake Quickenden #25 his neck, his back he’s a useless old ball sack

Now Leo in crocs what a sad pair of cunts these two are .He can hardly see with that straw like hair in his eyes 🙄Try giving it a good wash with your hair burst as it’s as dry as my grass in the garden .Do we all have to suffer four months of the tit showing us his cat ,son,gym,ice bath,tik...

tattle.life

 

[Elle_Gee]

Going to a spa on your stag, wtaf?

 

[PrincessJeanie]

Just reading that insta aren’t going to promote so hard on the reels now. Apparently the Kardashian’s went public saying Insta was getting too much like tik tok and why couldn’t it be used for photos like it was. So for the time being, insta are going to take a step back with the reels. Let’s see what these two do when they realise that the constant reels aren’t going to help them up their engagement (not that it was anyway).

 

[Twinkal86]

So after starting the week saying he was having some time off social media due to his has never even mentioned cousins funeral, he did juat that. For all of 93 minutes before he was back posting quotes, followed by a Q&A post on the train back to "work" for his final day.

We all know if Nanny QVC hadn't have convinced him to get the train from Edinburgh he would have packed up his car with his gummies and pink shorts,drove to Scunthorpe and never gone back to finish the show, thank the lord he did though as he was re Gifted a watch from his bezza Dazza Day as a parting gift. Followed by some of the cast look genuinely relieved not to see his face anymore. Queue Aston smashing it!

The Q&A revealed what we've all known for a while. He's back in Panto even though his Q&A from last Christmas said he was a no from him . And what leading role you all eagerly want to know our talented X factor star is playing. Yep that's right, the FAIRY GODFATHER. Hollywood is calling Jakey we can feel it in our tattler bones

i

The usual content followed, undisclosed gifts which ASA got a fair few emails thanks @PrincessJeanie Followed by Tesco cooking ads of salmon, but Lord Farquard referred to that dish as gross as she's gone off fish and eggs. PREGNANT AGAIN!?

So after literally 1 day back with his much loved always missing family, he shipped warwick off to nursery, he spent a morning in the gym, then met with registrars to answer questions on each other, how they passed we've know idea? So they can legally get hitched now. Yay

After his busy Monday he headed to get a tattoo of the eagerly awaited for snarling wolf
Queue him asking we presume other customers to film him getting tattooed so he could create yet more reels. The content was rivetting. Followed by JQ filming Fred's reaction on facetime as Fred clearly spends 80% with his dad, the only time he's home is to film ads for his desperate mum and step dad.

Next up #flackstock. Its very obvious JQ wasn't part of the paid team, he was a bit part if that. But well done OffLimits management showing us you didn't care at all about Caroline, it was about getting your clients work with McDonald's

An impromptu reel of JQ and Doph dressed to the 9's swinging warwick around in a field. Thank you for showing us your tit hot parenting skills aka filmed the footage then sat and ignored your toddler on a slide whilst you edited it with your back to him in the back ground. Guessing warwick is used to that by now!

And the week was rounded up by the stag doo of the year in Dublin.

8/9 "mates" joined him, he bought himself a cheerleader outfit to film yet more rivetting reels whilst his mates sat in the back ground cringing inside.

It was clear to see he bounced from tattle to instagram for 36 hours straight and the desperate need to validate who was with him was aimed at us tattlers questioning who on these random blokes were and we were right, only one guy was from his child hood the others were besties of his dead brother and a guy he's known ten mins.

Roll on the exciting week ahead, we're waiting with baited breath!

 

[PrincessJeanie]

I’ll just leave this here…. I really hope he’s not hinting at bringing more music out

 

[Abetterusername]

That man's face in the spa...... It's giving me laife

 

[Tulip lady]

“duck off out of my face with that bleeping phone Jake “ he has zero idea about boundaries !

Who the hell takes their phone to the spa ???? I’d have grabbed his phone out of his hand and thrown in straight in the pool if that had been me

What a weird weird stag do

 

[bluecups]

Arrggh!!! None of the sites I use to watch his stories are working properly! Tried picauki, waragainstinstagrammers, stories down etc.
Can see everything up to the sweaty "discipline" gym story but not the spa one where it sounds like he's pissed his mates off.

Can anyone post the video here, please?

 

[Nixxs]

Arrggh!!! None of the sites I use to watch his stories are working properly! Tried picauki, waragainstinstagrammers, stories down etc.
Can see everything up to the sweaty "discipline" gym story but not the spa one where it sounds like he's pissed his mates off.

Can anyone post the video here, please?

Might have just updated. I was looking and it wasn't there then they all came up. I know insta has been a bit glitch this morning might be why

 

[PrincessJeanie]

Might have just updated. I was looking and it wasn't there then they all came up. I know insta has been a bit glitch this morning might be why

Yes same for me. I refreshed the site a few times then they all appeared

 

[Philimena cunk]

duck me. If the stag/hens has been this shite, imagine what the wedding of the year is gonna be like ...

 

[Tulip lady]

He shouldn’t be filming in a spa end of !!! It’s an invasion of other peoples privacy .

Oh and Sophie …. Why does she need to film herself doing her hair with her Boulder tits out ???? So many have asked how she does her hair …. No Soph they haven’t …. You just need to do an AD

 

[bluecups]

Thank you @PrincessJeanie and @Nixxs I refreshed and they're working now.

I don't believe they're hungover, all they did was drink a few girlie cocktails. They're all just pissed off and want to get away from Jake. That was a genuine look of contempt from his mate who didn't want to be filmed. Creasing at his little bald "mate" who has taken himself off to the hotel foyer to escape Jake haha

The look that says it all

I bet this fella is on the phone to his missus right now-
“Alright babe, do me a favour. As we expected Jake is being a massive bleeping tool. I can’t take anymore, I’m gonna knock those teeth down his bleeping throat. Give it ten minutes till I’m sat with him and then ring me. I’ll put you on loudspeaker. Just say there’s been a flood in the house, the fence has blown down, the dog has escaped. Just anything to bleeping get me out of here, he’s worse than I thought it’d be.”

 

[Xxcxcc]

Jake has been well and truly showed up by his mate with that look. Bet his hole Elias going when he looked at him like that. Again he says it’s bantz. Nah mate he genuinely hates you and the rest of the people who are there. Shortest stag ever , but what else could we expect with his paid friends

 

[Philimena cunk]

Thank you @PrincessJeanie and @Nixxs I refreshed and they're working now.

I don't believe they're hungover, all they did was drink a few girlie cocktails. They're all just pissed off and want to get away from Jake. That was a genuine look of contempt from his mate who didn't want to be filmed. Creasing at his little bald "mate" who has taken himself off to the hotel foyer to escape Jake haha

The look that says it all

View attachment 1457984

I bet this fella is on the phone to his missus right now-
“Alright babe, do me a favour. As we expected Jake is being a massive bleeping tool. I can’t take anymore, I’m gonna knock those teeth down his bleeping throat. Give it ten minutes till I’m sat with him and then ring me. I’ll put you on loudspeaker. Just say there’s been a flood in the house, the fence has blown down, the dog has escaped. Just anything to bleeping get me out of here, he’s worse than I thought it’d be.”
View attachment 1457998

You broke them, Jakey. You and your irritating, annoying, passive aggressive got to film everything for the gram, shite bantz, and all round cuntiness...

 

[Xxcxcc]

Jake has been well and truly showed up by his mate with that look. Bet his hole Elias going when he looked at him like that. Again he says it’s bantz. Nah mate he genuinely hates you and the rest of the people who are there. Shortest stag ever , but what else could we expect with his paid friends

Was going

 

[The Duchess]

WTF they are in the spa? I have never in my life heard of a stag weekend to go Zorbing and most definitely not a spa!! Just when I thought he was turning it into a proper stags last night with them going out on the piss in Grafton Street and going to Café en Seine, I log on to see HE has organised a spa day! Has to be the worst stag do ever , say they are dying to go home! ( Its a bank holiday here, not sure about the UK? so are they staying tonight aswell?) just thinking of it , he never actually showed us him and his brothers mates inside Café en Seine so I wouldn’t be suprised if Fake just took a picture of the outside and put it on his stories) I thought the Zorbing was bad but a bleeping Spa now!! Will they be getting their nails done next and a spot of Brunch and some retail therapy next? My god hes such a twit!!!! (never fails to deliver great content for Tattle though )

edit: Obviously its the spa/pool in the Hotel but still it shouldnt be allowed on a Stags! and he shouldnt be filming in there either!
Hes out strutting around now with about 3 other blokes with a packet of Haribo in hand

 

[mollyann]

So just him and three strangers left on his stag.The one he pissed off by filming done a runner bleeping hell he is the most annoying obnoxious twit on Instagram how embarrassing and desperate he looks

 

[instatwit]

I don’t even think going to a spa is that bad, it’s the constant need for attention from everyone and filming that’s strange.

 

[Elle_Gee]

Going to the gym each morning of your stag is bleeping weird I'm sorry