Thanks to our @Philimena cunk for the winning thread title
Belter
Sums our fake up perfectly
Recap
Since the last thread not a lot has happened because the Ickenden family’s content is
Insta - Jake had his lifetime ambition fulfilled with a sell out gig, Soph had her sell out ITS hen edit and Nanny qvc got her beautiful new smile
Reality - Jake went on a murdering rampage armed with a guitar, innocent gym goers trying to go about their business were witness to the murder of a ‘mysterious girl’
Not one of them mentioned it on their stories, which is understandable because we know they don’t like to overshare
Whilst home he got lots of content of golden child with Purdey
A beautiful video he loved so much he shared it over & over for 3 days for more likes of his faithful followers to see it
He’s staying with nanny qvc this week which is just as well because in the early hours of Thursday morning he was on his deathbed
He couldn’t get out of bed or stop shivering because he’d been struck down with life threatening…..tonsillitis
He couldn’t go to work for 2 days so spent that time resting fannying about playing pranks on his mum, promoting her page and ‘closing her curtains’
This resulted in su having a scripted meltdown that her darling Jacob captured on camera and this replaced the Leo4likes video on a loop on his & Su’s page, riveting stuff
Sophie was wetting her pants over ‘the best thing that’s ever happened to her’ she became the face of cheap tat for ITS that was a total flop Two days after launch there was 40% off and now there is up to 60% off
A week on and it’s not even mentioned Better get back to those #ads & #affs because I don’t think Gucci will be calling anytime soon
Nanny qvc returned from getting her dodgy dentures done in Turkey only to end up ‘stoned’ on some cannabis chocolate she had been #gifted and then suffered a breakdown because her ‘show curtains’ got closed. To top it off she’s had to pander to her needy son’s every whim Poor woman has had the week from hell
Big brave soldier Jake decided the show must go on & returned to work on Saturday as his darling mum & Matt would be in the audience to keep him going
The turkey teef trio (thanks to @Twinkal86 for that)
On Sunday he was back in the bosom of his family and poor Leo was unwell
(cold, sore nose & cutting teeth) so daddy of the year wrapped him up snug in bed to help him get better
Wait a minute
Sorry Daddy & Mummy took them to a park to play with just t-shirts on whilst everyone else was wrapped up in jackets
then stripped him off to sit in the garden naked playing with a bubblemachine
C.U.N.T.S
Fake & Lord Farquaad then got dolled up & went to Essex zelebrity haunt Sheesh where fake ate lots of soft, bland foods that wouldn’t irritate his sore throat
Bank holiday Monday was a lovely family day at the farm where the focus as always was on Leo4likes and Forgotten Fred was ridiculed by Prickenden Roll on the day either Fred or his Dad knock this dick out
Can’t wait for more manic fake, Lord Farquaad of kingdom aff and soapy su content this week Yayyy
Carry on tattlers, if you haven’t lost the will to live with this boring tit
Belter Sums our fake up perfectlyRecap
Since the last thread not a lot has happened because the Ickenden family’s content is
Insta - Jake had his lifetime ambition fulfilled with a sell out gig, Soph had her sell out ITS hen edit and Nanny qvc got her beautiful new smile
Reality - Jake went on a murdering rampage armed with a guitar, innocent gym goers trying to go about their business were witness to the murder of a ‘mysterious girl’
Not one of them mentioned it on their stories, which is understandable because we know they don’t like to overshare
Whilst home he got lots of content of golden child with Purdey
A beautiful video he loved so much he shared it over & over for 3 days for more He’s staying with nanny qvc this week which is just as well because in the early hours of Thursday morning he was on his deathbed He couldn’t get out of bed or stop shivering because he’d been struck down with life threatening…..tonsillitis He couldn’t go to work for 2 days so spent that time This resulted in su having a
Sophie was wetting her pants over ‘the best thing that’s ever happened to her’ she became the face of cheap tat for ITS that was a total flop
Two days after launch there was 40% off and now there is up to 60% off A week on and it’s not even mentioned Better get back to those #ads & #affs because I don’t think Gucci will be calling anytime soon
Nanny qvc returned from getting her dodgy dentures done in Turkey only to end up ‘stoned’ on some cannabis chocolate she had been #gifted and then suffered a breakdown because her ‘show curtains’ got closed. To top it off she’s had to pander to her needy son’s every whim
Poor woman has had the week from hell
Big brave soldier Jake decided the show must go on & returned to work on Saturday as his darling mum & Matt would be in the audience to keep him going
The turkey teef trio
(thanks to @Twinkal86 for that)
On Sunday he was back in the bosom of his family and poor Leo was unwell
(cold, sore nose & cutting teeth) so daddy of the year wrapped him up snug in bed to help him get better Wait a minute Sorry Daddy & Mummy took them to a park to play with just t-shirts on whilst everyone else was wrapped up in jackets then stripped him off to sit in the garden naked playing with a bubblemachineC.U.N.T.S
Fake & Lord Farquaad then got dolled up & went to Essex zelebrity haunt Sheesh where fake ate lots of soft, bland foods that wouldn’t irritate his sore throat
Bank holiday Monday was a lovely family day at the farm where the focus as always was on Leo4likes and Forgotten Fred was ridiculed by Prickenden
Roll on the day either Fred or his Dad knock this dick outCan’t wait for more manic fake, Lord Farquaad of kingdom aff and soapy su content this week
YayyyCarry on tattlers, if you haven’t lost the will to live with this boring tit
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Considering how 
Lucky for him he has time to go to yoga, meditate, gym, etc….most people holding down jobs are working full time so don’t get the opportunity 
Also I agree that he’s panicking as it doesn’t look like he’s got anything worthwhile lined up career wise. They were probably relying on her getting a contract with ITS which looks highly unlikely after the ‘success’ of her edit 
