Something to note with these comments, they are echoing things that we point out here, could almost be written by one of us. Except these are from 4 years ago.The comments on that article
This was part of a Guardian job she had, which also led to one of my favourite Jack lines ever (context: she is learning to cook lasagne):
www.theguardian.com
I do remember how much more watchable she was when she started and how much more palatable and practiced the food was. Sheās allowed herself to think her personality was more important than the food.
Does anyone think that 'Celerie' is actually Natalia?
who is she Fuxking Jack Monroe. 
Generally we've found that while Jack has always been rather low energy and sometimes grumpy on camera, she was generally better in her 2012-2014ish era than she has been more recently. I think with Jack, it's not necessarily that fame ruined her, it looks like she had issues from before 2012, but rather that fame hasn't helped her.
Well, quite. This also ties in with her strange assertion that she taught herself to cook from reading ingredient lists on ready meals. Has it not occurred to her that ready meals are based on - hmmm, I don't know - actual dishes and recipes for said dishes have existed for hundreds if not thousands of years? Babe, M&S didn't invent lasagne, Lloyd Grossman did not invent Thai green curry, and you, dear heart, did not invent Gregg's vegan steak bake.This was part of a Guardian job she had, which also led to one of my favourite Jack lines ever (context: she is learning to cook lasagne):
I bought one from M&S, unwrapped it, felt through that sticky white sauce and revealed layers of minced meat, tomato sauce and pasta sheets. Not so mysterious.
It's a bleeping lasagne love, what were you expecting to find? Lord Lucan?
Jack Monroe's ready-meal challenge
Jack Monroe: Pushed for both time and money, many of us have come to rely on processed convenience food. But, with a little effort, you can make cheaper, tastier and healthier versions of the same dishes in your own kitchen
Early contender for next thread title
Not had time for any grunka'ing this week, just popping in to say brilliant recap and brilliant thread title. On my way out to a second date (first was last night!) so please bless my pulling pants!Congratulations to @blurstoftimes for the thread title! A colossal 133 reactionsIt really IS the blurst of times. Again, your name shall be known to the end of eternity.
Special mention to @colouredlines for Jack Monroe: She Left
Recap of thread #73
As always, please add any recap points that I have missed.
- Iām going to try to be brief for the Brief. Our one, not Jackās
- Has Jack Fixed It For You? If so, nowās your chance to write a letter to tell her just how much you love her, and why. And what for. And since when. And who do you love her less than. Literally just send all that tit to her agentās assistant, who really is dying for the unpaid but worthy job of opening Jackās fan mail #freenatalia
- titās gone down in Southend. Some mucky bastard had the literal cheek to put a For Sale sign outside her house. To experience the wild kaleidoscopic ride of those few hours outside an unassuming house on a quiet suburban street, see @kachoochoo ās epic post here . Bitcoin-a-plenty for you, dear frau, and you have Vladās grudging respect until Monday.
- To cut a long story short, an axe came into play, she howled āHeeeeeerrrreās Jackieā and took out the For Sale sign. Or, did she.
- She joked about crowdfunding a house again, a āslightly too-small houseā that she could call her very own. Sheās done the maths though, and she needs to sell a hell of a lot more books, so link in the bio, folks!
- Only itās not, because She Left. Again.
- No Twitter, no Instagram. Gone up in a cloud of ephemera.
- But, then she came back, for about five minutes.
- But, then She Left!
- <play: Twilight Zone theme tune> <play: The Clash, Should I stay or should I go>
For new joiners to the thread, here is @Passive_Aggressive_Lemon ās āJack for Dummiesā post (edited to include updated info):
Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
Limegoss article about Jack versus Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/
Thread #31 is the infamous one in which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on p. 17.
For anyone wanting to relive the glory days of her two-week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL), have a grunk a through threads 2-9.
*** JACKISMS ***
Jackās most oft-used reply to questions on recipe substitutions:
Yes, absolutely x
Some other favourite Jack quotes:
āBabe, sameā
āI did a chaosā
āMy maverick brainā
āMy sad little faceā
āIām BUSYā
āI HOOTED / I am FIZZINGā
āI laughed up a lungā
One of Jackās followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfrausā¢ļø. She also recently referred to us as āgossip mavensā (so, we are gossip trusted experts). ** Recent additions to her terms of endearment for Tattle: conspiracy wankers, obsessive groups of completely unhinged bullies, and bullying ninnies **
To āGrunkaLunkaā your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time (and is also a fearless pioneer of the space-time continuum. She really was here both Now and Then).
Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts in order to intimidate us, so thatās what we mean by that. * She may also threaten to take us to court - do not be afraid, this is not the first time and it wonāt be the last. *
Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that itās what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some āRIP Vivā jokes (she is, of course, NOT dead)
We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putinās bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.
During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to āhorse spunkā - there may be some horse āspiritā lasagne jokes.
Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: āThank you so Matt much, Mattā, which made us all HOOT.
Jack ended a tweet that listed her (not unimpressive) four-and-a-half GCSE results (A*, A, B, B, C) with: āNow duck offā. We sometimes like to use this in our own posts for comedic effect. We are NOT telling other fraus to duck off, simply paying homage to Jackās own genteel humour.
*Back in the mists of time, one funny frau used a Jimmy Nail āSheās Lyingā picture to illustrate their thoughts on one of Jackās latest tales. @Alpha Beta thought it was Novak Djokovic, the cabal hooted and Novak Nail was born. You may see reference to Jimmy Nail, Novak Djokovic, or the combination of both: Novak Nail. All demonstrate that sheās lying.*
Also:
- She grew up in a 5-bed (mortgaged/owned) house
- She got a Ā£4.5k Omega watch for her 21st birthday
- Her dad's a bleeping LANDLORD (an oldy, but a goody)
- Jack and Louisa are no longer in a relationship - in Jackās words: āShe [Louisa] leftā.
- Her record for staying off Twitter since the start of these threads is 114 hours and 47 minutes.
- She is 90% vegan. The other 10% likes to nom nom on Five Guys burger and discounted chicken slices.
- During her appearance on DKL, she was asked why some mince has a higher fat content. āIt just does.ā
- The information held on her by Companies House has her year of birth WRONG. She was born in 1988, not 1978.
Here is a link to Jackās Tattle Wiki page, which also includes clips of Matt Tebutt muttering āTerrible!ā on Daily Kitchen Live, courtesy of @Yel) and @Bookweevil ās hilarious Glossary of Jack.
We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we donāt discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. For good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos, come to the Food & Drink threads in Off Topic.
itās like a Frau has travelled into the past to warn everyone but the rudimentary time machine will only let her go back 4 years ago to the date that the evening standard published a story about Jack falling under a train
Alan you are always hilarious but you are extra hilarious at the moment.
Why am I picturing a lasagne splattered across a steel slab as Jack dissects the remains, recording her findings on a tiny tape recorder like she's in Silent Witness?This was part of a Guardian job she had, which also led to one of my favourite Jack lines ever (context: she is learning to cook lasagne):
I bought one from M&S, unwrapped it, felt through that sticky white sauce and revealed layers of minced meat, tomato sauce and pasta sheets. Not so mysterious.
It's a bleeping lasagne love, what were you expecting to find? Lord Lucan?
Jack Monroe's ready-meal challenge
Jack Monroe: Pushed for both time and money, many of us have come to rely on processed convenience food. But, with a little effort, you can make cheaper, tastier and healthier versions of the same dishes in your own kitchen
The fact you are on your way to the second date and weren't already there this morning, tells us you're a classy Frau
SOD alumni unite
Why would anyone with a bleeping brain give hundreds of thousands of complete strangers the material to become familiar with your kind, trusting child?! Remember in school when youāre told not to go off with strangers even if theyāve got sweeties, a puppy, or say your mumās ill theyāve come to pick you up? Are they having to tell kids even if someone can recite anecdotes or knows bits about your family donāt go either as they could have just read it off social media? Like for fucks sake please prioritise your children.
