Jack Monroe #70 #fakingmemories

[ChickenPorridge]

"traaazzzers? On a bird!?" is my favourite tattle quote ever. It says so much in so few words.

Same. It's made it into my internal monologue, regularly replacing "what the duck" several times a day

 

[Alansbigplate]

 

[Tabitha D]

"Finally, and most importantly, it should go to someone who breaks the mould, challenges the status quo, who has made an outstanding contribution to the world of the arts. A true Maverick"

...eh?

<terrible, just terrible>

The Groucho lot do not have a bleeping clue, quite frankly. It’s like Nigella - I do think she’s lovely, and her life has hardly been a bowl of cherries, but in monetary terms she has always been extremely privileged. Do you think that she has ever really known and properly interacted with a working class person - other than staff? So she probably thinks Jack is the genuine article. Jack, to Nigella and her ilk, is borderline presentable and has a nice posh accent to boot.
I suspect this is the mindset of the Groucho crowd. Jack is their little pet pov. She is the “acceptable” side of working class to them - mainly because she is not, in fact, working class at all. They would be engaging with her at all if she was an angry, inarticulate, genuinely struggling single mum on benefits. So the lifetime membership award was deeply patronising.
However, even though she may have free membership, she will still have to pay for the drinks, food and accommodation. Have you seen the prices??

 

[SweetTransvestite]

I‘m astounded. I didn’t realise she actually won an award for being a True Maverick. What utter wankery!
Nice to see Fassbender won in 2012. Bet he regrets coming across Jackie M’s path.

I imagine MF was awarded it for his services to LGBTQ+ conservation & preservation,
Seeing as he is the absolute litmus test for any queer women

 

[NellieBoo]

Yep, relieved Jack has not actually acquired a dog - she had previously said that her landlord would not allow dogs (though it is unrecorded how the landlord feels about the re-purposing of the shed, and the garish re-decoration of the dining room to look like a shed - or indeed how Jackie keeps referring to the landlord’s obviously rather splendid property as “crappy”).
Still, now that’s settled. JACK - TAKE COOPER TO THE VET TO GET HIS NOSE CHECKED OUT. SERIOUSLY. Take this from someone who loves cats,

Yes. Cooper's nose looks really bad. Very pitted.

 

[HarderFaster]

The bio has changed! Single mother is out - sober is in.

I always imagine Jack choosing what pithy lie to add to her ever-changing biog like Princess Mombi swapping her heads in Return to Oz.

Creepy.

 

[Missmopps]

I bet she loves it that when you type her name into Youtube one of her top all time cringe moments is high up on the list. Maybe her, Toff, Sarah Vine and Liz Jones could have a fab night out together at the Groucho!

That Mick Hucknall-esque ridiculous red combover bouffant style she has here gives me the rage.

 

[Captainmouse]

That Mick Hucknall-esque ridiculous red combover bouffant style she has here gives me the rage.

It’s her friend, she takes it with her, just in case

 

[Missmopps]

i can't realistically see anyone wanting seconds or leftovers

I’m one of those people that quite like cold leftovers. This abomination and crime against fish fingers would be boak inducing hot, cold, any which way. I’m still waiting for the recipe to actually see it written down that a whole block of butter goes into that nutribullet....

 

[Alansbigplate]

I always imagine Jack choosing what pithy lie to add to her ever-changing biog like Princess Mombi swapping her heads in Return to Oz.

Creepy.

 

[FrumpyCat]

Yes, absolutely x

Never gets old.

 

[NellieBoo]

I’m one of those people that quite like cold leftovers. This abomination and crime against fish fingers would be boak inducing hot, cold, any which way. I’m still waiting for the recipe to actually see it written down that a whole block of butter goes into that nutribullet....

I LOVE leftovers. I will make certain evening meals with the sole purpose of having leftovers for lunch the next day, to enjoy in peace . But fish finger lasagne. Nah . And actually, fish fingers aren't that cheap! It would have been cheaper and more family friendly to do a veggie leek/spinach pasta bake with foil baked fish or fish fingers for non veggies.

 

[FrumpyCat]

"Finally, and most importantly, it should go to someone who breaks the mould, challenges the status quo, who has made an outstanding contribution to the world of the arts. A true Maverick"

...eh?

<terrible, just terrible>

It's ok, I don't think she won.

 

[Mel Donte]

It’s a dog belonging to a stand up she went to see.

Good to know that she's sorted her childcare issue.

 

[Tabitha D]

I LOVE leftovers. I will make certain evening meals with the sole purpose of having leftovers for lunch the next day, to enjoy in peace . But fish finger lasagne. Nah . And actually, fish fingers aren't that cheap! It would have been cheaper and more family friendly to do a veggie leek/spinach pasta bake with foil baked fish or fish fingers for non veggies.

Dear god. The original “dish” of fish finger lasagne was quite gruesome enough. As for “leftovers”. Imagine facing that stuff the day after - cold wet fishfingers, cold wet breadcrumbs. Damp spinach (dumped frozen into the pan so will have left a LOT of water) and mashed sweet potato. A claggy cold mess of cold cheese and uncooked flour. No seasoning other than a turn of pepper.
I’d rather starve.

 

[Blurp]

So I was curious if we are being unfair in making fun of her cooking videos because maybe it’s actually difficult so today I just tried making my own (I’m making an entire mezze feast for my boyfriend’s family tonight). Bearing in mind I have never used IMovie before but a few things : it is REALLY easy to figure out how to cut down the length of the clips and muting the audio is also incredibly simple. Sorry for the music - turns out Jack literally just chose the stock music that comes with iMovie

conclusion: Jack is a lazy, useless idiot

ps this is a recipe to make Lebanese green beans

What was in the bottle, please? And how many cloves of garlic?

 

[Cookiecookie]

I wouldn’t do it. I remember sitting in my home group telling a remember “I’m 72 days sober today!” because I’d been counting out of sheer amazement that I hadn’t picked up. I just stopped counting, it wasn’t a conscious decision. Each to their own I guess and it’s not a benchmark but I know of a fellow who was desperately counting the days and telling everyone and they relapsed.

The only person I've seen with a full countdown of days is Steve Jones, from the Sex Pistols. I think he only posts it on his anniversary though, not constantly spouting random days at people. The husband never kept track of his clean time either, just a rough idea of when he stopped.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

The bio has changed! Single mother is out - sober is in.

I suppose we’re just ignoring the kombucha as we have the relapse stories & 0.6% ABV beers then?

Not here to police anyone else’s tit but people @ her looking for advice or looking up to her for this tit which makes her lies genuinely dangerous. Much like her cooking I suppose

 

[PocketRLocket]

I lurk on this thread occasionally and just saw that she posted a photo of Lulu's dog. I know Lulu personally and can confirm that, whilst she is posh and rich, she is not old and NOT dating Jack Monroe! She's had a couple of psycho exes, so hopefully she won't be adding JM to that list. The poor girl has suffered enough.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

The only person I've seen with a full countdown of days is Steve Jones, from the Sex Pistols. I think he only posts it on his anniversary though, not constantly spouting random days at people. The husband never kept track of his clean time either, just a rough idea of when he stopped.

I do acknowledge the AA ‘birthdays’ and so does my husband but even that’s not such a big deal compared to the earlier days. I think it’s good to give yourself a pat on the back and I like to remember at least once a year how tit it was before I stopped.

The problem I have with JM doing it is if she’s putting out there she’s drinking non-alcoholic beer and karambucha (that has a percentage of alcohol) and also telling people she’s in AA, she’s giving off the wrong message about what AA is all about and what can trigger off the allergic reaction to alcohol. I know people in AA who won’t use mouthwash with alcohol in it in case it triggers the allergy. It’s really irresponsible. Plus it also makes me question why she’s telling people - it looks to me that it is solely for attention because her mixed messages about it at all is certainly not raising the correct awareness imo.