Congratulations to @TriviaNewtonJohn for your thread title! A handsome 74 reactions 
you are a literal thread title master!
Special mention goes to @IGisntreal for âLawyer up, ladiesâ - a verrrrry close second with 72 reactions
Recap of thread #69
you are a literal thread title master!Special mention goes to @IGisntreal for âLawyer up, ladiesâ - a verrrrry close second with 72 reactions
Recap of thread #69
- Well, hot diggedy dawg, the New Jack sure was cute. As sweet and homely as momâs apple pie (only not one Iâd want to eat, if you know what Iâm sayinâ).
- She posted another bruise photo - is this the real eye? Is this just fantasy? Answers on a postcard. For what itâs worth, I think itâs real. Now.
- Gosh darn it, she had a chilled day with âthe boyâ, which included big chuckles, Mrs Doubtfire and an anaemic looking cheeky lil fish pie and a âskyrocketing food billâ. Itâs ok though, she was channelling âZen mamaâ, so perhaps sheâll close down her Patreon and put out into the world what she has received. Rules of karma, innit.
- Hashtags galore! She was âmomâ, he was âmamasboyâ and they were âmakingmemoriesâ. She was also âcatmomâ and identified with âmomsofcatsâ - gotta earn that sweet US dolla, yâall.
- Oh, drama. She accused someone who interacted with her mother on Twitter of being a troll and told them to âlawyer upâ in a series of dramatic tweets, which were powered with enough hot air to fill three balloons.
- She made her Twitter private.
- And then her Instagram.
- Therefore, for as long as her Instagram and Twitter are âprivateâ to the hundreds of thousands of existing followers who can still see her content, the moral and sensible decision has been made to not share her updates here. Also, we do not want to arm the weapon (that being the rhetoric of us being bullying ninnies).
- Therefore, advantage Jack Monroe.
- Whatâs everyone having for dinner?
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For new joiners to the thread, here is @Passive_Aggressive_Lemon âs âJack for Dummiesâ post (edited to include updated info):
Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
Limegoss article about Jack versus Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/
Thread #31 is the infamous one in which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on p. 17.
For anyone wanting to relive the glory days of her two-week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL), have a grunk a through threads 2-9.
*** JACKISMS ***
Jackâs most oft-used reply to questions on recipe substitutions:
Yes, absolutely x
Some other favourite Jack quotes:
âBabe, sameâ
âI did a chaosâ
âMy maverick brainâ
âMy sad little faceâ
âIâm BUSYâ
âI HOOTED / I am FIZZINGâ
âI laughed up a lungâ
One of Jackâs followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfrausâ˘ď¸. She also recently referred to us as âgossip mavensâ (so, we are gossip trusted experts). ** Recent additions to her terms of endearment for Tattle: conspiracy wankers, obsessive groups of completely unhinged bullies, and bullying ninnies **
To âGrunkaLunkaâ your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time (and is also a fearless pioneer of the space-time continuum. She really was here both Now and Then).
Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts in order to intimidate us, so thatâs what we mean by that. * She may also threaten to take us to court - do not be afraid, this is not the first time and it wonât be the last. *
Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that itâs what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some âRIP Vivâ jokes (she is, of course, NOT dead)
We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putinâs bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.
During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to âhorse spunkâ - there may be some horse âspiritâ lasagne jokes.
Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: âThank you so Matt much, Mattâ, which made us all HOOT.
Jack ended a tweet that listed her (not unimpressive) four-and-a-half GCSE results (A*, A, B, B, C) with: âNow duck offâ. We sometimes like to use this in our own posts for comedic effect. We are NOT telling other fraus to duck off, simply paying homage to Jackâs own genteel humour.
*Back in the mists of time, one funny frau used a Jimmy Nail âSheâs Lyingâ picture to illustrate their thoughts on one of Jackâs latest tales. @Alpha Beta thought it was Novak Djokovic, the cabal hooted and Novak Nail was born. You may see reference to Jimmy Nail, Novak Djokovic, or the combination of both: Novak Nail. All demonstrate that sheâs lying.*
Also:
- She grew up in a 5-bed (mortgaged/owned) house
- She got a ÂŁ4.5k Omega watch for her 21st birthday
- Her dad's a bleeping LANDLORD (an oldy, but a goody)
- Jack and Louisa are no longer in a relationship - in Jackâs words: âShe [Louisa] leftâ.
- Her record for staying off Twitter since the start of these threads is 114 hours and 47 minutes.
- She is 90% vegan. The other 10% likes to nom nom on Five Guys burger and discounted chicken slices.
- During her appearance on DKL, she was asked why some mince has a higher fat content. âIt just does.â
Here is a link to Jackâs Tattle Wiki page, which also includes clips of Matt Tebutt muttering âTerrible!â on Daily Kitchen Live, courtesy of @Yel) and @Bookweevil âs hilarious Glossary of Jack.
We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we donât discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. For good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos, come to the Food & Drink threads in Off Topic.
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itâs like when a small kid yells âdonât you DARE tickle me!â while holding their arms up in the air and giggling because they actually WANT to be chased and tickled
