Jack Monroe #592 This thread is much better without her

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Thread title by @VeniVidiVicki, nominated by @secretsrsafe. You each win a year's Sky subscription because guest doesn't have one

The actual most liked thread title was "Is this finally the silence of the scams?" by me and nominated by @ahkrin but we've already had a very similar one so I went with the second most liked.

Recap! Footy Guest is back and talking about Liverpool. Despite her lockdown on who can comment, a self-professed "far right Schnauzer" slipped through and was informed by guest that she does not have Sky TV. Prior to this she advised someone to have friends help them physically lift a stranger's car off their driveway (there will be no legal repercussions there I'm sure!) and talked about people shagging in the Everyman cinema. r/thathappened

Past mitherings included when guest lied about jumping in the pool, or was it paddling pool? at a friend's party and the proof that she had a laptop when writing her first book, despite claiming that she slowly, gently, painstakingly typed it out on her antique Nokia. Meanwhile @Lazarus and @KebabGirl met IRL and @rage naan made a handy quiz for those of us who fear we may be guest.

The Patreon funds still remain unaccounted for.

Wiki up on the pink button!

 

[hoopdedoo]

Last night I went to the cinema. One of the previews was for a film about a famous singer who goes mad from being stalked by grinning frenemies. The lead actress (Naomi Scott IIRC) has short dark hair and a slight frame, plus a honk in her voice. Surely this is the most realistic depiction of guest's life since that Daniel Blake film.

Also, guest, if you're getting nostalgic for the good times, there appear to be lots of flying monkeys in Wicked.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Do you think liverpool saw her tweets and drew in purpose they thought duck imagine her if we win.. nah mate!!!

Also who else thinks she has bee home alone all weekend and making smoothies out of pot noodles or something and trying desperately to engage with people. #boredoffhertits

 

[Potatoes O’Houlihan]

I am loving it that there are receipts for her being the world’s greatest QPR fan hahahahahah such a phoney plastic.
Liverpool 4Eva, my arse

 

[Day3TShirt]

Big Chocco football mither - he supports Wimbledon FC (apparently) which dear OneStory felt may mean he’s from that neck of the woods originally. Against the odds, Wimbledon won the FA Cup in the 80s and became the nation’s favourite bunch of scrappy lil underdogs for about a weekend. It’s quite possible that despite not living anywhere near Wimbledon, he just latched onto them to be quirky, contrarian and ooh look at me, aren’t I interesting and unusual? Like something the chip off the old chocolate block might do.

 

[Soup or Noodle]

So, I wonder who guest is trying to get her claws into? Surely not SB's dad again.

Doesn't have sky sports: is she...
Watching it at someone else's?
Day pass via Now? What about WiFi?
Radio silence re kickball for months and now suddenly the reddist Liverpool fan ever, yet no mention of SB, who is a fan, watching it with her.

 

[hoopdedoo]

So, I wonder who guest is trying to get her claws into? Surely not SB's dad again.

Doesn't have sky sports: is she...
Watching it at someone else's?
Day pass via Now? What about WiFi?
Radio silence re kickball for months and now suddenly the reddist Liverpool fan ever, yet no mention of SB, who is a fan, watching it with her.

She's watching it at Jimmy Nail's house, if you know what I mean.

 

[RandomFishOils]

Sorry, but how small is that onion if it constitutes one-twentieth of a 1.25kg veg bag?

 

[BananaSmith]

Sorry, but how small is that onion if it constitutes one-twentieth of a 1.25kg veg bag?

A smol onion for a smol pixie.

 

[reCAPTCHA]

That onion is only marginally bigger than her thumbnail 🫤

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

Sorry, but how small is that onion if it constitutes one-twentieth of a 1.25kg veg bag?

View attachment 3241562View attachment 3241563

Too small to leave its mother, obviously.

I want to thank everyone for the Viz Top Tips. I have read excepts from the book myself and have, in the past, constructed a rattle out of a matchbox and ten dead woodlice for my grandson, and a vibrator out of an empty cigar tube filled with enraged wasps for - er, A Friend.
---

That onion is only marginally bigger than her thumbnail 🫤

But considerably cleaner.

 

[secretsrsafe]

Thread title by @VeniVidiVicki, nominated by @secretsrsafe. You each win a year's Sky subscription because guest doesn't have one

The actual most liked thread title was "Is this finally the silence of the scams?" by me and nominated by @ahkrin but we've already had a very similar one so I went with the second most liked.

Recap! Footy Guest is back and talking about Liverpool. Despite her lockdown on who can comment, a self-professed "far right Schnauzer" slipped through and was informed by guest that she does not have Sky TV. Prior to this she advised someone to have friends help them physically lift a stranger's car off their driveway (there will be no legal repercussions there I'm sure!) and talked about people shagging in the Everyman cinema. r/thathappened

Past mitherings included when guest lied about jumping in the pool, or was it paddling pool? at a friend's party and the proof that she had a laptop when writing her first book, despite claiming that she slowly, gently, painstakingly typed it out on her antique Nokia. Meanwhile @Lazarus and @KebabGirl met IRL and @rage naan made a handy quiz for those of us who fear we may be guest.

The Patreon funds still remain unaccounted for.

Wiki up on the pink button!

Yay thanks for the subscription

 

[BeardyBap]

Have we seen this?

Yes in her back yard? What are they doing, building social housing on the bleeping tennis club?
And she has apparently decided that they will, in fact, hashtag walk alone?

 

[Mr Krabs]

Have we seen this?
View attachment 3241926
Yes in her back yard? What are they doing, building social housing on the bleeping tennis club?
And she has apparently decided that they will, in fact, hashtag walk alone?

Hmm interesting she’s glommed onto the YIMBY movement. It’s not necessarily about supporting building in your area, more about building more homes in general and removing red tape so that prices go down.

Thing is, it’s a very American-centric movement, I won’t drone on about it but essentially it would mean higher density of housing and more city living.

What YIMBYs definitely wouldn’t agree with is a single person living in a massive detached three bed bungamansion on their own. Especially in a car reliant neighbourhood. If she was really a YIMBY she’d be keen to downsize into a one bedroom flat close to amenities and with a close community.

 

[EnglishRoseIrishRover]

If she was really a YIMBY she’d be keen to downsize into a one bedroom flat close to amenities and with a close community.

Anyone heard of anything like this in the last few months in the Southend district? Especially for cash buyers around the 156 - 158k range?

 

[Seaford Haggington]

Have we seen this?
View attachment 3241926
Yes in her back yard? What are they doing, building social housing on the bleeping tennis club?
And she has apparently decided that they will, in fact, hashtag walk alone?

She doesn't have a back yard to say "Yes" in. Because, and I don't know if she has ever mentioned this, she RENTS.

 

[L3moning]

Sorry, but how small is that onion if it constitutes one-twentieth of a 1.25kg veg bag?

View attachment 3241562View attachment 3241563

Jack's costings are ... questionable. And how long ago was this written? 10 stock cubes is more like 60p now.

 

[ahkrin]

If only we had the veritable bollocks index to confirm new costings

 

[Yer_wha?!]

Just dropping in to say football Jack is the twattiest Jack, in my humble opinion. She's clueless and as an actual lifelong Liverpool supporter, I want her nowhere near my club in any way, shape or form

 

[MavisBeacon]

Jack's costings are ... questionable. And how long ago was this written? 10 stock cubes is more like 60p now.

Love the JackMaths in it - a typical small onion is 100 grams. 1.25 bag of onions contains around 12-13 onions. Therefore cost of one onion should be about 8p. I wouldn't be petty about 3p with anyone else, but in guest's world that's a sum that could make all the difference between filling the bellies of three hungry people with plenty to spare yum yum yum, and howling and clawing on the floor of the supermarket while fingering the carrots.