Jack Monroe #509 The Silence of the Scams.

Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
Order Thread by Most Liked Posts
S

schadenfreunde

witchofwestbyfleet said:
Throwback to one of guest's less well remembered blog posts just because it's funny: I gave up my smartphone for a Nokia 3310 and radically changed my life. Warning for mentions of rape and the uncensored N-word and R-word, Jack doesn't warn for these in the post itself.

Summary:
  • Jack went to the cinema with her girlfriend - this is from October 2017 so she was dating LJC at the time
  • She checked her blog and saw she was getting death threats and being called the N-word in comments on a recipe for mashed potato. Seemingly she had managed to offend that most niche yet dangerous of groups: blind racists
  • She then decided to ditch her smartphone and buy a cute yellow Nokia (non-smart. Stupid phone?) that reminded her of the one on which she wrote her first book
  • From then on she started using the Nokia, her smartphone relegated to a modem for her laptop or to check Twitter whilst on the loo. I know she's full of tit, but surely not that much that she was on the loo every time
  • Subsequently she started sleeping better, her personal relationships improved, and she began writing more and becoming creative. Also her alcoholism was miraculously cured and she started taking a pot of camomile tea to bed instead of whiskey. Why you would do that when the tea will go cold, the caffeine will keep you awake, and the fluid will make you pee all night is beyond me
  • She felt "awake, alive, heel-kicking umbrella-swinging Broadway-musical good"
  • She laments that she felt suicidal - yes, THAT again - after receiving online abuse, and compares giving up her smartphone to ending an abusive relationship. Complains about internet service providers and the Government not doing enough to regulate online content
  • And shares a photo that was taken with the smartphone
Why doesn't she come out with stuff like this any more? At least it'd give us a laugh
Click to expand...
Why does she make out like she’s some troubled, traumatised detective in a police drama that can’t sleep at night and has to drink whiskey to sleep 🤣 she’s genuinely so melodramatic it makes me cringe so much!

I don’t even like to acknowledge the use of racial and ableist slurs - where was the need?? She could have highlighted the impact that cyber bullying was having on her without using this language but as usual she needs to resort to histrionics.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Heart
Reactions: 39
Shimmering

Shimmering

Amazing instagram account of a smoller than smol manic pixie dream girl which you may enjoy

 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 26
People-huv-tae-know

People-huv-tae-know

As per previous mentions of the Jack Monroe folk song, I looked it up. Basically it features a plucky heroine of smol pixie proportions who needs to cross dress in order to save her love.

There was a wealthy merchant, in London he did dwell
He had a lovely daughter, the truth to you I'll tell
Oh, the truth to you I'll tell
She had sweethearts a-plenty and men of high degree
There was none but Jack the sailor her true love e'er could be
Oh, her true love e'er could be
Now Jackie's gone a-sailin' with trouble on his mind
To leave his native country and his darlin' girl behind
Oh, his darlin' girl behind
She went into a tailor shop and dressed in men's array
And stepped on board a vessel to convey herself away
Oh, convey herself away
"Before you step on board, sir, your name I'd like to know"
She smiled all in her countenance, "They call me Jackaroe"
"Oh, they call me Jackaroe"
"Your waist is light and slender, your fingers are neat and small
Your cheeks too red and rosy to face the cannonball"
"Oh, to face the cannonball"
"I know my waist is slender, my fingers are neat and small
But it would not make me tremble to see ten thousand fall"
"Oh, to see ten thousand fall"
The war soon being over, they hunted all around
And among the dead and dying her darling boy she found
Oh, her darling boy she found
She picked him up all in her arms and carried him to the town
And sent for a physician who quickly healed his wounds
Oh, who quickly healed his wounds
This couple, they got married so well did they agree
This couple, they got married, so why not you and me?
Oh, so why not you and me?
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 28
indigocat

indigocat

stunrw said:
Have we found a condition she hasn't adopted yet? Vertigo?
Click to expand...
When posting, I was actually forensically considering if guest had med googled Ménière's disease, my Tenderstem. According to her Tattle wiki, thankfully that one is absent, for the moment. 😆

Eta, a missing the.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: 22
S

stunrw

indigocat said:
When posting, I was actually forensically considering if guest had med googled Ménière's disease, my Tenderstem. According to her Tattle wiki, thankfully that one is absent, for the moment. 😆

Eta, a missing the.
Click to expand...
But as we know she reads here shall we pencil it in for.....let's see......Tuesday ❄?
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 27
whatisityoucan'tface

whatisityoucan'tface

Jelly Bean said:
Yes I agree - the magazine was out to get him maliciously.
However I thought it was interesting that the issue of fund raising under supposed false pretences was being examined. Whatever the outcome of this case or motivation behind it.
Click to expand...
Lawyers quote law that supports their case, but they will also mention precedent that looks a bit similar but had a different outcome to what they want and say why theirs is different which is called 'distinguishing'. Then th judges will consider it in their judgement. So if Jack's latest wrangle ended up in court then it's possible they'd quote the Packham case. Ironic really, considering she'd think of herself as a fellow lefty hero except he has actual knowledge and expertise.

Apologies to other legal frauen and herren if I've explained distinguishing badly, in my defence I'm drinking beer on the beach rn ⛱
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: 32
Livia Fantasy

Livia Fantasy

Geetbo said:
I don’t think I could cope with her weighing in on energy bills with her jackmaths again. The vein in my temple has only just stopped throbbing from last time.
Click to expand...
It’s easy tenderbyblur, sleep all day after a J1g or two, then get up and do all your tweeting by candlelight sat on the bog, and only print out your 460,000 emails at 2am when the kw/h is lower. PROBLEM SOLVED. 😡 THE END.
---
Why guest beg
Need a new smeg
Only got smol legs
Can’t each inexplicable eggs

indigocat said:
When posting, I was actually forensically considering if guest had med googled Ménière's disease, my Tenderstem. According to her Tattle wiki, thankfully that one is absent, for the moment. 😆
Click to expand...
Derrière’s disease, more like.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: 36
L

L3moning

People-huv-tae-know said:
As per previous mentions of the Jack Monroe folk song, I looked it up. Basically it features a plucky heroine of smol pixie proportions who needs to cross dress in order to save her love.

There was a wealthy merchant, in London he did dwell
He had a lovely daughter, the truth to you I'll tell
Oh, the truth to you I'll tell
She had sweethearts a-plenty and men of high degree
There was none but Jack the sailor her true love e'er could be
Oh, her true love e'er could be
Now Jackie's gone a-sailin' with trouble on his mind
To leave his native country and his darlin' girl behind
Oh, his darlin' girl behind
She went into a tailor shop and dressed in men's array
And stepped on board a vessel to convey herself away
Oh, convey herself away
"Before you step on board, sir, your name I'd like to know"
She smiled all in her countenance, "They call me Jackaroe"
"Oh, they call me Jackaroe"
"Your waist is light and slender, your fingers are neat and small
Your cheeks too red and rosy to face the cannonball"
"Oh, to face the cannonball"
"I know my waist is slender, my fingers are neat and small
But it would not make me tremble to see ten thousand fall"
"Oh, to see ten thousand fall"
The war soon being over, they hunted all around
And among the dead and dying her darling boy she found
Oh, her darling boy she found
She picked him up all in her arms and carried him to the town
And sent for a physician who quickly healed his wounds
Oh, who quickly healed his wounds
This couple, they got married so well did they agree
This couple, they got married, so why not you and me?
Oh, so why not you and me?
Click to expand...
As I said when it came up before, we're a few steps over from a Timeline where we're talking about a smol pixie named Polly Oliver or Richard Carr (see the song "Billy Taylor" in the latter case).
 
  • Like
Reactions: 14
Jelly Bean

Jelly Bean

I was mithering about her newspaper thingy where she was going to take families shopping, and how affronted she was when it was suggested she was pitching the idea. They asked her alright haterz?

Screenshot_20230525_165212.jpg


But surprise surprise 😂

Screenshot_20230525_165247.jpg
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Angry
Reactions: 96
S

stunrw

Does anyone know if she offered to take food to Downing St and the Just Eat they ordered to save themselves was told to "do whatever was necessary" 🧐
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 17
Nottonightbabe

Nottonightbabe

Geetbo said:
You’re forgetting “growing tomatoes for my lover” Jack.
Click to expand...
Mediterranean tomatoes?

images (15).jpeg


In all seriousness I imagine her lover was disappointed. There's no way Jack would have the commitment to keep a plant alive.
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 31
Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.