Jack Monroe #468 Remove my photo! Warned!

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These neckbeardbros are wild though, Jack Monroe could break into their house with a Swiss army STYLE knife and mallet, curl one out on their kitchen table, teach Satanism to their children and turn their wives lesbian and they'd still simp off for her. Weird, weird bunch of lads.
That sounds like an episode of Criminal Minds!
 
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Not many likes on that last attention seeking post are there? Considering her massive Glastonbury sized following ? 777k views as well. 1616 likes. Many of those might be “off you go then” likes as well. Oh dear. Time to get a REAL job Jack pal. Why don’t you become an HCA and do stuff for others ?
I liked your post even though can you imagine working a ward alongside her as an HCA?! Never mind being a patient on the ward.

Southend Hospital is pretty dire, and there’s absolutely no need to add a Jack Monroe to its very long list of problems.
 
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These neckbeardbros are wild though, Jack Monroe could break into their house with a Swiss army STYLE knife and mallet, curl one out on their kitchen table, teach Satanism to their children and turn their wives lesbian and they'd still simp off for her. Weird, weird bunch of lads.
All she'd have to do is say,
"I'm suing a Tory"
And all is forgiven..
 
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Given that it has rained 147 days out of the last 150 here, and the whole of Ayrshire, Lanarkshire and Dunbartonshire are slowly sinking into the mud...I'd gently, sweetly, softly advise against it. I met two men coming off the West Highland Way at Milngavie the other day, and they were genuinely traumatised by how grim the conditions were (the warm winter means what is normally frozen ground, easy to walk on, is a boggy slog) .

And these lads were experienced walkers and wild-campers, not a southern doughball who claims to have arthritis and has never gone wild camping in her life, nevermind wild camping with an unhappy child, a rambunctious dog, and 35mm of rain per hour landing atop her head. Good lord, I think that if Mountain Rescue had to go out and save them they would probably charge her with wasting time and resources, just like they did those eejits who attempted Ben Nevis in flip-flops.

(Seriously though, there is no solid ground left in Scotlands' Central Belt, the mud has consumed us all, please send help, rubber dinghies and dry socks. )
🧀 self but live just a smol hop, skip and pixie jump from Milngavie and can confirm that apart from two brief (fecking) cold snaps it is a soggy mud bath in this area. Oor Jackie will need her Welly boots (being a huge E Blyton fan she will call them gumboots or galoshes)
 
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As she’s quiet and no doubt Farrow and Balling it up some brand new walls, I thought you might enjoy a rainbow smorgasbord trip down memory lane from everyone’s favourite understudy narrator.

I bring you, Jack and the Amazing Technicolor Slopbowls
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“What? Lil Ol’ Me?”
“Why yes, yes I AM too pretty to be poor! Thankspaceyou for noticing! Now, just how rich are you?”
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I’ve only listened to the first few minutes of that but she’s already told lies. She said she shared a room with foster children. No, she didn’t.
She said she saw terrible things in the fire service. No she didn’t.

It is so cleverly crafted to appeal to her middle class audience. I know some of them will have been listening and thinking ‘hang on, that isn’t how fostering works’ but probably didn’t say anything to their friends because it seems so unlikely that someone would stand on a stage and tell lie after lie about their life?

I might listen to the whole thing and make a list of every single lie she tells

Her voice is nowhere near as honky either.
It's ghastly isn't it?
You can sense her trying to be dramatic and squeeze out tears.
At one point she even says 'dramatic pause' which is just downright wierd. I bet that was in her notes and she wasn't meant to say it aloud 😂
(And you haven't got to her being brave and conquering her fears and singing yet 😬 Around 38 minutes. Just appalling).
 
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All she'd have to do is say,
"I'm suing a Tory"
And all is forgiven..
It’s that awkward thing though isn’t it? She can’t actually sue them because if she did she’d have to be open about her finances to show that she’s lost money/work from the allegations.

At the point she opens that can of unrinsed hoops HMRC, Patreon subs and everyone else in the world will be after.

At this point until May it’s basically Schrödinger's court case - she is simultaneously suing and not suing Tory Lee.

After the supposed statute of limitations? Well then she’s fucked anyway.
 
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As she’s quiet and no doubt Farrow and Balling it up some brand new walls, I thought you might enjoy a rainbow smorgasbord trip down memory lane from everyone’s favourite understudy narrator.

I bring you, Jack and the Amazing Technicolor Slopbowls
That, what I can only assume is bread and butter pudding, looks like she's spatchcocked a baby sloth.
 
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These neckbeardbros are wild though, Jack Monroe could break into their house with a Swiss army STYLE knife and mallet, curl one out on their kitchen table, teach Satanism to their children and turn their wives lesbian and they'd still simp off for her. Weird, weird bunch of lads.
Next you’ll be suggesting she could steal their copy of Beastiality Through The Ages and they’d still fund her……..
 
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As she’s quiet and no doubt Farrow and Balling it up some brand new walls, I thought you might enjoy a rainbow smorgasbord trip down memory lane from everyone’s favourite understudy narrator.

I bring you, Jack and the Amazing Technicolor Slopbowls
I am literally (not literally) starving at my desk until lunch time and I don't think you could pay me to eat anything on this list.
 
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As she’s quiet and no doubt Farrow and Balling it up some brand new walls, I thought you might enjoy a rainbow smorgasbord trip down memory lane from everyone’s favourite understudy narrator.

I bring you, Jack and the Amazing Technicolor Slopbowls
Well that's quite the dizzying array of vomit resembling "dishes" to choose from 🤢
 
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I'd like to not hear from Jack again until she's moved. If I read another post about how this move has been difficult (but also something she's great at because she's moved 500 times) I'm going to scream.

It had occured to me that when Jack said she was sofa surfing she literally meant surfing from sofa to sofa as at one point she had about three.

When people signed up to her Patreon I don't think they imagined Jack playing Floor is Lava in her living room, whilst pretending to do something about poverty in the UK.
 
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Oh, really, Jack? So you don’t have to make them out of sanded down tuna tins, even when you’re in dire straits? (the bones of your arse ones, not the Mark Knopfler ones)

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I know what egg rings are now, thanks to the canal - but now she's talking about egg poaching rings as well?

Google suggests they're just round-bottomed cups, but surely that's wrong for crumpets? Even her sanded-down tuna tins would be better, assuming you didn't mind some toxic chemicals and rust leaching out.

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That, what I can only assume is bread and butter pudding, looks like she's spatchcocked a baby sloth.
It’s ice cream made from leftover stollen and “stray pots of cream lying around” 🤢 after Christmas for a lucky, lucky friend she’s not seeing til a week later. I think I’d rather take my chances with the spatchcocked sloth.

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I'm sure this has been discussed before I discovered these threads but how does she square her brown-nosing Nigella Mum with Nigella being a massive Tory?
Jack's a massive Tory.
She targeted Hopkins, universally hated.
Now targeting Lee Anderson, who seems hated by the lovelier members of the left #BeKind love everyone types.
 
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