Jack Monroe #468 Remove my photo! Warned!

[HoopLaa]

The Greenbelt talk is my aneurysm. As a former foster child, survivor of CSA and incest, and unspeakable trauma (ACE score of 10/10) THIS is the thing that's angered me (paraphrasing):

"My parents were foster carers and from the age of 5 I've known full well, far too much about the darkest underbelly of the world, far too much about trauma, abuse, how difficult things can be...I was woken up in the night by girls as young as 8 who would tell me stories about things household members had done to them"

Making these things part of your story, feeling though they somehow qualify you to speak on behalf of all disadvantaged people, that really makes me furious. And all delivered in that warbly little pity me voice

And don't even get me started on the singing! That whole faux modesty thing "I sincerely apologise for what I'm about to do", trying to come across as self deprecating when if that really were the case she wouldn't be doing it. You can tell she thinks she's amazing in her delivery. So poignant. So fragile. So smol.

 

[jenny2603]

I saw two copies of Grifty Kitchen in Morrisons earlier and softly, gently, painstakingly placed Real Life Recipes by Fingers Kerridge in front of them.

 

[Edie Po]

That's another thing that's doesn't make any sense from Sniffarella.
She didn't want her mam & dad or SS to know that her and the kid were starving dickens characters but went to the papers.

It was nothing but a massive con and I wouldn't be shocked if I found out Spudly & Big Guns were in on it from the start.

---

Jack reminds me of Kathy Burke's character from gimme gimme gimme

Linda LaHughes dad was in a sideboard and not an iron lung ..makes ya think

 

[jordishaw]

Listening to the greenbelt thing...I'm so angry with her. Using "scared of social services" as an excuse not to meet her son's basic needs by asking her parents for help...grrrrrr.

And the lie about the family restaurant she worked in, not being her family's, you can almost hear her realise she made a mistake in mentioning it.

It's quite a performance to lie like that on an evangelical Christian platform, especially if that's your own background.

 

[pumbilical cord]

I am deceased

AI Jack didn't want you to stop breathing!

Spoiler: she's been ILL!

Grifter Ms. Jack Monroe slept on the couch for years until she got a serious case of couchitis. She was finally treated and has been recovering ever since. However, during her recovery, she found herself missing the ease and comfort of being on the couch all the time. So, she made a makeshift bed out of her old sofa and continued to sleep there every night.

 

[hoopdedoo]

The thread title made me laugh so hard I spilled my morning cup of tea all over the table. Send towel-os (or a Cotswold sideboard to replace the table).

 

[HoopLaa]

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Dino snores are what you take
Sleeping on the Couch
I hope my bones don't break
Sleeping on the Couch
Content jumping over me
Sleeping on the Couch
Missing out on wake up calls
Sleeping on, Sleeping on the Couch

Some may say
I'm snorting my days away
No way
And if it's Patreon day
Wahey!
Tomorrow I'll sleep all day
J1g
I may as well play

 

[Vinbisha]

Jack reminds me of Kathy Burke's character from gimme gimme gimme

You cannot be comparing the iconic Linda LaHughes with Jack Monroe?!

 

[Humblepumble]

Apols if it's already been mentioned but wtf is this

A coherent single mum? Implying that other single mums, what, can't string a sentence together?

And this? If those people are so poor that they have no voice and are invisible, why are you, greenbelt festival and you, Jack, not sharing some of your platform and giving more people a voice? Why not speak to people who are are actually experiencing poverty right now. Would that not be a bit more relevant anyway than someone recounting for the 1001st time a story that strangely changes a little bit each the they tell it.

Who tf goes to these talks and walks away feeling inspired to action or like they have learnt something? This kind of shite is everything that is wrong with our society and why social mobility is still really bad in the UK.

Sorry, angry. WARNED.

Edited so that screenies are smaller

 

[Deeznutslol]

"My parents were foster carers and from the age of 5 I've known full well, far too much about the darkest underbelly of the world, far too much about trauma, abuse, how difficult things can be...I was woken up in the night by girls as young as 8 who would tell me stories about things household members had done to them"

The bit after was awful too, where she talks about how the home was a ‘revolving door’ of children coming in and out and how hard it was for her to make a friend and then have them leave. Err no Jack, I’ve been in foster care before and trust me, it is far more bleeping traumatic for the child in care who has had their whole life turned upside down.

I’ve just got to the sewerside bit and I actually cannot get over the fact that she has completely changed the method of how she did it, when in that other news article yday she was claiming to have slit her wrists??? She’s bleeping sick in the head man, it’s horrendous.

 

[Sensible Susan]

Also strange for someone so body conscious

At least her manky feet weren't on show

She also claimed to be nude in the bath of money though so that's probably bollix too

 

[Nonah]

It’s incredible really the way she expects people to believe that she at once has the constitution of an ox (can safely metabolise amounts of booze and drugs that would kill a large man) and also can barely get through a morning without being besieged by ouchies and bad mentals before retiring to the fainting couch for a wan sit down. Incredible.

 

[jenny2603]

I asked AI Jack where she slept. Sadly I think she's been on the AI :

Ms Monroe likes sleeping on the couch because it's cheaper than renting an apartment and the couch folds down so she can easily fit in her small car. Ms Monroe is also neurotic about germs, so she sleeps on a disposable mattress cover and grabs a clean pillow every time she moves.
She never bothers to get up in the morning to make coffee or breakfast because she knows that her old cat, Mr Fuzzybottom, will bring her something when he comes home from his nightly wanderings.
One night, Ms Monroe falls asleep on the couch after an exhausting day of work conning people into spending their money on bogus Elvis memorabilia. She wakes up several hours later to find that Mr Fuzzybottom has left a disgusting bowl of semi-solid food next to her couch. Ms Monroe is disgustingly sick before she even has time to think about what happened!

"Mr Fuzzybottom has left a disgusting bowl of semi-solid food next to her couch."

I Mr Fuzzybottom.

 

[Country Bumpkin]

Apols if it's already been mentioned but wtf is this

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A coherent single mum? Implying that other single mums, what, can't string a sentence together?

And this? If those people are so poor that they have no voice and are invisible, why are you, greenbelt festival and you, Jack, not sharing some of your platform and giving more people a voice? Why not speak to people who are are actually experiencing poverty right now. Would that not be a bit more relevant anyway than someone recounting for the 1001st time a story that strangely changes a little bit each the they tell it.

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Who tf goes to these talks and walks away feeling inspired to action or like they have learnt something? This kind of shite is everything that is wrong with our society and why social mobility is still really bad in the UK.

Sorry, angry. WARNED.

Edited so that screenies are smaller

Hit the nail on the head. Couldn't agree more.

 

[Lucy Aeroplane]

There have been lots of moments recently on here where I could have illustrated or reinforced some of my more miserable points with an example from a friend or friend’s family. But I don’t even bother mentioning them in those contexts, because I don’t have the permission of the people concerned to share horrible things about them even anonymously on a pretty anon and niche internet forum, never mind on a bleeping stage in front of a festival audience. How completely grotesque would someone have to be to do that?

 

[Shawads]

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New merch... Find it on my.etsy store.
Linked here: if you've clicked here to see the link... Ha.. they aint one..

I'll pay anyway, link or no, what's your PayPal?

 

[Smol Pixel]

"Mr Fuzzybottom has left a disgusting bowl of semi-solid food next to her couch."

I Mr Fuzzybottom.

Mr Fuzzybottom is the new canal mascot.

 

[Lucy Aeroplane]

"Mr Fuzzybottom has left a disgusting bowl of semi-solid food next to her couch."

I Mr Fuzzybottom.

Hmm, my interpretation is that the AI is clearly telling us that Jack IS Mr Fuzzybottom, seeing as she’s the one who leaves the disgusting bowls of semi-solid food around.
Dr Jackyll and Mr Fuzzybottom.

 

[MoistenedGussets]

I'll pay anyway, link or no, what's your PayPal?

It's easier to send a cheque tbh. Make it out to Crackers Anderson Small Holdings, or just put CASH for short. I'll sort the rest... I wont

 

[Helatruralhome]

That's another thing that's doesn't make any sense from Sniffarella.
She didn't want her mam & dad or SS to know that her and the kid were starving dickens characters but went to the papers.

It was nothing but a massive con and I wouldn't be shocked if I found out Spudly & Big Guns were in on it from the start.

---


Linda LaHughes dad was in a sideboard and not an iron lung ..makes ya think

*Refuses to tell parents about poverty (who also foster) for fear of embarrassment* then goes and advertises said poverty on national TV and radio and for extra posterity Hansards- really makes you think...